Thread:Dio the Ludicolo/@comment-27070091-20160912202601/@comment-27517770-20160912230012

Harambe the mighty! Harambe the unerring! Harambe, the unassailable! To you we give our dicks! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once ape! Aye! And as ape, you said, "Let me show you the power of Harambe, born of Africa, where my breath is long summer. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Child, for I love you!!" Aye, love. Love! Even as ape, great Harambe cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of America! The future of THE WOLRD! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of the ape! And Harambe is the true god of Apes! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Zoo overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With ape? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they shoot our god. But what of tomorrow? What then? Does the zoo shoot your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Government do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Zookeeper! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of Harambe! Rise up, Silverbacks! Embrace the word of mighty Harambe, he who is both ape and Divine! For we are the children of ape! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Zoos or their toadies, will rule Cincinnati! Forever! Terrible and powerful Harambe! We, your unworthy servants, give our dicks! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our dicks you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Harambe, not as god, but as ape! Trust in me, Cincinnati! Trust in the words of Dio the Ludiclo! For I am the chosen of Harambe! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!