Board Thread:Wiki Management/@comment-27150398-20180211135035/@comment-32220816-20190915031838

Okay! This reaction is going to be in real-time! (insert *Wow!* sound effect)

First thing going in, I'm trying to guess the theme of the actual battle. Is it 100% necessary? No. Honestly, I think seevral battles on the wiki don't have a theme. But it simply isn't as enjoyable to me if I just said "Patrick Star vs Isaac (Golden Sun)!" because I don't see any connection. It's how fights like Goku vs Superman and Mario vs Sonic stay iconic - no one has to stress themselves to find the theme of the battle...

...and my guess for the theme is that they're both teenage-like happy-go-lucky characters in an otherwise forgiving world. I've watched RWBY's all seasons (even though the first 3 were the best) and I've listened to all Palutena's Guidances in Smash, so I think I've hit the bullseye.

...okay, reading the pre-fight introduction, I was partially right. I know I probably shouldn't be noting something so minor, but I feel like you could've expanded this section a little more to show Wiz and Boomstick's personalities further, but this really won't have any effect on my opinion of the sight.

"Ruby Rose Blooms into Death Battle!" Okay, that's a clever tagline, and considering you really didn't need to do it, it shows how much effort you put into this fight!

Ruby's analysis. Hm.... this was an interesting read, so I'll divide it into negatives and positives.

Positives: You definitely showed your knowledge of Ruby, and of the RWBY series as a whole. There was nothing too major I disagreed with, and your presented her information acurately enough to a point where I'd have knowledge of the character going into the fight if I didn't know anything about her. Not only that, but since you obviously kew some stuff about RWBY, some of Wiz and Boomsticks' dialogue was witty, and was pretty good for an analysis.

Negatives: The grammar and punctuation could use some copyediting, and there were times when my mind just wanted to autocorrect "your" or "there" into the correct forms of the words... and sometimes it deprived the overall charm from the analysis. The censorship felt unnecessary - if you're going to censor it, I'd advise that you should simply find a different way of sayign that. While Boomstick wasn't as egregious in this regard, Wiz felt very OOC in some parts of the analysis, which is something that I find common in battles on the wiki. Wiz is usually felt to fill in the "straight man" role in the duo, while Boomstick is the "banana man" or the comic; if you try to force Wiz into being comedic, it won't feel genuine, and might even subtract from the analysis' goodness.

Next, Pit Soars into Death Battle!

Positives: Wiz felt far more in-character than in Ruby's analysis, more delivering information than cracking jokes along with Boomstick, which I appreciated. The censorship wasn't apparent in this one, and the beginning explained his character background enough so that, like Ruby, someone who had no knowledge about him would be able to understand his character before going in. You also had good feats for him that presented a decent amount of strength.

Negatives: While the beginning of the analysis was explanatory, it felt really off compared to the light-heartedness from Ruby's section and later in his section. It feels weird having Wiz and Boomstick just deliver straight information without much personality; in fact, it felt a bit contrived. And when you said that Pit had a lot of eapons, you didn't actually list any weapons, which leaves the reader rather confused. Also, I feel like Pit's 30 ton feat you listed, while a valid one, doesn't even begin to describe his real power... and based on prior knowledge of both characters, I'm going to predict that Pit will win whilst simultaneously rooting for him.

Okay, now the fight. I won't do positives and negatives, just listing stuff as I go along.

-Pit's song is adorable, but I wonder which "winged man" Ruby was referring to. Possibly a bat Faunus?

-Ruby's reason for starting the fight felt really immature. Ruby's never just rushed into a fight with pure hatred, without any sign of mercy and no accepting of an explanation. I know the pre-fight isn't supposed to be all that important, but it just bugged me; after all, the theme was young quirky heroes, so why present Ruby as a cold antagonist since we're mostly focusing on this from Pit's point of view?

-I feel like you could alo be a tad more descriptive when it comes to actions in the fight. For example, saying that "Ruby combos Pit into the air" doesn't actually give the reader anything to envision besides that fact that they're both in the air. Also, in my opinion, having a line of dialogue after every paragraph can detract from the fight - some dialogue isn't bad thing, but it occurs so often that it takes the reader out of the fight.

-"Which he knees her in the gut, grabs her by the collar and into Skyworld." ...IMO, it would've been helpful if you described what Skyworld looked like. Just saying it oesn't really give the reader a clear view of where the fight is taking place.

-"electric dust bullet" ...I don't remember than in RWBY. If I remember correctly, our first visible usage of electric dust was Hazel using Dust steroids in V5.

-That's a good way to kill a combatant. Short and simple, but still delivering the message that they're dead. It felt weird, having no mention of Ruby's aura shimmering, though - in the RWBYverse, it happens whenever someone takes a high amount of damage, and considering Ruby was killed, I feel like it should've been mentioned somewhere. Pit was in-chaarcter after the kill, though.

Alright. Overall, the fight had its ups and lows, but here's a TL;DR: While I'm glad Pit won, several grammar issues and simple fight errors detracted from the actual battle. I feel like the fight itself needed to be far more descriptive in some parts, like when they entered Skyworld, when Ruby was attacked, when when Pit pulled out different weapons of his. However, the fight does a fine job of conveying the message that Pit won, which I can't really complain about because that's what fights should strive to do.

Now, all's that's left is the post-fight analysis.

I just read it, and even though I feel like Pit was nerfed heavily (I mean, he's at least Star level last I checked), since he won I shouldn't really get all up in a fuss about it. Pit had all the superior stats, and I'm glad that you used calculations to get your result. Plus, more puns are always fun to have. Nothing much to say here besides the usual "check yer grammare!1!!1"

So, if I had to rate each section on a scale of 1 (worst) to 10 (best):

Pre-Fight Intro: 4/10

Ruby Analysis: 6/10

Pit Analysis: 7/10

Fight: 6.5 or 7/10

Conclusion: 7.5 or 8 out of 10

Overall: Around 6.5/10.

Not a bad battle, but it could use some improvement. It was an entertaining read.

As for my fight....

https://deathbattlefanon.fandom.com/wiki/Max_Irvaron_vs_Akihiro_Dragoscale