Guile VS The Soldier

Guile VS The Soldier is a What-If? episode of Death Battle. It features Guile from the Street Fighter series and the RED Soldier of the Team Fortress series. Description ''Street Fighter VS Team Fortress! Two of America's top military-themed fighters take to the battlefield to prove their superiority! Will Guile send this mercenary home to be a family man? Or will the Soldier's rockets and firepower prevail?'' Interlude Wiz: The gaming world has gifted the United States of America with a wide array of characters... Boomstick: And when it comes to the top brass of the military fighting class, these two fighters are recognizable from a mile away... for more reasons than one.  Wiz: Guile, Street Fighter extraordinaire. Boomstick: And the RED Soldier, the rocket-jumping mercenary! Wiz: For a fair assessment, we are going to limit these two fighters to their standard equipment and moves. For Guile we are strictly limiting him to moves from the canon games. No re-makes, spin-offs and non-canon games are allowed. And for the Soldier, we are limiting him to his standard equipment only. No allowing of unique weaponry and no special items or outside help from other classes. This way, we can avoid all player influence. '''Boomstick: Also there needs to be a death, so Soldier cannot respawn this once. Think of it as a TF2 arena match! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!''' Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle. Guile Wiz: Guile is one of the top powerhouses of the Street Fighter heroes, but before he became the man he is today, he was once a trainee in the United States Air Force. From there he befriended Charlie Nash, his superior officer, and it was him who taught Guile his unique fighting style, the same one that sticks with him today. '''Boomstick: But due to Guile being pretty impatient and hot-headed, he couldn't completely exact this art. He has to use both hands to perform attacks that Charlie could do with one. But I guess that's what you get if you try to take matters into your own hands.''' Wiz: Speaking of which, on a mission to find Charlie after he went missing, he ventured all the way out to a fortress belonging to the villainous group of Shadaloo. While their leader, M. Bison, was being pre-occupied by Ryu, Guile and Charlie set explosives around a source of power belonging to Bison known as the Psycho Drive. Ryu beat Bison and he regenerated into the Drive, at which point Charlie instructed Guile to escape. The base exploded in the end, but Guile was alright. Boomstick: But poor old Charlie was never heard from again, and to top it all off, Bison lived! Wiz: Enraged at Bison for supposedly being the cause of the death of his best friend, he entered the second World Warrior Tournament - which in itself was one of Bison's traps - in his quest for vengeance. '''Boomstick: His sheer size allows for him to hold a strong offense AND a strong defense to match! He can securely hold his ground against the likes of Ryu, Ken and kick-mistress Chun-Li! Clearly, he's the body build that most men would want to achieve in life.''' Wiz: His close quarter combat is impressive to say he learned from one person and has pretty strong long-ranged attacks as well that Charlie taught him, the unfortunate trade-off being that he only has two special moves he can properly utilise. '''Boomstick: The first is the Flash Kick, an anti-air move that keeps his foes at bay, and when it connects, it must hurt like a bitch! His other more famous move is known as the... Guile: Sonic Boom!  A part of the Street Fighter animated series plays, where Guile is throwing his Sonic Boom at two Shadaloo guards, who are knocked down.  Boomstick: This move is a basic projectile and is pretty much Guile's equivalent of the Hadouken. But when he charges this bad boy up, it can really cause serious damage! Unless it hits a wall. Or... anything, really.''' Wiz: Actually, both the Sonic Boom and the Flash Kick require charging to use at their maximum effects. So despite being a powerhouse with powerful strikes and defence, he doesn't have many special moves to back himself up. However, over time he has adapted the use of both the Sonic Boom and the Flash Kick to develop two particular Combo moves to enhance his fighting. One of these moves is the Sonic Hurricane. It is much more powerful than a standard Sonic Boom but instead of pinpointing it into a ball of energy, Guile unleashes this attack with a whirlwind effect just a few feet in front of him, which can act as a shield of sorts. '''Boomstick: But his most deadly combo is the Flash Explosion, a series of three Flash Kicks, each dealing individual damage with multiple hits in the first two. He uses this combo to heavily damage foes to the point of near-knockout, or decimate football records!''' Wiz: Despite the lackluster amount of applicable specials, he still has one more set of skills up his sleeve. See, each Street Fighter has his or her own unique moves, known as Unique Attacks, or Command Normals. Boomstick: I wonder what my Command Normals are... hey Wiz, how's about you and I spar for fun? Wiz: NO! Not after not what happened last time! The cleaner almost quit because of the damage he had to take care of! Boomstick: He knew the risks when he took the job! Wiz: Anyway, Guile has five unique standard moves that he can use, most if not all of which have been passed on to or can be used by Charlie, and focus on dealing heavy damage at close range. The first is the Spin Back Knuckle, a 180 degree turn which backhands the opponent with a quick punch that can stun them briefly. '''Boomstick: The only thing better than the backhand - the backFIST! Ha-ha!''' Wiz: The Reverse Spin Kick is a forward kick that can catch aerial foes, but blocking this move leaves Guile vulnerable to a counter attack. Boomstick: No-one's perfect - not even Guile. Wiz: Then there's the Step Kick, where Guile... steps forward and... kicks. Boomstick: It does take a moment to actually initiate, so it can be negated if the opponent acts quick enough! Wiz: But blocking it will only result in getting pushed back, so Guile has the upper hand with this move either way. '''Boomstick: The Knee Bazooka lets Guile charge forward with a jumping knee strike. Like a certain racing driver...''' Wiz: And finally, the Guile High Kick is a spinning high kick that can launch the opponent into the air to set up for a combo. '''Boomstick: As you can tell, Guile has all kinds of moves and a lot of power behind them. I mean, just a single Sonic Boom can blast someone away!' Guile: Sonic Boom!  Another part of the Street Fighter animated series plays, this time Guile knocking a random club fighter into the crowd with the Sonic Boom.  Guile: Don't believe everything you hear.  Wiz: We don't. In fact, Guile's chivalry and fighting style is somewhat questionable, given that he hates using firearms...  Guile: You know I hate guns! Guns are for wimps!'' Wiz... Which is pretty ironic considering his background. Boomstick: But Guile's the kind of guy who doesn't need to shoot a gun to be badass! Wiz: True. He has fought against many strong Street Fighters such as the likes of Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li, one of his rivals, Abel, and the supposed killer of his best friend, M. Bison. Boomstick: He even became an Air Force Fighting Champion! Wiz: And despite his fighting prowess and dealing deadly blows out a lot in these tournaments, he has successfully kept his family together for years, being the family man he tells everyone to be. '''Boomstick: But unfortunately, Guile can't stop everything in his path. He can only take so much before goin' down and his hot-headedness can make him lose focus and not be able to fight properly.''' Wiz: Also, although he swore to the expired Charlie that he would make Bison pay, he never did quite manage to exact his revenge the way he wanted to. '''Boomstick: And even when the opportunity knocked, he let Bison live. I fucking wouldn't if I was Guile! I'd pound his face in!''' Wiz: It's even questionable if Guile beating Bison ever happened! Boomstick: But perfect or not, it's hard to top this Sonic Booming champion! Guile defeats C. Viper in Super Street Fighter IV.  ''Guile: In the ring, missions are meaningless. It's a battle of wills. Nothing more.'' The Soldier Wiz: The era was the 1940s. The peak of World War II. And for a young man known only as Jane Doe, this meant the perfect opportunity to join the American Army. However, he was rejected by all military branches. 'EVERY. SINGLE. ONE OF THEM.'' Boomstick: So he gave the finger to restrictions and flew to the war himself! After finding Poland, he taught himself how to fire and load guns and went on a Nazi killing spree, slaughtering all who stood against him and being awarded medals that he made and designed himself! Clearly he should get an award for dedication to his country!''' Wiz: But upon the war ending in 1949, just as soon as Jane's slaughterfest had began, it suddenly ended. But this would not prove to be the end of his fighting career. Despite not being an actual Soldier - or at least, not a properly trained one - the aging Redmond Mann decided that he would be the perfect candidate to be one of nine mercenaries to be put to the fighting test in the feud against his brother, Blutarch, over the land of the Gravel Pits. And his brother just so happened to hire the exact same people, but in blue. Whoops. Boomstick: With Jane back on the warpath, he got back to grips with his former ways, and its his skills and weaponry that earned him the mercenary title of The Soldier! The Soldier fires a rocket at the BLU Medic.  Soldier: Maggots!  '''Boomstick: Heh heh... I like this guy! Maybe we should go to a bar together.''' Wiz: His trademark weapon is his rocket launcher, supposedly a heavily customised and stylised RPG-7 that fires 4 rockets at one time and has a total of 20 overall. But this weapon is surprisingly impractical. The rockets from this weapon launch at a constant speed of 1100 Hammer Units a second, roughly 47 miles per hour, or 21 meters a second. To compare, the RPG-7 grenade launcher, the weapon that the Soldier's launcher is based off of, has an inital launch speed of 294 meters a second. Comparing the two speeds means that the Soldier's rocket launcher is 14 times slower than its real-life counterpart! '''Boomstick: But the speed of these rockets make them no less lethal! While they do suffer from damage falloff over distance, a single rocket is capable of popping any foe in the air regardless of size or weight, and can gib most standard enemies in two to three shots.''' Wiz: The rocket launcher is far from the Soldier's only weapon. '''Boomstick: When the time does not quite call for making chunks of meat out of another person, he whips out his sawed-off pump action shotgun, useful for when his rocket launcher is out of ammo or requires reloading in a tight spot. It can shoot six times a clip, and holds 32 rounds worth of pain! And when he's REALLY up in someone's face ready for the kill, he pulls out his handheld flip-up shovel to smash his foes' faces in! See, it's not just for killing weeds, it does well for killing people as well! The Soldier gibs members of the BLU Team before turning around and whacking a Spy with the Shovel.  Boomstick: Heh-heh... I think he got him. He also houses two grenades on his chest, but he doesn't seem to use them that much and, thinking about it, why would you even store live explosives on your chest!?''' Wiz: Despite learning to fire a wide variety of guns in the midst of the Second World War, the Soldier hardly has much to defend himself with - three weapons is travelling light for someone who fought in a war. But despite this, the Soldier used his limited arsenal and revolutionised and possibly even invented a strategy so crazy it just might work. Boomstick: When Solly wants to get somewhere quick, he points down, fires, and does this! The Soldier is shown launching a rocket at his feet, performing a rocket jump.  Boomstick: I now know how I want to get from place to place in the future.  Wiz: This technique is known as rocket jumping, and utilises the rocket launcher's surprising lack of user lethality to hop into the air and gain extra mobility. '''Boomstick: The rocket jump technique allows him access to places even a Scout cannot get to and gives Soldier the oppurtunity to launch an air strike on unsuspecting foes. With a proper launch method he can propel himself well over 10 feet in the air with a single jump! Or he can chain these rocket jumps to travel around the battlefield at ridiculous speeds! Man, you do NOT want to get in the way of one of those. Just walking along and BAM! Slammed in the face by a speeding man in a war outfit!' The Soldier rocket jumps, destroying a Sentry and killing an Engineer in the process.''  Wiz: The Soldier still technically has one weapon left on his side... Luck. Boomstick: ...What? Wiz: No, the Soldier's standard equipment, and by extension all standard equipment for both teams, have a random chance for a heavy-hitting attack. These are known as critical hits. Boomstick: Now we're talking! Wiz: The critical chance is completely random and can occur at any time, although certain items and effects can force criticals to be fired. '''Boomstick: While normal projectiles suffer from damage fallout, critical shots don't, and deals roughly triple the damage that an ordinary shot would! When a crit projectile comes your way, you better fucking run away or else you'll be fried faster than a Thanksgiving turkey!''' Wiz: The Soldier is quite the survivor. Not only has he blasted away at the BLU Team for about a decade, but he is also man enough to even take on robot mercenaries made by Gray Mann, some of them many times bigger than he is! '''Boomstick: And for quite some time he had to be the roommate of Merasmus the Magician, and after things got hairy the Soldier had to suffer his wrath for over two years, having him and his team fight a giant eyeball and then Merasmus himself... and the Soldier's team won! ''' Wiz: However, despite his claims, he is not perfect. He's not exactly the smartest fighter, often relying on brute force and military instinct in a battle. Also, since there's no Medics allowed in this battle, he has to rely on health kits and ammo kits in order to keep an edge on his foes. Boomstick: And unfortunately, his standard launcher can only allow him so many jumps before HE'S the one who gets dismembered, so he has to put these under moderation. Wiz: The Soldier is tough, vicious, well-armed and well-rounded. He is an expert at playing himself beyond his own enemies' reach and keeping himself attached to an objective even under severe pain. At the same time, though, he can often be so one-track minded that he often overlooks important details while concentrating on a single objective. So although war is a perilous task, as a fighting man and a class, the Soldier is prepared for anything. Soldier: And from that day forward, any time a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a ZOO! DEATH BATTLE! The RED base is shown as the afternoon sunshine lights up the battlefield. The mission for the RED Team is about to begin. Announcer: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Begin! At this point, the gate opens and the nine RED mercenaries – Soldier included – begin to roll out for their mission. The Scout and Medic lead the team whereas the Soldier is at the back, the Heavy surging ahead. The team enter an enourmous warehouse and are about to hit the control point area when suddenly… ???: Sonic BOOM!  A huge energy blast surges towards the other RED team members and all of them are knocked down and killed by the sheer force of the blast. The Soldier arrives on scene to find his team slaughtered in front of him. On the end of the metal bridge housing the control point is Guile. The Soldier slowly walks forward and takes his position on the opposite end of his unknown adversary. Guile’s face is stern and uncaring as he addresses the mercenary. Guile: Go home and be a family man. Despite not knowing what this term means, the Soldier grimaces, coming to the conclusion that he is an enemy. He draws his rocket launcher and pulls it to his side, gripped in one hand. Soldier: No. Guile grimaces too, and hunkers down into his iconic battle stance. The Soldier is now gripping his rocket launcher with both hands, still down loose at his side. Both are now staring each other down across the bridge, anticipating each other to attack first. FIGHT! K.O.! Results Who would you be rooting for? Guile The Soldier