User blog:MacabreHarmony/ERB: Satoru Iwata vs Steve Jobs

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

SATORU IWATA

VS

STEVE JOBS

BEGIN!

Iwata:

Hello, there Jobs. I am Iwata.

And I'm gonna kick you to the curb, just like your father.

Please understand that I'm coming directly towards you.

You need to learn to be like me, and not be rude.

I'm the prez of Nintendo!

I'll be staying there to the end-o!

You have no sympathy from me Steve.

Because, you're not my friend-o.

And before you start to get mad, and have your disses unleash.

Just remember you took some inspiration from me.

Jobs:

Sure, the iPhone took some of the DS' ideas.

But I'll send your boy Mario back to the Brooklyn pizzerias!

I'll swipe you off the screen!

U won't step up to my machines!

Our world would be so different without me!

That Wii U Gamepad?

More like an iPad ripoff! (Oh!)

I'll smack away your Link, Pikachu, and Mario!

Miyamoto made way better innovations then you!

While you sit there turning Wii U into Wii Poo!

I'm sorry Satoru. But I'm just the better man.

And I'll end this Toy Story with the back of my hand!

Iwata:

Do you want to play a game Jobs?

This one's fun!

There's no questing, or having to run!

You just fly around like a glider,

So you better be prepared to face Balloon Fighter!

Balloon Fighter:

Oh! Coming in fast, kickin' the butt of this lazy slob!

I'm great! You gotta give me a hand, Jobs!

You don't do anything yourself! Wozinak does all the work!

And then you rip him off! What a stupid little jerk!

Ooh! Gonna take a bite out of your Apple!

Your company's so bad, should be renamed Crapple!

You might be a Pixar Star, but I'll still knock you to the ground!

Your head's up in space Steve! You should keep it Earthbound!

Jobs:

So you want to bring in partners?

I guess I'll bring mine over near me!

You better be listening,

Because I'm bringing in Siri!

Siri:

Hello, Iwata. How are you doing?

I'm pretty sure that cancer of yours, is life ruining.

This time you can't make me shut up!

I'll just be around and,

I'll send you into space, call me HAL 9000!

You have no chance of, beating Steve.

So I guess I'll put that into my, data memory.

I have you in my contacts, so I won't forget,

The time I shot my disses, into your head!

Iwata:

Your machines are impressive, but you still are a bore.

Even the Wii U's better than the iPhone 4.

But there's no need to make any more rapping plans.

Because I've moved onto a better life.

I'm in heaven's hands.

Jobs:

I never would've expected this, I mean, this can't be happening!

How did this happen? It's just so saddening!

Well, I guess I know what losing a friend's like now.

My final words here are, wow, wow, wow.

Who Won?

Who's Next?

You Decide!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!