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Alexander Anderson VS Kirei Kotomine is a What-If? episode of Death Battle featuring Alexander Anderson from the anime/manga series Hellsing and Kirei Kotomine from the Fate Visual Novels.

Alexander Anderson VS Kirei Kotomine

Description[]

Priests hired to assassinate targets. Which of these somewhat insane Catholics will lay the other to rest?

Interlude[]

Wiz: It's no secret that priests can be one of the most terrifying types of people to meet.

Boomstick: But these two are so creepy that it puts them to shame!

Wiz: Alexander Anderson, the Regenerator of Iscariot.

Boomstick: And Kirei Kotomine, the Mage assassin.

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Alexander Anderson[]

Wiz: Within the Vatican, a secret organisation dwells with the intent of purging evil from this world.

Boomstick: They are the Iscariot and it's pretty clear that they mean business. Just look at how many people there are in it!

Wiz: Though none are more ruthless or threatening than the elite priest Alexander Anderson.

Boomstick: Woah, he's intimidating on so many levels. Good thing I don't go to church!

Wiz: Formerly a military soldier, he was trained in the army.

Boomstick: That was until Alucard screwed shit up and killed many soldiers.

Wiz: After the vampire saw Anderson, he put a gun in his mouth and...well, no-one knows as to whether Anderson shot himself or not.

Boomstick: Well nonetheless, Alucard let him live, deeming that he should be the human to kill him, because 'poetic justice'.

Wiz: It's more along the lines of only a human should defeat a monster, but yeah, poetic justice does some it up well.

Boomstick: And he then joined the church, probably because he knows supernatural entities don't like anything to do with religion.

Wiz: He even met the future leader of Iscariot 30 years prior to the series.

Boomstick: How has he not aged!? I swear that he just became part of the Iscariot just for eternal youth.

Wiz: Though the leader known as Enrico Maxwell was merely an insane, spiteful man who Anderson tried to raise as best he could.

Boomstick: Despite this, it only made things worse as Anderson would get enraged and question his actions later on.

Wiz: During his time at the Vatican, he trained as an expert vampire slayer, making a name for himself by killing off these supernatural entities to prepare himself for his ultimate goal: murdering Alucard.

Boomstick: He somehow carries an unlimited amount of bayonets which are in many different sizes. He has all sorts of bayonets, even having some attached to chains and others with explosives on them. Name one and he'll probably have it.

Wiz: They have been blessed and are presumably made of silver, which is extremely effective against supernatural beings.

Boomstick: Who has the time to bless so many bayonets?

Wiz: Obviously someone who has too much time on their hands.

Boomstick: True. Anyway, he also has superhuman strength and speed, along with an insane healing factor.

Wiz: Presumably the results of Iscariot's experiments, Anderson became a superhuman who was able to regenerate. Even a headshot from a ridiculously powerful custom made pistol wasn't enough to kill him, let alone knock him out.

Boomstick: Though lost limbs are a different story.

Wiz: And due to being a priest, he is able to use holy sheets of paper to purify areas and prevent unholy things from leaving the area where they're scattered.

Boomstick: He mainly pins them on walls, but although this sounds like a lot of work, it happens at a quick rate, since they fly towards a wall before the bayonets impale them into the wall.

Wiz: These sheets of paper are also able to bind opponents and enables Anderson to create a barrier for himself or teleport. However, not only does this take a few seconds, but the maximum distance that he can travel is unknown.

Boomstick: But what's worse still is that he can turn into a monster.

Wiz: After obtaining the Nail of Helena from Section III, otherwise known as the relic retrieval division, and battling against Alucard for the second time, he stabbed the nail into his heart and effectively became a tree.

Boomstick: This is due to the artefact being one of the nails used on the Cross Jesus died on. But why's it called Helena's Nail?

Wiz: The reason behind that is the person who discovered it was a woman called Helena, otherwise known as Constantine's mother.

Boomstick: Oh. Pure genious naming!

Wiz: In this form, he still retains the abilities he has when he was human, though stuff such as strength and speed have been enhanced.

Boomstick: If that wasn't enough, he can now shape shift, have control over vines and burn unholy objects. Not to mention that he doesn't even flinch at attacks anymore and his regeneration has increased.

Wiz: The only fault with this form is that the nail has to be stabbed through the heart in order to take effect. As a result, part of the nail is still sticking out of him, which if pulled out, will rip out his heart and kill him. Trying to hit it will make it even worse as the nail will root itself further into his heart, making him more powerful.

Boomstick: In his human form, he can't regenerate lost limbs, meaning that his performance could be hindered if one is severed.

Wiz: Plus, he is extremely religious, spouting out Bible verses or self-inspired lines during battle, which may go down well with vampires, but is pretty much useless against another human.

Boomstick: Though with his brute strength and guts, you'd have to be mad to oppose this Scotsman.

Alexander Anderson: If anyone doesn't love the Lord Jesus Christ, let them be accursed at His coming. God save you from your fate. Amen!

Kirei Kotomine[]

Wiz: The Holy Grail, a strange wish granting device full of mana. Once ready, it selects seven people who desire it and enables them to have Servants, which are the Spirits of past heroes, categorising them into seven classes.

Boomstick: Each master and servant duette would have to fight others and be the surviving pair to win the Grail.

Wiz: Afterwards, the master would be the one wishing, since all seven Servants would have to die to activate it.

Boomstick: But like anything else, there was a much dark twist to it, besides the obvious betrayal.

Wiz: The one to discover this was none other than Kirei, the master of Assassin during the Fourth Holy Grail War.

Boomstick: Then he was the master of Archer. It's complicated...

Wiz: Born in 1967, Kirei was raised by his father: Reisei, who was effectively a monk in the rural Japanese area known as Fuyuki.

Boomstick: Despite not descending from a lineage of magus, Kirei was born with Magic Circuits, enabling him to use magic, though it was on a pretty mediocre level.

Wiz: Reisei was pleased that his son had this and raised him to meet his expectations. Surprisingly, Kirei met them all.

Boomstick: However, it turns out he didn't love his dad, which is pretty ungrateful. If I was able to use magic and become an assassin, then I wouldn't even hesitate.

Wiz: He was an Executor in training at an early age and even chosen to be one at the age of ten.

Boomstick: But even despite his rigirous training, he didn't see anything 'beautiful' about himself, despite the praise he got from his dad. Erm, Kirei? You might want to pay more attention to your guardian!

Wiz: Well, when he discovered that he wasn't beautiful, he tried rectifying this and failed. No matter what he tried, it would fail.

Boomstick: And of course, he inevitably turned to religion for guidance. This didn't help either, since his twisted pleasures were going out of control, not to mention that he had a deep psychology.

Wiz: He held them all back, until the Fourth Holy Grail War. At this time, he was also the apprentice of Tokiomi Tohsaka, the fifth head of the Tohsaka family and one of the original founding families of the Holy Grail Wars.

Boomstick: Who he then proceeded to backstab in both senses. All because Assassin was useless and he had an OP Archer.

Wiz: He would've got the Grail as well, if not for Kiritsugu Emiya, who shot him in the heart.

Boomstick: Which you'd think would kill him.

Wiz: Well, it did. The only reason why he's still alive is because Gilgamesh bathed in the mud of the Grail, which has all sorts of curses. Instead of the Servant being affected, the Command Seals that connected him to Kirei were affected and gave him an artificial heart.

Boomstick: He would then serve as the tutor for the sixth head of the Tohsaka family, Rin, though he kind of forgot about telling her that he killed her father.

Wiz: Throughout his life, Kirei has specialised in the art of Bajiquan, which he amplified with his Magic Circuits. It focuses on damaging the inside of a person's body rather than the outside and mainly uses when at close range.

Boomstick: Even when he isn't in hand to hand combat, he can use his Black Keys, which he stores under his frock and like many characters, has an unknown amount of them.

Wiz: Even though he has been trained under an expert Mage, he could only do any art at a beginner's level. The exception being spiritual healing, which is kind of ironic, since he just wants to inflict pain on others.

Boomstick: And if that wasn't enough, he also gained Command Spells.

Wiz: He only had three from his contract with Assassin, but once he saw his dead father, he inherited all of the Command Spells that were left over from the previous wars. The amount, you guessed it, is unknown.

Boomstick: But rather than using them to call his Servant, he uses them to amplify his strength or his equipment.

Wiz: They act similar to crests which are bestowed onto the head of the family, though they are expendable and limited.

Boomstick: If that's not enough, he has a bulletproof frock and vest made of kevlar, making it durable against bullets, at least at the cost of protecting him from swords.

Wiz: Not that he gets hit often. He mastered the ability to "hear a move". This allows him to dodge bullets and keep up with fast opponents with ease, though to dodge a bullet, he must know the gun they use and predict when they'll use it. Sneak attacks with guns could damage him.

Boomstick: Hey Wiz, think fast!

(A fist impacting is heard)

Wiz: Ow, what the hell?

Boomstick: Oh I'm sorry, I thought you could "hear the move".

Wiz: I swear I'll get you back for this.

Boomstick: I'd love to see you try. Anyway, he is able to banish spirits with the Baptism Rite.

Wiz: Though his most potent weapon is actually his heart. When his heart was replaced by the mud of the Grail, Kirei got access to using the mud the Grail produced, which is cursed...To a great degree I might add.

Boomstick: It's literally composed of the wishes of others, making it as powerful as it is. Another somewhat ironic twist.

Wiz: He is able to manipulate it to a great extent, though this doesn't make him less prone to dying at the hands of others, like when Shirou stabbed him with the knife that Tokiomi gave Kirei after his graduation, which he drove into the back of Tokiomi.

Boomstick: So much irony!

Wiz: And even if the heart is destroyed, Kirei can still fight if the Grail's mud is on him, though his time is limited.

Boomstick: With this being extremely powerful, there of course is a drawback. Anything that is cursed and interacts with it won't be damaged, though the cursed item cannot damage the mud, thus meaning Kirei's heart can't be destroyed by a cursed item.

Wiz: And because of the fact that his clothes are made of kevlar, anything sharp will tear them up.

Boomstick: Despite this, Kirei can run up to 50 miles per hour without Magic enhancement, destroy a tree trunk when his arms were bound, fight against a person who could accelerate his own time and throw a Black Key in 0.3 seconds. And he can throw four in one arm in 0.7 seconds.

Wiz: Not to mention that the Grail's mud can be used in many ways, such as creating many tentacles and binding the opponent.

Boomstick: Let's just say there's no stopping this guy from trying to achieve his goals.

Kirei: This world is one of equal exchanges. Wishing for some special event means feeding on something to make it possible. Wishes will not come true if you worry about harmony.

Pre Fight[]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, let's finish the debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight[]

In the Vatican, Anderson is seen walking outside, before being called by a familiar figure.

Father Ronaldo: Anderson, I must talk with you.

Anderson: Sure Father, as long as it involves me impaling heathens!

Ronaldo: There is a Catholic branch of ours that resides in Japan, though in recent years, we've not received word from them. Of course, Reisei did pass away and his son, Kirei has taken his position, but he hasn't reported anything to us. I would like you to check it out.

Anderson: Ahh, I see, though what makes you think he's up to no good? Do you have evidence for this claim?

Ronaldo: I do. I sent a local team of priests to investigate, but it's been over a month and they haven't reported back.

Anderson: Right then, it seems that I'll have to take authority if that's the case. I believe that the church is in Fuyuki City.

Ronaldo: Yes, though if he's a traitor, then use any means to kill him.

With that, Alexander Anderson boarded a plane and relaxed, hoping the rogue priest would be a challenge for him. Meanwhile, Kirei is in the church, talking to Gilgamesh.

Kirei: Gilgamesh, did you, or did you not kill the priests?

Gilgamesh: Sure I did, they were mere mongrels after all.

Kirei: Hmph, then you've placed me in a predicament. The Vatican won't stand for this and will probably send someone to kill me. Then again, the Holy Grail's materialisation is almost complete, so as long as it appears before they arrive, I will win.

???: Well, I wouldn't be sure about that, Kirei.

Suddenly, Anderson walks into the church with a bayonet in each hand and a wide smile on his face.

Kirei: So, you've come for me already...Gilgamesh, I will take care of him.

Gilgamesh: Alright, then make sure you don't lose to him. It'd be a shame if you died before the Grail could be activated.

And with that, Gilgamesh vanishes and withdraws. Kirei then gets out four of his Black Keys as Anderson creates a cross with his bayonets.

FIGHT!

Anderson starts by running towards Kirei and slashing down his bayonets. The latter throws two Keys at Anderson, who proceeds to block them before they hit. However, while Anderson was blocking the Black Keys, Kirei jumped into the air and threw six Keys at Anderson, each imbued with his Magic Circuits. Anderson successfully blocks the last four, but the first two had lodged themselves in his legs. As Kirei rushed towards Anderson, he ripped out the Keys from his legs, quickly regenerating and attempting to slash at Kirei. However, the priest simply dodged before punching him in the abdomen. Suddenly, Anderson felt a surging pain in his body, but he was able to recover from the blow.

Kirei: I see, you are able to regenerate damaged areas, even those inside the body. No matter, the result will still be the same.

Just as Kirei said that, several bayonets were summoned, which Anderson started to throw at his opponent, but Kirei dodged them all before readying six of his Black Keys. Instead of imbuing them with his Magic Circuits, he imbued them with his Command Spells, making the blades much thicker. As Anderson threw another bayonet, it bounced off of the Black Keys. Anderson readied six bayonets before clashing his blades with Kirei's and entering a struggle for dominance.

Anderson: I expected a challenge, but this is entertaining!

Kirei: What's wrong? Am I satisfying your bloodthirst? Then allow me to repay the favor!

As he was losing the sword clash, Kirei went lower to the floor, only to sweep his leg and knock Anderson off balance. After regaining his posture, Anderson threw two of his bayonets near Kirei. Just as they passed, Kirei saw that they had explosives attached, but it was too late to dodge. As the explosives detonated and the smoke cleared, Kirei's frock is torn, but he's still standing. Ripping off the frock, Kirei starts to get serious and rushes towards Anderson. The brute tries to slash Kirei, but to no avail. Before a hitting strike could make contact, Kirei unleashed a torrent of dark energy from his body, hitting Anderson.

Anderson: What is this?

Kirei: I believe you don't know about the truth behind the Grail, do you?

Anderson: What truth?

Kirei: The Grail is made up of stored mana and once this mana is released, curses only emerge from it.

At that moment, the Grail appeared inside the church. Knowing this is the end for his opponent, Kirei fired mud at Anderson, who dodged. Kirei then continued to fire the mud at the priest, who evaded swiftly. The church was now in ruins, becoming part of the ground it was surrounded by. Just as he was about to strike Kirei down, countless tentacles appeared behind Kirei and attacked him. Barely dodging, Anderson was then hit by some of the Grail's mud. Despite his regeneration, the mud was eating away at him, slowly but surely eating away at his whole body.

Anderson: Well luckily, I just carried this with me.

After saying that, Anderson drew out a box before smashing it in his hands. Inside was the Nail of Helena, which he then proceeded to stab in his heart. In that instant, the curse stopped eating away at Andeson, and a tree monster was now in his place.

Kirei: Oh, so you still have some fight in you? In that case...

Kirei then prepared to use the full extent of the Grail's curse. As the Monster of God was closing the distance, Kirei managed to throw the full curse at it. The monster was bound by the mud before it broke out and continued to close the distance, throwing lots of bayonets at Kirei in the process. Noticing Anderson's speed had increased, Kirei not only dodged the bayonets, but threw some back. As the distance nearly closed, a vine grabbed Kirei and attempted to burn him, but did nothing as Kirei cut it off.

Despite the monster being impaled by its own bayonets, it continued and punched Kirei into the remains of a church wall. Shrugging it off, Kirei rushed towards Anderson and punched parts of his body which weren't covered in vines while having the tentacles provide support against the vines. Even though the monster was clearly taking damage, there were no signs of it letting up. Finally, after analysing its body, Kirei punched the nail and flipped back, but before he could retreat, lots of vines appeared and grabbed Kirei. Despite his tentacles trying to inflict damage, there were just too many vines. After grabbing Kirei, the monster drew him closer to its body before sticking a bayonet in his head, then cleaving it off with another. With a triumphant roar, the monster went towards the Grail and grabbed it, using its vines to absorb the mud within and around the battlefield.

K.O!

The Monster of God is seen gaining the ability to use the Grail's mud, before searching Kirei's body and absorbing his heart.

Post-Fight Analysis[]

Boomstick: Well, we know Alucard's screwed...

Wiz: Although Kirei may have had endless stamina and was younger, Anderson was on a level that he hasn't combated before. Simply put, without the powers of the Grail, Kirei wouldn't have been able to put up much of a fight.

Boomstick: To add on, while Kirei can amplify his own strength and has a much more practical throwing tool, Anderson's regeneration proved to be too much.

Wiz: Also, once Anderson became the Monster of God, it was pretty much game over for him. It might be true that cursed things can't affect anything related to the Grail, but in turn, anything related to the Grail will have little to no effect on anything cursed.

Boomstick: And while Kirei's much calmer, intelligent mind could work out plans to get around Anderson, the latter's more reckless nature was enough to keep him on his toes, always putting pressure on Kirei.

Wiz: Now, to compare their strength: while Kirei was able to take on the irregular Assassin, he had a bit of prep time. In addition, despite being an weaker Servant, Kirei wasn't able to defeat him or put him out of commission permanently. On the other hand, Anderson has been against Alucard on more than one occasion, with his prep time only being his weaponry. Facing off against this vampire more than once and surviving is a remarkable feat.

Boomstick: Even as a Magi assassin, Kirei wasn't able to take down Kiritsugu's associate and Irisviel with ease, despite one of them not even being a Mage.

Wiz: Plus, he has been known to miscalculate things before and due to the Nail being a foreign object, he would run more risk into driving the Nail in deeper than to pull it out.

Boomstick: And even if he did try to pull it out, the Monster of God wouldn't just stand idly while his weakspot was being exploited. Well, looks like the priest just couldn't cut it.

Wiz: The winner is Alexander Anderson.

Alexander Winner
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