Characters Used:
Sonic the Hedgehog (...)
X (Mega Man)
Deku (My Hero Academia)
Spider-Man (Marvel Comics)
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Sonic: *Gently taps table*
X: *Taps back*
Deku: What are they doing?
Spider-Man: Morse code.
Sonic: *Aggressively taps table*
X: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK
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Sonic: Have you seen a person named 'X' around here?
Deku: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Spider-Man: It looks fine to me?
Deku: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!
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Sonic: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
X: What?
Deku: That you're a child.
Spider-Man: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
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Sonic: Yo is Spider-Man sleeping or dead?
X: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Deku: Yeah, so did I.
Spider-Man: Okay first of all, fuck you-
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Sonic, X, and Deku are sitting on a bench
Spider-Man: Why do you guys look so sad?
Sonic: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Spider-Man sits down*
X: The bench is freshly painted.
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Sonic: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
X:
Deku:
Spider-Man:
Everyone Else At Sonic’s Surprise Birthday Party:
X: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
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Sonic: Dammit, X!
X: What?! It wasn’t me!
Sonic: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Deku!
Deku: Not me either.
Sonic: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Spider-Man: *whistles*
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Sonic: X isn’t answering their phone
Deku: I’ll call
Sonic: Spider-Man and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
X: Hello?
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Sonic: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
X: Plane tickets?
Deku: Concert tickets?
Spider-Man: Prostitution?
Sonic, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
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Sonic, banging on the door: X! Open up!
X: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Deku: No, they meant-
Spider-Man: Let them finish.
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Sonic: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
X: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Deku: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
Spider-Man: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Sonic: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.
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Sonic: *Screams*
X: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Deku: Should we do something?
Spider-Man: No, I want to see who wins.
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Sonic: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
X: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Deku: I personally was created in a lab.
Spider-Man: I just straight up spawned lol.
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Sonic: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
X: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Sonic: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING DEKU WITH ME
Spider-Man, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
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Sonic: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Sonic and X, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Deku: Our turn, Spider-Man! One, two, three- vanilla!
Spider-Man, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.