User blog:RaticalRoad/Sonic vs Bowser

Sonic vs Bowser is the first episode of RaticalRoad's blog fights.

Intro
Wiz: Mario is probably one of the most if not THE most famous video game character of all time.

Boomstick: He's been saving princesses and holding parties for over 30 years, so it's obvious he's gonna have some competition, like these two today!

Wiz: Like Sonic, the Hedgehog.

'''Boomstick: And Bowser, the....Turtle? Or is he a dragon?'''

Wiz: He's a turtle. Anyway, I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to anaylze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Sonic
Wiz: Sonic the Hedgehog was born as a baby prince who would one day rule over Mobius along with his two siblings, Manic and Sonia.

'''Boomstick: Wiz, are we REALLY gonna use that as his origin story? You know how awful that cartoon was!'''

Wiz: Just roll with it. Anyway, one day, the evil scientist known as Dr. Robotnik, now known as Eggman, interfered and attacked Mobius, forcing Sonic, his siblings and his mother to seperate. Over time, Sonic eventually met up with Tails, a two tailed fox, Knuckles, an echidna and many others to form the Freedom Fighters.

'''Boomstick: Oh, I get it! So it's basically just the animal version of the Avengers! PETA is gonna throw a fit when they see this.'''

Wiz: Let's not bring them into this. Moving on, Sonic is known for his incredible speed, being known as the "Fastest Thing Alive". Although his top speed is unknown, his average speed usually clocks in at just around 765 mph. And when his legs aren't good enough to get the job done, he can curl himself up into a ball and attack them instead.

'''Boomstick: That's right, like his iconic Spin Attack, where he uses his own body to roll down the competition. He can make himself even faster by using the Spin Dash, and can even home down on enemies with his Homing Attack. He can use this up to at least 3 times, depending on how many enemies there are.'''

Wiz: Some other abilities he has are the Fire Shield, which makes him immune to fire and heat. He can even use this shield to use a mid air dash attack. He also has the Lightning Shield, which makes him immune to lightning and thunder. He also is able to gain an extra jump with this ability.

'''Boomstick: And last, but not least, he has his Bubble Shield, which not only gives him water immunity but even lets him breathe underwater! He even gains a Bounce Attack, for some reason. What is up with him and bouncing?'''

Wiz: However, when all else fails, Sonic can bust out his ultimate form once he gains access to all 7 Chaos Emeralds: Super Sonic. Super Sonic grants Sonic a 1000% power increase, as well as flight, infinite stamina, invincibility and a large energy aura. He also has his other super form, Hyper Sonic, which is...pretty much the same thing, except he's green.

Boomstick: Sonic's defeated countless foes like Dr. Eggman, a robotic clone of him named Metal Sonic, an edgy clone of him named Shadow, and somehow survives the constant crap SEGA puts him through.

Wiz: He's survived atmospheric re-entry multiple times, destroyed a 46, 726, 976-ton stalactite, teleported the 15 mile wide ARK in his Super form, and has even been in the Olympics with Mario several times.

'''Boomstick: But...like almost every other character, he has flaws. For starters, he can't swim without the Bubble Shield, he's cocky, his Super Forms have time limits and his fanbase is one of the worst communities of all time. They're so bad, even the actual company made fun of them once! For all the abuse Sonic's been through out the years, he's sure one persistent hedgehog.'''

Sonic: All right! Our next adventure awaits us, so there's no time to waste! Yeah! We're SONIC HEROES!

Bowser
Wiz: Bowser was born as one of the seven Star children, alongside future archenemy Mario, his brother Luigi, his rival Wario, his love interest Peach, and....Yoshi and Donkey Kong.

'''Boomstick: Really? You couldn't think of any titles for Yoshi and DK? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one here!'''

Wiz: Alright then, you come up with them. Right on the spot.

'''Boomstick: Hmmm...uh....his noble...pet? Yeah, I don't have anything.'''

Wiz: Moving on, Bowser was raised by Kamek, who ruled over the Koopa Troop until Bowser became old enough to do it himself. From here, he eventually raised a family of 8 children, however only one of them is actually his child: Bowser Jr.

'''Boomstick: Wait, what? Then what would you call the 7 other kids he had?'''

Wiz: They're just his minions. Confusing, I know. Although Bowser usually prefers to have his minions do all the work, he isn't afraid to step into the battlefield himself if given the chance. One of his most notable abilities is his fire breathing. He's able to shoot fireballs and continuous streams of fire as well.

'''Boomstick: He's also got a giant shield of destruction sitting right on his back! Not only can he use it to protect himself and impale anyone dumb enough to be behind him, but he can also hide in it and spin attack as well...just like his kids. Like father, like...not son, eh?'''

Wiz: He also has a surprising mastery over dark magic. He's able to teleport, create lightning out of his hands, shapeshift his size depending on what the situation calls for. He's so good at his magic practices that he once turned the entire Mushroom Kingdom population into breaks.

Boomstick: Wait, if he did that, then does that mean?...Oh god, what have I done?!

Wiz: Don't think about it too hard, Boomstick, the damage is already done. Back on track, Bowser also has other special attacks of his, like his Flying Slam move, where he literally grabs his enemy and spins them into the air before colliding back into the surface. He also is proficient in ground pounding, just like his nemesis Mario.

'''Boomstick: And when that's not enough for you, he also has a personal ride: The Koopa Klown Car, also known as the Koopa Copter, the Koopa Car, etc. This baby can fire spiked cannonballs, flying missiles with eyes and arms called Bullet Bills, and contains Mecha Koopas, which are just tiny robot versions of him that he can throw around. They're not that useful.'''

Wiz: Bowser's strength is something that's not surprisingly tough. He's physically superior to the likes of Mario, Luigi, and even fellow heavyweights like Wario and Donkey Kong. He was able to fight and knock around his castle, survived being thrown into the sun, multiple black holes and just his appearance alone scares almost everybody in the Mushroom Kingdom.

'''Boomstick: And for some weird reason, Mario constantly invites him to go racing, partying and even playing sports with him too. Why Mario invites the one guy who hates him the most is something beyond me. What's even weirder is that Bowser gladly joins him too!'''

Wiz: However, he isn't without flaws. Bowser may be big and strong, but he's incredibly slow for the most part. Like his opponent, he can be very cocky and arrogant at times. He's never beaten Mario canonically, and some of his plans are flat out idiotic.

'''Boomstick: Yeah, no kidding! What kind of moron fights their enemy on a bridge that can be broken just by pressing a button?'''

Wiz: Speaking of Bowser's intelligence, it's also been revealed that Bowser is illiterate.

'''Boomstick: Wait, he can't read? That sounds awfully familiar to another character that appeared on our show once.'''

Wiz: Despite all of this, Bowser's the most feared man in the Mushroom Kingdom for a reason.

Bowser: GWAHAHA! Great dark hurricane! Seriously, perfect backdrop for an awesome final battle! You really sweat the details! ...Listen up! You're saying the kingdom will vanish? NOT TODAY! THIS KINGDOM IS ALL MINE! SO YOU VANISH!