Laharl vs The Demi-Fiend

Pre Episode/Read This First
Cue Music 1

Theodore: Instead of another humorous skit, we would like to start this episode off with a DISCLAIMER!

Rena: Ooh, nice speech technique!

Nova: As many of you may have concluded, this fight might be a teensy bit unfair as far as one of the combatants is concerned.

Alice: Understatement of the millenia, everybody.

'Luther: But hey, this is our Season Finale (well, at least half of it) we're talking about here! We're not gonna half ass this episode just because we're dealing with one of the most overpowered characters in all of fiction!'

'''Theodore: Indeed! Why drabble on about how screwed *name redacted* is when we can instead focus on discussing the pure unadulterated badassery of both combatants? There is absolutely nothing heroic or exciting with accepting a mere one shot kill as a victory! '''

Rena: Yeah, that would be BOOOOOORING!

''Alice: With that said, it's not like we have to HAVE to end this battle in under a minute. We'll do what Wiz & Boomstick have always done and give the loser the benefit of the doubt. *cough* Goku says hi from the afterlife.''

Nova: Okay, so did you get all that?

'''Theodore: Great! Then let us commence the show!'''

Description
This What If Death Battle will feature Laharl from the Disgaea series and the Demi-Fiend from Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

These two demons practically embody the word OP, commanding and destroying other demons on a daily basis, all without a shirt on. If you ever find yourself pissing either of them off... You'd better hope they're feeling merciful...

Interlude
'Luther: Let's not mince words here. Demons are the total epitome of power and badassery!'

Alice: Technically, today's combatants are half demons.

Luther: Meh, whatever.

'''Theodore: Now I'm sure the very word brings about a sense of pure dread and vileness, but I must assure you that not ALL demons are douchebags. At least not entirely.'''

Rena: When we're dealing with dudes that are strong enough to blow up a planet or two with the snap of a finger, I'm sure we'd much rather have them on our side than anything else.

Nova: It's one hell of a good alternative when a certain franchise's version of God is an almighty genocidal prick.

Luther: Introducing Laharl, the bratty half pint Overlord!

Theodore: And Hitoshura, the ever so infamous Demi-Fiend!

Alice: You already know our names, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win...

Everyone: A DEATH BATTLE!

Nova: Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series!

Luther: Wait, what?

Laharl
Cue Music 2

'Luther: I've gotta go ahead and bring something up: Do we have another name for the world of Disgaea besides "The Netherworld"? Because there sure as hell are a lot of Netherworld's out there!'

''Alice: You know, I don't think the developers actually thought that far. Regardless of which Nether region you decide to visit, you'll probably come to the obvious conclusion that that it's nothing like our own world.''

'''Theodore: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Nefarious deeds such as murder and ultra violence run rampant, powerful demons lurk in every dark corner, and the concept of morality is completely foreign to all that abide in this realm!'''

Rena: That sounds SO awesome! With a realm as wicked as this, it's gotta have a real badass in charge, right?

Nova: Eh, about that...

Cue Footage

'Luther: Wait, seriously?! This little pipsqueak is supposed to be the Overlord?!'

Cue Music 3

???: Who the hell are you calling a pipsqueak?!

'Luther: What- OW OW OW! Get this bastard away from me!'

''Alice: Hey, speak of the devil... Wait a minute, you weren't scheduled to make a cameo in this episode! What the hell are you even doing here?''

Luther: And how were you able to hear my insults all the way from the- ah, not the face!

'''Laharl: Silence, peons! I, the Great and Powerful Overlord Laharl, am here to make sure you don't screw up my Death Battle debut!'''

Theodore: We appreciate your noble graces, but I assure you we can handle this situation well enough on our own.

Nova: Way to kiss up to the management, Theo. Would you like to polish his shoes too?

Theodore: Admittedly, I would like to add your luxurious signature to my autograph collection while we're still on the subject...

Rena: Man, was Theo this much of a fanboy when Dante made his cameo?

Alice: No, he's somehow managing to be even MORE of a hero suck upper now, as if that was even possible.

'''Laharl: Nonsense! There's nothing wrong with worshiping one's obvious superiors! Now, let's hurry up and get to the verdict so that I can claim my victory!'''

Luther: I don't know how to break this to you Laharl, but Death Battle doesn't quite work like that.

'''Laharl: Why not?! If you guys are petty enough to give the Prinnies two separate wins, then of course I'd be even more deserving of a win!'''

Nova: Eh, the way the fans see it, you're about to be in for the biggest ass kicking of your life.

Laharl: That's preposterous!

Alice: You're not gonna be leaving any time soon, are you?

'''Laharl: Like Hell I will! Pun fully intended! But if you really want to waste time "explaining" why I'd completely destroy that other loser, then hurry up and start explaining my backstory for me!'''

Nova: You know, I find it hard to believe that the chain of command in your Netherworld can somehow fall from a respected Demon like Krichevskoy to his half breed thirteen year old kid.

Rena: Thirteen? Isn't Laharl supposed to be over 1300 at this point?

Theodore: You'd certainly never guess that at first glance, especially when our hallowed shirt hater here doesn't act remotely close to his real age.

''Alice: I suppose that's just how the system of monarchy works when the King just decides to keel over and die one day. There was one little complication with this succession of titles however...''

'Luther: By some cosmic coincidence, Laharl actually managed to sleep through the events of his father's death... along with the two years of utter chaos that followed.'

Laharl: I swear that was only supposed to be a ten day nap...

Rena: If it's any condolence, Laharl was able to experience the greatest Good Morning, Crono sequence in video game history once those two years were over!

Theodore: Soon discovering the news of his father's death and the vacancy of the Overlord's very position, Laharl took it upon himself to claim his rightful throne and rain terror down upon the lands!

Nova: Considering just how powerful this dude is, I'd imagine he's gonna have a pretty easy time taking over the world.

Cue Music 4

Alice: Laharl is capable of wielding any weapon in the book, but like most other JRPG heroes, he tends to prefer swords over all else.

'''Laharl: Or I could just beat my enemies senseless with my bare hands! '''

'Luther: Or a Horse Wiener. For some reason.'

'''Laharl: Hey, those things are dangerous! They just haven't given you a proper sense of terror yet!'''

Rena: Whenever he's not cowering in fear over livestock anatomy, Laharl can be found wreaking havoc with a GIGANTIC variety of ridiculous special attacks!

Nova: No kidding! Disgaea's special attacks have long since demolished the ceiling of pure absurdity and they've just been getting wilder from there! And I totally love it!

'''Theodore: With that in mind, we're only going to cover the Weapon Skills present in Disgaea D2. We don't want to overwhelm the audience (or ourselves) after all!'''

'''Laharl: What?! You guys are going to nerf me just because you're too lazy to cover the entire series?!'''

Nova: If it means anything to you, this decision is purely aesthetic...

Alice: Laharl can carve up a line of enemies with Blade Rush, create a vortex with Hurricane Blade, deliver sneak attacks with Nether Slash, develop lines of explosions with Musou Slash, shoot waves of energy with Dark Knight Slash...

Rena: You couldn't have come up with more creative names than Insert Title Here Slash?

'''Laharl: Hey, it wasn't my fault that the developers slacked off in that department! Who do you think I am, that airheaded CPU?'''

Nova: Huh? What CPU?

'''Laharl: That girl right there! Ah dammit, she just jumped away from the window! I'd watch myself if I were you guys, I bet she's trying to force her way onto the show again.'''

Theodore: I have a bad feeling about this...

Cue Music 5

Rena: Now those attacks might have sounded pretty cool, but they're just a bunch of ants when compared to the series big guns! When you're not cutting up mountains with a single swing or making entire planets explode, then you know we're nowhere near the top of the Disgaean foodchain!

''Alice: Just take a look at Dimension Blade, a top tier sword skill that cuts through space and time to demolish everything in sight... Wait, this actually sounds fami-''

'''Theodore: Well did Cress's Distortion Blade ever tear apart the land before it? I don't think so!'''

'''Laharl: You'd better not go around calling me a ripoff now! Especially when Sky Nine Slash and Super Crosslord are two of my favorite skills ever! I can shoot lasers from my sword and summon weapons at least three times my size! What's not to love?'''

Nova: Those sword attacks are awesome and all, but Disgaea D2's fists skills are what really steal the show this time!

'Luther: Now we're talking! This is where Laharl really gets to show off his speed, due to the constant abuse of flash steps and afterimages. The dude has no trouble busting down walls of rock or destroying an entire mountain range by punching some poor bastard right into it!'

Rena: If you guys thought that shit was over the top, Laharl can actually recreate the Big f*cking Bang with his bare hands! Eat your goddamn heart out, Sephiroth!

'Luther: Bow chika- OW! OW!'

Alice: Yeah, I thought you'd say that.

'''Theodore: Are you still not satisfied?! Do you want to see five times the absurd power?! Because Laharl can do just that with Quintuple Shot, a technique that creates four clones of little rascal to bombard people with some rainbow hadokens!'''

'''Laharl: Hah! You've barely seen a fraction of my real power yet! Hell, I can make a miniature sun and knock someone around the place like a hellish bouncy castle with No Way Out! Just in case they're not dead yet, I can always take the time to crush that sun with two explosive rock pillars!'''

Nova: *gasp* Laharl has a pillar feat?! Let alone two at once?! That must mean-

Alice: That must mean you're using the most obnoxious joke this show's scene in ages.

Rena: We're kind of running out of segues at this point, so let's stop with the weapon skills and get right onto Laharl's unique attacks!

'Luther: Oh, that's right. As awesome as all those moves were, it's very much possible for anyone to use them-'

Rena: *gasp* Really?

Luther: As long as you're willing to put in hours upon hours of grinding.

Rena: Son of a bitch!

'''Laharl: Ahahahahahahaha! You fools! You can't expect to match up to my level with some basic training, can you? There's a good reason that I'M the main character, after all!'''

Alice: Yet for all of your big talk, you only have about four unique moves.

'''Theodore: And they're all awesome! Laharl can erupt the ground with Blazing Knuckle, rain down devastation with Overlord's Wrath, and perhaps best of all-'''

Nova: The dude can just hop onto some random meteor and force it to crash down, laughing maniacally all the way. Though I must say, that big rock he summons is a little too big to be called a meteor...

''Alice: Not. One. Word. Luth.''

'Luther: Fine... I'll let it slide this time...'

'''Laharl: That's good! Because now we can finally get to my ultimate attack!'''

'''Theodore: Ooh, please let me handle this one! I absolutely love Overlord Dimension! Destroying planets and creating a Big Bang is cool and all, but you simply can't top the act of creating an entire realm of existence with the sole purpose of annihilating your foes to kingdom come!'''

Rena: There's no kill like overkill! That's not too bad for a miniature Rita Repulsa, eh?

Luther: What do you mean?

''Alice: What, you didn't know? Those two share the same voice actor!''

Luther and Laharl: SERIOUSLY?!

Rena: Laharl, even you didn't know?

'''Laharl: Eh, doesn't matter. What does matter is that I'M COMPLETELY UNSTOPPABLE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'''

Nova: OBJECTION! I wouldn't be too sure about that, buddy. In fact, you've just highlighted one of your many weaknesses!

'''Theodore: There's no two ways about it. Laharl is one cocky bastard.'''

''Alice: Damn. He laid that on without any hesitation.''

Theodore: His overconfidence in his own abilities is more than enough to make the young overlord underestimate his foes time and time again.

'''Laharl: Oh come on! That's not even a real weakness! Does it really even matter when I can destroy the entire galaxy in less than a minute?!'''

Nova: I do know something that can stop you... Get a load of this!

'''Laharl & Theodore: AGH! What the hell is that?!'''

.*Crash!*

Rena: Yeah! Two for one! It turns out Laharl has a debilitating weakness to sexy bodies.

Theodore: You didn't have to jump scare us like that...

'Luther: Damn, I can't even imagine how much it would suck to live with that. Luckily enough, he IS completely unaffected by flat chicks like Allie and Nov...'

... *Tense Silence Intensifies*

Luther: What I meant to say was boobs are overrated!

'''Laharl: Smooth save. But you guys still don't have any dirt on me!'''

Rena: Oh yeah? Hey Allie, turn up the volume!

Alice: You wouldn't dare!

Rena: Yeah we would! World Violence!

...

'''Theodore: No Rena, that's not the right line. What you were supposed to say was ETERNAL LOVE!'''

'''Laharl: GAAAAAAAHHHH! Dammit, I can't stand those words!'''

Nova: Seriously dude? That's the final nail in your board?

''Alice: Alright, seriously speaking for once, Laharl really has nothing else holding him back. There's a good reason this kid's strong enough to take the position of Overlord by force. He's fought and defeated many of the Netherworld's strongest denizens time and time again, including but not limited to the all powerful Tyrant Baal himself.''

'''Laharl: Pah! Baal's nothing more than a stupid gameplay gimmick intended to force players into hours of level grinding just so they can stand a chance against him! I on the other hand-'''

Rena: Yeah, we know. You've single handedly kicked the ass of the local bonus boss more than once. That's not entirely impressive when you're not the only one who's done it.

'Luther: *cough* Valvatorez would totally kick your ass in a fight. *cough*'

.*stomp*

Laharl: What was that?

''Alice: I say we should just leave this up to the experts. ''

Demi-Fiend
Cue Music 6

'''Laharl: What is the meaning of this?! Get me out of here, you imbeciles!'''

Luther: You know, if you're gonna trap an evil Overlord inside a pocket dimension, you could at least make it soundproof.

''Alice: Hey, you can't expect miracles from me 24/7. Besides, we just need to keep him in there long enough for us to finish the analysis.''

Nova: I just hope our next combatant isn't as... talkative as our little Overlord here.

''Alice: He's not. In fact, he barely talks at all.''

Theodore: Indeed, Naoki Kashima was originally nothing more than an unexciting Japanese high schooler with a rather uneventful life, but his life would be changed forever the day he decided to visit his teacher in the hospital alongside his friends.

Rena: Why, exactly? Because the apocalypse came about, that's why! I'm serious, the freakin' world suddenly came to an end while Naoki was busy inside the hospital! This ended up killing EVERYONE that was outside the building and turning Tokyo into a viscous demonic wasteland known as the Vortex World!

Nova: Tokyo... Why is it always Tokyo?

Cue Music 7

''Alice: Shouldn't YOU know this of all people? Tokyo is the Center of the Universe after all. Give or take fifty feet.''

Luther: Considering just how often the place is ransacked by giant monsters, targeted by the ambitions of mad scientists, and filled to the brim with superhumans, it was only a matter of time before it became the focal point of a world ending catastrophe.

Theodore: But then why was New York attacked in the Avengers-

Alice: Because the bad guys didn't know what they were doing in that movie.

Nova: Riiiight... Anyway, the very creation of the Vortex World was the result of a phenomenon known as the Conception, something of an annual (though it doesn't come along very often) event that throws the world into the apocalyptic state you see now in order to recreate the entire universe!

Rena: Well shit, whose idea was it to even make this a thing?!

Alice: God.

Theodore: The dastardly fiend...

'Luther: And the true villain of the franchise. Who'da thought it?'

Rena: Getting back to Naoki now, he may have lived through the end of the world as we know it, but there was still one problem: No normal human would have any real chance of surviving in the Vortex World, which is why a mysterious little kid decided to drop a freakin' snake in his eye!

''Alice: That "snake" is a parasitic entity known as a Magatama, an entity capable of forcefully turning humans into demons. In this case, unwittingly ingesting this abomination into his body resulted in the transformation from Naoki Kashima to the fearsome Demi-Fiend. (Otherwise known as Hitoshura depending on the translation you go by.)''

Nova: Oh hell yeah! With all this new power hand, Hito's gonna have an easy time dominating the Vortex World!

'Luther: Easy? Hell NO! This game's like the grandad of Dark Souls!'

Cue Footage

Luther: You're gonna be seeing that Game Over screen more times than people rage over our show by the time you reach the end of the game!

Cue Music 8

Alice: Speaking from experience, Luth?

Nova: I wouldn't exactly call you a reliable source for judging the game's difficulty. You died in the tutorial battle for f*cks sake!

Luther: That's rich coming from someone who never even had the balls to play the game in the first place!

Nova: I'm a chick, why would I have them?

'''Theodore: That's enough, you two. I'm sure none of our fans have subscribed to us for the sake of watching a lover's quarrel.'''

Rena: Aw c'mon Theo, they were just getting to the good part! Still, it does go to show that you've gotta be a real badass to even last ten steps in the Vortex World!

''Alice: Well in that case, Hitoshura has little to fear, especially when he's got sorts of useful abilities for the job. Despite his first ally being a simple Pixie, The Demi-Fiend is capable of swaying other, more powerful demons to his side through a series of connived (and straight up luck based) conversations.''

Luther: Alternatively, he could just beat his enemies into submission or force them to perform fusion dances to create even stronger demons!

Nova: Not even angels are high and mighty enough to refuse this dude's offer! You know you're doing something right when you've made Metatron, the Voice of God, into your personal bitch!

Rena: Hold up, Mettaton's an all powerful angel now?! The Undertale fandom's gonna LOVE this!

'''Luther: Wrong dude Rena, you're a couple of letters off. And no, we're not talking about the evil Transformer either.'''

'''Theodore: All of this grand power and yet Hitoshura does not even possess a weapon, instead relying on his bare hands and a grand array of destructive magic. Though he is capable of forming an energy blade from his hand to perform a select number of attacks.'''

''Alice: The Demi-Fiend is capable of all these feats because of the various Magatamas he find throughout his journey, which basically act as your substitute for equipment in this game. Each Magatama comes with its own unique set of abilities, stat boosts, and elemental affinities to aid Hito in battle.''

Nova: All these benefits sound great, but I dunno how to feel about having a demonic snake inside my body at all times...

'''Theodore: You're certainly wise to think that, as there is a faint possibility for Hito's Magatamas to act up in the middle of the battle, resulting in any number of positive or negative effects. '''

'Luther: Eh, I doubt Hito really has much reason to worry about the side effects. Not only will he casually toss old Magatamas into the depths of his inventory when he's done mastering the skills available, but they're technically not even alive in the first place.'

Rena: Speaking of skills, The Demi-Fiend's got one hell of a collection to choose from! Of course you've got your standard JRPG spells covering fire, ice, wind, and electricity, but that's just the tip of the iceberg!

Theodore: The Demi-Fiend certainly makes more of a creative use of these spells than many other protagonists, but there's no denying that his greatest strengths lie raw physical damage.

Nova: You see, many Shin Megami Tensei games work off a method of combat known as the Press Turn System, which rewards combatants with extra turns for pinpointing weaknesses or scoring critical hits.

Alice: Then because of the classic JRPG boss tendency to lack elemental weaknesses, Hito will capitalize on his naturally high attack and crit ratio to throw in even more attacks before his opponent even gets a chance to move.

Luther: And if Hito really wants to amp up the damage, using Focus will multiply the strength of his next attack by a whopping 250%!

Rena: Or you know, he could always just ignore your defenses all together in favor of nuking you with Megidolaon. I love overkill like that.

'''Theodore: Now of course if the Demi-Fiend wants to tilt the tides even further in his favor, then he has no problem partaking in the age old Megaten tradition of spamming buffs and debuffs. With the flick of a wrist, Hitoshura can freely bolster his agility, strength, and defenses, or vice versa.'''

Nova: Yeah, there's nothing cheaper than being forced to miss every attack just because some jackass reduced your agility down to nothing! It's just like spamming Double Team in Pokemon, but much worse! And I f*cking hate it when that happens!

''Alice: Not only do these effects stack upon one another, but they're also completely permanent unless you actively dispel them. ''

Rena: Wow, it looks like nothing short of an overpowered insta kill's gonna be enough to do this guy in!

'Luther: I wouldn't be too sure about that if I were you, Rena. Not only will Hitoshura survive the blow with a single digit of HP thanks to Endure, but he'll probably just bring himself back to full health with Diarahan directly afterwards. Oh, he's got those insta kill moves you were talking about too, but they're pretty much useless on most powerful enemies, so he barely uses them.'

Rena: Holy crap, this dude is broken! But wait, isn't there supposed to be a limit on how many moves Hito's allowed to have at once?

Alice: That's just Atlus's way of making the game even harder than it already is.

Nova: Damn you, balanced gameplay!

Cue Music 9

Theodore: Needless to say, The Demi-Fiend's vast potential for power allowed him to plow through the Vortex World, one demon at a time, not yet knowing that his very actions would influence the very fate of the universe at large.

Nova: Yeah, Hito's gone up against all sorts of demons on his travels, from infamous skeletons with broken agility (why does that sound familiar?), giant dick monsters, Ghost Rider's rejected cousin, the almighty God of Thunder, and even DANTE himself!

Luther: When you say Dante, you don't mean...

Alice: Oh yeah, we're talking about the Son of Sparda himself, who had apparently managed to survive the Conception and was hired by some unknown party to hunt down Mister Silent Protagonist over here.

Rena: Sweet! Does that mean we're getting another cameo?

Theodore: No can do Rena, my wallet can't take another severe blow like that.

Results
Which demon would you root for in this battle? Laharl Hitoshura What is your favorite demonically centered series? Disgaea Shin Megami Tensei