Jill Valentine vs. Frank West (Dead Rising)

Description
“Resident Evil versus Dead Rising! Two of Capcom’s most famous zombie-slayers battle to the death!”

Introduction
Spider: Zombies. Hordes of shambling, brain-eating monsters that were once human beings. The sight of the undead is enough to unnerve even the bravest.

Pixie: Unless you’re a videogame hero, in which case you grab the first weapon you can get your hands on and slaughter those moaning menaces like there’s no tomorrow. Just like Jill Valentine, the Agent of S.T.A.R.S.

Spider: Or Frank West, the world’s most unflappable photo-journalist. I’m Spider.

Pixie: And I’m Pixie!

Spider: And it’s our job to analyze their power, abilities and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Pixie: Oh, but there’s something we gotta mention before we start!

Spider: For the sake of simplicity and maintaining Death Battle’s rule of using the best-known incarnation of each character, we will be using the characters as they first appeared in Resident Evil and Dead Rising, respectively. Both Jill and Frank will be limited to the canonical weapons and abilities they had in their first games.

Pixie: Sorry to disappoint those of you were hoping to see brain-washed, bleach-blonde Jill take on middle-aged, robo-suited Frank. Anyhoo, onto analysis!

Frank
Spider: Frank West was a free-lance photojournalist who took a private helicopter to the city Willamette, Colorado after receiving a tip that something big was going to happen.

Pixie: What the anonymous tipster didn’t bother mentioning was that that “something big” was zombies. Shit-tons of zombies.

Spider: Frank soon discovered that nearly the entire population of Willamette had been infected by zombie-creating wasps during a terrorist attack.

Pixie: Zombies, wasps and terrorists? Dang, must have been a shitty day to live in in Willamette.

Spider: The survivors of the initial outbreak barricaded themselves in the Willamette Parkview Mall, but about the same time Frank arrived to investigate, the mall was breached and the zombies flooded in.

Pixie: Upon finding out that Willamette was Ground 0 for a genuine zombie apocalypse, Frank decided he needed to stick around long enough to discover the full truth of the incident and bring it to the public, because like every good journalist, Frank West is completely out of his fucking mind and has no sense of self-preservation whatsoever.

Spider: Unfortunately for Frank, dealing with the undead was not his only problem. He would also have to contend with the violently insane survivors of the outbreak dubbed Psychopaths, as well as the Special Forces Agents who were rapidly closing in to wipe out every witness to the Willamette Incident, silencing the truth once and for all.

Pixie: But fortunately for Frank, he’s got a lot more going for him in terms of combat ability than the average journalist. Franks is a proficient brawler who seems to take a lot of inspiration from pro-wrestling. He’s even strong enough to disembowel a zombie (or a person) with his bare hands. He’s also got a real knack for improv, and will use virtually anything he gets his hands on as a weapon, including canned foods, base-ball bats, televisions sets, and gumball machines. His best melee weapons are of course, the mini-chainsaw, which can mow through hordes of zombies in seconds, and the laser sword, which—

Spider: --isn’t canon, and won’t be used in this fight.

Pixie: Aww. Does he at least get the—

Spider: No, he doesn’t get the Real Mega-buster either! Frank got trapped in a mall, not a science-fiction weapons-development center. The Laser Sword and Mega-buster are explicitly non-canon bonus items.

Pixie: Well, Frank still has plenty of other fire-arms he can scrounge up and use, including hand-guns, shot-guns, hunting rifles, and a jeep-mounted machine-gun, which Frank can pry off of said jeep and carry around with his bare hands. This slows him down quite a bit, but it’s also the most powerful fire-arm Frank can use.

Spider: While it’s not a weapon, per say, it’s also worth mentioning that in order to enhance his news credibility, Frank carries a camera, which he can use to photograph moments that are particularly dramatic, frightening, or… um… erotic.

Pixie: Could you please explain why taking up-skirts in the middle of a zombie apocalypse is a good way to get people to listen to you?

Spider: ...No. No, I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.

Pixie: Of course, Frank has some faults. I mean aside from his insane compulsion to take perverted pictures in the middle of zombie-slaying.

Spider: As a reporter, Frank does not carry any standard weaponry, and must depend on what he can find. His melee weapons can break from use, and his ranged weapons are limited by their ammo. Also, while Frank is capable of operating firearms, he’s not exactly a master gunslinger, and can have some trouble drawing a bead on a hostile, moving target.

Pixie:  But still, there’s not many reporters around who are able and willing to challenge the hordes of the undead with random objects they grabbed at the mall.

[Clip from Dead Rising.]

Frank: I’ve covered wars, you know.