Amy Rose VS Harley Quinn is a What-If? Death Battle by Howsitgduud, featuring Amy Rose from the Sonic the Hedgehog series and Harley Quinn from DC Comics in a fight between pink love-sick women.
Description[]
Sega VS DC! Which insane, hammer-wielding lovestruck woman will defeat the other?
Interlude[]
Wiz: In Japanese culture, Yandere refers to a person whose love for someone becomes deranged, violent, and downright insane.
Boomstick: What he means is, bitches be crazy. And these two are really crazy.
Wiz: Amy Rose, Sonic the Hedgehog’s #1 fan.
Boomstick: And Harley Quinn, Joker’s right-hand woman. He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.
Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Amy Rose[]
Wiz: From the valleys of Green Hills to the skyscrapers of Central City, there is one name that is known far and wide; and that is the Blue Blur, Sonic the Hedgehog.
Boomstick: Like any hero, Sonic had a lot of fans, and by far the most well-known of those fans is Amy Rose.
Wiz: Being an avid fan of Sonic and tarot cards for some reason, Amy used her cards to predict that her and Sonic were destined to be together, so she went to meet with him on the satellite Little Planet.
Boomstick: Yeah, and apparently these tarot cards are either the best tarot cards in the world or the worst tarot cards in the world, since Sonic just so happened to be there, but they didn’t predict that Metal Sonic was also there to kidnap her. I’m never going to another psychic ever again.
Wiz: Faulty pseudoscience aside, Sonic rescued her from his robotic counterpart and saved Little Planet from Dr. Eggman’s clutches. But this wasn’t enough for Amy.
Boomstick: Yeah, apparently Amy can’t get enough of this blue fucker and his many adventures, so she basically harassed Sonic until she can get a chance to prove herself worthy enough to join the Sonic Team.
Wiz: And prove herself she did. Amy has become an indispensable member of Team Sonic with her experience in kickboxing, and her weapon of choice, the Piko Piko hammer.
Boomstick: This isn’t your ordinary squeaky toy. Amy uses this mallet to send enemies flying, break steel, and even knock spaceships in orbit back, which we determined would take at least 2 tons of force.
Wiz: Not only that, but Amy also has a few special moves that utilize this hammer. The Hammer Jump can help her gain a few feet into the air, the Propeller Hammer can help her float in the air, the Tornado Hammer can generate localized whirlwinds, and the Rose Typhoon can create a shockwave so large that it knocks foes back. She can even replicate Sonic’s Spin Dash and Homing Attack.
Boomstick: Ok, how can she do all of this? She’s just using a hammer! How is she able to make whirlwinds and friggin’ fly?
Wiz: Well, normally, all this would be physically impossible to achieve with even the world’s best sledgehammers, but remember, this is in the same world where a blue hedgehog and a two tailed fox fight a heavy-set doctor with an army of bug robots hell-bent on world conquest.
Boomstick: ...I guess you have a point.
Wiz: Even in the crazy world of Sonic, Amy has done some pretty incredible stuff. She knocked over a 25-foot robot, took hits from Super Sonic, and even destroyed a robot with a baseball.
Boomstick: She can even run almost as fast as Sonic. Sure, she admitted she’s not as fast, but even if her top speed is half Sonic’s top speed, that’s still 5 times the speed of sound! Really, the only thing she can’t do is save her own ass.
Wiz: Yeah, regardless of all her heroics, Amy is pretty reckless. She’s gotten kidnapped by Robotnik time and time again, with Sonic needing to save her time and time again.
Boomstick: Plus, she has a seriously unhealthy obsession with Sonic. And yeah, she’s matured over the years, but there’s still a long way to go.
Wiz: Even through all that, Amy has shown to be a great hero, so much so that she made her own team, Team Rose. No matter what, you can count on Amy to protect Sonic no matter the cost.
Boomstick: Except from mind controlling beavers.
Wiz: Except from mind controlling beavers.
“If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!”
Harley Quinn[]
Wiz: Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime, a name that strikes fear into the heart of any Gotham civilian. He is ruthless, cunning, dangerous, downright evil. It would take a truly insane mind to ever fall in love with such a monstrous person.
Boomstick: There’s a lot of those kinds of people in Gotham, so she wasn’t very hard to find.
Wiz: Enter Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a fresh graduate of Gotham University interested in studying criminal psychology. She was assigned to Arkham Asylum to try and study the Joker just to see what makes him tick, but she ended up falling in love with him.
Boomstick: How does that happen? She does realize that he’s a mass murdering psychopath, right?
Wiz: Well, it’s implied that Harleen was mentally insane before meeting him, since the reason she got her doctorate in the first place is by forcing her boyfriend into a position where he would go insane.
Boomstick: Huh. Kind of reminds me how me and my ex-wife met...
Wiz: ...ok... Moving on, Harleen developed such a crush on the Joker that she eventually helped him escape. In return, Joker took her to the most romantic destination he could find: The same place he went to complete his transformation into the Joker.
Boomstick: Mmmm... Nothing more romantic than almost drowning in a vat of chemicals and turning criminally insane. Again, reminds me of my ex-wife... That’s weird...
Wiz: From that point forward, Harleen Quinzel was dead, and the criminal Harley Quinn was born. Harley quickly became a valuable part of Joker’s crew, with her Olympic-level experience with gymnastics helping her commit crimes.
Boomstick: Not only that, but she also has loads of weapons to aid her. She has baseball bats, pop guns, cupcake bombs, dynamite, grenade launchers, and a giant mallet. She can even summon her pet hyenas, Bud and Lou out of nothing. They just show up right the hell out of nowhere!
Wiz: Also, due to her *ahem* intimate relationship with Poison Ivy, she gained an immunity to virtually every poison, which includes man-made toxins like Joker’s Laughing Gas and Scarecrows Fear Toxins. Really, she could be her own supervillain, which is eventually what happened.
Boomstick: Eventually, Harley Quinn had enough of the Joker’s shitty way of treating her, and left him to be her own person. Fuck yeah, stick it to him, you pink fucker!
Wiz: Harley Quinn is definitely no pushover. She held her own against the likes of Batman, Wonder Woman, Mercy Graves, Killer Croc, and even the Joker.
Boomstick: She’s been key player in superhero groups like the Gotham City Sirens, the Birds of Prey, the Quintettes, and even the Suicide Squa-
*smack*
Ow! What was that for?
Wiz: We don’t talk about that around here. *ahem* The only thing stopping Harley from taking over all of Gotham City is really, herself. Despite her strengths, she is still human, and can be killed like anybody else. Plus, she flips allegiances so often, I’m surprised she even joins teams.
Boomstick: Even with all that, Harley Quinn is still a mean, pink fighting machine! You don’t mess with the queen of Gotham.
“I'm the one they should be scared of! Not you, not Mr.J! Because I'm Harley Fucking Quinn!”
Pre-Fight[]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!
Death Battle[]
On the steps of the Gotham Museum of Natural History, a tattered banner starts to fall off the building, with the words, “JEWELS FROM ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE: GRAND OPENING!” printed on it.
An alarm sounded throughout the museum, entering the ears of unconscious security guards on the ground, their bodies seeing signs of battle. In the brand-new exhibit, an athletic-looking woman wielding a giant hammer walks over these bodies through the vast array of jewels.
The woman is dressed from head to toes in a tattered clothing, complete with fishnet stockings, jean shorts, and a blue jacket with a white undershirt underneath it. Her face is done up with heavy white concealer, and blue and pink eyeshadow, and her dyed blue and pink hair is done up in two ponytails. This was unmistakably the Joker’s former right-hand woman, Harley Quinn.
Harley walks through the rows of immaculate jewels, from a spherical amber one with 3 stars on it, a large gold gauntlet with 5 multi-colored rocks on it, and what seemed to be a full suit of armor made out of pure diamond. She wasn’t interested in any of those, however, for her eyes were glued to a large green emerald in front of her with a sign that read, “THE MAJESTIC CHAOS EMERALD” over it.
The glass over the emerald was completely obliterated with a single swing of Harley’s mallet. She marveled at the beauty of the emerald as she took it in her hand. As she was figuring out if the emerald could fit around her neck, she heard a voice shoot up from behind her;
???: HEY!
Harley looked behind her, expecting to see a vigilante looking to stop her or a familiar green ginger ready to chew her out about not inviting her on heists, but instead, she found a very angry pink hedgehog-looking creature looking back at her. Harley didn’t know this yet, but that hedgehog is Amy Rose, Sonic’s #1 fan.
Harley sighed and put her hammer in a relaxed position.
Harley: Alright, is Cobblepot now sending little hedgehogs to do his dirty work?
She puts the emerald in her pocket as she says,
Harley: I’ll take this to him as soon as I figure out where the rest are, ‘kay?
(https://youtu.be/TEaj8kIl8o4 plays)
Amy pulled her own Piko Piko hammer out as she says,
Amy: Sorry, lady. That emerald belongs to Sonic. I can’t let you leave with it.
Harley: Oh yeah?
Harley put her mallet in a battle stance.
Harley: You and what army?
FIGHT!
Amy rushes towards Harley, ready to bring her hammer down on her.
Harley: WOAH!
Harley blocks Amy’s hammer with her own. Amy and Harley’s hammers clash, with Amy knocking Harley back with her hammer. Harley stopped herself from falling over and gripped her hammer tighter.
Amy rushed towards Harley again, with Harley swinging her hammer to meet the hedgehog’s. The two knock hammers until Amy spins her hammer around and knocks Harley into the diamond armor exhibit, breaking it into pieces.
Harley, eyeing the broken armor, gets an idea. Amy uses her hammer to propel herself into the air, then holds it above her head, ready to bring it down on Harley.
Harley grabs a large chunk of the diamond armor and uses it to shield herself from Amy’s hammer. It works, as Amy shatters the diamond fragment and Harley follows up by swinging her hammer upwards, hitting Amy into the air. As Amy falls, Harley swings her hammer back and knocks her out of the exhibit.
Amy crashes through the doors, knocking over a large pillar and dropping her hammer in the process. Amy, upon realizing that Harley was rushing towards her, quickly tucks herself into a ball, revs up some speed, and rolls towards her. Harley tries to hold her ground, but is knocked back by the attack. She tries swinging her hammer at Amy, but Amy runs in circles around Harley, picking her Piko Piko hammer back up in the process.
While Harley is dazed from the sudden speed, Amy swings her hammer around her body and creates a small tornado. The tornado is blasted towards Harley, sucking everything up in her path. Harley tries to get away from Rose’s Typhoon, but gets sucked in instead. Amy jumps inside the typhoon, using bits of debris and museum exhibits as platforms.
Harley, suspended in midair trying not to get hit by the museum bits, sees Amy leap towards her. Harley blocks the attack with her hammer, but is unfortunately propelled out of the tornado by the impact. On the ground outside of the typhoon, Harley also realizes that her hammer has been split in half. Angered, Harley reaches into her pocket and throws a small object into the tornado.
Inside the tornado, Amy finds a small chunk of dinosaur bones to stop and take a breath on when she is hit in face with a little ball. On closer inspection, it’s apparent that the object is a fake cupcake, with a blinking light on it. Before Amy could digest what she saw, the cupcake exploded, launching her out of the tornado just in time for it to disappear.
As Harley got back up, she was struck in the face with a hammer. Amy ran up to her, grabbing her hammer to finish the job, but Harley bicycle kicked her in the face, now bringing Amy to the floor and bringing Harley to her feet.
Harley pulls twin pop guns out of her belt. She aimed them both at the downed hedgehog.
Harley: I would say this was fun, but I don’t feel like lyin’.
Amy: Get those things out of my face!
Amy kicked one of Harley’s guns out of hands and get up to take another swing at Harley. Harley blocks Amy’s hammer and smacked Amy with her gun. She takes a few shots at Amy and kicked her into the wall.
Amy used her hammer to propel herself into the air and struck the ground with her hammer so hard she created a shockwave that headed straight towards Harley. Harley backflipped over the shockwave and punched Amy in the face, knocking the Piko Piko hammer out of her hand.
Harley, while pulling a stick of dynamite out of her pocket, slid under Amy, tripping the hedgehog while placing the dynamite under her. It blew up, and Amy lay on the ground in shock as she heard a voice above her.
Harley: Snacktime, boys!
Amy saw two hyenas race towards her. Before she could react, the hyenas pinned her down and started knawing on her flesh, while Harley walked up with a baseball bat and prepared to bring it down on Amy. But before the bat made contact with Amy’s face, she caught it.
Harley, in surprise, tries lifting her bat back to her, but Amy would not let up. Amy started a tug-of-war with the baseball bat that ended with Harley somersault-kicking Amy in the face, bringing the bat back to her.
Amy, now furious, curls up into a ball again and uses her Homing Attack again. But Harley was ready for it. Harley pulled out her bat, took a deep breath, and, seeing a pink spiny ball of destruction barreling towards her, swung.
CRRRRRAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKK!
The bat connects with Amy, and Amy is skyrocketed into the air, putting a hole in the museum’s ceiling. Amy lands in a nearby park, hitting many trees and rocks on the way down.
Amy, now struggling to get up off the ground, takes a look at her legs. They were bloody, bruised, and most definitely broken. Still, Amy lifts her head up off the ground to face Harley, now standing above her with the Piko Piko hammer in her hand.
Amy: No... I can’t lose...
Harley: Yeah, yeah.
Harley lifts the hammer above her head.
Harley: See you in hell.
Harley brings the hammer down at full force, reducing Amy’s head to nothing but a couple of pink quills, golden rings, and a pool of blood.
Harley tossed the hammer next to the body and walked away giggling gleefully, emerald in hand.
KO!
Harley Quinn tosses a stick of dynamite over her shoulder, which lands on Amy’s corpse and explodes. Harley walks away from the explosion like a badass, with Bud and Lou right next to her.
Results[]
Boomstick: Damn! I thought Sonic was a kid’s game!
Wiz: Amy was certainly a very powerful opponent, but Harley Quinn held solid advantages in many aspects. First, it’s pretty clear that Amy was faster than Harley, since she could keep up with Sonic, but speed didn’t really matter in this fight anyway, since Harley had a much more unpredictable arsenal and fighting style.
Boomstick: Let’s talk strength. It is true that Amy was technically stronger than Harley, with her throwing her hammer at that spaceship putting her strength at least 2 tons. But that wasn’t enough.
Wiz: While Amy’s strength feat is fairly easy to deduce, Harley has never shown her true potential strength. So, let’s examine someone Harley has beat in the past, Killer Croc. Croc has never really given his best either, but we do know that he threw a school bus weighing 12.5 tons.
Boomstick: And Harley just throws him around like he’s nothing! So even though Harley most likely can’t stack up to Amy’s strength, she has definitely been able to keep up with stronger foes.
Wiz: Even if Amy could get a good hit in, it wouldn’t be fatal. Harley Quinn has matched Batman in combat, who was able to take hits from Bane and Solomon Grundy no problem. Amy has never shown to be nearly as tough as him.
Boomstick: Point is: Amy was faster than Harley and really strong, but she didn’t have any way to put Harley down for good. Harley was too tough, too agile, and too experienced for the pink hedgehog to “handle.”
Wiz: The winner is Harley Quinn.
Trivia[]
·The connection between Amy Rose and Harley Quinn is that they are both love-sick characters whose borderline insane love for a super powered individual (Sonic and Joker, respectively) usually goes unrequited. They are both also seen in comic books and TV shows usually wielding hammers and dressed in pink and/or red. They both also joined a crime-fighting group at some point in their lives (Team Sonic and The Suicide Squad, respectively).