Tourettes Guy VS Angry Cat Man

"Tourettes Guy vs. Angry Cat Man" is a "What-If?" battle. -

Introduction: -

Wiz: YouTube has been around since... god knows how long. But the majority is that YouTube now-and-days, is now acting like a total cunt.

Boomstick: And these two are experts at acting like cunts!

Wiz: And this time, these "experts" are gonna fight like it's no tommorow! "Tourettes Guy vs. Angry Cat Man"!

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who will win a DEATH BATTLE. -

Tourettes Guy: -

Wiz: Under the alias, "Tourettes Guy" Danny Walters had suffered from Tourettes Syndrome for almost 30 years and apparently for us... he has a brain-span of a dog.

Boomstick: 30 years he suffered from that mental illness?! Damn! That's almost how I cook corndogs in the microwave!

Wiz: Born in February 24th, 1964 and lives in Columbus Ohio, Danny was confirmed, by the initial rumors, to be dead by a car crash.

Boomstick: But in video-after-video, Tourettes Guy is still alive, and the rumors are A- Number 1 "False"!

Wiz: Tourettes Guy loves eating Biggie Fries, Frosted Flakes, and drinking beer, so don't talk shit about Total brand cerial.

Boomstick: Mm-MM! Wiz your making me want to get a bite down at Longhorn!

Wiz: Tourettes Guy used to be the voice of Tony the Tiger before he became the one and only, "Tourettes Guy". His rise to fame still lives on to this very day.

Boomstick: He has many weapons for this Death Battle, including a broom, beer bottles and cans (that he can throw like gernades), and... a shoe?! What's he gonna do with that, smell the stench inside and become the incredible Hulk?!

Wiz: Tourettes Guy will use anything as a weapon, and yes Boomstick, even his own shoe. Tourettes Guy can be very dangerous if he gets too pissed to give a shit, though, it makes him more unpredictible. Tourettes Guy is a man that takes YouTube by storm, but yet he lacks intelligence, which could mean his downfall if he's not careful.

Tourettes Guy: OH SHIT!!! [swings open bathroom door] Shit! -

Angry Cat Man: -

Wiz: Nobody knows where he came from or why he abuses his cats, but the Angry Cat Man has many names like: "Yelling at Cats Guy", "Cat Abuser", "Crazy Cat Guy", so on and so forth.

Boomstick: He has many names like as if he was God himself!

Wiz: He first debuted in March 12th, 2006 under the name "Yelling at Cats". He went up to infamy, much like Tourettes Guy, but that's not all.

Boomstick: He has lots of copycats mimmicking his demented work!

Wiz: Peopole started doing parodies about the Angry Cat Man when the yelling at cats video got more and more popular as time progressed. Making him the evil bastard that many wish to be.

Boomstick: He doesn't have any weapons at all, he just has that damn video camera!

Wiz: Indeed. The Angry Cat Man has no weaponry, but his does have hand-to-hand combat; making him the "Brian Pillman" of the YouTube genre.

Boomstick: Don't forget that he gets unlucky when his opponent gets the better of him. Maybe he should've been pumpin' iron!

Wiz: Angry Cat Man is a weakling, but more of a loud mouth. He can scream, and scream, and never take a break.

Boomstick: Won't he ever shut up?!

Angry Cat Man: FUCK YOUU!!! -

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLLLLLEEEE!!! -

Death Battle: -

Location: Tourettes Guy's House.

[Cue: Hall of The Mountain King - Kevin Macleod]

Tourettes Guy is talking on the phone with his doctor in the living room.

Tourettes Guy: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Dammit!! Holy Shit! PISS!!

Angry Cat Man can be heard next door to his house.

Angry Cat Man: (Distance) YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!

Tourettes Guy: Fuck! Dammit!! The hell is that shit?! You hear that shit?!

Angry Cat Man: (Distance) YOU ARE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!! YOU FUCKING PUSSY!!!

Tourettes Guy: Someone go find out where the fuck the noise is coming from!

Danny goes out to the neighbor's house and they saw eachother through the window.

Both: FUCK!!!

Angry Cat Man opens the window and throws the TV remote at Tourettes Guy.

Angry Cat Man: I'LL END YOU!!!

Tourettes Guy: OH YOU DUMBASS!!

FIGHT!!

Location: Angry Cat Man's House.

[Cue: Down With The Sickness: Instrumental - Disturbed]

Tourettes Guy bursts through the Angry Cat Man's window and hits him with a Lou Thez Press, but the madman monkey flips him off.

Angry Cat Man: DON'T FUCKING RUN AWAY FROM ME!!!

Tourettes Guy: Fuck you kid you are a dick!

Tourettes Guy throws beer bottles and cans at Angry Cat Man, but he dodges them and runs up to Danny to shove him to the ground with his shoulder. Tourettes Guy gets up and throws a sucker punch at his face.

Tourettes Guy: Son Of A Bitch!

Angry Cat Man leaps onto Tourettes Guy and punches Danny's face, but he grabs a nearby bottle and hits Angry Cat Man over the head with it. Tourettes Guy stumbles into the kitchen but Angry Cat Man isn't done with him yet. He jumps onto Tourettes Guy's back; knocking him forward.

Tourettes Guy: Aw Dammit! Shit!

Angry Cat Man: DON'T FUCKING GO IN MY CLOSET!!!!

Tourettes Guy: I don't give a shit! Shit! SHIT!!!

Tourettes Guy elbows Angry Cat Man in the jaw and Angry Cat Man knees him in the gut.

Tourettes Guy: Ouch! Motherfucker you hit me in the dick!

Tourettes Guy grabs a broom and starts swinging at Angry Cat Man, who stumbles to the living room.

Angry Cat Man: FUCK!!

Tourettes Guy: I'm getting sick and god damn tired of all these lutters, and POLLUTERS!!!

While Tourettes Guy swings at a vase after Angry Cat Man dodges his attacks, he grabs the broken beer bottle and stabs Tourettes Guy's stomach.

Tourettes Guy: Oh shit, OW!! Shit!!

Tourettes Guy punches Angry Cat Man and pulls it out, then he attempts to stab Angry Cat Man in the eye with it.

Angry Cat Man: YAAAH!!!!!

Tourettes Guy: EAT MY SHORT DICK!!

Angry Cat Man: DON'T FUCKING STARE AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Tourettes Guy: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

Tourettes Guy charges at Angry Cat Man; sending them both flying through the slide-door. Both stumble onto their feet and slowly punched eachother as they are bleeding to death. Angry Cat Man grabs a shovel and bashes Tourettes Guy in the head, who refuses to die.

Angry Cat Man: DO IT YOU BITCH, DO IT!!

Tourettes Guy: No!

Angry Cat Man: DO IIT!!!

Tourettes Guy: NO!!

Angry Cat Man: DO IIT!!!

Tourettes Guy: NO!!

Angry Cat Man: GET THE FUCK OUTSI-

Tourettes Guy: BUTT-FUUCK!!!!!

Tourettes Guy pounces onto Angry Cat Man and beats him with a crow-bar until his brains hang out of his head. Tourettes Guy stands up and drops the crow-bar, then gets in his lifeless face.

Tourettes Guy: Don't you EVER, TALK ABOUT MY DICK, WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!

KO!!!

Tourettes Guy drinks his beer while Angry Cat Man's corpse is tied to a telephone pole while a UPS guy butt-fucks him. -

Boomstick: THAT WAS THE GREATEST, THAT WAS THE GREATEST!!

Wiz: Angry Cat Man may have tried to emotionally shatter Tourettes Guy, but Danny's "Never-Say-Die" attitude and reckless behaviour had gotten the better of him. The Angry Cat Man may be unstabble, unhinged, and insane, Tourettes Guy can turn anything in site into a weapon; leaving Angry Cat Man with only one thing he can use against Tourettes Guy, his own weapons. Angry Cat Man grabs weapons out of Tourettes Guy's hands and use it against him.

Boomstick: But it looks like the cat's out of the bag!

Wiz: Indeed, Tourettes Guy uses brute streangth against Angry Cat Man; knowing he was of course, just another corpse left in the battlefield. And the winner is, "Tourettes Guy"!

Tourettes Guy: (Laughs) Your grandpa was an ass! (Laughs) -

In memory of: Derek "DiGi" Pence ~ The Yelling at Cats Guy himself!

March 5th, 1989 - January 13th, 2008