| Anansi vs. Ananzi | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Season 7, Episode 5 | |
| Air date | May 17. 2022 |
| Written by | I'm Lynda |
| Episode guide | |
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Anansi vs. Ananzi is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Anansi from the animated television series, Miraculous Ladybug, and Ananzi from the video game, The Black Heart.
Description[]
Two spider-women battle to the death to see who is the most spider-ish.
Interlude[]
Wiz: Anansi is a character from West Africa, whose tales spread with the victims of the transatlantic slave trade to the Caribbean and the United States.
Boomstick: Anansi is a beloved god who is a trickster, and often takes the form of a spider.
Wiz: His name is well-known in these areas, and his name is sometimes taken by others.
Boomstick: Such as Anansi, the akumatized villain from animated French television series, Miraculous Ladybug.
Wiz: And Ananzi, the character from the fighting video game, The Black Heart.
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I am Boomstick.
Wiz: And it is our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Anansi[]
Wiz: Nora Césaire was a professional kickboxer from Paris, France, who fought under the name Anansi.
Boomstick: They have a Paris there too? Did they name it after Paris, Kentucky?
Wiz: No, quite the opposite.
Boomstick: Really? 'Cause that is a nice town.
Wiz: Anyway, for quite a while, Paris has been the target of the machinations of the super-villain, Hawk Moth.
Boomstick: Strangely, this guy is neither a hawk nor a moth. He uses magical butterflies as his weapon of choice, so why he's called Hawk Moth is beyond me.
Wiz: Actually, in French, it’s “le Papillon,” or “the Butterfly,” which actually makes more sense.
Boomstick: Pfft, the French. Anyway, this villain guy has the power to energize butterflies with dark energy, and then send them on to someone wallowing in negative emotions. When the dark butterfly, known as an “akuma” lands on the victim, it grants him or her superpowers, but also makes him or her subject to the will of the baddy. It’s a way to keep the superheroes Ladybug and Cat Noir on their toes.
Wiz: Nora was frightened for her family, especially for her little sister, Alya, so she was determined to protect them at all costs. And, being a champion kickboxer, she figured that she was more than capable of doing so. As such, when Alya wanted to go with her friends to watch the World Cup fireworks from the Ferris wheel on the Place de la Concorde, Nora put her foot down and forbade it.
Boomstick: Well, Marinette Dupain-Cheng succeeded in tricking Nora, and so the friends went out to have a night on the town, leaving Nora angry at her treatment. Well, old Hark Moth sensed her negative emotions, and sent an akuma to turn her into the super-villain Anansi, an eight-limbed super-powered martial artist.
Wiz: She went to the Place de la Concorde, and kidnapped Alya, which certainly brought her to the attention of Ladybug and Cat Noir. To overcome her, Ladybug had to bring in a new superhero, and, to cut a long story short, they triumphed over her.
Boomstick: Now, while Nora was tall and powerfully built, Anansi stands almost ten-feet-tall. She’s a bit of a beanpole, but that’s offset by her six arms and six lovely, unblinking eyes! Yeah, she’s definitely got the whole spider-look down...if you’re into that sort of thing.
Wiz: Anansi has all of Nora’s kickboxing talents, combined with super-strength. For example, she easily picked up a car in her left hands, and then threw it at the heroes. She picked up the secondary character Nino Lahiffe and threw him several blocks across Paris, before Ladybug snatched him out of the air with her yo-yo.
Boomstick: When fighting the miracular heroes...
Wiz: “Miracular?”
Boomstick: Hey, if they can say “evilized” and “akumatized,” then I can say “miracular.” Anyway, while fighting Ladybug and Cat Noir, her punches were powerful enough to send Cat Noir flying, like a kite, and she punches damaged the Arc de Triomphe enough to bring it down on her own head.
Wiz: Which brings us to her durability. Like all akumatized villains, she is extraordinarily resistant to damage. The Arc de Triomphe is made from about 110,000 US tons, or 100,000 metric tons, of limestone, and yet, she emerged from its rubble without apparently suffering any damage.
Boomstick: She also took a direct hit on the chin from Cat Noir’s staff being extended. That magic doohickey once telescoped out to about a mile long in matter of about two seconds. After the hit, Anansi rubbed her jaw, but showed no damage, and no real pain!
Wiz: She also has some additional spider-powers. For example, she can easily walk up vertical surfaces, like Spider-Man.
Boomstick: And like Spidey, she can shoot out spider webs, though she spits hers out of her mouth. She used them to make a web covering the entire opening of the Arc de Triomphe, and when she fought the villain Stormy Weather, she spat one into her face, and then threw her a long distance with it.
Wiz: But, Anansi is not without her weaknesses. She is supremely confident in her abilities as a fighter, which makes her unafraid, and even unwary. Ladybug had no problem goading her into a kickboxing match, taking her attention away from everything else that was going on around her. And, with some quick trash talk, the bug goaded her into a blind rage, causing her to punch the Arc de Triomphe, and bringing it down on herself.
Boomstick: Anansi maybe massively confident, but it’s not without good cause; she’s a hell of a puncher, and can arach-hit her way out of any sticky situation!
Ananzi[]
Wiz: There is another world, which orbits a different sun, perhaps in a different universe or dimension. This world was created beautiful and fruitful by an entity that ruled it wisely and beneficently.
Boomstick: However, the god-king of this world aged, and eventually became tired and impotent. But that didn’t mean that his power had gone away. In fact, there were those who saw it as a prize to be seized.
Wiz: In particular, there was a creature that emerged from the outer Chaos of the uncreated universe, the blackness between worlds, and it was called the Final. The Final was a creature of almost unimaginable power, and it attacked the Creator, tore out his heart, and escaped with it back into the outer Chaos.
Boomstick: The Creator’s heart contained his power, and if anything, it became an even greater prize. So, a group of entities pursued the Final, with the intention of fighting it and each other, to claim that prize.
Wiz: One of the contestants in this battle was called the Prince. He was the son of the creator, and saw himself as the rightful heir to his father’s power. For a long time, the Prince had been collecting an army of Shar-makais, wormlike creatures from the Chaos. So, when his father was killed, the Prince sent his Shar-makais to recover the heart.
Boomstick: Yeah, but the demon-lord presently known as Prince had a daughter, named Ananzi, who hated the Shar-makais. Ananzi had trained her entire life as a martial artist, honing her rather curvaceous body into a weapon, hoping to prove to her father that the Shar-makais were not needed. Well, old Daddy Dearest wasn’t about to call back his soldiers, but it never hurt to have more than one iron in the fire, so he gave Ananzi his blessing in seeking the heart.
Wiz: Ananzi fought her way through all of her competitors, and finally squared off against the Final. She emerged victorious, with the creature’s blood dripping off of her hands. But at the point of her ultimate triumph, the creature surprised her by informing her that he had not been the one to kill her grandfather, but it had been her father, the Prince.
Boomstick: Ananzi didn’t want to believe him, but when Daddy Dearest showed up, and punched a hole right through her torso, she realized that the Final was right. Unfortunately, it was a bit too late at that point.
Wiz: In appearance, Ananzi looks like a beautiful young human woman, with long black hair, and blood-red eyes.
Boomstick: Her powers are based on her magical connection to the black widow spider. When she wants to, she looks like normal woman, but when in combat she can sprout four spider legs from her back, giving her eight limbs.
Wiz: She can strike at a target behind herself with the extra limbs, or she can use them in a special attack called the “Stampede.” With the Stampede she charges forward very fast on her extra limbs, while her arms turn into spider limbs and she slashes with them, attacking very rapidly. The “Prey” is an attack where she leaps high into the air and then lands on an opponent.
Boomstick: A different sort of attack is the “Black Trap,” which allows her to make a spiderweb trap that can catch an opponent. An attack that she can use only rarely is the “Super Black Trap,” where not only is the opponent caught, but Ananzi leaps into the air, turns into her giant black widow form and then delivers a particularly damaging spider bite. Did I mention that she has a giant spider form?
Wiz: A particularly horrifying attacking is the “Crawling Birth.” In this attack, Ananzi creates a white ball of spider silk that is full of black widow spiders. These spiders spread out of the target, giving poisonous bites that produce local pain, severe sweating and nausea for about 15 seconds. In the even more extreme "Arachnid Requiem," she transforms into an array of magical spiders that seem to pass trough the target causing considerable damage.
Boomstick: And finally there is Ananzi's ultimate attack, "Agony Kiss!" In this final attack, she throws her opponent into a spiderweb, turns into her giant spider form, and wraps the opponent up is spider silk. Then, she gives them a "kiss" and returns to her human form. The opponent then begins twitching in agony, as spiders shoot out from the area of the kiss, and finally they explode in a shower of blood and bones, releasing a whole horde of new spiders. Actually, my ex-wife's kiss was something like that as well.
Wiz: Ananzi is a tough combatant, with some really terrifying attacks.
Boomstick: Yeah, I don't care how computer-savvy you are, stay away from her websites!
Intermission[]
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: Its time for a DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE![]
Pre-Fight []
In the Place Charles de Gaulle, Anansi reclined upside-down in the spiderweb that she had formed across the opening of the Arc de Triomphe. She had Alya stuck high up in the web, and now she was waiting for the arrival of Ladybug and Cat Noir.
She softly sang to herself, “♪ Anansi – she is a spider, Anansi – she is woman; Anansi – she is a fighting one, crush fly-weights when she can; Yeah, crush fly-weights when she can. ♪”
Suddenly, Hawk Moth’s voice boomed in her head, “Anansi, stay focused! Ladybug and Cat Noir could be here any moment!”
Anansi laughed mirthlessly and then responded, “You think I’m afraid of the Beetle and Mr. Whiskers? Ha!”
She laced her fingers behind her head and resumed singing her song, “♪ Anansi want mango tree, she loves the fruit so ripe; She will take the mango trees she wants to; Have a bite. ♪”
Suddenly, a strange noise pierced the gloom of the night.
Anansi looked up, and there was a black haired woman walking up the Avenue des Champs-Élysées towards her. The shrieking noise sounded again, and four large spider legs shot out of the woman’s back and flexed in the dark Parisian air.
Hawk Moth’s voice returned to her head, purring, “Anansi, she must have the Spider Miraculous. Take it from her and give it to me.”
“Sure thing, Mothy,” Anansi answered. Then, she began crawling down the web, towards the ground. “Taking her Miraculous shouldn’t take me five seconds!”
Alya looked down from position high up in the arch and studied the newcomer.
Then, she called down to her sister, “Nora, be careful. I don’t think that there is a Spider Miraculous!”
Anansi had just reached the paving stones of the Place, and she stood up.
“No worries, Little Sis. There’s no opponent that Anansi can’t take down. This will be a first round knockout!”
Then, Anansi raised her hands, and lifted first one top-shoulder, cracking the joint, and then the other one, cracking that joint as well.
The two opponents squared off some ten feet apart. Anansi dropped into a fighting stance, with her left leg back, her right leg forward, and her six arms bent and ready.
“Look who’s here,” Anansi declared. “It’s the Itsy Bitsy Spider.”
Ananzi swept off a cape that she had been wearing, and tossed it to the side. Then, she began undulating, like a cobra being charmed by a snake charmer.
“My name is Ananzi,” she declared in a rich, contralto voice.
Anansi’s lips pulled back in a snarl, and she said, “I am the one and only Anansi, little spider. Prepare to be squashed!”
FIGHT! []
Suddenly, Ananzi leaned down and deployed the spider limbs from her back, and her arms turned into another pair of spider limbs. She shot forward, with her frontmost limbs racking at her opponent.
Anansi fell back, as she used her six arms to block each of the other woman’s attacks.
Ananzi jumped forward, and spun into a roundhouse kick, which her opponent blocked easily. With her back still turned, she deployed the spider limbs from her back, striking at the other.
Anansi blocked the attack, and then leaned in, delivering a titanic three-fisted punch.
Ananzi flew across the street, and into a van. The vehicle rocked violently side-to-side, as she slid to the ground.
“Already down for the count?” Anansi sneered, while punching at the air. “That didn’t take long.”
Ananzi’s back spider limbs flashed out, instantly taking her to her feet. She again began undulating, her arms at the ready.
The other woman looked on in surprise, and then resumed her fighting stance.
“OK,” she declared. “Ting! Ting! Bell’s ringing! Round Two! Fight!”
Ananzi pulled her hand back, and suddenly a white ball appeared in her hand. She threw her hand forward, throwing the ball at the other woman. The ball hit, and a group of tiny spiders surged out onto her skin. Anansi could feel them bighting painfully. She screamed and used her six hands to quickly wipe them off of her.
Anansi resumed her fighting stance, and then she growled and said, “You’re going to pay for that one!”
Ananzi pulled her hand back, and created another Crawling Birth. She threw it, but before it could hit, Anansi leaped high into the air and landed close to her opponent. She aimed a triple-fisted punch at her, but Ananzi deployed the spider limbs from her back, and used them to propel herself high into the air.
Ananzi spread out all eight limbs, seeking to land on top of the other, but she quickly leaped backward, out of her reach.
Ananzi crouched, deployed her spider legs, and Stampeded forward, slashing with her foremost limbs. Anansi used her six arms to block each slash. Then, she lifted her leg and kicked the other in the face, knocking her over backward.
Ananzi used her back spider limbs to surge upright and back into the fight. She kicked and spun, punched and leaped, crouched and slashed with her spider limbs. In spite of the rapidity of the assault, Anansi skillfully used her six arms to block every attack.
Suddenly, in a moment when the other hesitated, Anansi opened her mouth, and spat a line of spider silk at her. The silk enveloped Ananzi’s face, and then Anansi grabbed the web material in all six hands, pulled and then turned in a spin, pulling the other into the air.
She spun, and then suddenly released the silk, throwing Ananzi into the Arc de Triomphe. The limestone material cracked, and Ananzi slid to the ground.
Anansi stepped forward, but suddenly, Ananzi used her spider limbs to shoot back to her feet. She pulled the webbing off of her face and resumed her undulating movement.
“Look out!” Alya yelled from her perch, stuck high in the spiderweb.
Anansi looked up with an irritated look.
“Don’t sweat it!” she called back. “I’ve not lost a fight yet!”
The two opponents surged towards each other, and resumed the melee.
Ananzi moved rapidly, attacking high and low. Anansi keeping her arms in tight, blocking attacks and striking out when she could.
Nearby, Ladybug and Cat Noir landed on a rooftop, and looked over at the Place Charles de Gaulle.
“There’s Anansi,” Cat Noir announced. “But, who is she fighting?”
“I don’t know,” Ladybug answered thoughtfully. “I’ve never seen her before.”
Cat Noir hefted his staff, and said, “Well, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Shall join the fun?”
“Not just yet,” Ladybug answered, staring at the fight.
The fight moved about the Place Charles de Gaulle.
Anansi moved in and threw a series of punches. Ananzi crouched low, and leaned back, her spider limbs holding her up as she kicked out, snapping at Anansi's legs.
Anansi danced back, and then stamped down at Ananzi with her long legs.
Ananzi scuttled back on her spider limbs, and then used them to throw herself into the air. As she flew, she turned a summersault, her spider limbs slashing out at her opponent. Her opponent danced back, blocking the attack with her left hands as she retreated.
Ananzi crouched, and used her spider limbs to throw herself far into the air. She spread her limbs as she descended, but Anansi danced back, out of range of the attack.
Then, Anansi surged forward, aiming punches at her. Ananzi turned, slashing out with her spider limbs. She continued the turn, lifting her leg, and firing a roundhouse kick at her opponent's head.
Anansi caught the flying leg in her right hands and pulled her off balance, twisting her in. She used her left three hands to grab her head and shoulders, and then lifted the black widow into the air. She pulled back her right hands and delivered a titanic triple punch, sending her flying up the Avenue d'Iéna.
"Yes!" Anansi cheered, and began throwing victory punches in the air.
Her opponent used her spider limbs to surge to her feet, and leaped forward. Anansi stilled in her fighting stance, ready for the next attack.
Ananzi threw back her hands, and stood stiff. Suddenly, her whole body seemed to go black. She had turned into a mass of spiders! Anansi stood stock-still with amazement.
Astoundingly, the spiders shot forward at her, seeming to tear at her as they passed.
Anansi staggered with pain and nausea, her vision closed to a tunnel, through which she could barely see her opponent.
She shakily returned to a fighting stance, when Ananzi surged forward, picked her up, and tossed her into a nearby spiderweb.
Before she could react, Ananzi shuddered, and suddenly turned into a giant black widow spider!
The spider reared up, and its forelegs pulled out silk that it used to cover Anansi, pinning her in the web. Then, it shot forward and delivered powerful bight to her torso.
Anansi cried out in pain, and struggled against the spider silk. But, she could not free herself.
"Nora!" Alya cried out in panic.
Spiders began to pop out of the wound.
They began to pop out faster and faster.
Suddenly, Anansi screamed and seemed to explode in a gory shower of flesh and blood and bones. Numerous spiders scurried away across the web.
There was a flash and Ananzi turned back into her human form.
K.O.! []
High up in the web in the Arc de Triomphe, Alya screamed and passed out.
In his aerie overlooking Paris, Hawk Moth shouted, "No!"
With spiders scuttling around her, Ananzi laughed a musical laugh as she threw her arm up in a sign of victory.
On the roof above the Brasserie Flo, a shocked Cat Noir turned to Ladybug.
Ladybug stared down openmouthed at the Place Charles de Gaulle.
"Ladybug!" he shouted.
Snapping out of her shock, Ladybug threw her yo-yo across to an outcropping on the Arc. When it was caught, she leaped off into the Parisian night. Cat Noir planted his staff, and followed her down.
Results[]
Boomstick: Yeah, that...looked like a pretty painful way to go.
Wiz: Anansi was a formidable combatant. With her superhuman strength, in a straight-up fight, she would have eventually beaten her opponent into the ground. But, unfortunately, this wasn't such a straight-up fight.
Boomstick: Ananzi was a great fighter, but her strongest attacks were not just punches and kicks, but her magical attacks, such as the Crawling Birth and the Arachnid Requiem.
Wiz: In Miraculous, akumatized villains do seem to have a very strong durability, but that is never clearly tested. Cat Noir has never used his Cataclysm attack against one, and Ladybug has never received a Lucky Charm that was a red anvil with black polkadots that dropped on an opponent's head.
Boomstick: OK, now that would be awesome, I would love to see that!
Wiz: Cat Noir was only actually physically damaged when Miraculer used his own Cataclysm against him, which suggests that they can only truly be hurt by magical attacks.
Boomstick: Which brings us back to Anansi, she could probably only truly be injured by a magical attack, and Ananzi's greatest attacks were, in fact, magical.
Wiz: As such, Ananzi had some real, if magical, advantages over her opponent.
Boomstick: So, the winner is the babe with the legs of a spider, Ananzi!
