User blog:Gliscor Fan/Why league of legends characters shouldn't be in Death Battle Classic

So everyone knows that as of now, I'm that guy who hates everything ever. Literally. No joke at all.

~coughs~ So anyway, something has recently been brought to my attention that was so miniscule, I had to make a full-on, extremely detailed blog ranting about it. That's what I do. Yay.

Now, one of the worst ideas I have ever requested to death battle was Twisted Fate vs Gambit, and not only is that a horrible stomp, but it's Zelda vs Peach - levels of a mismatch. Why do you ask? Oh... it seems I have to now rant on about it now.

USELESS FACTOID #1: 75% of League Characters are featless.
Reason: Yes, 25% of them aren't featless, and League is a continuing "series" so obviously some of them will get closer and closer out of the endless pit of urgh. But, the other 75%? Most of them haven't even really been touched since release. All any of these characters have for feats is Lore and Promo animation videos. Lore has barely any feats at all. Promo Animation Videos maybe give us 1 or 2 feats. Example: The Ekko Promo video confirmed that Ekko is Wall level. That's right. Wall Level is one of the highest levels in League currently in Promo animation alone. I wish I was joking about that.

Now, if we move on, League Characters are almost always paired with characters who have years of history. Jack Sparrow vs Gangplank, Twisted Fate vs Gambit, Danny vs Mordekaiser (Please don't murder me Ari), and Brand vs Firebrand.

Do you see a trend with 3 of these? They're paired with the character they're based off of, and have much better feats anyway. Not to say that Homage vs Original matchups are bad (Deadpool vs Deathstroke is one of my favorite DBs), but these specific ones are all basically mismatches and huge stomps.

USELESS FACTOID #2: Powerscaling... doesn't exist in league.
Reason: There. I said it. As of the lore overhaul, almost everything that happens canon in league is lore. Nothing that happens in the game is canon anymore. It used to be that the player was canon to League (They were called summoners at the time), but Riot decided to overhaul the entirety of lore, remove summoners completely, and refresh the script. This actually removed some of the feats and actually, it removed powerscaling as a whole.

It used to be that the Summoner would summon the League of Legends characters to the battlefield to fight one another, which would actually be canon. This means that the first 3 World Cups of league are actually canon to league lore. But during the 4th season, around the release of Azir/Gnar, they killed all of it off, so the New 52 League of Legends can't actually powerscale to anything that happens on the rift.

If a Nocturne kills a Dragon on the first solo, originally, you could scale that. If a Nasus could possibly solo Baron Nasher, that would actually make Nasus up to Large Building, and you could scale everyone to that, if they could damage Nasus. This made every league character large building. But after Riot Retconned the storyline and took Summoners completely out of canon lore entirely, you can't do that anymore, because now Riot confirms they aren't officially on the rift in the first place.

What? Yeah, you heard right. The characters on the rift are just holograms, and everything is simulated rather than actually happening. So you can't scale Nasus to Baron Nasher anymore. You can't even scale Teemo to a frog. Unless you use memed teemo. Memed Teemo soloes League of Legends. I'm not kidding.

USELESS FACTOID #3: TEEMO
Reason: Okay, when I said League of Legends characters shouldn't exist in league, I forgot one... Teemo. Teemo, when memed, can actually solo League of Legends because Riot has said, on multiple occasions, that Teemo is basically Satan.

Now, normally they say this in as a joke, but it's become so prevalent in memes and by riot that it's basically true now. This means that Memed Teemo...can be powerscaled to the devil himself.

and the Devil is at least Planet level.

So if all of the league of legends characters are either featless of close to Wall+... Memed Teemo literally soloes League of Legends.

Rest in peace, everyone...

Which series shouldn't be in Death Battle Classic? Five Nights at Freddy's Other (Leave in comments or something)