Board Thread:Wiki Management/@comment-27150398-20180211135035/@comment-3463132-20180707052804

Vrokorta wrote: MadMaxPyro - I would comment on your fights, but I read both of these. If no one else comments on it, I'll probably come back and do it anyways to keep the thread from dying.

Anyways, yeah, I made that fight REALLY early on, so I can understand me doing something hypocritical like that. Might go back and tweak it a bit. I personally wanted to try and comment only on fights I know since... I really can't tell if research is done correctly if I'm not familiar with the characters. Likewise I can't understand if what they're doing in battle is viable or not.

That said, I'll give Madmax's Yarn battle a go since I've at least played Kirby's Epic Yarn (didn't like it).

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The recaps are brief but do list every power-up the forms have, which is good as the reader needs to know what them transforming in the battle means. I imagine they come across as so brief because the power-ups are very simple and don't come with a great deal of stuff to talk about. Same with the games the characters come from.

As for the battle itself, less Yarn, use more pronouns or other ways of describing the characters. The word 'yarn' is used 259 times in the page, 200 of them are in the Deathbattle or Results section. You can use descriptive text instead of repeated names, "The Pink Warrior" "The Green Dinosaur" for examples of Kirby and Yoshi respectively.

You did manage to pack a lot of forms into the battle, so good on you for that, even if as you said; some of them really aren't meant for combat. You made the fight fairly entertaining to read despite both characters lacking much substance in their Yarn incarnations and that's not easy.

I haven't completed any season 4 fights except for Mulan vs Tarzan so I suppose I will link that one

https://deathbattlefanon.wikia.com/wiki/Mulan_vs_Tarzan