Funny Valentine vs. Rick Sanchez

Funny Valentine vs. Rick Sanchez is a What If? episode of Death Battle.

Description
''JoJo's Bizarre Adventure vs. Rick and Morty! These two universe-hoppers are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals! Will the Stand-using president lead his nation to supremacy, or can the smartest man in the multiverse best him?''

Intro
Wiz: The multiverse... the concept of infinite realities and infinite possibilities has fascinated us for a long time.

'''Boomstick: And these two can explore it as they please! Like Funny '''

, 23rd president of the United States from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run!

Wiz: And Rick Sanchez, the sociopathic genius scientist from Rick and Morty!

Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, and find out who would win a Death Battle!

Funny Valentine
Wiz: Born on September 20, 1847, Funny Valentine was originally a rather normal child.

'''Boomstick: However, this changed when he heard the story of how his father, a soldier, had been captured and endured brutal torture at the hands of the enemy. Eventually, the man even commited suicide in order to stop himself from talking.'''

Wiz: Valentine's father left him with one keepsake: a handkerchief with his son's birthday written on it. Having lost an eye during his interrogations, he had kept it hidden in his eye socket.

'''Boomstick: Damn, that's hardcore! And young Valentine agreed, as this story instilled the virtue of patriotism within his heart.'''

Wiz: Indeed, Valentine's love for his country led him to fight in the American Civil War. However, during a mission, his company got lost in a desert. Although most of his brothers in arms perished, Valentine just so happened to collapse onto a spot where the preserved heart of a saint was buried.

'''Boomstick: Turns out that you can use the sacred relics known as the Corpse Parts to gain special powers. In Funny Valentine's case, he obtained the Stand ability, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!'''

Wiz: Since that's a mouthful, it's often referred to as D4C for short.

'''Boomstick (singing): Dirty deeds! Done dirt cheap!'''

Wiz: And due to copyright issues, it's also referred to by a different name in certain English localizations.

'''Boomstick (singing): Filthy acts! At a reasonable price!'''

'''Boomstick: This Stand ability may look silly with its rabbit ears, but it's actually one of the most powerful known Stands. That's because it grants its user the ability to travel between alternate universes!'''

Wiz: By being pressed between two objects, Valentine can transport himself and anything he desires to other worlds.

'''Boomstick: There are many combat applications for this ability. For example, he can call upon copies of himself from another world to help him and overwhelm his foes with sheer numbers.'''

Wiz: If Valentine is mortally injured, he can even transfer his will and Stand to one of these copies, making him effectively immortal as long as he's able to keep hopping between bodies.

Boomstick: But the most powerful way to use this power is by exploiting one of the basic laws of his world: you can't meet yourself.

Wiz: Although D4C makes him immune to this effect, anything brought too close to its equivalent from another world will be annihilated in a gruesome way

(Cue: Funny Valentine's Great Heat Attack from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle)

Boomstick: This means that by dragging his foe's alternate universe self next to them, or vice-versa, he can instantly destroy them with no possibility of survival!

Wiz: And that's without getting into D4C's physical prowess. Although it is far from the most powerful Stand, it is still stronger than any human being, being able to keep up with Diego Brando.

'''Boomstick: This Diego guy was infected by a virus called Scary Monsters which, combined with the power of another Holy Corpse Part, grants him the power and speed of a Utahraptor. It's also strong enough to dismember people or punch a hole through their chest!'''


 * incomplete*