Ninjette vs. Ibuki

Ninjette vs. Ibuki is a What-If? Episode of Death Battle featuring Ninjette from Empowered and Ibuki from Street Fighter.

Description
''Ninjette vs. Ibuki - Empowered vs. Street Fighter! Which misplaced ninja will triumph? Can the Kaburagi princess defeat the Glade of Ninja’s prize pupil?''

Interlude
(cue music - Invader)

Boomstick: Ninjas.

Wiz: They’re at the forefront of stealth, espionage, assassination-

Boomstick: -And sexy ninja ladies!

Wiz: Like Ninjette, the runaway princess of the Kaburagi clan from Empowered.



Boomstick: Or Ibuki, the Glade of Ninja’s prodigy student from Street Fighter.



Boomstick: He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.

Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win… a Death Battle.

Ninjette
(cue music - Echigoya's Estate)

Wiz: The Kaburagi are an enigmatic yet deadly clan of ninja located somewhere in the mysterious, far off lands of… New Jersey.

Boomstick: Because you can’t spell ‘ninja’ without ‘NJ’.

Wiz: Guess not. The Kaburagi clan has trained a lot of skilled fighters, but few can approach the notoriety of their runaway princess - Kozue Kaburagi.

'''Boomstick: You can just call her ‘Ninjette’. She’s got it written across her ass if you forget it.'''



Wiz: Ninjette was raised learning the ways of the Kaburagi Clan, and picked up a lot of extra stealth training trying to sneak around her alcoholic father, who is pretty much the worst person ever.

'''Boomstick: Seriously. The dude used to get his daughter drunk every day so that he could interrogate her with his ninja magic to find out if she was planning to run away.'''

Wiz: Which he planned to stop by cutting off her hands and feet.

'''Boomstick: So yeah. Kind of a jerk.'''

Wiz: Unsurprisingly, Kozue didn’t stick around. Eventually she learned how to get around her father’s interrogation spell and managed to escape the village.

'''Boomstick: Set the place on fire on the way out, too, just for that extra little ‘screw you dad!’. Ah, fire. The great communicator.'''



Wiz: Ninjette became a blade for hire, using her skills to keep ahead of the Kaburagi clan and any other ninja looking to pick up her bounty, and maybe earn a little money on the side.

'''Boomstick: But her life finally took a turn for the better when was hired to kidnap a specific superheroine - Empowered! See, the guys who hired ‘Jette were too lazy to show up for the pickup, so eventually she got bored and decided to take her captive out drinking instead. I wish more kidnappers bought beer.'''

Wiz: Empowered became Ninjette’s first and best friend - and after befriending a superhero, Kozue started to get involved in the superhero life, where she found her skills put to good use.



'''Boomstick: Ninjette has gone up against some serious heavy hitters, helping her new superhomey take on threats like Deathmonger and the Soldier of Love. She also straight up massacred the entire Ayakami ninja clan when they tried to drag her home!'''

Wiz: She’s quick enough to grab the cylinder on a revolver before it can fire, precise enough to kick someone’s mask off, and while she doesn’t have enhanced strength herself she’s shown herself entirely capable of outmaneuvering those who do - she defeated the super-strong Major Havoc with a single countermove. She’s also highly skilled at improvising.

Boomstick: She once took down some thugs with a chair and a slice of pizza!

Wiz: Or there was that time when she got jumped out of costume, so she disarmed her attacker and killed him with his own weapons.

'''Boomstick: Speaking of weapons, Ninjette is a walking arsenal, packing claws, smoke bombs, chains and a whole lotta shuriken. Even her arm wraps can be used to choke a guy! But her favourite has gotta be that spiffy katana.'''



Wiz: While Ninjette was deadly with a regular blade, her swordsmanship reached another level thanks to the magic sword she inherited from the hero Captain Katana. The Captain claimed that this blade could cut through just about anything, although obviously it’s hard to tell how true that is.

Boomstick: What we do know is that this thing can carve through solid rock like a hot knife through butter!

Wiz: And the Captain’s Katana isn’t the only trick Ninjette has access to. Like many ninja in her world, Ninjette has learned a variety of ninja arts that are often described as magic.

Boomstick: Hers are more focussed on disguise than combat, though.

Wiz: She’s a master of Hensojutsu, the ninja art of disguise and impersonation, using it to successfully impersonate men, woman, and even an alien blob parasite.



Boomstick: Ninjette is so good at this trick, she once used it to consummate a marriage… as the groom!

Wiz: She has some related tricks that revolve around concealing injuries or-

Boomstick: Or making a giant fake rack!

Wiz:...Or that, plus a technique to counter poison, one for crossing soft ground, and an enhanced sense of smell, which was good enough to identify a specific type of poison or catch out another ninja in a Hensojutsu disguise from twenty feet away.

Boomstick: With all these ninja tricks you’d think she’d never need to worry about getting caught.

Wiz: You’d think that! But you’d be wrong. The Ayakami managed to overwhelm her more than once, and she needed help to finally deal with them. The Soldier of Love successfully trapped her in a dream world for a few minutes, and Deathmonger’s undead army of superheroes was enough to overwhelm her. Plus she’s usually drunk.

Boomstick: I don’t see how that’s a problem.

Wiz: You wouldn’t. Ninjette’s alcoholism is so severe that in all the time since she ran away from her clan, she’s been sober for all of four nights. Total.

'''Boomstick: Wow. Lightweight.'''

Wiz: Only you.

'''Boomstick: Wait. She carries weapons everywhere, she can almost keep up with me in a drinking contest, and she has a secret ninja spell that can give her a great rack any time she wants? I think I’ve found the next Mrs Boomstick.'''

Wiz: You’d kill each other inside of a day.

Boomstick: Yeeeah.

Ninjette: If you think that I am voluntarily walking into a scenario likely to result in my death and/or dismemberment without first getting good and solidly buzzed… you are sadly f██king mistaken.

Ibuki
(cue music - Ibuki's Theme SSFIV)

Wiz: Somewhere, lurking deep in the shadows of Japan, live the secretive Geki clan.

'''Boomstick: These guys are exactly what an evil ninja should be - ruthless killing machines who’ll do anything for money. They even dress the part!'''



Wiz: Well, in reality those dark costumes we associate with ninja have more to do with Japanese theater than anything a real shinobi would wear.

'Boomstick: That’s exactly why ninjas should'' wear them! Everyone would think they’re just actors, then WHAM! Shuriken to the face. It’s the perfect plan!'''

Wiz: I… don’t think it works like that. But we’re getting off topic. The Geki considered themselves the forefront ninja clan in all of Japan, unmatched in the field of assassination, and they were always looking for ways to hold on to the title.

Boomstick: So, when they found some random abandoned baby one day, they decided to train her as the deadliest ninja ever.

Wiz: The Geki thought that by training the child from birth, untouched by the influences of the outside world, they could create the perfect assassin - a flawless tool to carry their clan into the future.

'''Boomstick: Unfortunately for them, one of their members disagreed. So he stole the baby, torched the place, and started his own ninja village - the Glade of Ninjas!'''

Wiz: The runaway ninja - a man by the name of Enjo - decided to raise the baby himself, in his new village. He named her… Ibuki.



Wiz: Enjo gave Ibuki the freedom that the Geki would have denied her, allowing her to attend a normal school and live some semblance of a normal life alongside her training.

'''Boomstick: And man, was she training! When she wasn’t learning from Enjo and his followers, she was competing with other trainees, sparring with Guy, the grandmaster of the Bushin-ryu fighting style, or - is that a ninja raccoon? The fuck?!'''



Wiz: Tanuki, actually. That would be Don-Chan, Ibuki’s pet and constant companion.

Boomstick: Why is it a ninja?!

Wiz: Not important. Once her training reached a high enough level, the Glade started sending Ibuki out on missions for the village - she’s broken into military compounds, been hired out to work for Rolento and the Kanzuki Zaibatsu, and even stolen documents from the Illuminati.

Boomstick: I knew they were real!

Wiz: Ibuki fights using ninjutsu, a fighting style that allows her to take advantage of her speed and agility, with a moveset full of powerful kicks and techniques that make use of her mobility.

'''Boomstick: She’s snuck into multiple secret bases, fought Karin Kanzuki on top of a speeding car, and even picked a fight with Oro, one of the most powerful people on the planet! Ibuki carries a whole bunch of kunai throwing knives, but once she’s used six she has to go digging through her pouch to reload. She’s good enough with those things to take out a soldier with a single throw, or to hit someone wrestling with an ally.'''

Wiz: She’s even skilled enough to knock someone out with the blunt end of the knife - and despite being in a crowded room, only one other person even saw her throw it. Once she even pinned the highly-trained Crimson Viper’s ponytail to a tree!

Boomstick: Kunai aside, Ibuki’s packing smoke bombs, fuse bombs, a handful of shuriken and this nifty little gliding kite that lets her float around and dive-bomb people like some kind of crazed ninja magpie.



Wiz: She also carries a camouflage blanket that allows her to blend in and conceal herself amongst trees and the like.

Boomstick: Oh, the fun I could have with something like that.

Wiz: But there’s one more weapon in Ibuki’s arsenal - ki.



Wiz: Ki is an energy that can be found in all living things, and martial artists like Ibuki have developed all kinds of techniques that take advantage of it.

Boomstick: It’s the stuff that lets Ryu do Hadoukens.

Wiz: Pretty much. Ibuki’s attacks tend to be a bit more basic than Ryu’s, but don’t think for an instant that that makes them any less effective.

'Boomstick: She can slug someone in the gut with an energy-charged fist using Raida''. Or she can supercharge it and pull out her Yoroitoshi - a way stronger version that she can fire off as a projectile if she misses her first attack! But even that pales when compared to my favourite one… the Kachofugetsu!'''



Wiz: The Kachofugetsu is Ibuki’s Critical Art, and one of the most powerful moves in her arsenal. It’s a combo that starts by kicking an opponent into the air, then getting up and sending them crashing back to earth with a vicious blast of ki.

'''Boomstick: That’s as brutal as it is beautiful. It’s brutiful.'''

Wiz: Despite all her training, Ibuki is a long way from perfect. She’s often called out for losing her focus - at one point she almost walked straight off a cliff because she was talking on a cellphone!

'''Boomstick: Or there was that time Guy distracted her with a baked potato. She, uh, likes potatoes.'''

Wiz: But even with her flaws, there’s no denying that Ibuki is an extremely talented fighter.

Boomstick: This is one ninja you don’t want to mess with.

Ibuki: A ninja’s taught to walk hand-in-hand with death… I want to choose a different way.

Intermission
(cue music - Wiz & Boomstick)



Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!