User blog:Fedora Lord Para 348/Death Battle Reviewed

Alright, so because I am interested in entering the realm of reviewing, I've decided to take one of my favorite internet shows, and painstakingly review every single episode of the long-running internet series. I'll try not to let the outcome of these fights affect me TOO much with how I feel about them, but we'll see how that goes.

WARNING: Opinions! If you disagree with me on who would win a fight, feel free to debate me elsewhere. But this is about my thoughts on the fights, not on the outcomes. Also, spoilers.

Anyway, let's begin at the beginning: Season 1!

Boba Fett VS Samus Aran
Ah, what better way to start off Death Battle Reviewed, than the way Death Battle started?

Going into this fight at the very beginning, I can only imagine what is going through someone's head. Before this episode, there weren't a lot of shows or really anything that would settle a fight anywhere outside of VS Debates, and those shows Ben Singer would talk about during Q&A's. So something like this was definitely pleasant to see, after taking note of its Deadliest Warrior-style judgment on who would win in a fight to the death.

Now, this is a really spectacular way to begin a series, kind of. The idea of Boba Fett VS Samus is amazing! Two intergalactic bounty hunters, East VS West, hero VS anti-hero, video games VS movies, it's every single nerd debate in one. The characters are very well-known, but at the same time, this fight isn't very controversial. So the idea alone has a lot of merit as a starting idea.

While it seemed like a really cool episode at the time, well... it's honestly very dated. The 2D animation seems choppy and slow, and the health bars are really out-of-place. Like, really really out-of-place. The analysis portions are also quite quick and don't have the jokes Wiz and Boomstick are known for, and the conclusion simply takes way too long to sit through. Research is lacking a bit, especially since they said Boba Fett is stronger and more durable than Samus even though he isn't by any stretch of the term, keep in mind that this is literally their first episode. And, they managed to get the fight correct anyway. But looking back... yeah, there's a really good reason Ben stopped animating fights.

What score would I give this? Honestly, while the episode feels really dated now (even the analysis portion contains some spelling errors... whoops), there is nothing that can compare to seeing this show for the first time and wondering what the hell it is, and finding yourself wanting more. It's relatively inoffensive. So, I guess I'll give it a 6/10. But they can only get better from here, right? Well... why don't we see about that?

Akuma VS Shang Tsung
What can I say about Akuma VS Shang Tsung? When you take two of the most popular fighting games, Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, and take two of the iconic villains from the franchise, and pit them against each other, you get this. And the result? Well... why don't we find out?

Much like Boba Fett VS Samus, this fight feels... dated. The Wiz and Boomstick analyses are still quite short and lacking in the humor department aside from the joke about Akuma finger-painting, the fight itself feels slow and choppy, and the result is a bit of a pain to sit through. Once again, it just goes to show why Ben doesn't animate anymore - he was just never very good at it, and this is one of those reasons. Akuma is always a character who brings hype to a fight wherever he goes, but here... the hype doesn't feel quite as strong.

Really, there's nothing I can say about this fight I can't also say about Boba Fett VS Samus. Except, this one likely wasn't quite as debated as the last one, so that initial excitement isn't really there either. There is an interesting segment involving Shang Tsung transforming into Scorpion and then Akuma, but other than that, it just kinda... falls flat. Akuma does indeed win, but... it's still not one he's likely to brag about. This fight is basically Samus VS Boba Fett all over again, without that sort of excitement. So I'm going to give it a 5/10. It's not terrible, and has a few good moments, but really, it's just... not their best.

Rogue VS Wonder Woman
Now THIS is the first instance of Death Battle doing something you'll quickly find they love to do - find some way to BS everything while keeping you under the impression that what you just saw was awesome.

Spoiler alert: This fight is not awesome.

Starting things off: The idea itself. Obviously this season didn't quite have a lot of fights commonly requested, or at least at first. First off, this episode wastes no time in telling us that this fight was mostly done for fanservice. Yes, Rogue and Wonder Woman are sexy comic book gals - now can we please move on? Once again, really quick and half-assed analyses with the only real jokes being Boomstick just being really creepy. Here's a hint, Boomstick - it's NOT endearing to talk about how much you would hold onto Miss Marvel.

How about the fight itself? Again, it suffers from Ben's terrible animating. Choppy movements, boring fight scene, health bars- okay, if there's one thing I can commend this episode on, it's the removal of those goddamn health bars. That was something we needed since Boba Fett VS Samus. But then - then there's that Madoka-awful outcome that shows not only did they skip a bit of research, but also that they might have rigged things a bit in Rogue's favor.

I could go on and on about how Wonder Woman could blink and the shock waves of her eyelids closing would tear off Rogue's flesh, but let me just put it to you this way: Wonder Woman once entered the Speed Force.  Yes, that Speed Force. That should be enough to convince you that Wonder Woman legitimately wins this fight. If not, how about the fact that they conveniently robbed her of her sword and shield which she is almost never seen without, or ignored the fact that she has far less revealing outfits? This fight... it's honestly one of the worst offenders as far as research and outcome go, and literally nothing else besides the removal of the health bars is saving this episode.

I would go ahead and give this episode a 1/10, but hey. No more health bars. So I'm giving Rogue VS Wonder Woman a 2/10.

Haggar VS Zangief
I'm guessing after Rogue VS Wonder Woman, Death Battle needed some way to veer themselves onto a track to make themselves not look biased. One way of doing that would be to express interest in one character, then make him lose his fight. And that one would take place in none other than Haggar VS Zangief.

Starting things off... wow these analyses are short. Nothing new, really, but wow. These are basically a new low for short analyses. And, well... there's not really a semblance of a joke in their either.

The animation, however, is probably the best up to this point, if Rogue VS Wonder Woman was the worst up to this point. At any given moment these manly men are wrestling, piledriving, and flinging things out the window as there's always quite a bit going on. There's even a gag with several objects and characters being flung out a window. I could complain about filler with that scene, but honestly? Compared to literally everything else seen on the show up to this point, this is pretty awesome. Especially the climax, because it is the only time up to this point where there is no hint as to who is about to claim victory, and it happens so abruptly and so quickly that if you blink, you will miss it.

Now, as for research. Via scaling, it's easy to come up with Multi-City Block Zangief. Of course, as we will later find out, ScrewAttack kinda considers themselves too good for power scaling. However, Haggar has a feat that outclasses even Multi-City Block Zangief - piledriving someone through the Earth's crust. So, noble effort to appear unbiased, but ultimately the wrong conclusion. However, it's a relatively obscure feat, and this is literally their fourth episode (I'm not counting Goomba VS Koopa), so I don't really blame them that much.

While the animation is good, the analyses aren't really anything special. However, I can give it a solid 6/10.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale
Alright, now this is an idea you need to gather up some friends for, so you guys can settle that debate you had in 4th grade once and for all.

While you were adamant about Leonardo's leadership being his key to victory, your best friend was telling you that Raphael's tenacity would secure his victory, and your nerdy friend assured you that Donatello would take it via his smarts and long range, and your goofy friend who would eventually become a stoner who bummed pizza off of you guys was trying to convince you Michelangelo would steal victory under everyone's turtle-noses just by being unpredictable.

And, then the analyses started.

And... let's just say they were worse than Haggar VS Zangief's.

The shortest analyses to date, with little to nothing about their backstory and just explaining their strongest traits as well as a bit about their weapons. And... this episode also demonstrates something else that Death Battle sadly loves to keep doing - being mean-spirited, specifically toward Michelangelo.

In the cartoons and movies, Michelangelo never had problems with his nunchucks. In the analysis, Wiz made fun of Mikey for having the most complex weapons despite being the dumbest turtle. However... there was that one time... where Michelangelo defeated Raphael in a tournament. Hmm... kinda makes you think.

Luckily, those painful analyses are also short. The battle, it's quite something.

Again, their mean-spirited nature toward Michelangelo does not let up, as he's brutally sliced to pieces in only the first few seconds of the episode. There's a bit of repeated animation that gets a little tiring with Donatello hitting Raphael on the head, but it pulls a little bait-and-switch seconds after. Now, I am a sucker for bait-and-switch, whether played for comedy or for drama, or for outright intensity. And I think it worked really well here. Overkill on Donatello (which is something horrific for your nerd friend to see), which... well, let's just say Ben is REALLY a total masochist for actually deciding to animate that, and then the climax where Raph almost kills Leo, and Leo delivers one last stab.

But then there's that face at the end, where Leonardo realized he just had to kill his brothers. That was not the face of a winner. It was that of a loser.

Now, despite the animation being exciting, and the idea being one of their best, it loses out in several other regards. Again, the analyses are painful, and it's just WAY too mean-spirited toward Michelangelo and to a degree, Donatello. The result is accurate enough and makes enough sense, but there's one big thing at the end that's really going to bite this series in the ass later down the line, and I want you all to remember it.

"And four; That whole movie doesn't make much sense to begin with. Why should this?"

Just remember that quote and keep it in your heads.

But really, still an early episode, and the fight was fun, at least. This one gets another 6/10.

To be continued...