He-Man vs Danny Sexbang

The world is full of heros: from strong, to weak...to possibly gay.

He-Man: the master of the universe

Danny Sexbang: The lead singer of Ninja Sex Party and the toughest fucking ninja you've ever seen

what would happen if these kickass warriors with questionable outfits faced off? We are about to find out!

= He-Man =

Bio
'''Name- Adam Alias- He-Man Height: 6'11" prince of Eternia can somehow disguise himself by wearing less clothing. '''

Feats
'''-is able to lift mountains -can push the moon -lifted an entire city -reversed a tornado -dug to the center of the planet -has fought toe to toe with Superman '''

Power Sword
'''unbreakable can be thrown like a boomerang deflects rays '''

Battlecat
'''Alter Ego: Cringer Half Dragon/Half tiger -incredibly vicious -roars can cause earthquakes'''

Weaknesses
'''-enough force can revert him back to Adam -lacks too much range -despises violence "''By the power of Grayskull... I have the power!" '

= Danny Sexbang =

Bio:
'''Name- Danny Sexbang Actual name- Leigh Daniel Avidan Height- 6′ 2″ Lead singer of Ninja Sex Party Apparently several hundred thousand years old Part demon is horny all the time '''

Feats
-benched the entire planet '''-fought an army of karate bears -can thrust his hips so hard buildings, fall down -one of his kicks can create a small explosion -swung a horse so hard it destroyed every planet in the solar system, ruptured space and exploded the sun -can survive godzilla level raditation -can run faster than a cheeta -survived survive atmospheric re-entry -can come back immediately after being eaten by demons without a scratch '''

Blue bass
-can shoot lighting bolts

Powers
'''-can shoot exploding penis rockets from his penis -can alter his size akin to Segata Sanshiro -can clone himself up to five times -shoots lighting from his palms '''

Barricorn
-is a unicorn capable of flight...that's pretty much it

Weaknesses
'''-has pretty much every fight he's ever been in -horrible stomach problems -just the thought of sex makes him cry -has f*ked a cantelope once. (It's debatable if this is a weakness or not) "Wouldn't it be funny if like, you lose a family member?"'''

FIGHT
Alright, the combatants are set.

Two fighters enter...

one fighter leaves

''Get ready! ''

= BATTLE =

=== It was a quiet day in the land of Enternia. Adam and his pet, Cringer were taking a peaceful stroll through the rocky terrain of the world. As the two were walking, they saw a portal open up in front of him, Cringer cowering behind Adam at the sight. Cringer: What is that? Adam: It's a portal. It appears to lead to Earth The two slowly approached the portal, until they saw through The portal lead to what appeared to be a loud nightclub. Some people we're dancing and helping themselves to the bar. In the corner, they saw a man with a large brown afro. He was wearing tight blue spandex with the star of David on it. Beside him was a man dressed in a ninja outfit, two dragon symbols on the front. The man was sitting in a rather suggestive pose, talking to a lady. Danny: So, what do you say we ditch this party, and I can impale you...deep. Random chick: Sure The two left through the back door, reading to do...you know exactly what they're gonna do. Adam: "Impale her"? She's going to kill her I have to stop this Adam lifted his sword and shouted Adam: BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, I HAVE THE POWER! Suddenly, he donned a pair of tight, furry underwear and a large metal battle harness. Cringer tried to run, but he was struck with lightning as well. His dark green brown coat turned a bright green, became large enough for He-man to ride and a large saddle/harness around his back. Battlecat roared as the two quickly chased after the Jewish man. It wasn't hard to catch up to the with the three as He-Man raised his sword and managed to cut clean through Brian. Danny: What the hell was that He-man: I'm stopping you from impaling that poor woman Danny: What? But I impaled thousands of girls. He-man What! I can't allow this to go on! Run woman! The woman just walked off, bored of the two oddly dressed men Danny: Oh, now you're cock-blocking me. You're in for it buddy! He-man took a fighting stance, while Danny pointed forward, challenging him. ' ===

=== FIGHT Danny started the fight started the fight, forming lightning in his hands and firing them at He-man. The shirtless man brought out his sword and slashed away the lightning shots, now closer, he gave Danny a punch that sent him back a few feet. Danny quickly got up and delivered a kick to He-Man's chest, causing a small explosion and sending him into a nearby building He-Man got up, looking down, he saw Danny riding up to his level on what looked like a bearded man dressed as a unicorn up to the window he was in He-Man readied his sword and, with impressive timing, knocked Danny off the Barricorn Now level with each other on top of the building, Danny brought out his blue bass while He-man held up his sword. The guitar fired a bolt of lightning, which He-man deflected with his sword. Danny stepped closer and closer until he was able to thrust his hips toward towards He-Man. He-man was confused for a second before not only was he blown way back, the building they were in crumbled. As He-Man was soaring back, Danny has lifted himself from the rubble and shot a large penis rocket out of his...penis, The shot collided with He-man and send him right to the ground. He-Man steadily got up as he saw Danny run back over to him. He-Man threw his sword like a boomerang, tripping Danny to the ground. Now with his foe down, He-Man picked up a nearby building with relative ease an threw it right down on the singer. He-man, not seeing Danny anywhere in the rubble, thought the fight was already over until he noticed something. There was no corpse to be found. Looking closer, he failed to notice Danny was now right behind him. By the time he turned out, Danny gave He-Man a hard punch knocking him back one again. Danny Sexbang fired more wang rockets, only for He-Man to block them while he was on the ground. He-Man got back up as the two began dueling outright. fists on sword, and surprisingly closer than you thing. Danny ended the little duel with another kick, exploding and sending the strongest man in the universe right into a lamp post. He-Man unsteadily got up and he saw Danny, who had somehow cloned himself four times. He-Man got his sword ready once again, He-Man sliced the first Danny's head off, before cutting the second in half The third Danny jumped at He-man but was punched so hard, his head blew up in a bloody mess the fourth Danny brought forward his guitar but He-Man knocked it out of his hands and broke his neck, leaving only one left... the real Danny Danny tried firing another round of lightning out of his guitar, but He-man reflected it again, this time angling it so it hit Danny right back Danny fell back from the shock, as He-man got out his sword and stabbed Danny right through the chest. The singer fell limp, It was all over. He-Man, looked down with a frown, he pulled his sword out and started walking back to turn Cringer back and get back through the portal. As he was walking away though, he then felt a sharp shock go through him. Looking back, he saw Danny was standing one again. He had been stabbed by Ninja Brian all the time, so it was nothing new The two ran at each other...as Danny got ready and... ...touched him with his penis He-Man was again confuse until ===

== BOOM! == He-Man was flown up into the air from the explosion.

When He-Man opened his eyes, he realized he had just been been blown into space.

He-man then decided this fight needed to end.

Fortunately, he was blown right next to the moon.

With a bit of strength, he pushed the moon right towards the Earth.

Danny, still on Earth, saw the moon coming down quickly towards him as the tides became out of control and started flooding the city.

Danny then lifted up his arms and caught the moon almost effortlessly. The moon was a lot lighter than the Earth, after all.

Danny then got on the Barricorn, the moon held high above his head.

He-Man was at a loss for words when he saw Danny coming back up with the moon.

He was so distracted he didn't have time to move away when Danny outright threw the moon at him.

The moon was sent flying right back into the Earth, He-Man right under it.

As he was crawling out, he saw his outfit. His outfit turned into a white shirt with a pink jacket and a just-as-pink pair of pants

He got turned back into Adam.

He saw Danny come back, grabbing his ride and...well, Danny said it best.

"Then I swung my horse like a club and it caused a sonic boom that ruptured space and then exploded the sun” Danny had a triumphant look on his face, not seeming to care about the fact the city was totally destroyed, the Earth was in pieces and most of those pieces were flooded due to the moon being so close.

Danny: So, where were we?

Danny was ready to get back to where he started with the girl from earlier, who at this point was a chared skeleton.

Danny: Oh...I may have ended humanity...

Danny: Whoops.

= K.O. =

= RESULTS = While He-man was faster, smarter and had the better equipment, he was ultimately outclassed in range, destructive capability and most of all, strength. You may not think this, but when He-man is compared to Danny, there's not much contest He-man lifted a city-Danny lifted the Earth He-man can survive the vacuum of space-Danny can survive infinite amounts of Godzilla level radiation He-man can move the moon with one push-Danny can rupture space, destroy the solar system, rupture space and explode the Sun by swinging his horse Looks like He-man went off with a bang...a sexba- '''shot The winner is : Danny Sexbang''' ''' Danny Sexbang:  +many more powers''' +much stronger +possible healing factor +better range +is the toughest fucking ninja you've ever seen -slower -dumber He-man

+speed advantage +could block Danny's lightning shots +better equipment +More intelegent -outclassed in range -not nearly as strong -not as many powers