Team Fortress 2 Battle Royale

Team Fortress 2 Battle Royale is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.

Description
''All of the classes in the first-person shooter phenomenon face off to see who is the dominant class! Which of these nine competitors will be the dominant class?''

Interlude
Wiz : Every soldier has their own preference or assignment in roles of battle, and each may have their own strategy

Boomstick : I myself have my own strategy : SHOOT EVERYTHING!

Wiz : Terrible strategy.

Boomstick : Hey!

Wiz : The Scout,

Boomstick :The Soldier,

Wiz : The Pyro,

Boomstick : The Demoman,

Wiz : The Heavy,

Boomstick : The Engineer,

Wiz : The Medic,

Boomstick : The Sniper,

Wiz: And finally, the Spy. All of these combatants have worked together as one team, but now they will be separated onto their own to find out which of these combatants is the dominant leader and would win a Death Battle!

The Scout
(Cue Faster than a Speeding Bullet)

Wiz : Hailing from Boston, Massachusetts, the Scout is known as the quickest of the bunch, being able to capture points for the team faster than anyone else. That was his main purpose for the team, getting it done quickly and efficiently.

'''Boomstick : Being raised on the streets of Boston, he's going to have a moment or two being a huge dick while he's at it. Like, AT LEAST. He's the youngest of the entire team, and wasn't able to keep up with their power at first, so he used his best feature to his advantage : running.'''

Wiz : Speaking of speed, that's also his strategy...running. By using his speed, he can outrun and frustrate his opponents that are unable to keep up. His hit-and-run tactics have helped him in battle and progressed him and the others' goals. Not to mention he can easily get away with it before the enemies can even see him. He's so fast, he can outrun basic level fire from sentries and even trains!

'''Boomstick : So much speed! So much fast!'''

Special Ability

 * Double Jump - Scout is able to jump twice in midair; may be boosted with weapons or drinks

Primary

 * Scattergun - Scout's stock weapon of choice; more powerful in close-ranged shots. 6 Load | 32 Stock
 * Force-A-Nature - A more powerful rendition of the Scattergun, it only has 2 shots loaded per round and has a more powerful blast at the cost of recoil. If used in the air, the recoil will send Scout back a bit, making a pseudo third jump. 2 Load | 32 Stock
 * Shortstop - A pistol with four barrels, it's blast power and accuracy succeed past the Scattergun, and it's ammo can be shared with any ordinary pistol 4 Load | 36 Stock
 * Soda Popper - A broken Force-A-Nature that was fixed back into it's own gun, it has it's own special ability of allowing Scout to jump up to 5 times for a limited time after traveling for a specific amount of time, or as it's called : the Hype Meter. 2 Load | 32 Stock
 * Baby Face's Blaster - Named after the criminal, this shotgun gives a speed boost to the Scout for every time he successfully hits an opponent at the cost of him starting out about ten percent slower than he was before. 4 Load | 32 Stock
 * Back Scatter - Same as the Scattergun, but is more effective from behind the enemy. 4 Load | 32 Stock

Secondary

 * Pistol - A standard, ordinary pistol that can fire at fast speeds with 6 bullets per second. 12 Load | 32 Stock
 * Lugermorph - Another rendition of the Pistol, but has a different design. 12 Load | 32 Stock
 * Winger - Has a stronger blast power than the regular pistol, but less clip size. This gun also gives Scout a higher boost when jumping. 5 Load | 36 Stock
 * Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol - A stronger rendition of the pistol and nullifies any damage from long falls, but Scout becomes more vulnerable to flames from afar and a slower firing speed. 12 Load | 36 Stock
 * Flying Guillotine - A simple butcher's knife that can be thrown from afar. It will make the opponent bleed and cause lethal damage if it is preceded by a successful Sandman Ball attack. 1 Load | Infinite Stock
 * Mad Milk - A simple glass of milk in a glass jar. If he throws it, the opponent will get a debuff that makes them receive a partial amount of the damage they've given to someone else. It can also temporarily disable a Spy's cloak and rid fire off of anyone. 1 Load | Infinite Stock
 * Crit-a-Cola - When drunk, the user will receive more power in their attacks, but in return will take a small amount of the same damage they've dealt. The user will also move a fourth faster then they were before. 1 Load | Infinite Stock
 * Atomic Punch - When drunk, the user will become invincible for a short amount of time, but in return cannot attack back. 1 Load | Infinite Stock

Melee
Wiz : The Scout has a special ability, of which he is able to jump twice in midair. He usually has his set of Primary, Secondary, and Melee weapons he can use in the battlefield. From the looks of it, he mostly has medium and light weapons with Shotguns and Pistols.
 * Bat (and a lot of others) - A simple, quick, and effective melee tool. It can swing twice in a single second and deals a moderate amount of damage.
 * Sandman - A bat, but with an attachable baseball. After the Scout bats the baseball, anyone that is hit by the ball will be stunned, which can be followed up by nearly anything he wants. The Flying Guillotine works well in this situation, because the stun makes it even more lethal. Of course, Scout can use the bat.
 * Boston Basher / Three-Rune Blade - If it hits an enemy, it causes them to bleed for five seconds. If it does not, it will instead be self-inflicted onto the Scout.
 * Fan O'War - A very weak weapon, but once an enemy is hit, their defenses will drop and attacks dealt to them will be higher than before for a limited time.
 * Atomizer - Although a weaker and slower form of a regular bat, it allows Scout to perform a Triple Jump at the cost of him losing some health by performing the third jump.

'''Boomstick : Don't let that idea fool you though, this man is a powerhouse. His standard Scattergun sure is a beaut, dealing more damage at close range. Or if he wants to be sneaky he can use the Back Scatter to do the same thing, but from behind!. His Force-A-Nature gives off a bigger blast radius, which can send the Scout flying back into the air. Then my favorite : Baby Face's Blaster! This baby may make him slower at first, but once he gets a few hits off he's faster than you can imagine!'''

Wiz : Not to mention his Shortstop is a heavy-duty pistol with four barrels attached onto it, and his Soda Popper when taken out for long enough give the Boston man the ability to jump up to five times until the effect subsides. Then there are his sidearms, in which the first case is that his pistols are extremely quick, being able to fire six bullets in a second!

'''Boomstick : Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol may be slower, but it takes away falling damage. He also has a bunch of cleavers he can use to throw at his opponents, either making them bleed or chopping their faces into two! Finally, he has two drinks that he can use to step up his game.'''

Wiz : Crit-a-Cola increases the amount of damage the Scout will deal in exchange for a slight bit of damage back at him. Then the Atomic Punch makes him completely invincible at the price of him being unable to attack during the short lifespan of the powers.

'''Boomstick : His last set of weapons are made purely for whacking. Bats, fish, street signs, hammers, he can whack you with anything before you least expect it. He also has the Sandman, which comes with a neat little baseball that he can whack, and if that ball hits you, you're going to be seeing stars...then a butcher's knife cleaved into your skull. Last but not least is his Atomizer, which allows him to jump three times at the cost of a little health reduction.'''

Wiz : All of these weapons help fit in with Scout's always moving playstyle. His primaries are well in various situations whether close or far away, his pistols are generally used from a distance, and his melee weapons can be used in different scenarios, quick hit-and-run schemes, quick kills, or as a last resort.

Flaws & Conclusion
'''Boomstick : Remember when I said the Scout was a huge dick? Yeah...'''

Wiz : Scout's arrogance and cockiness is one of his greatest faults. He usually angers his enemies by taunting and talking about them constantly, which can lead him into trouble. He always brags about how strong or stronger he is than the others, but that's 99.99% never true.

'''Boomstick : Not to mention if he wants to keep up his power, he has to be constantly moving. He's a frail guy, and a well placed shot can certainly cripple him or take him down. Not to mention that he's not the strongest out of all the members gun-wise despite his vast arsenal anyways.'''

Wiz : But the Scout is confident, maybe a bit overconfident, but he's no pushover in the long run. If he keeps moving fast for long enough, he may outrun the competition.

"Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people."

The Soldier
(Cue the Art of War)

'''Boomstick : Ah, America. Land of the free and home of the fast foods-Er, I mean brave, brave, yes I meant brave!'''

Wiz : Some say Americans when it comes to war go berserk and mad, but it can't be that out of hand, can it?

Soldier screams maniacally

Boomstick : Is that the love child of Uncle Sam and Satan I hear?

Wiz : Mister Jane Doe, and yes, that is his presumed name, wished to fight in World War II with the hopes of honoring the American way.

'''Boomstick : Problem was, he was batshit crazy! Every single branch of the military denied him, so in shame he then flew to Poland, where he then trained himself in the art of war by himself. What did he do next? Oh, just go on a fucking Nazi murder spree! This guy's hardcore American!'''

Wiz : He kept going until he finally heard that the whole war was over four years after it ended in the first place. Don't worry, he got medals...made and decorated by himself.

'''Boomstick : Soldier's way of fighting is usually based around either two things. One is to either blow them up into mush, or two is to smash them until they're flat enough to make for a good sized American burger with a side of fries!'''

Wiz : Actually Boomstick, hamburgers are Germanic and fries are Belgian.

Boomstick : Well screw you Wiz, I'm going to the Statue of Liberty to embrace my patriotism!

Wiz : That was a gift from France.

'''Boomstick : Wiz, just stop. You're ruining my country.'''

Special Ability

 * Rocket Jump - By shooting downwards, Soldier can transport himself with large leaps to either ambush an enemy or to move from one place to another quickly and with long-distance coverage. He will get recoil by falling down with a few exceptions with some items

Primary

 * Rocket Launcher - A simple, plain rocket launcher. Rockets can travel up to 47 mph, and although it won't do as much, splash damage from the explosion will still hurt others. 4 Load | 20 Stock
 * Original - Same as the default launcher, but they always shoot at a specific angle. 4 Load | 20 Stock
 * Direct Hit - Does more damage and is faster than the default launcher, but it comes at the cost of much less splash radius from the explosion. It will do more damage to airborne foes that were sent up by this weapon. 4 Load | 20 Stock
 * Black Box - A rectangular launcher coated in black paint, if this hits an opponent it heals the Soldier. Downside is the clip size is shorter. 3 Load | 20 Stock
 * Rocket Jumper - This does no damage, only knocks enemies away. This is used mainly for Rocket Jumping and ambushes from above. 4 Load | 60 Stock
 * Liberty Launcher - A launcher that shoots faster, but less powerful rockets. Soldier will receive less self-inflicted damage when rocket jumping. 5 Load | 20 Stock
 * Cow Mangler 5000 - A futuristic launcher that shoots lasers holding the same properties as rockets with infinite ammo. It has a charged shot that takes two seconds to load followed by a fury of lasers. 4 Load | Infinite Stock
 * Beggar's Bazooka - A launcher that is able to shoot a barrage of 2 - 3 rockets at a time. 0 Load | 20 Stock
 * Air Strike - While rocket jumping, the rockets go by faster when fired in mid-air, as for the rockets themselves have a slightly reduced blast power and splash radius. 4-8 Load | 20 Stock

Secondary

 * Shotgun - A simple 12-Gauge Shotgun that's somewhat powerful and quick. 6 Load | 32 Stock
 * Reverse Shooter - Faster time to switch to the weapon and granted 5 seconds of added power against airborne enemies. 4 Load | 32 Stock
 * Righteous Bison - A small handheld laser pistol. It can shoot through multiple enemies in a single blast. 4 Load | Unlimited Stock
 * Panic Attack - The user will slowly fill in the empty drum with ammo, and once satisfied or completely filled, he will shoot them off one by one until it is empty. It reloads and shoots faster than an ordinary shotgun. 0 Load | 32 Stock
 * Buff Banner - A backpack holding a flag accompanied by a bugle, and once Soldier has done enough damage, he can play the bugle followed by him becoming stronger for a short period of time.
 * Gunboats - While wearing these, Soldier takes less damage once landing from a long fall caused by a rocket jump.
 * Battalion's Backup - Similar to the Buff Banner, but in this case this raises Soldier's defenses.
 * Concheror - Similar to the Buff Banner, but in this case this raises Soldier's speed.
 * Mantreads - These boots firstly give Soldier less knockback from enemy weapons. The main purpose of these boots is to make Soldier able to crush his enemies by stomping on them by tripling the amount of damage he would've taken by falling once he stomps onto their heads, mostly used when rocket jumping.
 * B.A.S.E Jumper - Once high into the air, most likely from rocket jumping, he can set off a parachute that allows him to gently float down from above or to attack when descending.

Melee
Wiz : The Soldier is packed with offensive material, most noticeably rocket launchers. These rockets can go up to speeds of 47 mph, and both the direct hits and the splash radius from the explosion deal a great amount of damage to the opponent.
 * Shovel (and others) - A simple, powerful, and efficient melee weapon.
 * Equalizer - The lower the Soldier's health is, the more powerful this weapon becomes.
 * Half-Zatoichi - A powerful katana, yet it cannot be sheathed until the Soldier kills someone.
 * Market Gardener - A shovel that becomes most powerful while Soldier is rocket jumping, making it a powerful weapon that could kill in only one hit.
 * Escape Plan - Similar to the Equalizer, but in this case the Soldier's speed increases as his health drops.

'''Boomstick : He has tons of these things! His standard rocket launcher can already pack a punch. His Black Box can heal him if he hits someone, the Beggar's Bazooka can shoot up to three rockets at once, and his Rocket Jumper doesn't hurt foes, but only knock them away. Bright side is, he gets to do his special technique more easily!'''

Wiz : Soldier's technique is Rocket Jumping, where by shooting downwards he launches himself upwards to a great height both vertically and horizontally before coming back down. Landing from a large fall harms the Soldier, but he can use other weapons or accessories to muffle that damage by a bit.

'''Boomstick : Holy shit, he has lasers?! They may not be as strong as those rockets, but god dammit I want them! Oh, right, guns. Onto his secondaries, he has various shotguns and also gear that can increase this madman's offense, defense, and speed. Hell, he has one where he can hurt people by jumping on them Mario-style! Then at the bottom he has a parachute that he can pop out midair in case he misfires a rocket jump or not to fall too hard, by then he can shoot rockets from above or just start whacking people with his shovels.'''

Wiz : Then there are his melee weapons. He has pickaxes that can increase the Soldier's power and speed depending how low his health is and a powerful sword that cannot be switched out until he successfully hits his enemy and heals him on contact, but the loot is found within the Market Gardener. This shovel is the butter to Rocket Jumping's bread, making even a single hit after launching into the air fatal to even the toughest of foes. The only hard part is aiming it correctly from such a long fall.

'''Boomstick : Soldier likes to play tough. Rocket Jumping is his source of real mobility and his rockets pack a punch, especially the ones that can do shit like shoot three of them at once! Where does the team even find this stuff? Do they make them? I want it, and I want it now!'''

Flaws & Conclusion
Wiz : While Soldier is an amazing fighter, he's got some mental issues. Like, I'm talking about really insane motives here. He'll straight up taunt his enemies during battle or just go ballistic and go in guns blazing, wasting his ammo for the pure destruction on his enemies. It can work, I guess.

'''Boomstick : And uh, he's not the smartest in strategy...or anything really. It may take a moment for him to catch on to a situation. And while rockets and rocket jumping are helpful, they can both wear him down over time if he just keeps on going like that. Not to mention that he doesn't have that many rockets, and once they're all gone he loses his ability to rocket jump entirely.'''

Wiz : If the Soldier can just keep his composure, he would clearly take victory one rocket jump at a time.

"If fighting is the sure result of victory, then you must fight!"

The Pyro
(Cue Dreams of Cruelty)

Wiz : Some in the world are mad, mad with power. No, mad with elemental power!

Boomstick : Is this some Avatar : Last Airbender shit happening?

Wiz : What? No! Let us introduce the sadistic and diabolical madman himself, the Pyro.

'''Boomstick : So what's up with this guy? He's just wearing a fire suit and a mask. It's not that sca-'''

Pyro shoots the Scout with his flare gun

Boomstick : Oh...

Wiz : That thing is a destructive monster, only burning and murdering his way through the battle.

Boomstick : What kind of man gets into this?

Wiz : Actually the Pyro's gender is unknown. He or she has a purse and does some things considered feminine. In fact, there are many theories on how his gender can be determined by counting his genetics, personality, and among other things. If only we knew the answer based on a couple of pointers-

(Cue the Game Theory theme "Science Blaster" slowly getting louder as Wiz talks before being cut off by Boomstick and resuming the previous music)

'''Boomstick : Eugh, no! Don't try me, Wiz. I thought we stopped advertising.'''

Wiz : Fine. As for the Pyro, the reason he...she...it...?

Boomstick : Just call it a man, everyone else is a man!

Wiz : Alright, I get the hint Boomstick! The reason Pyro is so sadistic and careless is that in his mind, he's actually seeing things that isn't what is actually happening. In his head, he believes the world is really just a happy and magical land of joy.

'''Boomstick : But in reality, he's busy murdering people with flames coming from the depths of hell and/or his axe of splicing. Oh what a joy!'''

Wiz : Being from an unknown land with no official name, Pyro just seems to be in the group. In fact, most of his teammates fear him when it comes to a fight. But outside of battle, the Pyro seems to act and respond much like a regular person. Maybe something just triggers him, his goggles? We may never know-

(Science Blaster plays again in the middle of Wiz's dialouge before being cut once again by Boomstick)

Boomstick : I'm not making the joke...you can't break me!

Special Abilities

 * Afterburn - After he ignites others, the opponent will still be burning for a little bit, around 4-6 seconds. They will take damage as it goes on unless they extinguish the fire.


 * Compression Blast - Pyro is able to reflect shots by shooting compressed air. By using this, he can blast away enemies, reflect projectiles such as rockets, and even extinguish fires if needed to. It costs 20/200 of his fuel to use, however.

Primary

 * Flamethrower / Rainblower - A simple flamethrower that burns away at foes, having a breath of fire being shot out at a medium-ranged distance. The Rainblower is the same, but in the Pyro's eyes he shoots rainbows from a french horn/tuba hybrid. 12.5 of his fuel is used per second. 200 Load | No Stock
 * Backburner - Same as the default flamethrower, but it is more powerful if he burns enemies from behind. Downside is that it takes 50/200 of his fuel to perform an airblast. 200 Load | No Stock
 * Degreaser - Makes weapon switching faster, but is weaker in general. Can Airblast. 200 Load | No Stock
 * Phlogistinator - Fires a wave of energy that burns the enemy. If he uses it for long enough, he can enter a state where he becomes more powerful and fully healed. It cannot airblast. 200 Load | No Stock

Secondary

 * Shotgun - A simple, powerful, and quick 12-Gauge shotgun. 6 Load | 32 Stock
 * Flare Gun - A small red flare gun. It shoots a small fireball that burns enemies on contact and does additional damage against burning enemies. 1 Load | 16 Stock
 * Detonator - Similar to the Flare Gun, except it's a bit weaker. It can however be detonated into a small explosion mid-air. The blast is strong enough to destroy Sticky Bombs. 1 Load | 16 Stock
 * Scorch Shot - When shot, this flare gun will make enemies be both ignited and be knocked away a few feet. This can destroy sticky bombs, and the bullet drops for a second, making anyone who steps on it ignited as well. 1 Load | 16 Stock
 * Manmelter - A blaster that will shoot energy blasts at foes; can ignite them. It has an extra feature where it can extinguish fires. Unlimited Load | Unlimited Stock
 * Reverse Shooter - A weapon that makes it quicker to switch items out. It will do more damage to foes who are in the air. 4 Load | 32 Stock
 * Panic Attack - Pyro will begin loading up the gun with ammo before shooting it immediately once finished. It shoots and reloads faster than the basic shotgun. 0 Load | 32 Stock

Melee
Wiz : Pyro's main weapon is a lucky guess considering it's in his name. He uses flamethrowers as a main weapon, and most of them can shoot flames up to 1,000 degrees Celsius or 1,832 degrees Farenheit. It takes up fuel quite quickly, but he's still got plenty of time to unleash his fiery potential.
 * Fireaxe - A simple, powerful, and efficient melee tool. It has a sharp wedge on the face of the weapon.
 * Axtinguisher - A stone axe that becomes more powerful on an opponent that is on fire.
 * Volcanic Fragment - An axe made out of volcanic rock that when hit, the opponent will be on fire.
 * Powerjack - A hammer that makes the Pyro faster and heals him if he kills an opponent with this. However, he becomes more vulnerable to attacks somehow.

'''Boomstick : With his flamethrower, he has two special things with it. First off the list is the fact that when he burns people, the fire is going to stay on them for a bit, them taking damage in the process. The second thing is that he has an air blast that can knock people away, extinguish fires if needed, or he can just straight up reflect things. Bombs? Rockets? Baseballs? No match for the airbending Pyro! Of course, it's still going to use a bit of his fuel to use it.'''

Wiz : He has numerous flamethrowers to choose from, some being a standard issue or some shooting energy. Each of them has their own ups and downs, making it a situational choice for the Pyro.

'''Boomstick : His secondaries mostly consists of flare guns. You know, the thing that was meant for safety! He took that motto straight out of it and used it to burn more things! He has one that can make it explode in mid-air, it's awesome! And he has a laser pistol too?! Man, life is great.'''

Wiz : Then there are his melee weapons. Most of them consist of axes that we have chosen except for one. The standard fireaxe is well, an axe. The Axtinguisher gives more damage to enemies on fire. The Volcanic Fragment will make people just BE on fire. And his Powerjack can restore Pyro's health and make him faster.

'''Boomstick : Pyro doesn't sit down nor run around like crazy. He just kind of strolls along, waiting for innocent people to walk into his fiery entrance to hell! Or rainbows considering what trippy shit he's seeing. If he needs to, he can use some weapons as ranged attacks, mostly his flare guns.'''

Wiz : The Pyro's fondness with fire is incredible. So incredible in fact that he can make fire without any form of weapon! He is able to make a ball of fire and shoot it out similar to Ryu's Hadoken move. And that thing can kill if the opponent's in close enough range.

'''Boomstick : Not to mention that everyone's scared of him and what he can do. Just one well placed start of a fire and he can have his enemies and surroundings covered in flames.'''

Flaws & Conclusion
Wiz : This doesn't mean Pyro is the ultimate warrior. For starters, he's a bit sluggish on the ground. Not to mention that he still has no idea what the hell is going on around him. Where he sees a magical land filled with rainbows and sunshine, he's busy chopping others heads off. If something seems right in his world, there's a chance it could be the worst choice in reality.

'''Boomstick : Pyro's fire is an incredible source of power...as long as he doesn't run out of fuel. His flamethrower doesn't shoot fire forever you know. If he runs out of fuel, he can't do most of the crazy shit he can do like air blasting and easily getting the afterburn effect.'''

Wiz : But Pyro is a devastating opponent. Nobody wants to die from the excruciating torment that this monster will put on you in an instant of a second.

Pyro is seen walking away from a dying Soldier, whistling as he moves along

The Demoman
WIP

The Heavy
WIP

The Engineer
WIP

The Medic
WIP

The Sniper
WIP

The Spy
WIP

DEATH BATTLE!
WIP

Results
WIP

Scarlet_Vampire_Flan495
This is Scarlet_Vampire_Flan495's version of this battle, given permission by the current adopter.

Scout
Wiz:First up is The Scout, The Speediest Of the 9 And Also the Underdog.

Boomstick:UNDERDOG MY ASS, Scouts Main Weapons Are Speed, and His Signature Double Jump and to Use as Fire Power, We are giving Him 4 Sets, Like the Game grants you.

Wiz:Set 1 Is His Default Scattergun, Pistol and Bat, all are Meh other then the Scattergun, That thing SERIOUSLY Helps when Fighting Bigger foes, Set 2 is The Shortstop, PBPP, and The Wrap Assasin, A very Decent Set that Lacks True Firepower.

'''Boomstick:Set 3 is Baby Face Blaster, Bonk Atomic Punch, & The Sandman, The Baby Face Blaster Starts Slowing Scout down, But then Ramps up his speed by about 90%! The Bonk Atomic Punch Makes Him To Fast to Hit, although He doesnt Feel Like Shooting then, and Finally the Sandman Stuns Bitches, and at the Longest range Stuns ANYONE for ABOUT 60 Seconds, But Scouts Strongest Set is His Last One, Set Four, He Has The Force of Nature, The Winger, & The Atomizer, This Set is A Very Aerial Set, Used More for Sneak Attacks, but when Used Right, It can Deck Even Sentries.'''

Wiz:Scouts Biggest Feats Are Being Quite Clever When it comes to Pressure Points, Being able to Kill a Heavy with just a Metal Bat with Only 3 hits, and Outsmarting the Bread Monster, which Takes Guts, however, Hes Very Frail, And some of his Attacks Lower his HP. But still, hes One to Not Be Messed With

"Scout:I Am The Scout Here!"

Soldier
Wiz:The Soldier is A Very Masterful Strongarms Man, However, his Brains Cripple Him.

Boomstick:He's Already a Master at Firearms though, Also His 4 Sets!

Wiz:First is His Default Rocket Launcher, Shotgun and Shovel, all very Generic other than His Rockets, Which grant him a Ability ROCKET JUMP. which grants him a Very Powerful Jump which grants him the Ability to sneak Attack which His Shovel. Set 2 is Rocket Jumper, Manstread and The Escape Plan, The Rocket Jump makes him Easier to use his Rocket Jump but useless in Fighting, the Escape plan is a Suicide Plan.

'''Boom:Set 3 is The Original, The Reserve Shooter, & Finally The Equalizer, but His Best Move Set is Easily Cowmangler 9000 The Rightous Bison and The Half Zatochi. They are All Incredibly Powerful, and Can easily Kill Many, Like Soldier did During the War.'''

Wiz:But...That Brain of his MIGHT Just Kill him.

"Soldier:And anytime that Many animals are Together its Called a ZOO!...Unless its a FARM!"

Pyro
Wiz:Oh Boy, Pyro, The Pyromaniac, is Crazy.

'''Boomstick:No, How about FUCKING PSYCHO?! Anyway Pyro Has 4 Sets like the Rest, His Shotgun Flamethrower and Fire Axe, All but the Flamethrower suck. the Flamethrower though can Use Compression Blasts, which is Basically a REFLECTOR.'''

Wiz:Set 2 is Phlogistinator, Flare Gun, & Powerjack, which Enables Pyro to use a Very Powerful Rage Mode, One which FULLY Heals Him! But No Reflector. Set Three is Degreaser, Detonator, & Neon Annihlator. the Detonator Grants him a Flare Jump, Which is A Mini rocket Jump.

'''Boomstick:Set 4 is Phlog, Detonator and Powerjack, Why? Combined these 3 For a Devastating Weapon combo, But...Pyros Locosy might end him...but nothing is more deadly than Pyro...other than his Dream.'''

"Pyro:MMMPH!"

Demoman
Boomstick:Wiz is Busy, so ITS MY TURN!

Boomstick:Demoman is A Basically Black Version of Me, And Only has 1 Eye, But He doesnt Care to Much if He joined this War, He has Set 1 The Grenade Launcher, Sticky Bomb Launcher and A Bottle of Scumpy, Set 2 is his Last Normal Set, And He Has the Base Jumper Which Slows His Decent, A Sticky Jumper, and The Bottle Again, But this is When Demo Gets Serious, And Goes into a Know Form.

'''Boomstick:DEMOKNIGHT, Which Is FUCKING BADASS. His 1st Set For this Is The Base Jumper, Tide Turner and The Mini Version of the Horsemans Axe, And Finally His Strongest Set, Eyelander, Tide Turner, And Little Shoes, which Improves his Charge By 1000-Fold!'''

Wiz: However, This Guy Has A Weakness, His Eye, and his Drunkness, however, It doesnt Cripple him, and In fact, thats how he battles in War. so Sober him Up, He gets ALOT More Skilled.

'''Boomstick : AH! How'd you get back?!'''

"Demoman:Oh there Gonna have to Glue you back together...IN HELL!"

Heavy
Wiz: Heavy Weapons Guy is the master of assults and is the powerhouse of the 9 classes

'''Boomstick: He can annihilate anyone dumb enough to piss him off. And that may be partially due to his gear of extremely powerful weaponry'''

Wiz: While he is no stranger to hand to hand combat and is still a powerhouse in that regard. He does have some guns to his disposal including shotguns and miniguns. The Brass Beast can deal insane damage within seconds killing any ordinary human as long as they aren't too fast. But his gloves of running urgently can fix that by increasing his speed!

'''Boomstick: His Warrior sprit can increase his hand to hand combat strength and his holiday punch can make the target laugh so hard it renders them paralyzed for a few seconds. When injured the sandvich heals him up and the showdown can kill any normal human in one shot with the flick of his wrist. How the hell does that work?'''

Wiz: But his deadliest weapon in his arsenal is the Huo-Long Heater which not only fires bullets at 40 rounds per second but also surrounds the heavy in a ring of flames damaging anyone foolish enough to stand next to him.

'''Boomstick: The only downside to his minigun arsenal is they only last a few seconds of usage and he won't have any ammo left. But he'll still accomplish incredible feats. Including taking out an army of robots, and being able to kill the wizard merasmus and surviving a killer carnival filled with deadly go-kart games wait what the fu-'''

Wiz: Of course with any brute his speed is sorely lacking without the gloves of running urgently & he's reliant on a medic to aid him during combat but he's still got what it takes

Boomstick: Heavy will whip those babies into shape!

"Heavy: You are so small it's funny to me!"

Engineer
Wiz: Dell Conagher is a soft-spoken Texan man with plenty of smarts.

Boomstick: He does machines.

Wiz: You're... getting a little ahead of me, here. Anyway, as the grandson of the great inventor Radigan Conagher, Dell was a prodigy in his grandfather's work. Following ten years in the Texan oilfields, he was capable of designing all kinds of machinery, and soon was able to continue his grandfather's work and exceed him,

'''Boomstick: Then eventually, he became part of the nine-man RED Team to take part against the BLU Team. Because someone had to be the genius of the bunch!'''

Wiz: As it turns out, Dell is surprisingly gifted in the ways of violence. His joining of the RED Team lead to more gun-based slaughter and mechanical tinkering.

'''Boomstick: Before long, he was capable of building four different types of buildings! His most iconic is his Sentry Gun, which goes "bang-bang-bang" and then there's no more of his opponents! His dispenser is able to heal any team-mates who are standing near it as well as supplying them an infinite amount of ammo, and his teleporter entrance and exit allow team-mates to get to the front lines faster!'''

Wiz: With enough metal, the Engineer is capable of upgrading his buildings to up to Level 3, which increases their capabilities. The dispenser allows more ammo packs and better healing, whereas teleporters have lower cooldown times. But the one that benefits the most from upgrades is his Sentry Gun.

'''Boomstick: Even a Level 2 Sentry Gun has its single-barrelled turret replaced by two revolving machine turrets! But at Level 3, this thing gets a glorious, and I mean GLORIOUS, little add-on - a small box at the top for firing QUAD-ROCKETS at foes! That's gotta be a firework's worth of pain!'''

Wiz: Well... give or take a few... hundred. Anyway, his buildings are technological, and in that case would have a weakness to water--

'Boomstick: Which I'' think is absolute bullshit in this case! I mean, what do you call what is happening RIGHT HERE other than building Sentry Guns in water?'''

Wiz: Regardless of location, it seems the Engineer has no problems finding a location for his buildings, even underwater. He only has difficulties building on rough ground, requiring a flat enough surface to be able to support his machines.

Boomstick: Good thing he can pack up his stuff in an instant and haul it around as if it is second nature!

Wiz: But even with his machines waging his wars, Dell is perfectly willing to step onto the front line himself.

'''Boomstick: His own little personal armoury includes his trusty old shotgun, his pistol with 200 rounds worth of shootin', and a stock wrench to upgrade his buildings with. Then for his buildings, he has his handy-dandy PDAs, one for building them, and one for destroying them!'''

Wiz: He also appears to hold some of his grandfather's previous technology, such as the Wrangler, a device that allows for manual control of the Sentry Gun as well as offering it a defensive shield, as well as the Gunslinger, a robotic hand that replaces the Sentry Gun with a smaller Combat Mini-Sentry.

'''Boomstick: And how did he get to use it? HE SAWED OFF HIS OWN FUCKING ARM! That is some hardcore dedication! Not to mention this little beauty has a ripcord that, when pulled, does this...'''

Engineer pulls the ripcord on the Gunslinger and performs his Organ Grinder taunt kill.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: Like Wiz when he just wants to go to the bathroom!

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Yea-HEY! *Robotic arm punch*

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: Worth it! Also ow, my arm!'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Anyway... like all members of the team, the Engineer can tap into a critical boost chance. As it is completely random, it can occur at any time. However, some weapons such as the Wrangler and Gunslinger do not get this boost.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: Not that it matters in the second case, since three consecutive punches will give a critical hit guaranteed! Just like how I perform in bar brawls.'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Not really. Anyway, the Engineer's genius and tactical mind makes for an extraordinary member of the team. He's strong enough to haul his buildings around effortlessly, been able to continue his grandfather's work and research, and has designed all kinds of products for the team, still continuing to advance his knowledge to this day.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: Unfortunately, every genius has its setbacks, and Dell's no different. He's more dependent on his machines to do the killing for him, and even then they require a metal supply in order to build, repair and upgrade. And not to mention it takes a HELL of a long time to get to Level 3 buildings in mid-combat!'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">The Engineer begins to play his guitar as his Sentry Guns take out more and more members of the BLU Team.

Medic
Wiz:Ahh, The Medic, The Most Ironically Sadistic of them All, But what He does Is Heal, although He Can and Will Resist Death.

'''Boomstick:His Medigun is So Strong he Can Revive Himself! But Now For Medics 3 Sets.'''

Wiz:Set one is His Default, And All 3 use a Medigun, That Also Holds Ubercharges, or Heal Shields, Set 2 Is Crusaders Crossbow, The Quickfix, and the Cousience Thinker, which Grants him the Ability to See How well his Foe is Doing in health, But Medic has his Strongest Set..Set 3

Boomstick:Blutsager LITERALLY Means Bloodsucker in German, The Medigun, and Finally the Subersawm which Grants him the Ability to Gain ubers from using it.\

Wiz:But...He is Very Frail, Just as Frail as Many others he works with, But with His Weapons that May Not Matter.

Medic:Lets go Practice...Medicine...

Sniper
Wiz:The Sniper is most certainly a skilled Sniper specializing in hiding & headshots<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Cues Sniper headshotting a heavy

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: He has himself a Sniper Rifle which does amazing damage when landing a headshot!

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: However that's nowhere near his best Rifle as he wields The Machina

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: What is it like a Deus Ex Machina?

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: No it actually pierces through the opponent when fully charged but gives a clear and easily traceable line

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: But if he needs more quiet the Hitman's Heatmaker will do just that!

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Of course that's just referring to his snipers, if he needs something less long ranged he has an SMG and a Kukiri which can stab right through a Spy's chest

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: Or he could use the Tribalman's Shiv which gives his opponents a bleeding effect although without as much power

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: And then there's the Razorback which protects a stab in the back but it's only for one use, also there's the Jara-

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: Wait..is that?

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Yes, yes it is

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: HAHAHAH! Is he gonna "piss" people off with that!?'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Ugh..the Jarate helps Sniper find opponents camouflaged and even cloaked.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: Oh, I take back what I said.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: The Sniper is very determined. As he has been able to last for hours just looking for the opponent to snipe.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: All just waiting it out with a cup of coffee.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Also he has been able to quickly take out 2 opponents without much effort. He's also assassinated the Engineer and the Scout.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: Yes I've been avenged!!

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: However he isn't invincible as he is very vulnerable to attacks when he's zoomed in with his sniper rifle.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: But even then he's still very well experienced, patient & deadly.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Sniper: Cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.

Spy
Wiz: The Spy is a very skilled assassin, cutting through people with a butterfly knife and remain undetected by many.<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: The Spy wields a butterfly knife which while is a good weapon is nowhere near his best. So he has The Spycicle to freeze opponents or the Your Eternal Reward which is best for stealthy situations'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: However he has the cloak which can make him invisible unless he bumps into someone. Or gets shot

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Boomstick: Or a bunch of other things.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: However he also has the L'Etranger which increases cloak time but still is able to shoot at people but without top damage

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: Don't worry for a second! The enforcer & ambassador fix that real quick!'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: Also he's a master at playing dead with the Dead Ringer as it turns him invisible but leaves a fake corpse behind, leaving the perfect opportunity to attack

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: Trust me, The Spy is a monster in combat. He fought the entire BLU team on his own and won, killed his celljmate Joey Murders with a toothbrush and seduced scout's mo-HAHA!'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Wiz: I was trying to forget about that one..anyway Spy isn't perfect, he's far from an expert in direct combat and he isn't the best durability wise.

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'''Boomstick: Hell, he's the class with the worst durability in that regard. But don't piss him off, because he's right behind you'''

<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Spy: You got blood on my suit.

Death Battle!
It Was Finally Over, The War Was Over, The RED Team was At 2Fort Celebrating There Victory, Until Redtarch Tells them only One of them Will Get the Reward he Had for them, All of them Glare at each other, No Longer Allies, All but The Heavy And Medic, They All Knew the Battle Had Only Begun Now, and All ran To different Parts of the Stage.

FIGHT!

Although a New War has Begun The Heavy and Medic Stuck together and Began searching Around, while Demo hid in BLUs old Base with stickys Near Most doors, However these were No Problem for the Soldier who made it through ease, And The Two Ex-Friends Glared at Each other, And The Become Shooting Rockets and Grenades respectively, While the Scout hid in RED Base, why? cause he KNew the engie was RIght outside, he wasnt Stupid.

Meanwhile The Pyro was hiding in the Sewers, Knowing Either the Sniper or Spy would Show up, but just to be sure hid in a Spot neither may be able to See him in, while in reality, the Spy rushed to to the Top of the Roofs of to Fort using his Knives as Climbing toolsm although it took him forever, and Saw the Panting Sniper, Readying to Pick everyone off.

Sniper:Wave goodbye to your Head...wanker..

BUt before he could the Spy tried to shove the Sniper, who dodged and Began Slashing with his Kukuri Blade while Spy dodged with his cloaks, while the Snipers sniper nudged and shot heavys chest.

Heavy:Medic! Medic:Yavol! And with That Heavy began Healing as they Walked towards The Abandoned BLU Base, as As they Do Soldier Kicks Demo to the Floor and Grins.

Soldier:If we Go down We Go Together! Soldier Then Ripped on of his Grenades off his Coat and began to jam it into Demos Mouth, who pushed it Out and Did the Same to Soldier, and Ran as The Mercenary Exploded.

Demo:DOMINATED!...but your still my friend..

Soldier:Ditto..

KO 1!

Demoman Stood up and began to Prepare something for the Heavy Medic Duo, as Sniper And Spy still Fought, But As The Sniper Cuts Spys Head off, the Sniper Seemed to Have Lost his Rifle, so He Brings out the Machina, and Begins Looking for Foes...until the Dead Runged Spy Backstabs Him and Tosses him out the Roof and Uses his Body as a Safe Spot.

Spy:You Disgust me.

KO 2!

As That Happened the Heavy and Medic Charged Through a Bomb Filled Room via the Uber Charge and Saw Demo Laughing as The Headed towards Him,

BEEP!

The Bo,mbs Explodes and the Duo (More Heavy, Medic is Still intact) Was Killed, Causing the Demo to Cheer as He Walked upstairs, Ready to face the Rest.

DOUBLE K-

Or Was It? the Medigun began to heal One of the Corpses and...The Medic was Alive once More, as He Mourned Heavily Quickly and Began doing a Quick Surgery on himself.

KO 3!

Engie:Come on Out Boy! The Engie was Getting Angered, He Knew Scout Could'nt Survive So he ran to Scout, but as He did, He Heard a Dreadful Noise, A Sound...of Sapping, the Spy had Completely Sapped His Machines

Engie:Sentry! Dispenser! The Engie Saw Spy Run, but he Bumped into Someone..The Pyro, Who Laughed as he Chased The Spy into a Corner, And Burned The Spy Alive.

Spy:Agh!!!! Pyro:Mm Mm!!

KO 4!

The Pyro Ran off to the BLU Base, to Finish off the Rest that May Be there, as Engie Took of his Glove to Reveal the Slinger, as He Deflected Demos Skullcutter, and Uppercutted the Scottish Man, and Laughed As He Began to Punch the Man, and then the Engie took out the Wrangler Grinned.

Engie:And another Thing..Your Ug- The Engies Head Suddenly Blew up as Did the Mini Sentry, As The Scout handed the Demo a Medipack, and Smirked.

Scout:Me, You, Quick Alliance, What Do ya Say?

The Demo Had No Choice, he Shook Scouts Hand, and Heard a Dreadful Muffled Cackle and Saw The Pyro Burning and Holding a fiery Medic Head

DOUBLE KO!!

The Two Were Alarmed, But Demogot up and Charged Straight For the Pyro Who Flare Jumped over Demo and Landed on his Shoulders, and Then Axed Demos Head, And Then Looked Right at Scout who Double Shoots Pyro into the air, Barely Leaving Pyro Alive as Scout Rushed Into Pyro and Pyro did To as the Screen Went Black, when the Screen came Back, only One stood Up, The PYRO.

DOUBLE KO!

Pyro walked off Carrying the Billion He Earned, as The Others Hearts are Put into Robots.

Results
Boomstick:HOW IN THE FUCK?!

Wiz:Boomstick...We Both Know Why The Winner is the Winner.

Boomstick:First was The Soldier, Whose Stupidity was the #1 Reason He Lost, He Barely Uses Grenades to Throw, and Only uses them as Suicide Moves.

Wiz:Then The Sniper, Whose Terrible at Close Range, and Is Definite Spy Food.

'''Boomstick:And Then theres The Heavy, who although Can Stop a Train, Is Nothing to Snipers And Demos After his Head. neither is the Medic...but He was Clever enough to Ditch the Heavy at the Last Moment, making sure he didnt Blow to bits, ensuring His Revival Via his Medigun.'''

Wiz:The Spies Also Doomed from the Start, As Pyros Know Spies Left AND Right, Which Means He Could make Really Good Work of Spy. and The Engies More Relaxed, Making him easy Pickings If Distracted and Teamed on, Which Brings us To Pyro, Medic, Demoman, and Scout. these four had the highest chances Of Winning, but The Pyro BARELY Took the Cake Against Demo & Scout. Like with Pokemon, there are ab out 460000 Results to this Fight, And Demo/Scout barely lost by 1%.

Wiz:Scout Won BARELY Due to the Fact that Even When underpressure, He Usually Stays Calm, And he can kill the Most DURABLE Team Member in 3 Hits From JUST his Bat.

Boomstick:Looks Like The Pyro Turned Everyones Victories to Ashes.

Wiz:The Winner is Pyro.<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">''Remember that this is Scarlet_Vampire_Flan495's battle and not the original adopter's results. Then again, I'm not the one who just went to the very bottom just to skip the analysis, now did I?''