Cad Bane vs Spike Spiegel

Cad Bane vs Spike Spiegel is a What-if? episode of Death Battle by ArtificialDragon, featuring Cad Bane from Star Wars and Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop.

Description
Star Wars vs Cowboy Bebop. Two professional bounty hunters and space Cowboys duke it out. Who will live and go home with riches and who will perish?

Interlude
Wiz: Cowboys. The lone gunslingers that roam the wild west, in search of adventure. Or just for wealth.

'''Boomstick: Hey Wiz, what's better than cowboys? F*@king Space Cowboys! Where instead of a plain old desert, they have the entire galaxy as their stomping grounds. Like Cad Bane: the Ex Greatest Bounty Hunter in the Galaxy.'''

Wiz: And Spike Spiegel: the former Hitman turned Cowboy of the Bebop

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

Cad Bane
Cue Hostage Crisis

Wiz: Throughout the galaxy, a new conflict had arisen. The Droid armies of the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Clone armies of the Galactic Republic battled for their respective ideologies, destroying many who were caught in the crossfire.

'''Boomstick: Though despite it being such a shitty period in galactic history, that didn't stop the galaxies bounty hunters and mercenaries from making a killing. Literally.'''

Wiz: There were many dangerous individuals that profited from the chaos of the Clone Wars. Such as the reptilian Bossk, the former Jedi Padawan Aurra Sing..

'''Boomstick: And even Greedo! The worst bounty hunter ever!! I mean how did he even last that long, just to be killed by a smuggler?!'''

Wiz: But amongst the literally colourful crowd of these fearsome killers, one stood out. The one who took the title of the Greatest Bounty Hunter in the Galaxy after the death of the Mandalorian Jango Fett. Cad Bane. Though before he became the most fearsome gunslinger-for-hire, the young Bane was born in the floating city of "New Tayana" located above his homeworld.

'''Boomstick: Basically he was raised in the ghetto, making a living out of killing low-level criminals. Hey someone's gotta start somewhere. '''

Wiz: But Bane sensing that war was over the horizon decided to leave his city to begin his life as a bounty hunter, swearing to never return.

'''Boomstick: And how did he begin this new career you may ask? Well, he decided it was a good idea to gain a reputation by hunting the most dangerous game. Jedi. Man, that's gotta be the most ambitious start to your resume. Like ever!'''

Wiz: Despite his outrageous goal and being new to the bounty hunting scene, Cad Bane was hired by a crime lord to eliminate a Jedi Knight that had been disrupting his operations. The rookie bounty hunter made the wise idea to analyse his target to see if it was the real deal.

'''Boomstick: But turns out this so-called "Jedi Knight", was nothing more but a well-equipped pretender. Being the professional Bane is, he allowed the thug to kill his client and then confronted the dude by politely asking where he could get that kind of badass equipment. '''

Wiz: And while Bane didn't get his chance to kill his first Jedi, he at least now had the right tools to tackle such quarry. This is where the legend of Cad Bane began.

Cue Cad Bane Lands

Boomstick: With his new gear in tow, Bane became a formidable bounty hunter taking on some really tough customers throughout his career including Clone Troopers, fellow Bounty Hunters, and the obvious Jedi Knight.

Wiz: Cad Bane while relatively skilled in hand-to-hand combat, preferred to attack his victims from a distance with his signature twin LL-30 Blaster Pistols.

Boomstick: Which makes the most badass sound you have ever heard!

Wiz: These pistols were custom made with a rare one-of-a-kind alloy which allows Bane to fire in rapid succession without fear of overheating. Which means he can overwhelm or at the very least, distract any opponent.

'''Boomstick: If two guns weren't enough he also carries hidden weapons on his person including a small concealed pistol, bolas, and variety of explosives such as the bounty hunter staple; the Thermal Detonator which has enough yield to obliterate an entire room. '''

Wiz: And if he wants to take out a Jedi without difficulty he has a hand-made carbine which fires rounds made of Cortosis ore. One of the few materials in the galaxy that is durable enough to resist and even disable lightsabers.

'''Boomstick: What the? If it's that strong then why doesn't he use that more often?'''

Wiz: Well as he states himself, the ore itself is very rare and expensive also it heats up the barrel, so its use is very limited.

'''Boomstick: Well that's fortunate for the Jedi. If everyone had possession of something like that, then the Order wouldn't even last a day.'''

Wiz: Anyway, aside from his side-arms Bane is packing an assortment of unorthodox and miniaturised equipment.

'''Boomstick: Based on a certain Jedi imitation, Cad has boots that are equipped with magnets, that grip him in place and jet thrusters that give him long term flight in low gravity environments. Giving Bane a significant aerial advantage.'''

Wiz: These thrusters despite their size are actually quite powerful, even one of these thrusters is capable of propelling Bane through the air. Though it should be noted that they can't support the weight of a second individual.

'''Boomstick: Amongst the bounty hunter's most bulky and obvious accessory is his twin wrist gauntlets. These babies contain everything from various control devices, a comlink, grappling cables to ensnare his targets, dart launchers, knockout gas, the sweet flamethrower, and even a freaking taser.'''

Wiz: Actually they are non-lethal contact stunners which can conduct a discharge that is powerful enough to knock out a Wookiee. Though they are more or less the same thing. All in all Bane's entire arsenal was picked specifically to match and even counteract the supernatural abilities of a Jedi Knight to make up for his lack of athletic prowess. For example those tubes on his cheeks? They allow him to continue breathing if he is force choked.

'''Boomstick: Wait! I thought force choking involves, you know, choking the throat?! So how the hell does that work?'''

Wiz: Umm, I really don't know. I chuck it up to Bane having a lack of being force choked?

Boomstick: Well, flawed assumptions aside Bane is not titled as the Greatest Bounty Hunter in the Galaxy with just being a walking armory.

Cue The Box

Wiz: Aside from being a crack shot, what makes him stand out from his colleagues is his keen strategic mind and is a natural born leader.

'''Boomstick: Bane is a cunning fighter and always makes sure to have a plan for every conceivable situation for the mission at hand, but he's also capable of improvising if need be. He's even wise enough to know that facing a skilled Jedi head on is a bad idea. '''

Wiz: His usual M.O when confronting any opponent is to analyse and then pinpoint their flaws. Such as taking advantage of the Jedi's overreliance of the force.

'''Boomstick: Wow! This guy would make a kickass chessplayer, well minus the boringness.'''

Wiz: Hey! What's wrong with chess?

'''Boomstick: You just sit there all day, moving random statues! There's nothing exciting about it! Where's the action, where's the blood?!'''

Wiz: *sigh* Well with his skill Bane has more than earned his title. He's skilled enough to kill a fully fledged Jedi Master, reacted to his own laser fire at close range, endured a beating from prodigy Padawan Ahsoka Tano who's strong enough to take on Trandoshans, and he even caught the attention of Darth Sidious himself who assigned Bane to infiltrate the Jedi Temple to steal a Holocron.

'''Boomstick: He proved to be a tough opponent for Jedi Masters Obi-Wan Kenobi and Quinlan Vos, survived an encounter with a bloodthirsty Anakin Skywalker, took the entire Galactic Senate hostage, and even survived the Box, which is basically an obstacle course of doom for elite bounty hunters. Kind of a sad name, but that's my kind of fun! Count me in!!'''

Wiz: While Cad Bane is a deadly mercenary and specialised in killing Jedi, he is hardly flawless. Some of his intricate plans wouldn't work as well if some parts are foiled and he usually betrays his associates to ensure his own survival or success.

Boomstick: Also his choice of attire, though pretty awesome, makes him easy to spot in a crowd.

Wiz: Also ironically he depends a bit too much on his gadgets and should he be deprived of them, as unlikely as that might be, then he's basically defenseless.

'''Boomstick: Though still, even if you do catch him somehow, he will inevitably escape from confinement. Even under the noses of two Jedi Masters one of whom being Mace freaking Windu!!'''

Wiz: Which goes to show that when Cad Bane has his sights on you being a Jedi or otherwise there will be nothing stopping him from hunting you down, even to the edges of the galaxy.

'Cad Bane: Cad Bane at your service. I'll take on any job... for the right price.'

Spike Spiegel
Cue Cosmos

Wiz: In the year of 2021 humanity created the very first "Astral Gate", a hyperspace gateway meant to provide faster travel for space colonists.

Boomstick: But since this is anime tragedy quickly occurred, the halo piece malfunctioned, and the resulting explosion destroyed most of the moon into permanent space debris.

Wiz: This event would be known as the "Astral Gate Incident" and changed the course of human history. Debris from the moon would be pulled to Earth, destroying the surface and killing billions.

Boomstick: With enough um, moon rock coming down on Earth as frequently as rain the human race were ultimately forced to get the hell away from their planet and colonise the entire Solar System, of course with better and less explosive gates.

Wiz: But even after fifty years of colonising where ever society went, crime was never far behind. In response to this, the "Inter-Solar System Police" being the corrupt lazy organisations that they are, set up a legal contract system aka making Bounty Hunting legal.

'''Boomstick: Hell ya! That's what I'm talking about! I now know what my dream job is. '''

Wiz: These legalised killers would bring in criminals for a good sum of money paid in return. These bounty hunters were nicknamed "Cowboys" and none embody those names more than; Spike Spiegel.

Cue Rush

Boomstick: Though this guy at first glance may look like your average afro styled punk who has an obsession with smoking and eating ramen, there's way more to him than meets the eye.

Wiz: Spike Spiegel was born in the slums of Mars, staking out on his own as a thief until he was taken in by the Red Dragon Syndicate. Despite his age he quickly climbed up its ranks, becoming one of their top enforcers alongside his friend and rival Vicious

Boomstick: A dude who ripped off Sephiroth and obviously isn't good, because who gives their kid that name without them becoming evil?

Wiz: Both were chosen candidates to succeed as the leader of the Red Dragon Syndicate, though Spike had no ambition to lead a criminal organisation and had fallen for Vicious' girlfriend; a mysterious woman named Julia.

Boomstick: Probably not the wisest move Spike has made, but then again I wouldn't blame him for falling for a smoking hot blonde like her.

Wiz: Wanting to restart his life anew with Julia, Spike faked his own death and waited for Julia at a cemetery. But she never showed up.

'''Boomstick: Women right? Understandably pretty distraught, Spike ended their relationship and once again was all alone in a cruel universe.'''

Wiz: With his criminal life behind him Spike met the former ISSP officer Jet Black along the way and both pursued the life of Bounty Hunting on Black's ship, the Bebop.

Cue Tank!

'''Boomstick: Throughout their adventures, the duo hunted down various bounties, pay for the collateral damage they left in their wake, and even meet new crew members along the way. A sexy con artist named Faye, the eccentric child hacker Ed, and a dog....Ok then.'''

Wiz: And Spike would not be going in tackling bounties without the bare essentials.

'''Boomstick: He is equipped with his trusty Jericho 941 R as his trademark weapon. This little beauty can fire 9mm or .41 action express rounds and also has a nifty laser sight on the side, perfect for making more accurate shots.'''

Wiz: But should Spike find himself way over his head with a certain target, he's not afraid to come in with additional weaponry.

'''Boomstick: These include a secondary sidearm to duel wield alongside his Jericho, a hidden knife, manually detonated C4 and a couple of hand grenades. '''

Wiz: Aside from his small arsenal, Spike got himself a cybernetic right eye during an accident which increases his perception and accuracy.

'''Boomstick: Now this dude has a robot eye too? Awesome!'''

Wiz: But Spike doesn't only depend on his standard loadout.

Boomstick: Like Jason Bourne, if he doesn't have any equipment on hand he can use the items in the immediate environment as a weapon.

Wiz: And being a former thief he is also adept in the Sleight of Hand technique. This allows him to win card games or more practically slip objects onto people without them noticing.

Boomstick: Remind me to learn that technique for future poker games!

Wiz: Don't you fucking dare, Boomstick! *ahem* He's also a fan of the late Bruce Lee and as such is a proficient martial artist.

Boomstick: More specifically he's skilled in Jeet Kune Do, a martial art that Mr Lee himself invented.

Wiz: This fighting style was created from the philosophies of the late martial arts master. Unlike more flashy styles, it's much more practical in combat situations and allows a practitioner to flow like water using their opponent's own strengths against them.

'''Boomstick: Spike is also experienced in Kick Boxing, through his preference of well...kicking. Anyway, with these two methods, Spiegel is one mighty fighting machine capable of beating the crap out of anyone. Oh not to mention he is a master marksman, you could probably tell by all the times he shot the guns out of people's hands. With accuracy like that, he could dominate at a shooting gallery if he really wanted to.'''

Wiz: Spike despite being a normal human has incredible durability and strength. He has been able to send people flying with his punches and kicks and can shrug off a punch to the face like it was nothing.

'''Boomstick: That's cute, but this guy has done a lot more than that. He was tough enough to take a bullet to the stomach followed by being stabbed in the shoulder by a throwing knife and kept on fighting and even survive the shockwaves of explosions.

Wiz: He is able to dent a metal pipe with a single punch and has even knocked over this creepy animatronic animal with only a couple of kicks.

'''Boomstick: Suck it Freddy Fazbear!! '''

Cue The Real Folk Blues

Boomstick: With these asskicking skills and abilities the young bounty hunter has done a lot of crazy shit.

Wiz: He's skilled enough to get the drop on a group of bounty hunters that infiltrated the Bebop, fight better than a veteran military officer, and survive in the vacuum of space for roughly 40 seconds.

'''Boomstick: He fought on par with a thug jacked on Red Eye, a super drug that allows the user to react to gunfire, Spike can dodge bullets from multiple sources and at close range, and most impressively took down the insane super soldier; the Mad Pierrot a dude who has a shit ton of weapons, a kinetic shield, and gives gravity the middle finger. He had eventually killed his long-time rival Vicious and much of the Red Dragon Syndicate singlehandedly'''

Wiz: But not before said rival killed Julia after she reunited with Spike after so long because she originally didn't want to kill the man she loved on Vicious' orders...long story.

Boomstick: *Sigh* well at least she is not as complicated as my ex.

Wiz: Despite his weaponry and skills, Spike is not without his flaws. Most importantly he is extremely lazy and is hardly motivated, except when fighting. Also, he isn't really prepared for anything at any given time. When he goes out to find a bounty he usually throws himself head first without knowing where to begin which may get him into even more trouble. The only reason he comes out on top is because of pure dumb luck and his sheer tenacity.

Boomstick: Hey at least he is doing what he does best and that is going with the flow.

Wiz: Not exactly the best way to approach a situation, though he has proven himself to be a capable planner when he gets serious. He has, after all, always stayed one step ahead of the Red Dragon Syndicate during his bounty hunting career, can predict his opponent's next moves in a fight, and has even nearly defeated Jet in a game of Japanese Chess.

'''Boomstick: God dammit! Now I really regret talking about that stupid game! Boring board games aside I'll give Spike credit, he knows how to sent the bad guys packing while looking slick the entire time. '''

Spike Spiegel: Whatever happens, happens.

Interlude
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all

'''Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!! Cowboy style!'''

Death Battle
The scene is shot in the cities of a metropolitan area with flying cars and cargo ships coming and going. On top of one building, Cad Bane observes the streets below. He pulls out a holographic device from his pocket and activates it showing the cloaked figure of his client.

Darth Sidious: I have a new job for you, bounty hunter. I have recently received intelligence that an infiltrator has stolen files of...classified information.

Cad Bane: Hmm, it looks like you may need to be careful of how you handle your secrets, old man.

Darth Sidious: That doesn't concern you, Bane. You are only hired to kill, not to ask questions.

Cad Bane: Sure, sure. So who will I be killing today?

Darth Sidious: Jedi Master Dyfeous, a specialist on the criminal underworld. As far as we know he has yet to understand the importance of his findings. Fortunately, he is holed up at a nearby cantina, find him and bring him to me...alive.

Cad Bane: Alive? That's going to be tricky, better a dead Jedi than one who can still fight back. But if that's what you want then I will triple my usual rate.

Darth Sidious: It will be done. Now make haste, he will not stay there forever.

Bane turns off the hologram and starts making his way to the cantina. As he approaches he notices dead bodies and destroyed vehicles laying around. The path of destruction leads to a dead end in an alley. Bane observes it and then looks up. At the top of the building, Spike is putting zip tie cuffs on a bruised old man in Jedi robes.

Spike Spiegel: Damn, I knew your old but I didn't figure you would be a god damn ninja. At least the woolongs will be worth it.

Master Dyfeous: You do not know what you are doing. Let me go now!

Spike Spiegel: Look I really don't care, we all need to make a living one way or another. And you are worth a lot of money, just enough to finally pay off all those collateral damage charges, not to mention repairs on the Bebop's drive engines...

As Spike keeps talking a cable wraps around the Jedi's leg and he gets pulled out of Spike's grasp.

Spike Spiegel: Hey!

Spike looks behind to see who stole his quarry. Cad Bane stands above his target and administers a syringe into the old man's neck, knocking him out.

Spike Spiegel: You better not have killed him, the reward is worth nothing if he's dead.

Cad Bane: Relax, I have only given him a dosage of sedatives, he'll be out for a while. I need him alive as well.

Spike Spiegel: Well sorry blue-skinned freak. He's my bounty and I'm not sure if you noticed, but I'm pretty sure I have first dibs.

Cad Bane: Normally I don't steal others bounties, but my client is willing to pay a lot for him. Tell you what, since you went through the trouble of taking down this Jedi, I can split the reward 50/50. Everyone wins.

Spike Spiegel: Hmm, tempting, but no deal I don't work with scum like you.

Cad Bane: One bounty hunter to another kid, walk away and maybe I won't fill you up with laser bolts.

Spike Spiegel: How about I fill you with lead?

Cad Bane: You are making a huge mistake threatening me.

Spike Spiegel: Oh trust me, I get that a lot.

Cad Bane: Hmph, it's your funeral.

Both cowboys hover their hands over their holstered weapons as they stare each other down. It is silent with the exception of the passing cars below them.

Fight!