User blog:Nkstjoa/Nkstjoa's Fanon One Minute Melee: The Joker vs. Green Goblin

Well I'm officially late to the One Minute Melee blog bandwagon, but now that I have a battle, I decided it was finally time.

Hope you don't mind me doing my own take on it Windindi.

The Joker vs. Green Goblin
In an alternate Metropolis policed by the Regime, the Joker stands atop a rooftop overlooking a squad of Regime soldiers patrolling the streets. He takes out a pair of chattering teeth and is about to toss it when he suddenly hears laughing nearby. He turns and sees the Green Goblin flying nearby on his glider and throwing a pumpkin bomb at the Regime soldiers below. A huge explosion results and though the remaining soldiers keep firing, the Goblin avoids it while returning fire with missiles. The Joker actually looks over this with glee and takes out a camera to take pictures of the carnage.

''Joker: Hello handsome! Smile!''

As the Regime soldiers lie dead, the Green Goblin prepares to leave when he sees the Joker waving to him from the building.

Joker: Helloooo.

He hovers near the building, looking at the Joker eye-to-eye.

''Joker: Funny meeting you here. I like your style.''

After the Joker's gesture, the Green Goblin laughs and floats slightly upward as the glider unleashes automatic fire. After watching the Joker fall, he and his glider slowly begin to turn away when he can't believe what he's hearing; the Clown Prince of Crime laughing. The Joker got right back up, appearing almost unphased by the rapid fire he had received at close range.

Joker: I should be dead!

The Joker then takes out a pistol and points it toward the hovering Green Goblin.

Joker: We need to talk.

FIGHT!

The Green Goblin flies off to avoid the Joker's incoming pistol fire. Despite aiming true with each bullet, the Joker's shots all fail to make their mark as the Goblin gracefully avoids it. The Green Goblin flies by the Joker and fires from his glider once again, but the Joker rolls to avoid it while picking out a card from under his sleeve. He tosses it toward the Goblin's backside, but he turns around and then dodges it ALA bullet-dodging. When he gets back up, the Joker has his pistol pointed at him again. He fires, but the Goblin turns to avoid it. The Joker begins to get frustrated.

Joker: Just die already!

The Green Goblin fires a rocket over at the Joker, who decides to run towards it and leap off of it. He pulls it off and soon lands on the glider with the Green Goblin. Caught by surprise, the Green Goblin quickly swings at him, but the Joker moves to his backside and then stabs him in the back with his knife before kicking him off of his glider.

Joker: Thanks for the ride.

The Joker tries to steer it, only to find the glider flipping over, causing him to fall downward. As the Joker falls toward the same rooftop, the glider zooms downward to catch the Goblin. It is successful and he decides to repay the Joker by firing missiles at the top of the rooftop. This causes the Joker to begin to lose his footing and then the Goblin tosses a pumpkin bomb at the stumbling Joker's feet. It goes off and the Joker flies upward into the air and then down towards the ground, leaving a huge crater. The Goblin circles around it and is stunned to see the Joker once again getting up.

Joker: Now that's funny.

He fires his pistols at the Goblin once again, as before to no affect. The Goblin prepares to throw two more pumpkin bombs at the Joker just as he grabs a canister of his laughing gas. He fires his pistol at both pumpkin bombs, detonating both before they could reach him and causing the Goblin to slightly stumble in his glider. Once he regains control, he sees the laughing gas canister heading towards him as the Joker fires another bullet, which hits its mark. The explosion knocks the Goblin off of his glider, which then crashes through a glass window. He stops his fall by grabbing onto a light post and swinging from it, but once he is about to land, the Joker knocks him to the ground with a swing from his crowbar.

Joker: Right in the belfry.

He then begins slamming the crowbar down on the Goblin repeatedly. He continues swinging, his last few swings closer to the head, when he is suddenly struck by something from behind: automatic fire from the Goblin's glider. The Green Goblin takes the opportunity to kick the Joker while quickly getting up.

Joker: They're love taps.

The Green Goblin doesn't take kindly to his taunt and begins punching and kicking the Joker rapidly, who can't seem to counter fast enough. He then steps on one of the Goblin's feet with his shoe, then a stiletto comes out from it, stabbing him. He quickly follows up with a swing from another canister of laughing gas, knocking him backward. As the Goblin turns to see his opponent, he is suddenly struck by a comical punching glove, which strikes with incredible force, knocking him farther away. He takes out his pistol once again and is about to fire it when a razor bat flies by and knocks the gun out of his hand. Not only is the Joker dumbfounded at the idea of the bat-shaped projectile striking his weapon, but even more so when he sees the Green Goblin launching a large plethora of razor bats toward him. Despite this, he takes out a deck of cards.

Joker: Pick a card.

He begins tossing them at a rapid rate, each strong enough to slice through the razor bat, or at least knock it away. Despite this, they soon overwhelm him, slashing at him multiple times before the Goblin throws a pumpkin bomb at him, which detonates in his face, knocking him right into a wall.

Joker: Ow!

The Goblin rushes toward him and begins attacking him mercilessly. The Joker even tries to counter with his knife, but the Goblin takes it and turns it on him. Behind the Goblin, his glider unveils a pair of blades on the front and it begins speeding up towards it target. The Goblin stabs the Joker in the stomach with his own blade and about to push him towards the path of the bladed glider, but he sees the Joker smiling...

Joker: Trick or treat.

From the Joker's flower on his coat, acid sprays onto the Goblin's head, causing him to grab onto his face in pain. The Joker then grabs ahold of one of his hands, to which the Goblin is suddenly being electrocuted from across his whole body through a joy buzzer. The Joker sees the glider approaching and let's go, then drop kicks the Goblin, kicking him back while also falling to the ground directly below the glider. The Green Goblin is struck with full force as the glider then slams the two of them into a wall. The Joker then runs up to the pinned Goblin and points an RPG at him.

Joker: Say ahh.

He fires the RPG, which causes a huge explosion.

KO!

The Joker looks over at the fiery destruction.

Joker: Nice seeing you!

''Announcer: This melee's winner is... the Joker!''

Joker: I hit 'cause I care.