Wiz: Ah, the Mushroom Kingdom. A place of peace, love, quiet, and joy.
Boomstick: Ah, boring! Move aside princess, as the king of the Koopas has arrived!
Wiz: Being one of the seven legendary star children, Bowser was destined for greatness. And when wise Magikoopa Kamek took him under his wing, it was clear that Bowser was going to one day rule a mighty kingdom.
Boomstick: But like all great villains, there was someone who was stopping him from having his fun, Princess Peach. He was never going to be able to get his time to shine, not while she was ruling the Mushroom Kingdom.
Wiz: And so over time he became infatuated with her, and eventually brought her to another castle… Then another, and another, and an-You get the idea.
Boomstick: And this went on for like 40 years, and every time he got stopped by that pesky plumber Mario!
Wiz: But Bowser never goes down without a fight, and over the years he's gained many new abilities to aid him in his efforts to defeat Mario. He can breathe fire, throw hammers, spit out meteors, reanimate his undead corpse, and even control the forces of nature itself to aid him in battle.
Boomstick: Not only that, but he also has many forms of dark magic. From the very beginning he was using this dark magic to turn Toads into bricks, and now he can duplicate himself, warp through reality, and even travel through freakin’ time! And of course, he can ruin every single game of Mario Party! If I had a nickel for every time this turtle screwed me over in Mario Party, we wouldn't have had the need to do a Kickstarter in the first place!
Wiz: Even without his magical powers, Bowser is a force to be reckoned with. He's been shown to be able to survive falling into a black hole multiple times, and once punched a castle so hard that it flew into orbit. Considering how Yoshi was able to punt Raphael the Raven so hard he turned into a constellation, there is definitely more to Bowser’s power then we’ve seen so far.
Boomstick: Raphael’s death will forever buff the crap out of Mario scaling, they did NOT know what they were doing.
Wiz: No, no they did not. Moving on, Bowser has been shown to be able to use the very power ups Mario uses against him! Putting tanooki tails on his troops, and he especially loves the Cat Bell, turning him into Meowser.
Boomstick: Ugh, I hate that name so much.
Wiz: Aside from kidnapping princesses and roleplaying as a cat, Bowser loves to steal magical artifacts for himself. Such as the Wonder Flower, which can mold reality itself like clay, or the Dream Stone, which can make any wish become a reality.
Boomstick: And then there's his most famous stealing, the Power Stars and Grand Stars. Each of these hold immense power, as they are related to the space goddess Rosalina herself.
Wiz: Considering baby Lumas can grow up to become whole galaxies, we can assume each Power and especially Grand Star has immense power hidden within. And when the complete power of a grand star was unleashed all at once, it created a black hole that ended up destroying the entire Mario Universe, twice!
Boomstick: He's been hoarding riches, power stars, treasures, and power ups for years, and has even built multiple floating castles fashioned after his own face! Yeah, he's got a big ego if you couldn't tell.
Wiz: And it's understandable why he does, as he successfully took over most of the known universe. And this ego led him to claim having a 4-digit IQ, which is cute, as he's known to put death traps in his own backyard on multiple occasions.
Boomstick: But despite his massive ego and clumsiness, his charisma and leadership is what got him the most feared army in the Mushroom Kingdom; The Koopa Troop!
Wiz: Goombas, Koopas, the Troopas, and the others all make up the infantry. They are the frontlines of the Troop, always first in, and definitely first out.
Boomstick: Piranha Plants, Bloopers, and Lakitus use their environment to their advantage. Whether it be on land, in water, or up in the sky, nowhere is safe from the Koopa Troop.
Wiz: And that's only the tip of the tip of the iceberg, there's so many more members that we’d literally be here all year to name them out. So, Boomstick, get to it!
Boomstick: Oh come on, fiiine. We got Cheep Cheeps, Hammer Bros, Thwomps, Pokeys, Spikes, Wigglers, Buzzy Beetles, Bob-Ombs, Boos..........
As Boomstick continues to list them off, Wiz decides to wrap the preview up.
Wiz: Join us soon to see what the great demon king Ganon has at his disposal, and keep an eye out for the battle itself!
