Illithid vs Malamar

Description
Dungeons and Dragons vs Pokemon! The Mind Squids enter the ring. Who comes out on top?

Interlude
Wiz: The ocean, the most mysterious part of our world, even though it takes up most of our planet, there is very little we know about it.

Boomstick: And what we do know is really fucked up!

Wiz: In the ocean, one of the many mysterious species is the squid, these creatures occasionally have special abilities, for example: the manipulation of the mind.

Boomstick: Illithid, the Mind Flyer.

Wiz: And Malamar, the Overturning Pokemon. For this assesment, we will be using the leader of the Illithid race, with the abilities all Illithid's have. And using a Malamar with all naturally learned moves.

Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Illithid
Wiz: In the World of Underdark, there are many horrifying species, but few are as feared as the Illithids.

Boomstick: And for good reason too!

Wiz: The Mind flyers are feared for their ability to affect the minds of their opponents.

'''Boomstick: Yeah, giant monsters with claws and fire breath are scary enough, but these things can fuck with you without even touching you! How the hell do these things even come about anyways? It looks like the result of a three-way between Davy Jones, Harry Potter and Mother Brain!'''

Wiz: Saying that this species' origin is messed up, would be the understatement of the century. The Illithids start out as small tadpoles that eventually infect the human brain, like some sort of tumor, they grow inside the brain of the victem, altering their appearance and completely taking over their body.

'''Boomstick: ... Excuse me for a second. (barfing sounds) That is disgusting! (Continiues to barf)'''

Wiz: Boomstick, not the rug! Josiline just cleaned that!

'''Boomstick: Ok, I'm better now... NO I'M NOT!! (Continiues to barf)'''

(Some time later)

'''Boomstick: Ok... I got it all out.'''

Wiz: Are you sure?

Boomstick: Positive.

Wiz: Ok then, let's move on. The Illithids have a multitude of abilities, such as the powerful mind blast to affect a large group of foes at once, the mind blast is a 60 foot 20 meter cone that stuns anyone caught in it temporarily.

Malamar
Wiz: Imagine this; You are in the Kalos region, you hear rumors that some Pokemon and people have gone missing near an abandoned research center, you go to check out the scene, you see a flash, and then nothing...

Boomstick: If that happened, then you probably had a run-in with Malamar.

Wiz: Malamar is a Dark/Psychic Pokemon native to the Kalos region.

'Boomstick: Being a part Dark type, Malamar is immune to Psychic type attacks, (shows Malamar getting hit by Psycho Cut) ahem, I said Malamar is immune to Psychic type attacks, (shows two Malamar getting hit by Psycho Cut) I SAID'' MALAMAR IS IMMUNE TO PSYCHIC ATTACKS!!!! (Shows Malamar getting hit by Psybeam and Thunderbolt and not taking any damage) Thank you.'''

Wiz: Malamar has average stats for the most part, with its average HP, its above average Attack, its average Defence, its below average Special attack, its average Special Defence, and its average speed.

Stats: '''Boomstick: Now you'd think that low Special attack stat would be a problem for a Psychic type right? (Lex Luthor: WRONG!) Malamar has plenty of Physical attacks to back up its fairly high attack stat. He has Reversal, a move that does more damage the less HP he has. Psycho Cut, a powerful Psychic type, Physical attack with a high Crit. chance. Night Slash, which is basically a Dark type version of Psycho Cut. Slash, a Normal type version of both of those. '''
 * HP: 86
 * Attack: 92
 * Defence: 88
 * Special Attack: 68
 * Special Defence: 75
 * Speed: 73
 * Stat Total: 482

Moves: Wiz: Psychic can allow Malamar to alter the environment in any concievable way, similar to telepathy. Reflect halves the Physical damage to it for a short while, and Light Screen is the same, but for Special, or ranged, attacks. Swagger confuses the opponent and raises their attack, leaving it with a 50% chance of attacking themself and doing increased damage. Psybeam, a damaging Psychic attack that has a 10% chance of confusing the target. Payback will do double damage if used immediately after the opponent does damage to it. Foul Play uses the opponents attack stat rather than its own to determine how much damage it does. It also has its signature move Topsy-Turvy, which flips over any stat changes done to the target, and its ability Contrary automatically flips over any stat changes to itself. It takes full advantage of this ability with Superpower, a move than normally lowers the user's own Attack and Defence, but with Contrary, it raises its Attack and Defence. According to the Pokedex, Malamar have the most compelling Hypnotic Powers of ANY Pokemon!
 * Reversal
 * Tackle
 * Peck
 * Constrict
 * Reflect
 * Foul Play
 * Swagger
 * Psywave
 * Topsy-Turvy
 * Hypnosis
 * Psybeam
 * Switcheroo
 * Payback
 * Light Screen
 * Pluck
 * Psycho Cut
 * Slash
 * Night Slash
 * Superpower

'Boomstick: Since this thing has more powerful Hypnosis abilities than date rapist Hypno, whose name is literally based off of Hypnosis, 5,000 I.Q. Alakazam, and most powerful Psychic type Mewtwo, that says a lot''! '''

Wiz: His hypnosis abilities come from a trait possessed by some species of squid that can flash lights on their body to either repel predators, or attract prey. The pattern on their stomach, after they light it up, compells the victem to obey Malamar.

'''Boomstick: Damn, that'd be cool, making people do what you want just by flashing a light in their eyes! Hey Wiz, hand me that flash light.'''

Wiz: Sure.

'''Boomstick: You will get me a beer! (Flashing the light in his eyes)'''

Wiz: Boomstick, stop, that's really annoying!

'''Boomstick: Dammit. But Malamar is really good with this power and abuses it to the fullest extent! As he used his hypnotic abilities to hypnotize a large group of Pokemon, including Ash's Pikachu, to be his personal army, and hypnotized an Officer Jenny to pose as "Madame X" the leader, when he was in control all along! Oh, and when Ash and his friends tried to get Pikachu back, he hypnotized them one by one, until Ash and Meowth were the only ones left, and then had Pikachu attack them! Oh, and the thing that Ash usually does to snap Pikachu out of mind control didn't work!'''

Wiz: He and his two Malamar partners used their hypnotic abilities to force a group of scientists to create a machine that would alter the planet into an environment perfectly suited for them. Which almost worked, but thanks to the power of deus. ex croissant, Ash and his friends, along with Team Rocket and the same Officer Jenny that was forced into acting as Madame X were able to stop the Overturning Pokemon, but the three were able to escape, and they will return...

Boomstick: But, despite all the awesomeness of this cool calamari, he still has his down falls, as a Dark/Psychic type, he takes x2 damage from Fairy Type attacks, and x4 damage from Bug type attacks.

Wiz: His lack of Speed and Special attack can be crippling, as he has no way to raise them without the opponent trying to lower them. Also, he has very limited variety, with only 5 types of attacks at his disposal. (Normal, Flying, Psychic, Dark, Fighting)

Boomstick: Even with those faults, you still do not want to cross this Psychic Squid without being 110% prepared!

(Meowth cuts down a planet figurine and it falls above Malamar untill he stops it with Psychic and throws it, while Meowth and Ash escape. Malamar screeches as the scene changes.)

Pre-fight Prep
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, its time to end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A SQUID DEATH BATTLE!