Derpy Hooves vs Dan

A battle between to iconic Hub TV characters in a What-if? of Death Battle!

Description
One is a sweet, but dumb pegasus from Equestria, and the other is an angry, but smart guy from Los Angles in a battle to the death!

Interlude
Wiz: Rage and Genius & Sweetness and Dopieness, two complete opposites.

Boomstick: Remind me again why we're doing this

Wiz: You say this everytime we do a battle with My Little Pony

Boomstick: Well heres Dan Mandel, the guy with a vengeance with the world

Wiz: And Derpy Hooves, the the muffin loving Pegasus from equestria

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armors, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle

Dan
Wiz: In the town of Los Angeles, there lives a man who can be upset by the smallest thing and go on an epic quest for revenge.

Boomstick: That man is Dan Mandel

Bio
Born into the an abusive family in the state of Los Angeles with a mysterious childhood. Dan grew up without any friends until going to summercamp, where two very important things happened that day: The day he met his frined Chris and the day he got his first sweet taste of revenge. This was the first step on his long journey of revenge.
 * Age: 36
 * Aliases: Dan Man, Bat Boy, Biff wellington, Dr. Jerk
 * Occupation: Unemployed
 * Pet: Mr. Mumbles

Feats

 * Froze Canada
 * Defeated New Mexico
 * Escaped a haunted graveyard
 * Accidently got his imposter thrown in jail
 * Defeated a demon
 * Defeated a Superman copy-cat
 * Defeated a robot clone of himself
 * Nearly started World War 3 because of a squirrel
 * Bit through metal
 * Dodged laser fire
 * Picked up Chris
 * Cracked bulletproof glass
 * Survived helicopter crash
 * Has rarely ever failed

Weaknesses

 * Lactose intolerant
 * Often puts his own life on the line
 * Can't swim
 * Can be knocked out relatively easily
 * Won't beat a man when he's down
 * Doesn't know when to quit
 * Can be subdued by stronger opponents

Derpy Hooves
Wiz: In the land of equestria, there are various unique ponies of all different trades

Boomstick: There's the prodigy, Twilight Sparkle, the farmer, Applejack, and the party planner, Pinkie Pie.

Wiz: Then there is the muffin loving pegasus, Derpy Hooves.

Feats

 * Helped overpower winter clouds
 * Kept up with Rainbow Dash, The Wonderbolts, and Lightning Dust
 * Gained massive internet popularity without saying a word

Weaknesses

 * Is quite dumb
 * Eye problems

Interlude
Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

Fight
It cuts to a normal day in equestria, and cuts to Sugarcube corner. We see Dan buying a muffin from the store with what little money he had. He walks outside to a bench about to eat it when a grey blur snatches it from his hand.

Dan: Hey?!

Dan looks around and sees Derpy eating the muffin. Derpy finishes the muffin and then smiles at Dan.

Dan: DERPY!!!!!

Fight!
Dan charges at Derpy in blind rage. Derpy laughs, thinking they're playing a game of tag. Dan jumps off trying to steer her into buildings, but accidently steers away from them and causes Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle to crash into a building instead. Dan grabs his lightsaber, ready to stab Derpy, but then Derpy sees a muffin lying on the ground and rushes down to eat it, causing Dan to get flung off. Derpy goes down and eats the muffin. Dan gets back up and pulls out a bow & arrow, which he aims at Derpy. But before he can get a clear shot, Derpy flies off.

The next day,...

Dan spies on Derpy and sees her getting dressed in a mail outfit. Then, Dan sneaks into the mail office and reads the addresses to which Derpy is delivering too. He then proceeds to set traps for Derpy when she arrives. Later, thinking he won, he then sees Derpy flying in the sky, confused. He then walks to one of the houses that she was supposed to deliver too. Dan accidently sets off a trap and sends himself flying into the distance.

Aftermath
Derpy is seen flying around Equestria. Dan is seen in a bloody corpse near some changelings.

Results
Boomstick: How the did Derpy win?!

Wiz: I knew an explanation was needed. Basically Dan, despite his feats and accomplishments, had little chances of winning. Derpy was far faster then Dan, seeing that she could keep up with speedy pegasi such as Rainbow Dash. She also helped redirect a winter storm cloud. She also could be scaled to Rainbow Dash since a lot of her feats involved her. And since Dan had no knowledge of Derpy not knowing where to correctly deliver packages, setting a trap wouldn't work.

Wiz: The winner is Derpy Hooves.

Boomstick: F**king ponies