Santa Claus VS The Flash

Description
Tis the season as these two extremely fast red-clad heroes go head to head! Who will come out on top in this Christmas-themed matchup?

Interlude
Wiz: Speed, the measurement of how fast animals, people and objects are.

'''Boomstick: And these two red-wearing heroes are both extremely fast, using their speedy gifts for the good of mankind. Santa Claus, the obese childhoood icon who lives in the North Pole.'''

Wiz: And Barry Allen, The Flash.

Boomstick: He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick!

Wiz: And it’s our job to find out who would win a Christmas-themed DEATH BATTLE!

Santa Claus
Author’s Note: I will be using Composite Santa to make the fight more interesting.

Wiz: The fictional being known as Santa Claus was based off of the Christian Saint, Saint Nicholas but there are several conflicting origin stories on how Santa became the man he is today. Some say he was raised by an Elf Queen whilst others say he was raised by a fairy...

'''Boomstick: Wiz, this is fucking Santa Claus we’re talking about here! He doesn’t need an origin story!!'''

Wiz: Regardless of his origins, Santa Claus is a being who lives in the North Pole and owns a factory there where his trustworthy elves make toys for all the well-behaved children of the world and on Christmas Eve he travels around the world on his magical sleigh delivering presents and coal to all children.

'''Boomstick: Whilst also stealing their cookies and milk! Also Wiz, why does Santa not live in the South Pole instead? There’s lots of cute penguins there and he wouldn’t have to be worried about being attacked by all the Polar Bears that live in the North Pole.'''

Wiz: Well, the North Pole is generally more warmer than the South Pole so I guess that could be one reason why he decided to live there.

'''Boomstick: Santa is strong enough to lift his sack which is filled with toys for every good person in the Universe, can catch and lift a school bus filled with children, was able to face off against the forces of Apokolips and was able to fight on par with the likes of Lobo and Grey Hulk who are both planet-busters. '''

Wiz: Santa is fast enough to keep up with Lobo (who in turn can keep up with beings like Superman), dodge Darkseid’s Omega Beams as well as blows from a mech suit and is able to go inside the houses of every child in the world, place their presents/lumps of coal neatly under their tree, eat their cookies and milk, and then leave to the same thing in every other house all in the span of a single day.

'''Boomstick: He’s also durable enough to tank artillery blasts, lasers and hits from Lobo and can survive going at 30,000 times the speed of sound in his sleigh, but to protect him from harm in the first place he has his Spider-Sense Santa-Sense which alerts him to any danger that is heading his way so that he can avoid it. '''

Wiz: He is able to teleport into people’s houses and fly without his reindeer whilst emitting sparkles from his body. Additionally, he can turn himself and other objects invisible so that people can’t catch him and can erase people’s memories if anyone discovers him. He’s also able to seemingly watch over everyone in the world and sense whether or not they are sleeping..

(Boomstick interrupts)

Boomstick: Like some sort of creep!

Wiz: Ahem, anyways, Santa can also slow down time to help him deliver all his presents on time, can summon gifts from his sack, can fire lasers from his eyes similar to Superman’s Heat Vision and is skilled with magic to the point where he was able to transform the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants into inanimate toys, teleport the X-Men away, erase both groups' memories of his involvement, and then gifted a city with snowfall, which is pretty impressive!

'''Boomstick: Alongside his vast array of abilities, Santa also lots of equipment on hand to help him in his travels and in battle, including his sleigh which is driven by his 8 trusty reindeer Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder/Donner, and Blixem and allows Santa to travel at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. Rudolph the red-nose reindeer can also be summoned to assist Santa if he requires assistance. '''

Wiz: He also has his sack which can be used as a melee weapon if necessary, has two swords which is he quite skilled at wielding, can travel anywhere by speaking to snow globes and smashing them to create portals to any location and can summon Yetis to fight for him using these portals.

'''Boomstick: There’s also his magic necklace which can grant him any wish he desires, his explosive presents which can obviously cause large explosions and his mech suit which is armed with firearms, has a tough metal exterior and helped him to fight against Lobo. But, the most powerful tool in his arsenal is the Infinty Gauntlet, because you know Santa out of all fucking people has to get the Infinty Gaunlet! '''

Wiz: When he puts on the Gaunlet, Santa is able to wield the 6 Infinty Stones which essentially allow the user to become Nigh-Omnipotent when they are used as a unit. The Power Gem increases the user’s strength and stamina to infinite levels and allows them to replicate any superpower, the Time Gem allows the user to travel through time, control the aging of beings, trap foes in unending loops of time and can allow them to become Omnipresent. The Space Gem allows the user to control all of space according to their will enabling them to teleport anywhere in the universe and increase their speed, the Reality Gem allows users to break the laws of Physics, resurrect the dead and warp reality on a universal scale, the Soul Gem can control the souls of both living and dead beings and attack them and the Mind Gem allows the user to read and control all minds in the universe simultaneously. However, it should be noted that wielding the Gaunlet makes Santa go mad with power and lose his sanity so this can affect the way in which he uses it.

'''Boomstick: Santa is nice and friendly towards every being he encounters and dislikes violence and hurting other beings. He’s also really smart to the point where he knowledgeable of everyone in the universe and all of their deeds including alien races. Additionally, he can come with good strategies on how to enter people’s houses and give them presents and come up with a list of every being in the universe which states whether or not they’ve naughty or nice. Damn, that sure as hell must take a while! '''

Wiz: Santa has managed to deliver presents/coal to every person on the planet each year in a single night, was able to get a hold of the Infinty Gaunlet, managed to defeat the Boogey Man alongside the guardians and was able to walk right into Darkseid’s base, hand him a lump of coal and escape from completely unscathed.

'''Boomstick: But, despite all his hilarious feats, Santa isn’t exactly flawless. He’s pretty old and fat, is pretty susceptible to being kidnapped, doesn’t really have much fighting experience and is very reluctant unless he’s REALLY pushed. '''

Wiz: However, with his speed, Christmas magic and arsenal, Santa has more than earned his place as one of the world’s biggest Christmas icons!

Santa Claus: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

The Flash
Wiz: Barry Allen was born to Henry and Nora Allen and had a happy childhood..

(Boomstick interrupts)

'''Boomstick: That is until the Superhero dead parents cliche decided to knock on his door which is resulted in his mother being murdered and his Dad being wrongly committed of the crime. Hey Wiz, if Flash’s Dad didn’t commit the murder then who did? '''

Wiz: Well, turns out Flash’s future nemesis, Professor Zoom had travelled back in time to kill Barry’s mother in order to get revenge on him, but at this point in his story, Barry had no idea who his mother’s killer and set out to become a forensic scientist in order to help get his father out of jail.

'''Boomstick: One day while working late in the lab, Barry was struck by a bolt of lightning which set him flying back into a cabinet of electrified chemicicals, but instead of being killed or crippled for life he was granted the power to move his body at incredible speeds, becoming the Flash! '''

Wiz: Barry’s physical ablites were greatly increased when he gained his powers. He’s strong enough to send Superman flying with his blows, go head-to-head with the likes of Supergirl, The Spectre and Ultraman, was able to gain the upper-hand when fighting the entire Justice League himself and managed to draw blood from Nix Uotan, a Multiversal Monitor.

Boomstick: He’s been able to tank hits from Gorilla Grodd and Reverse-Flash, survived getting flicked into a hot-dog stand by Superman and a kick from the Spectre which sent him flying all the way to freaking Mars of all places, was the first to get back up from an attack from New 52 Darkseid was able to tank the Omega Beams at point-blank range, the same beams that are able to severely damage the likes of Superman so the fact he can survive being hit by them is REALLY impressive!

Wiz: Now onto his speed which is his main trump card. He’s fast enough to dodge lightning, beat Superman in a running race, outrun Darkseid’s Omega Beams and the Black Racer which is essentially the avatar of Death itself. He’s also claimed to have evacuated the entire population of Tokyo in 30 seconds, is able to run on water, helicopter blades and clouds, managed to have a full conservation with Superman before anyone else moved an inch, can accomplish tasks while being practically invisible to other people, can move at speeds that make the rest of the world seem completely still around him, was able to travel the entire universe in mere moments whilst searching for the Spectre and lastly, was able to run so fast that he ended up rebooting the entire DC Multiverse.