Crystal Gems Battle Royale

Crystal gems Battle Royale Is the first Episode Of Frankete's Death Battle, and is being adopted by everyone else. Expect the first analysis to be long, folks.

INTRO
(Cue Wiz and Boomstick)

''JA: Among the stars is a planet called Homeworld, where sentient beings called Gems preside, and for 5000 years, a war broke out between its rulers, the Diamond Authority, and the rebels known as... the Crystal Gems.''

BMS: And today, straight from Earth, we've got 8 (or 9) of these Crystal Gems - and a human surprisingly enough - ready to rock it out.

Wiz: Garnet, the holy union of Ruby and Sapphire.

JA: Pearl, Rose Quartz's extremely loyal protector.

BMS: Amethyst, the short but wild quartz gem from the Kindergarden.

Wiz: Bismuth, the gem war blacksmith.

JA: Lapis Lazuli, the magic mirrored survivor of the Gem War.

BMS: Peridot, the former dorito technician of Yellow Diamond.

Wiz: Jasper, the revenge-driven rival of Rose Quartz.

JA: And of course, Steven Universe, the son of Rose and protector of Beach City.

BMS: Plus, for extra credit on Steven's end, Connie Maheswaren, his best jam bud and Pearl's protege.

Wiz: As always, no outside help is allowed during the brawl, and every episode, including the pilot and non-canon crossover episode "Say Uncle", up to the Season 5 Finale along with the "Light" video game series (Attack, Save) will be used for the analysis.

JA: Also, it's no secret that when gems fuse, they can be near unstoppable, so with the exception of Garnet (Ruby x Sapphire) and Stevonnie (Steven x Connie), no other fusions will be included in the bout.

'''BMS: Just a good-ole-fashioned free-for-all between Earth's mightiest heroes...or rather heroines, with um...(cut to Steven in a dress)..."exceptions". They're JA and Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.'''

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Garnet (Ruby and Sapphire)
(Cue theme)

Wiz: Back on Homeworld, the Diamond authority asserted dominance in almost every way. Each Diamond had her own court consisting of several servant gems, including their bodyguard Pearl units, their Ruby soldiers, and Sapphires, who had future vision.

'''BMS: Basically slaves. Come on, we can't sugarcoat this. I mean, these Pearls don't even have face expressions. Except this one (cut to Yellow Pearl). Ugh. That meme face. Oh, and the Rubies? Common cadets fighting for a cause that would later be falsified. Sucks to be them. But the Sapphires? Walking crystal balls.'''

''JA: But we'll get to the Pearls later, for this section of analysis is solely for the Ruby and Sapphire units, specifically one of the Rubies in Blue Diamond's court who would change her fellow Sapphire's fate forever. ''

BMS: Long story short, that "future vision" let Sapphire see any and all future events to watch for any threats to her Diamond, including a certain rebel gem and her Pearl looking to liberate Homeworld of control.

Wiz: And when said gems ambushed the court, Sapphire was trying to warn Blue of the attack. However, as she was about to be struck by Rose's Pearl, one of Blue's Rubies jumped towards Sapphire to save her.

JA: See, this Ruby was actually quite interested in Sapphire, and once she jumped in to protect her "crush", she and Sapphire performed what was considered on Homeworld to be quite taboo - fusion.

'''BMS: What's so taboo about it? I've seen plenty of Rubies bundle up together into a behemoth, and you don't see me complaining.'''

''JA: That's actually considered a "normal" fusion, which two or more of the same type of Gem merge together with their strengths and personalities. However, the kind that Ruby and Sapphire did was considered forbidden as it involved two different kind of Gems, thus creating an "off-color".''

BMS: Oh, so the Diamonds are racist.

Wiz: Oh, without a doubt. So after this sudden transformation, this new fusion was shunned by the court, forcing her to go on the run...off a high platform and into the forest far below.

''JA: Talk about "falling expections", and that's a BIG falling. Ehem, dumb pun aside, this was how this fusion came to be known as Garnet.''

(cue theme)

'''BMS: After walking around in the woods for a while like Wolverine on a nature hike, Rose and Pearl eventually found Garnet and recruited her for their fighting cause, and man, was she up for some payback. She's super fast, super strong, and can handle most Gem beings with no trouble at all. Plus, as a fusion, she inherits both Ruby and Sapphire's abilities, meaning she can change the temperature around her and even see way more future possibilities than any Sapphire ever could.'''

Wiz: She can also make magical gauntlets to aid her in combat. These can be changed in size depending on the matter at hand and can even sprout out some very sharp brass knuckles to inflict more damage.

'''BMS: That's some killer bling! She must tear through a lot of fan mail. '''

''JA: And like Mister Fantastic or Helen Parr aka Elastigirl, she can stretch her arms out to any length she wants via a special ability known and usable by most gems - shape-shifting. She can also transform her outfit into, um...some really interesting beachwear.''

Wiz: But she definitely prefers to stay in her usual attire, along with some special visors, which somehow enhances her control of the future vision.

'''BMS: With all of these abilities, she was a powerful asset in the 5000 year gem war. Too bad it didn't end the way that Rose intended.'''

Wiz: Right. Turns out that Rose "shattered" one of the Diamonds, Pink, who at the time had control of Earth, and this resulted in the war reaching a breaking point when the other 3 diamonds shot a blast so strong, it seemingly destroyed the rest of the Crystal Gem army, leaving only Rose, Garnet, and Pearl.

''JA: Well, at least Amethyst made it. Oh, and the Earth was safe...until gem creatures begin sprouting up around the globe to cause havoc, thus forcing the current Crystal Gems to find and deform them all.''

(cue theme)

'''BMS: Buuuut then things became complicated when a human rocker, Greg Universe, came around their Gem's base, fell in love with Rose, and eventually made a baby with her. The problem? Gem bodies can't handle having human babies in their bodies, but instead of aborting the infant, Rose had to give up her physical form to bring him to the world, whom we get to know as Steven. '''

Wiz: Even after that, Garnet took it upon herself to act as leader of the team, even going so far as to help Steven train while he grew up, and did a pretty good job doing it.

''JA: I'll say. She's battled and bubbled plenty of gem beasts, held her own against a water clone of herself, survived a cluster assault, 'hugged' Peridot into submission, and even went toe-to-toe with Gem War General Jasper herself, who's powerful enough to shake canyons after ramming into them!''

'''BMS: She's also so crafty that she's managed to evade the likes of DBZ Ronaldo, the uptight Holly Blue, and the villain form "CN: Crossover Nexus", Strike. X marks the spot, X-Man. Oh wait, that Ronaldo thing was not real. Darn it, I want a onion ring platter now.'''

(Cue theme)

Wiz: Later, BMS. Ahem, she also has some impressive endurance. During her fight with Jasper, she was rammed through the main floor of Peridot's ship to the nuclear core room. While the distance between floors is unknown, we do know that the floor and the filled interior between rooms were made with substances presumingly as strong as titanium.

''JA: Finally, an actual substance that isn't stronger than the big "t". Although, there may be something around in Steven's world that could be.''

Wiz: So, for Jasper to bust Garnet through the floor, and assuming the floor material is pure titanium, she would need to deliver a force push more than 63,000 psi.

'''BMS: That's some strong s%&t! And Garnet just took it and got back up literally 15 seconds later...while singing. What a boss!'''

''JA: But despite this massive power, Garnet's not invincible. Enough brute force - or even an emotional breakdown - can split Garnet apart back into Ruby and Sapphire. Also, she, like most gems, are extremely vunerable to gem destabilizers, which can deform gems or gem fusions in an instant. This resulted in Garnet reforming twice throughout the whole series.''

Wiz: What's more, her future vision isn't always helpful. There are lots of potential outcomes in every fight she ends up seeing, and thus it's up to her to decide which one to work towards, but it's easier said than done.

''JA: Regardless, the strongest thing about Garnet is the power of Ruby's and Sapphire's relationship. The more they care for each other, the stronger Garnet becomes. And fortunately for the fanbase, the two made their bond even more official and more romantic with an fantastic Earth wedding, making Cartoon Network one of the few channels to break the barrier for LGBT viewers everywhere. Oh, and we even got Ruby into a dress. Bonus!''

'''BMS: Two rocky girls, one very somewhat smooth wedding. Following CN's first "official" onscreen lesbo kiss and the debut Garnet's newfound tuxedo-dress combo outfit, she helped the Gems hold their own against two of the Diamonds, Blue and Yellow, when they starting raiding the Earth themselves.'''

Wiz: Just goes to show that nothing can ever stop Garnet from fighting for peace, love, and -

''JA: Awesome musical numbers! What? They're are.''

(cut to Jailbreak scene between Jasper and Garnet)

Jasper:  ''Oh great, you're both out? And you're fused again? Why? Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak Gems stronger. Quit embarrassing yourselves! I've seen what you really are! ''

Garnet: (chuckles) No you haven't.