4th What If? Death Battle by GetSkadooshed in Season 2. It features Agent 47 from Hitman and the Chameleon from Marvel Comics.
Description[]
Hitman vs Marvel! This is a duel between two bald and deadly masters of disguise for hire.
Intro[]
Wiz: A master of disguise is someone who is a professional in the act of concealing the identity of something or someone by modifying its or their appearance.
Boomstick: Some of these masters of disguise decided to take their skills and make themselves one deadly assassin for hire.
Wiz: Like Agent 47, the 47th clone of a group of genetically enhanced assassins.
Boomstick: And the Chameleon, Marvel's former soviet spy.
Wiz: I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick, and we are going to analyze their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win
Boomstick: In a Death Battle!
Agent 47[]
(Cue Hitman Codename 47 theme)
Wiz: In the 1950s, five different men of various nationalities first met while serving in the same unit of the French Foreign Legion, a military service wing of the French Army.
Boomstick: Afterwards, the five men did what any person would do after their service... build a mental institution in Romania as a cover for secret genetic experiments!
Wiz: One of the members named Dr. Ort-Meyer planned to create the world's most "perfect assassin" clones that would be physically superior to normal humans and capable of obeying orders with unquestioning loyalty and devotion. Then on September 5, 1964, the 47th clone was genetically born. The 47th clone was considered the first complete success so Dr. Ort-Meyer gave him much more attention compared to the other specimens.
Boomstick: The only problem was that 47 actually had emotions unlike the other clones, but Dr. Ort-Meyer kept him around anyway.
Wiz: 47 seemed to only show feelings towards his pet rabbit and mouse.
Boomstick: Awww, how sweet.
Wiz: At one point in his childhood 47 ran away from the asylum with clone number 6. They both took refuge in a small farming village until they were apprehended again. Many years later, 47 was the only clone remaining at the asylum. Most of them were deceased while a few of them like clone numbers 6 and 17, were living in the outside world.
Boomstick: Sometime between the years 1998 and 2000, 47 met and enrolled in the ICA, the International Contract Agency, where he assassinated many targets and became known as the world's greatest assassin.
Wiz: Being a class one type clone, Agent 47 has genetically enhanced abilities. He has heightened strength: Able to pull someone out of a window with one arm, snap people's necks effortlessly, knock armored opponents unconscious with a few strikes, and open locked metal gates just by slamming people's heads into them.
Boomstick: He is even able to strangle the large and physically powerful person, such as Tzun or kill Sanchez, a literal supersoldier with his bare hands. Huh, now that I think about it Sanchez kind of looks like Danny Trejo...
Wiz: Agent 47 has heightened speed and heightened reflexes: He apparently ran 10km (6.2 miles) in only 36 minutes and 39 seconds, reacted and dodged point blank bullets, landed two kill shots in 2.3 seconds, caught up to someone who had a six second head start, out maneuvered a jaguar, and not even high-tech security cameras can keep track of a casually-jogging 47.
Boomstick: 47 also has a slow healing factor and a high pain tolerance. His healing allowed him to recover from gunshot wounds in a few hours and is tough enough to walk around for a long amount of time even with critical injuries before passing out unconscious. Hell, he can get shot by shotguns and machine guns, and still keep on fighting.
Wiz: He woke up only a few minutes after being thrown through a wooden door by Sanchez's superhuman strength, survived being electrocuted by the amount of voltage that would kill a normal person, survived a point-blank explosion which he just got back up and pursued his target, and survived his motel room being blown up by an RPG!
Boomstick: His strongest ability however is his heightened perception.
Wiz: His instincts are so good that he can perfectly visualize just about everyone around him through floors and walls. He can see which objects are useful to his advantage and even has minor precognition.
Boomstick: Agent 47 has mastered the art of stealth. He is fully capable of quietly terminating multiple enemies in the same location without anyone even noticing. He is an expert in hand-to-hand combat, being trained ever since he was created. He can survey his surroundings and use it to his advantage. Like use a fucking fish, muffin, and a book to kill people!
Wiz: 47 is skilled enough to kill groups of armed enemies without weapons, killed the Vice President, killed Santa Claus, battled an entire club of people, killed eight elite FBI agents along with their leader while surrounded on his death bed and drugged, killed many other assassins like the Saints and the Praetorians, killed Mark Parchezzi III who was created to be an anti Agent 47, and killed eleven 48 clones who were also created to be superior than 47.
Boomstick: However, he wouldn't have done all of this without the help of his special equipment and gadgets, and he has a lot of those.
Wiz: 47's weapon of choice is his dual silverballers that can be equipped with silencers. He also has an Agency Dynamics CPW (multi-caliber submachine gun), Agency SPS 12 (Semi-automatic shotgun), revolvers, throwing knives, W2000 Sniper, Agency Tanto Knife, remotely detonated RU-AP mines, trick explosives like an exploding action figure or rubber ducky bomb.
Boomstick: As for other tools: Fiber wire for strangling people, special bullet proof vest under his suit, different types of syringes like sedative, healing, and poison that can unleash their side effects the moment you are injected, painkillers, and coins... wait what? Coins!?
Wiz: Agent 47 carries a large amount of coins that can be thrown as a distraction. It surprisingly works!
Boomstick: Of course Agent 47 is a master of disguise. He can perfectly blend in with crowds to lose enemies, hide in closets or crates, and can take the clothes and disguise of his victims.
Wiz: One time, Agent 47 was able to copy the tattoos of a famous tattoo artist after knocking him out.
Boomstick: Yet, somehow no one sees the barcode on the back of his head...
Wiz: Agent 47 has became the Agency's top assassin, having a 100% success rate. He disarmed a nuke, saved the President, infiltrated heavily guarded locations like the White House and terrorist bases, and made most of his targets' death look like an accident.
Boomstick: Hell, the Agency considers him to be a huge threat if he ever went rogue.
Wiz: You know your reputation proceeds you when even the FBI and CIA deny that such a person exists.
Agent 47: "Always knew I didn't belong in this world. I wasn't made for this. But I'll never forget- those who betrayed me, and those who never failed my trust. I'll be carrying nothing from Gontranno but this lesson: never trust anyone and rely on your instincts."
The Chameleon (Marvel)[]
Wiz: Spider-Man is one of the most iconic superheroes of all time.
Boomstick: And as one of the most iconic superheroes he also has one of the best rogues gallery. So many memorable villains: Rhino, Electro, Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Kraven the Hunter, and more.
Wiz: Speaking of Kraven the Hunter, he had a half-brother named Dmitri Smerdyakov who was greatly despised in the family. Kraven was abusive towards him, his father hated seeing his face, and his mother considered him to be a humiliation.
Boomstick: So he tried impressing them by using his great impersonation skills on his neighbors and friends. Eventually, Dmitri's skills would soon draw the attention of the Communist countries. They took him in and trained him to become a spy. Now calling himself The Chameleon, he was a professional at infiltrating heavily guarded locations and concealing his identity using strange gadgets.
Wiz: Chameleon eventually arrived in New York City, where he encountered the wall-crawling Spider-Man. Seeing Spider-Man as an obstacle to his objectives, the Chameleon attempted to frame him but ended up failing. Later, the Chameleon teamed up with his brother Kraven. Still hoping to be accepted by his brother, the Chameleon tried to prove his superiority over Kraven by going on missions and battling many different superheroes.
Boomstick: To do this, the Chameleon got his hands on some advanced tech. Originally, Chameleon wore special masks that could be formed to look like a copy of someone's face. It was only until he was injected with a special serum that allowed him to take on the full appearance of any person at will.
Wiz: He also wore a special fabric on his clothes. It was made of memory material which responds to his nerve impulses and can change to be what ever costume he wishes to be. Around his waist is a computer belt. This belt has three functions: A video scanner to record a person’s overall appearance, memory banks that can store hundreds of images, and can alter the appearance of his clothing.
Boomstick: Later on, when it was revealed he was the brother of Kraven, it was also revealed that he took a special serum that augmented his strength and endurance. This allowed him to survive several blows by Spider-Man and getting thrown through a concrete wall.
Wiz: However, his strength and endurance did not increase to Superhuman levels like Captain America or Kraven the Hunter. After listening to the cries and begging of his victims, Chameleon was also able to alter his pitch to sound exactly alike them. A terrifying talent if you ask me.
Boomstick: Chameleon carries a laser gun, dual pistols, or an assault rifle from time to time. He has a small air pistol that fires darts containing special liquids that can knock his victims unconscious for several hours, even the likes of Spider-Man. He also has a poison dart gun that could kill his opponents in 10 minutes when injected.
Wiz: He has smoke bombs and knockout gas bombs that emits a cloud of potent anesthetic that makes victims fall asleep for 1-10 hours.
Boomstick: Lastly, he has a cyanide gun that was powerful enough to destroy the roof of a small building and he can fire bio-electric blasts out of his suit to stun enemies.
Wiz: Chameleon has fooled the Hulk when impersonating Rick Jones, fooled Spider-Man into believing that he is Harry Osborn and that the baby he is supposed to protect is dead, impersonated J. Jonah Jameson for a week, tricked Wrecker into believing he was Loki, and mimic Spider-Man's voice so perfectly that he was able to trick many people in New York into believing Spider-Man was a criminal. His disguises are so good that he has tricked Kraven (Who has comparable senses to Wolverine) and Spider-Man even through his Spider-Sense.
Boomstick: Chameleon has been able to sneak inside S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters, infiltrated the Intelligencia (a team consisting of the world's smartest super-villains), blocked Mentallo from entering his mind, and became a major crime boss in New York City as well as a threat to Kingpin.
Wiz: He fought Spider-Man multiple times, fought Kraven the Hunter, dodged attacks from Hammerhead who was charging at full speed, fought Daredevil, fought Iron-Man with the help of Kraven, and overpowered Nick Fury. However, Chameleon relies on his disguises and tech to get the job done. If he starts to lose, Chameleon will begin to panic and quickly change form to confuse his opponent or just make a run for it.
Boomstick: Like the time Spider-Man became bloodlusted and was able to easily see right through Chameleon's Kraven disguise. As a result, Chameleon had a pretty nasty beatdown. In a fight against Daredevil when the Chameleon started to lose he would impersonate the nearest person, but that didn't work out as Daredevil easily knew which one he was.
Wiz: Chameleon also lost to Ant-Man, Punisher, and his worst defeat yet: Tricked and knocked out by Aunt May...
Boomstick: Still, there's a reason why Chameleon was Spider-Man's first super-villain.
Chameleon: "I am invisible because I am the same thing you look at every dreadful, dull day. I am the day before you realize everything has gone horribly, horribly wrong. I am the Chameleon."
Intermission[]
Wiz: The combatants are set. Now let's end this debate once and for all....
Boomstick: IN A DEATH BATTLE!
DEATH BATTLE[]
In a plane, Agent 47 flips open his briefcase and retrieves a tablet. He turns the tablet on and waits for briefing.
Diana Burnwood: Good morning, 47. We have a lead on the wealthy co-owner of Oscorp named Norman Osborn. ICA research has led us to New York City, where the target can be found headquartered in Oscorp Tower in Manhattan. Ever since he was a young boy, Osborn was always obsessed with wealth and power. Eventually, he and a friend built Oscorp, an American multinational corporation. We have also gained information that Osborn is planning to take control over New York by building a team consisting of superpowered individuals. He must be terminated, good luck 47.
Hours after the briefing, Agent 47 sneaks into Oscorp Tower by disguising himself as a security guard. After exploring the building he eventually comes across Osborn who is being escorted to his private office where he would be alone. 47 glances at a nearby ventilation shaft and climbs in. Osborn enters his office and notices his chair facing away from him. Osborn closes the door as the chair turns around.
Agent 47: Hello Mr. Osborn. Your science projects are cancelled.
47 pulls out and aims his silverballer.
Norman: The Hitman, the Silent Assassin. Hhm, I thought you were a myth?
All of a sudden Norman's voice changes to a Russian accent.
???: Unfortunate for you, Norman isn't here right now.
47 is confused as Norman's body shifts and changes, revealing the Chameleon.
Agent 47: Who are you?
Chameleon: The last person you'll ever see.
Agent 47 slowly pushes on his gun's trigger.
Agent 47: Where is Osborn.
Chameleon: That information is classified.
FIGHT![]
Agent 47 pulls out his secondary silverballer while Chameleon takes out his own dual pistols. The two open fire on one another. Bullets trash the office; pieces of paper, wood, and other objects fly around. 47 leaps over the table and kicks Chameleon through the office door.
Security guards: FREEZE! Put your hands in the air!
Chameleon and Agent 47 are surrounded by security guards. They both put their guns down as they begin to get arrested. However, Chameleon quickly turns around and fires a bio-electric blast at the guards while Agent 47 headbutts a security guard in the face, breaking his nose. 47 picks up one of his silverballers and eliminates the guards with pin-point accuracy to the head. 47 and Chameleon engage in a Mexican standoff.
Chameleon: You'll make one hell of a challenge.
Agent 47: Can't say the same for you.
Chameleon and 47 start shooting at each other, but their bullet proof vests protect them from bullets. Chameleon throws a smoke bomb onto the ground and disappears as bullets miss him. 47 then uses his instincts and locates Chameleon heading towards some elevators. Before he pursuits, a janitor accidentally stumbles upon him. 47 grabs a baton from one of the security guards and throws it at the janitor. Meanwhile, Chameleon shape-shifts into a scientist. He exits the elevator and finds himself in a massive laboratory.
Chameleon: Osborn should've paid me more!
Chameleon quickly blends in with the other scientists hoping to ambush 47. The second elevator opens and a bald janitor walks out. Chameleon walks up without drawing attention, and shoots a knockout dart into the janitor's neck. The janitor stumbles around and falls to the ground. Chameleon looks at the back of the janitor's head.
Chameleon: Huh? I heard you were suppose to have a barcode on the back of your head?
Agent 47: That's cause you got the wrong guy.
Chameleon realizes his mistake and quickly rolls on the ground, dodging a headshot by 47 and instead shot in the shoulder. Both assassins shoot their guns out of their hands and engage in hand-to-hand combat. Chameleon punches 47 in the stomach and goes in for an uppercut. 47 blocks the punch and strikes Chameleon in the jaw. 47 kicks Chameleon onto his knees and drives his foot hard into his shoulder.
Chameleon: AHH!
Chameleon clenches his shoulder that is now dislocated. He then fires a bio-electric blast that stuns 47 and knocks him into some computers. Using this time, Chameleon slams his shoulder back into its place. 47 throws a RU-AP mine at the ceiling, which explodes and causes rubble to fall down. However, Chameleon rolls out of the way. He retrieves his cyanide gun and shoots several times. 47 quickly reacts by ducking under a shot and then runs in a zig zag movement to dodge the rest. Chameleon's gun runs out of ammo so he puts it away. 47 jumps into the air and attempts to spin kick Chameleon in the head. Chameleon blocks the attack and by grabbing 47 by the leg, slams him on the ground. 47 then kicks Chameleon away to gain distance.
Chameleon: Lets see how well you can do when fighting yourself.
Chameleon changes his body into 47 and even changes his voice to sound just like him.
Chameleon: Well?
Agent 47: Your ability to impersonate people is interesting, but I've already faced many clones of myself.
Chameleon: Curses! I will not be denied!
Chameleon quickly reloads and fires his cyanide gun while Agent 47 throws his second RU-AP mine. The impact between the two creates a big explosion, which knocks 47 and Chameleon off their feet. 47 then uses his instincts to locate Chameleon through the smoke and fire. He takes out his knife and throws it. The knife flies through the smoke and surprises Chameleon by stabbing him in the neck.
Chameleon: Kak ty smeyesh!
Agent 47 walks up to Chameleon. He panics as blood gushes out from his throat and mouth. Chameleon's body rapidly shifts into different and unknown people. 47 then drags Chameleon up to a window and puts him in the perfect position.
Agent 47: You lasted longer than others, but that's only cause I let you.
Agent 47 Spartan kicks Chameleon out of the window.
In slow motion Chameleon's body falls past each floor. Workers at Oscorp sprint towards the building's windows. They scream, point, and yell as the body falls past them. Chameleon watches 47 quickly dissapear from his view and his sight is covered in darkness. Eventually, Chameleon crashes dead onto a car, smashing the top of it into pieces. Agent 47 turns around and makes his way towards an exit.
KO!
Diana Burnwood: Agent 47, did you eliminate the target?
Agent 47: He wasn't here, it was some imposter. I think I'm going to be here for a while.
Diana Burnwood: Well luckily I've already set a reservation for one of New York City's best hotels.
Agent 47 continues to walk away, not noticing someone watching him from one of the smaller nearby buildings. The mysterious man puts away his binoculars and takes out his phone.
Scorpian: Hey boss! Um, we lost Chameleon...
Norman: I know.
Norman reverses some security footage and pauses. He zooms in on 47 and sighs.
Norman: Looks like we have a problem, and I plan to fix it.
Result[]
Boomstick: There's something so cool about gun fights and explosions.
Wiz: Even though he lost, Chameleon did have some advantages over Agent 47.
Boomstick: Like how he is way better at disguising himself. Chameleon can actually change into his disguises at will and can mimic people's voices. Meanwhile, 47 has to take time putting his disguises on and can still be identified via his barcode and specific facial features.
Wiz: Chameleon also has better tech in his weapons, such as laser guns, bio-electric blasts, computer belt, and etc. Though 47 beats him by having a much bigger arsenal.
Boomstick: 47's trick weapons: Rubber ducky bomb, action figure bomb, cell phone bomb, and more! Should surely surprise and trick Chameleon.
Wiz: I'd also say they are both pretty equal in intelligence except for the fact that Chameleon has been tricked and defeated by Aunt May. As for other categories, Agent 47 should take them. He has way more experience as he has been training ever since he was created. He is much stronger as shown when he can open locked metal gates by smashing people's heads into them and his punches were able to hurt the supersoldier Sanchez. 47 is faster as he was able to dodge point-blank bullets and security cams. Lastly, he has that high-pain tolerance that allows him to survive situations much worse than Chameleon. Remember, Chameleon while also taking a special serum only augments his human capabilities and does not increase them to superhuman levels.
Boomstick: Agent 47 has also been much more successful in killing his targets than Chameleon has. He has killed eleven 48 clones that were created to be his superior, killed Santa Claus, and killed many terrorists, criminals, and assassins.
Wiz: Chameleon has mostly never beaten any of his enemies without help. He had to use a nearby shrink ray to defeat Hulk, had help from Kraven to fight Iron Man, and it has already been established that Spider-Man holds back when battling his enemies so Chameleon can't really beat him in a straight 1v1 fight without using some trick or backup plan.
Boomstick: Chameleon heavily relies on his disguises because if someone can see through it or catch him in his true form then he is in big trouble. While this can apply to Agent 47 as well, he has already shown to do pretty great without them; going full John Wick mode and managing to get the job done.
Wiz: The winner is Agent 47.
Next Time![]
