User blog:Fedora Lord Para 348/Para gets hit with the Penance Stare

Alright, guys. I've realized some things about myself, some things I've wanted to address now.

So, it's taken me a good while, but I've realized that I am a horrible person. I'm a total dick. I'm irredeemable scum. There is nothing I can do on this wiki to turn myself into someone who can be made better. Don't any of you guys try to tell me otherwise, that is not the point of this. None of you go in the comments saying things like "Oh but I like you Para! I think you're nice!  You haven't done anything to me!" No. That's not the point of this blog. Tell me somewhere else. Somewhere in private. Somewhere those who absolutely want Ghost Rider to hit me with the Penance Stare don't have to live under the illusion that I'm actually a good person.

Look, I know I've been a dick. I've shoved my own views of VS Debating down your throats, I've constantly made fun of characters I didn't like, I've shamelessly fed my own ego, I've acted like I was any better at debating or writing than anyone here, I've treated other users here like crap, and I've overall done a terrible job as an admin. And you know what?

I'm sorry.

I know I've said those words too many times to be redeemed at this point. And honestly even though I'm asking for forgiveness, I don't blame you guys if you're unable to. I'm really sorry to those of you I've wronged, or angered, or saddened, or just made feel like crap. I know I've done wrong, and I know that I'm past the point of redemption. I'm asking for a little too much here, from some people who know better at this point. I just, I'd like to ask for forgiveness. And this time I really do mean it. I really will try to improve myself here.

I'm sorry for constantly belittling those who believe Kirby is above Planet. (if you would like to debate me on that, take it to PM. And I won't belittle or mock you for anything; I'll keep it civil.)

I'm sorry for my "SOLOES RWBY LOLOLOLOLOLOL!" comments.

I'm sorry for trying to feed my ego at all the wrong moments, or at all really.

I'm sorry for belittling you guys and just making you feel like crap.

I'm sorry for pushing some of you guys away from the wiki due to my behavior.

And now, I'd just really like to be forgiven. If you guys want to know why I constantly ask if my fights are good, it's because deep down I have really, REALLY bad self-esteem issues. Like, I really hate myself on some days. And I write because for once in my life, I'd found something that people actually thought I was good at. And I saw some other people who were good at it here too, and I loved reading your guys' works. Even if the outcome wasn't correct, the fights were generally really fun.

Am I leaving, no. Revoking my admin position, no. Because I'd like to give this another shot. I just need to prove that I can change. Because anyone can change. And I know that I'm probably beyond the point of redemption to most of you, but at the very least, I'm offering an apology. And one I'm not going back on this time.

But before I do, I'd like to give my apologies to some users here. If you aren't on this list, it's because I can't recall if I've wronged you or not. If I have, please let me know if I owe you an apology. Because I probably do.

Ahomeschoolingroudon: Dude, you're one of my best friends here, and we've had some really good times. From the meme train to reading each others' fights to Skype and Chatzy, you've just been a really cool guy to hang out with. I'm sorry that I've wronged you too, and just looked at your battles as mountains for me to surmount. They're not. They're really freaking awesome battles that people should learn from, not try to surpass with each fight. Yusuke vs. Dante was freaking awesome and so was your entire season before that. Don't worry too much about going on hiatus; I understand we all need time sometimes. Don't forget, you'll always be one of my favorite writers here, and one of my best friends.

AgentHoxton: Man, you've always been a person I've gotten along with here. You've seriously gotten us out of some tough times in the past, and I don't know where we'd be without you. I'm just sorry for all the drama I've caused that you had to step in and save us from, and I'm sorry that I constantly say things that make you want to drink your problems away. I know I probably can't redeem myself in your eyes, but to me, you'll always be a great friend. And I know that I shoved VS down your throat, but I'm not going to do that anymore. Also, Raiden VS Lex was absolutely fantastic. Haven't gotten around to Eden VS Ruby but I'm sure that is too.

Chesknight: Dude, you are one of the coolest guys I've met. I know that some things I've said have fueled your temper, and I know we don't always agree on what verses are the best, but you're a friend to me nonetheless. I know you got really mad at me a while back, and I know you probably never will 100% forgive me, but I'd just like to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've bashed Fairy Tail in the past, and I'm not going to treat the series the way I did anymore. Also, X VS Samus was still one of the best fights I've read here, and I look forward to all of your future works.

WarpyNeko930: Oh man, Warpy. I think you deserve the biggest apology here. I've called you my best friend before, and even my DBF waifu. But I know that I'm a really horrible person and you staying my friend has probably taken a toll on you. I mean, I've bashed RWBY, I've bashed Fairy Tail, I've belittled you for Kirby stuff, and I've just overall been a massive dick to you. I'm really sorry that I acted like the verses I liked were way better than the ones you did, and I'm sorry for the way I've treated you on chat, and on the DBF wiki, and I'm especially sorry that every time I was able to make you forgive me so you could relive that torture all over again. Some best friend I am... I'm a fucking horrible person, and you're a really good friend that deserves way better. I'm really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. For real this time. I'm not going to make you feel like crap any longer, but if you've learned from past experiences and decided that you never want to be my friend again, I understand. By the way, you have some of the best fights here too. Say what you will about Zoro VS Erza, but it was a lot of fun and I loved it. Definitely my inspiration for Erza VS Saber.

Shadow7615: Ah, Shadow. Then there's you. I know you haven't seen as much of this as everyone else, but I know I haven't always been so good to you either. You were my first friend on this website, and you're still one of my best friends to this day. You've always been nice and supportive to me, even when I didn't deserve it. You're like a perfect cinnamon roll of this world, Shadow. And basically one of the greatest people I've met here. Like, here I am making people feel like crap, and you've been kind enough to say encouraging words to everyone and help people with their lives. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met, and you certainly never deserved to be a part of any of the horrible things I've done. I always look forward to your fights, but by far my favorite so far was Zelda vs. Lucina. But of course, every single one of them is a treasure. Thanks Shadow, and I hope we can still be friends.

BonBooker: I know you've stayed out of all this more than the others, but I know I've wronged you too man. We haven't interacted as much as everyone else, but you're a really cool person too. I just wish I'd been better to you too, during the few times I got to hang out with you. I know you haven't written a lot of fights, but Samus vs. Master Chief and Trunks vs. Silver come to mind. Great job with those! I'll see you later, my friend.

MagicRock: Alright, I know you basically hate me at this point, but I'd like to apologize to you too. I'm sorry for my constant RWBY bashing, and for making fun of your waifu, which is something no good person should ever do. Anyway, you're a really fun guy to be around, and one of the best Pokemon Trainers I've seen. I think you've also written some awesome battles (Ness VS Isaac, first and foremost) and I've had some good times with you. I know you hate me and probably will never accept any apology of mine, but I'm sorry. And no matter what, you're a friend to me.

TrashtaChief2003: So I know we've had a fair amount of disputes in the past, but I remember a time when we were good friends. I'm sorry about everything I've done to you, and I know things really can't be easy for you either. Like Bon we haven't had a lot of time to interact, but I'd just like to say that we've had some great times. I haven't read a lot of your battles yet, but I'm sure they're pretty good. Thanks, and I'm sorry.

Nkstjoa: Like Shadow, you've generally been one of the nicest-spirited people here. Maybe you've had some lapses of that, but you've learned. You were the face of the wiki when you were the top admin, and it's sad to see you not have that position anymore. I know you have life and whatnot going on, but you've been a great friend to me too. I'm sorry if I've ever caused you trouble like the others.

Derpurple: We've already discussed this in PM, and you've told me that I cannot redeem myself to you at this point, but I'd just like to tell you that even if I'm not a friend to you, you're a friend to me. You've had some really good battles and we've had some good times. I know that you've called me out on many things here in the past, not the least of which being my massive ego, but I know it's all stuff that can help me become a better person. Even if you can never see me as a friend again, just know that when I do improve myself, that you were a big part of it, okay? Maybe one day you can try to forgive me, but I won't force anything. Thanks for listening to me earlier today. And Captain Falcon VS Ryu is still one of my favorite fights here.

Saikou the Lewd King: I'm really, REALLY sorry for what I've said to you too. I know I've seriously irritated you by what I've said about Kirby and whatnot, and for debating with you about things in that irritating way that I always do. We've had some really good times on Chatzy and PM, but I know that I've driven you away from this wiki. I know that like Derp, you can never truly forgive me either. But regardless, you've been a great friend to me and I'm sorry that I didn't treat you like I should have. I looked forward to your Druella fights, and Guts VS Black Rock Shooter along with Godzilla vs. SCP-682 were good fights. Along with Derp, when I do improve, just know you were a big contributor to it. Thank you.

GalacticAttorney: I know that you probably hate me too, but I don't see you around that often anymore. So I'll just say, I'm really sorry for what I've said about RWBY and whatnot. I'm sorry about constantly debating you and treating everything like it was fact. I know I'm probably irredeemable in your eyes, but I just hope we can get things back on track, even if it's impossible to do. Popeye VS Mighty Mouse was a good fight, with an unexpected outcome, and Daredevil vs. Phoenix Wright might not have had a conclusion I agreed with, but I had a lot of fun reading it. I'll see you, man.

ArachnoGia: Like Shadow and Nk, you put up with a lot of crap. A lot of my crap, no less. And yet you're still my friend and you still hang out with me and talk with me about fights and whatnot. You're a really commendable person, you know that? And I'm really glad for the time we've had. I'm sorry that you had to put up with all the drama I put out and I hope we can get things back on track too. Also Paul Blart VS Yandere-chan was fantastic, along with Mewtwo vs. Tetsuo Shima. I'm glad to have another Fate fan here, and I like hanging out with you on Skype. I'll see you, man.

Anyway, that's what I can think of right now. I'm probably missing more than a few people, but I'll probably get back to this and add them in later. Thanks to all of you who went and read this. Will I come back, yeah. But when I do, I'm coming back a new man. I'll see you guys later (probably not leaving for very long), and yes, I have sinned. But I'll try to rebuild myself in any way I can.