PMMM Magical Girl Battle Royale

Description
Madoka, Homura, Sayaka, Mami and Kyoko meet in a five-way duel to the death? Which Puella Magi Madoka Magica will emerge with her Soul Gem intact?

Introduction
Spider: In the world of Puella Magi Madoka Magica, the only thing standing between innocent humans and the terrifying monsters called witches: the Magical Girls.

Pixie: Kaname Madoka, Akemi Homura, Sayaka Miki, Tomoe Mami, and Kyoko Sakura. Brace yourself, weeaboos, because we’re going to find out which of your tragic, magic waifus reigns supreme!

Spider: I’m Spider.

Pixie: And I’m Pixie!

Spider: And it’s our job to analyze their power, abilities and skills to determine who would win a Death Battle.

Madoka
Pixie: Before we go any further, I want to make it clear that all five of our combatants will be limited to their base forms for the sake of fairness. So no Goddess Madoka or Demon Homura or Octavia Sayaka or any of that other silly, over-powered crap. Okay? Okay.

Spider: Madoka was an ordinary middle school girl until her encounter with the mysterious, telepathic creature called Kyubey.

Pixie: What is Kyubey, anyways? A cat? A rabbit? Some kind of squirrel?

Spider: Actually, Kyubey is an Incubator, a creature capable of granting the wishes of women and harnessing the energy of their hope and despair in order to stop entropy from destroying the order of the universe.

Pixie: …I’m gonna pretend I totally got that.

Spider: Kyubey told Madoka that he could grant her any wish, but only if she agreed to become a Magical Girl and fight witches.

Pixie: Which are basically twitchy, reality-warping paper cut-outs that can mind-control people into committing suicide or murder. Makes the old ‘pointy hats, warts and cackling’ shtick seem pretty lame by comparison, doesn’t it?

Spider: As a Magical Girl, Madoka gained super-human durability, speed, reflexes and strength--

Pixie: --which is true of all the magical girls here, so we’re going to focus on the stuff that makes each one unique.

Spider: Madoka’s personal weapon is the Rose Branch Bow. She can summon this magical weapon from thin air, and can create as many magical arrows as she likes. She can also create explosive homing arrows, giant laser-arrows and scatter-shot arrows, which can essentially create a rain of arrows.

Pixie: Dang. A few more trick arrows in her quiver and she’d be a pink-haired, twin-tailed Hawkeye.

Spider: Madoka is also quite quick on the draw with her arrows, as we saw when in an alternate timeline where she shot Mami before Mami could kill Homura. She’s also agile enough to evade multiple attacks from witches at once, as we saw during her fight with Octavia when she dodged a barrage of giant wheels.

Pixie: While she’s pretty naïve, Madoka is great at keeping a cool-head, even in the face of certain death, and she never, ever gives up hope. She’s also clever enough to out-smart that sly bastard, Kyubey, and she ultimately succeeded in destroying Walpurgis Night and putting an end to the witches once and for all, a task that Homura never accomplished.

Spider: That said, Madoka does have her vulnerabilities. While her body is extremely durable, her soul is contained within her Soul Gem. Like all the other Magical Girls, she will die if her Soul Gem is shattered, and she’ll enter a comatose state if her soul-gem is moved more than 100 meters from her body.

Pixie: She might be young, but there’s nobody who embodies the power of hope quite like Madoka.

Homura
Spider: Akemi Homura was a shy and sickly girl. As a transfer student, she felt lost at her new school.

Pixie: And if that wasn’t bad enough, a witch nearly forced her to commit suicide. Thankfully, Madoka saved her at the last minute, which led Homura to fall head over heels in—

Spider: Which led Homura to become friends with Madoka.

Pixie: …Seriously though, those two are obviously lesbians. Just saying.

Spider Moving on! After watching Madoka die sacrificing herself to stop the world-ending witch known as Walpurgis Night, Homura wished to go back in time and re-do her meeting with Madoka. Kyubey granted this wish, and Homura became a Magical Girl.

Pixie: While the other magical girls tend to use a signature weapons, Homura strides into battle carrying her own personal armory, like a Magical Girl version of the Punisher.

Spider: Seriously though, why do you keep comparing the Magical Girls to Marvel characters?

Pixie: I’m planning a crossover where the Magical Girls meet the Avengers and a venom symbiote infects Kyubey. The Black Widow X Hitomi slash scene is going to be so steamy…

Spider (face-palms): Ugh… Homura primarily fights with bombs and grenades, though she has also has uzis, rocket-launchers, a katana and… golf-clubs. But Homura’s greatest asset is her ability to stop time. She can use this to dodge enemy attacks, or to make explosives seemingly appear out of thin air.

Pixie: In addition to being a time-stopping, gun-toting badass, Homura’s determination is incredible. She has gone back in time to save Madoka and fight the Walpurgis at least one hundred times! Every time she did this, she had to watch her friends suffer and die, but still, she persisted. For the sake of fairness, we’re going to have to veto Homura using her time-reset powers in this fight, but she’ll still be allowed to stop time.

Spider: Even with all her powers, Homura is not unstoppable. She never managed to defeat Walpurgis Night, and despite her time-stopping powers, she can be caught off guard. Ultimately, she nearly gave in to her despair, and had to be rescued by Madoka. Also, she tends to avoid direct confrontation with other Magical Girls, as seen with her repeatedly avoiding a fight with Mami.

Pixie: Still, she’s one of the most important players in the Madokaverse, and a force to be reckoned with.

Sayaka
Spider: Sayaka, Madoka’s best friend, was in love with Kyosuke, a young violinist who lost his ability to play due to an accident. Sayaka became a magical girl after wishing for Kyosuke’s health to recover, and was determined to become a ‘hero of justice’.

Pixie: Things… didn’t quite go the way she was hoping.

Spider: While Sayaka was initially fairly successful as a witch-slayer, she soon sank into despair when her love Kyosuke ended up romantically involved with her friend Hitomi.

Pixie: But hey, at least she got a brief run as a badass before that happened. Sayaka’s weapon of choice is the cutlass. In addition to carving up witches directly, Sayaka can summon as many cutlasses as she wants and even send them flying as projectile attacks. She’s also extremely fast, and thanks to the nature of her wish, her regenerative powers are even stronger than other girls.

Spider: This was seen when, after taking an injury from Kyoko that should have disabled her for months, she shrugged off the blow in a matter of seconds.

Pixie: But while Sayaka has her strengths, and even got to save Madoka’s butt from a witch, she’s reckless, and her insistence on doing the right thing doesn’t always help her. Plus, after losing Kyosuke to Hitomi, well… she kinda lost her shit.

Spider: Sayaka’s deteriorating mental stability upped her recklessness even further.

Pixie: There is a bit of a silver-lining here, though. All Magical Girls have the ability to completely shut out any feelings of pain, but Sayaka is the only girl who has actually done this in canon, basically turning herself into a psychotic, relentless, sword-swinging zombie. Let’s see here… recklessness, regeneration, psychotic blood-lust, tragic romantic failures and slicing up her enemies with blades? I think we just found our Magical Girl Wolverine.

Mami
Spider: Mami had little choice in becoming a Magical Girl. When her family was killed and she was mortally injured in a car crash, her only way to survive was to have Kyubey grant her wish to live.

Pixie: Mami’s a total badass in combat, combining ballet-esque evasive moves with an arsenal of magical muskets. She can fire her muskets or use them as clubs, and since she can magically create more of them at will, she never needs to stop and reload. She’s also got a bitchin’ finishing move called Tiro Finale, where she summons a gigantic musket to blast her foes to pieces.

Spider: Additionally, Mami can create and control magical ribbons to bind her foes in place. These ribbons are extremely fast and strong, and she was even able to trap and immobilize Homura on multiple occasions.

Pixie: Mami may have a lot of experience fighting witches, but her confidence can come back to bite her.

Spider: Mami’s carelessness is consistently shown as her greatest weakness. After her Tiro Finale failed to kill the witch Charlotte, Mami was too surprised to save herself, and was immediately decapitated and devoured. In another timeline, after killing Kyoko to stop her from becoming a witch, Mami was utterly blind-sided by Madoka and easily killed in a single hit.

Pixie: Plus, while she may seem very composed and gracious on the battlefield, she’s not quite right in the head, and that she’s been nursing a wicked case of Survivor’s Guilt ever since the accident. Still, you gotta hand it to any girl who can kick your ass with a ribbon and enjoy a cup of tea before you even hit the ground.

Kyoko
Spider: Kyoko’s father was a failed preacher. Because his teachings branched too far from the mainstream church, he failed to gather an audience, and Kyoko’s family struggled in poverty.

Pixie: Until one day, Kyubey showed up and granted Kyoko’s wish. From then on, people were magically compelled to listen to Kyoko’s father preach, and he gained a massive following while Kyoko went on to fight witches as a Magical Girl. Everything was great! Until Kyoko’s father found out that people were only listening to him because of his daughter’s magical wish. He took that… poorly.

Spider: Kyoko’s father murdered the rest of her family and committed suicide, leaving her to a lonely, thankless existence fighting Witches.

Pixie: Kyoko became cynical, selfish and a bit of a psycho. She would eventually soften up a little and become friends with Sayaka, but not before trying to kill her a couple of times.

Spider: Kyoko wields a magical spear that can transform into a blade-tipped chain. She is a very experienced and skilled warrior, and easily outclassed Sayaka in their first meeting. She can also summon a giant spear for heavy-duty attacks.

Pixie: Originally Kyoko was able to create copies of herself, but she lost that power after her family was killed. Instead, she gained the power to create red, magical walls that can serve as barriers. Even other Magical Girls like Homura have trouble breaking through these walls.

Spider: Despite her savvy and skill, Kyoko has her weak-points. She is extremely arrogant and aggressive, often seeking out conflict purely for her own amusement.

Pixie: She’s also a total tsundere for Sayaka.

Spider: …

Pixie: Oh come on, don’t give me that look! You know it’s true. How else do you explain her suddenly sacrificing herself to stop Witch Sayaka?

Spider: …While Kyoko is far from the typical idea of a Magical Girl, she’s a powerful and ruthless combatant, and not be trifled with.