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Workers From The Stars, Always In Harm's Way
Crewployee
Season Sin's What If? Season
Season Episode 1
Air date 1/12/24
Written by ThSlIlN
Episode guide
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Among Us vs. Lethal Company is a What If? Death Battle written by ThSlIlN, featuring The Crewmate from Among Us and The Employee from Lethal Company.

Description[]

Crewmate vs. Employee, these workers search the far depths of space for their job, but who would win a hit indie game brawl? Is the real winner among us all along? Just how Lethal is this Company? Let's find out!

Interlude[]

Wiz: The Crewmate from Among Us.

Crewmateintro

Boomstick: The Employee from Lethal Company!

Employeeintro

Wiz: The depths of space are dangerous grounds, housing the most vile monsters known to man.

Boomstick: But which space-exploring minimum wage worker would come out on top?

Wiz: It’s about time we sus this out.

Boomstick: He’s Wiz, and I’m Boomstick!

Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win… A DEATH BATTLE!

The Crewmate is Among Us in DEATH BATTLE![]

Wiz: Deep in the depths of space, there lies a crew on various bases and ships. This crew’s job is unknown, but they seem to be a team of researchers exploring new frontiers.

Boomstick: At least they would, if there wasn’t a deadly imposter among them!

  • Info
    • Name: Unknown
    • Height: 3’6” (109 cm)
    • Weight: 92 lbs (42 kg)
    • Job: Crewmate
    • Likes: Research
    • Dislikes: Imposters
    • Kinda sus

Wiz: To say the crewmate has a bit of a trust issue would be an understatement.

Boomstick: Yeah, imagine if you had to travel space with a crew of individuals who may be deadly aliens! The crewmate seems at least skilled in scientific stuff. They commonly use viles and run electricity. Hey, kinda like you, Wiz.

Wiz: Please, with their small height, it’s a wonder these little guys can do much research at all. To be fair, they are quite quick when it comes to deductive reasoning, since they need to root out imposters in their group.

Boomstick: Whatever Wiz, they have funny hats! Funny hats!

Wiz: Still, these guys can be pretty deadly. They have many ways of combating the Imposter. The guardian angel can hover over a crewmate and save them from certain death. They have access to advanced ventilation systems for transportation, hell they even have weapons.

Boomstick: If you count the simple knife and gun they seem to use. Honestly Wiz, I’ve been wondering. Why do I see these guys everywhere?

Wiz: They are a very popular facit of internet culture. It’s not uncommon to see them online.

Boomstick: No no… I mean, why do I see them everywhere else? Like, signs, and cars, and trash cans, and stands, book, hooks, chicken nuggets! They are everywhere!

Wiz: Relax boomstick I’m sure it’s- Wait a minute. Oh god, my fingernails! They ARE everywhere!

Boomstick: Well… Even if they are in every part of society, it’s important to distinguish the crewmates from the imposters! Ooooo!

Wiz: Imposters are a lot like crewmates, only they are actually a shapeshifting alien that slowly picks off the entire crew. They have massive gaping mouths and a tongue sharp enough to stab right through someone.

Boomstick: These bad boys are deadly monsters and expert manipulators. They have fooled entire crews before into believing they are innocent. And honestly, they can fool me.

Wiz: The crewmates, and especially imposters, are smart, deductive, and sometimes deadly. I guess that’s just what you need to survive with all of these threats among them.

Employees make for Lethal Company in DEATH BATTLE![]

Boomstick: In a far corner of the galaxy, a company sends various workers out to moons, extracting extremely valuable… Worthless junk.

Wiz: The company’s name is unknown, but all we know is that scrap is worth credits, and you have a quota to fill.

Boomstick: Yes, you! It’s time to get to work, employee!

  • Info
    • Name: Unknown Sigurd
    • Age: Unkown
    • Height: Average Human
    • Weight: Unknown
    • Occupation: Employee
    • Likes: Scrap, Getting Paid
    • Dislikes: Monsters, Their Job
    • They come in teams!

Wiz: Of course, the employee isn’t alone in this endless debt of quotas and scrap. The employee is equipped with both their biggest strength and biggest weakness: Teammates.

Boomstick: For the most part, these guys are just normal 9-5 workers thrown into one of the deadliest jobs in the galaxy. Forced to travel to deadly moons filled with even deadlier monsters!

Wiz: Still, they aren’t without defenses. The Employee has a wide range of tools to help combat the threats in front of them.

Boomstick: Like their trusted weapon of choice, the shovel. Able to take down small enemies in just a few hits!

Wiz: Well, in order to kill things, it’s much more effective to stop them first. The flashbang is a small, one time use solution, while the rechargeable stun gun can stop monsters dead in their tracks, provided the employee can properly handle it.

Boomstick: In terms of mobility, the TZP-Inhalant can act as basically a speed drug, and the jetpack can help them get to heights they couldn’t normally. At least, for a while. That bucket of bolts is barely usable sometimes.

Wiz: You know, I’ve actually been working on a jetpack myself, and I know the perfect test subject to use it.

Boomstick: Awww yeah! You’re the best, buddy!

Wiz: Huh?

(Jocelyn can be heard flying a jetpack before a loud crashing sound is heard)

Boomstick: You know what, I dodged a bullet.

Wiz: On the topic of bullets, the most deadly weapon they have is taken from one monster in particular, the Nutcracker. They can kill the Nutcracker to obtain a-

Boomstick: Shotgun!!! Nevermind, these guys are awesome!

Wiz: Hold yourself, Boomstick. The Shotgun is just an ordinary double barrel shotgun, but it’s close range shots can kill many monsters instantly.

Boomstick: Small ammo count doesn’t matter if they can shoot like 70% of their monsters and kill them! That’s so kick-ass!

Wiz: Not to mention, finding enemies is easy thanks to their Echo Scanner. This bad boy can find anything of value within the Employee’s view. It can even calculate the value of an object based on it’s appearance!

Boomstick: Plus, these things can help give vital information about certain creatures that the employee needs to have to survive.

Wiz: In any case, the Employee is well equipped to deal with the tasks given to them, and the job they must complete.

Boomstick: Looks like this company is lethal in more ways than one…

Pre-DEATH BATTLE![]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we’ve run the data through all possibilities.

Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!

DEATH BATTLE![]

(Opens on the Skeld, a space ship with long hallways and a unique layout. The ship is boarded by another spacecraft that autopilot to the location. A Red Crewmate is seen simply doing their tasks near the reactor, as something humanoid boards the ship. Upon investigation, the Crewmate finds the Employee picking up various items from the security room. When they reveal themselves, Employee looks at Crewmate shocked.)

(We switch to the Employee POV, when they use the scanner to get a read on the Crewmate. The scanner simply marks them as “???” and seems scared. The Crewmate just stays completely still.)

(The Employee takes out a shovel and whacks the Crewmate, instantly killing them.)

(The Employee immediately starts dancing in victory, but soon the Crewmate manages to wake up. It seems a guardian angel has saved them from death, this time. The Employee keeps it’s shovel steady while the Crewmate gets ready to run. Fight!)

(The Crewmate begins running away through the top left end of the map, and the Employee follows. The Crewmate make it’s way to the Medbay, dodging shovel hits from the Employee. Crewmate grabs a vile of liquid and throws it at the Employee.)

(The Employee is damaged by this and drops their shovel. Seeing this, the Crewmate uses a Fungle spore to cloak the area in smoke and hide itself. While getting on their feet, looking around wondering why they can’t see anything, the Employee is nearly stabbed inthe back by the Crewmate. However, a quick flashbang from Employee prevents this. Employee runs away from the medbay and into the meeting lounge)

(The Crewmate quickly follows, though slower. Crewmate begins using their knife to try an stab the Employee, but Employee keeps just barely dodging. Crewmate does manage to leave a small cut on their leg. The Crewmate gets sick of this back and forth, and takes out a gun. The Employee starts panicking.)

(As the Crewmate tries to fire, they are stopped with a shock. The Employee begins holding them there with the stun gun, keeping them in check briefly, but the Employee messes up the movements of the stun gun, and the Crewmate is let go. However, the Crewmate drops the gun while pulsating violently, and a gapping mouth opens from their body. The Crewmate was the Imposter.)

(The Employee begins running away fast, while the Imposter is catching up. The Imposter is noticeably faster than the Crewmate was. This is just before the Employee activates their jetpack, flying up to the boarding hatch and trying to leave the ship. The jetpack stumbles a bit on the way and derails, but the Employee jumps off just in time to grab onto the ledge of the hatch.)

(As the Employee starts climbing up to the company ship, the Skeld turrets outside aim and fire at one of the thrusters of the company ship, preventing it from undocking until the airlock on the Skeld is closed. Employee tries to close the airlock, but is stopped by the hand of the Imposter, pulling the door open.)

(The Imposter’s imposing figure stares down Employee before their spiked tongue stabs the Employee. The Employee only moves slightly to the side, making the spike not fatal, but they are hurt. We see the Employee POV with a “CRITICAL INJURY” flashing briefly.)

(As the Employee slowly limps away from the opening, and the Imposter begins entering the ship, slowly walking over to the Employee, who was in the middle of typing “Shotgun” into the terminal storage. The Nutcracker’s shotgun appears beside them, but they are getting lightheaded from blood loss, and the Imposter is approaching fast. Looking around for the last possible thing to save them, they start rummaging through their surroundings.)

( In the Employee POV, we see them fading in and out of black sight and clear sight, seeing the figure in front of them slowly approaching. Just next to the “SIGURD” sticky note, the Employee’s hand manages to find a TZP-inhalant. They quickly inhale it when the Imposter starts running towards them, mouth wide open, ready to kill the Employee. The Employee quickly grabs the shotgun, and in the Imposter’s gaping mouth, fires.)

(BANG!)

(A massive splash of blood is shown, and the Imposter flops over, with the top half showing only a cartoon-ish bone. After the body falls to the ground, the Employee slowly gets up, seeing that the ship’s alarm is flashing red.)

“WARNING, WARNING. HIGH SHIP DAMAGE TAKEN. IMPLOSION IMMINENT”

(The Employee only looks down at their desk, seeing a photo of a 4-person Employee team, presumably theirs, who are all absent from the ship. The nod their head, and look up. Our POV pans out to see both ships, before they both silently go out in a bang of glory.)

Results[]

K.O!

Boomstick: I knew it! That guy was red! He had to be the imposter!

Wiz: This matchup took a surprising amount of effort to figure out. Even at their peak, the two were still relatively normal workers in their field. In the end, there were only a few factors that lead the Employee to victory. First off, their speed. The medbay scan tells us that the Crewmates are only 3 foot 6 inches, or around 109 centimeters tall. Since we can estimate based on the of Lethal Company logic that the Employees are regular humans, their size difference is noticeable.

Boomstick: That may seem weird to mention, but the size of the crewmate’s legs, combined with how small they are, means that the Employee is going to be naturally faster. However, the Crewmate was certainly smarter.

Wiz: Crewmates aren’t just mindless employees who get hired and have to work one task, they are bonafide electricians and engineers, and pretty intelligent.

Boomstick: The Employees are bumbling idiots for the most part, and even the competent ones aren’t as proficient in the tasks Crewmates are. However, that’s not what decided this match.

Wiz: What brought the victor was their arsenal. Sure, the Crewmate knew how to properly man everything on their various ships and bases, but the most they had in terms of weaponry was a knife and a gun.

Boomstick: And even then, they always seemed to have that gun for certain situations. And it’s not like the Employee can’t tank shots like that. Sure, they die quickly to monsters, but only the ones with massive bites or a full shotgun blast. Smaller hits and even just one pullet of the shotgun isn’t enough to completely stop them.

Wiz: In contrast, an Employee has access to a wide array of tools and weapons able to combat any threat. Sure, these things may not be the sharpest tools in the shed, but they are excellant at keeping monsters at bay.

Boomstick: Additionally, almost everything the Employee had seemed like a counter to the Crewmate. They could stun the Crewmate, or hit them with a flashbang, or a shovel, or the shotgun, or get away with the jetpack or the inhalant, you get the idea.

Wiz: Plus, the advanced scanning technology shown in Lethal Company is easily able to find the Crewmate, letting the Employee always keep up with them. Once they found an opportunity, which considering the limited resources of the Crewmate was gonna happen eventually, they could take out the crewmate in many different ways.

Boomstick: Finally, you may be wondering… What would happen if that Crewmate was the Imposter? While the imposter has access to many things the crewmate doesn’t, like that big gaping mouth and faster run speed, a lot of the things the employee has that can handle the crewmate can also handle the imposter. In a way, the imposter is just a slightly scarier target for the employee to still take down.

Wiz: Though the crewmate fought valiantly, and the imposter with terrifying presence, the Employee’s tools and vast options had the tiny space blob outclassed.

Boomstick: Looks like through all that sus-pense, one was more lethal than the other.

Wiz: The winner is Lethal Company’s Employee.

Crewployeewinner

Next Time...[]

"I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do."

"You are not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here."

HalDOS

Trivia[]

  • Connections Between The Crewmate & The Employee are that they are player characters from indie games about space where they must work together with their crew to face mysterious threats while finishing simple tasks. Both games were popular in the 2020's.
  • The Track for this fight is "Among Their Company"
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