Fire Emblem Battle Royale (Smash Bros. Roster)



Fire Emblem Free-For-All! Shadow Dragon, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, Fates, Binding Blade. Which Fire Emblem can boast the title of most powerful Lord?

Intro
Wiz: Role-playing games have taken a vast variety of forms and adopted many new ways to play over the years. Including one of the most renowned JRPG series, Fire Emblem. Originally launching on April 20th, 1990, the series began as a humble strategy-RPG featuring a colorful cast of characters and riveting gameplay.

'''Boomstick: Over the years, thanks to some handy advertising in a certain Melee and a new Awakening, the series has grown to be one of the top RPGs in its genre. From Shadow Dragon to Fates, there's no short supply of powerful Lords ready to prove their worth in a battle to the death.'''

Wiz: Which begs the question: Who IS the best Lord? That's where we come in, to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... A Death Battle.

Marth, the Hero King
Wiz:       Legends can sprout from any feat of heroism, thought time can cloud the line between myth and fact.

'''Boomstick:          Yet no legends come close in fame to the tale of the Hero King, Marth. It all started long ago, in the kingdom of Archanea, when a giant dragon decided to ruin everyone’s day.'''

Wiz:       Luckily, the brave youth wielding Falchion was there to stop him. His name was… Anri. The blade sealed the Shadow Dragon away, but would not slay him. Sure enough, one hundred years later, the shadow dragon Medeus returned.

'''Boomstick:          This time, Medeus paired up with the creepy old wizard dude Gharnef, who also wanted to rule the world… why? I dunno!'''

Wiz:       The forces launched a full assault on Archanea, wiping out most of the royal family. Coming to their allies’ aid, Altea’s king, Cornelius, left to do battle with the dark forces.

'''Boomstick:          Which dear ol’ dad failed miserably at. Of course, his son didn’t know this, so when he fled the kingdom at the sight of danger, he PROBABLY didn’t expect to be forfeiting Altea to them.'''

Wiz:       Cornelius’ son most likely anticipated his father’s mighty return to scare of the invaders. After hiding for years in Talys, he set out to reclaim his homeland.

'''Boomstick:          Wait, YEARS?! It took this kid YEARS to realize his dad wasn’t coming home? That’s pretty fucking sad.'''

Wiz:       With the aid of his childhood friend Caeda, along with various other brave soldiers including Manaketes –

Boomstick:          Mana-what now?

Wiz:       Manaketes, humans who wield the blood of dragons and can transform into such beasts with the use of special stones. One such Manakete was Tiki, who we’ll touch more on later.

'''Boomstick:          Anyway, the rag-tag team of rebels did surprisingly well considering the odds, and they managed to obtain the Fire Emblem from the last surviving Archanean royal. Oh and Gharnef died too along the way. Turns out he was hogging Falchion,which now went into the prince's possession. At last, the Altean Prince now had all he needed to defeat Medeus.'''

Wiz:       And he did! Miraculously, the young prince defeated the Shadow Dragon against all odds.

'''Boomstick:          But wait, there’s MORE! The story doesn’t end there, ohoho no!'''

Wiz:       Yep! Stay tuned for the full version of the Fire Emblem Battle Royale to find out the rest of the Hero King’s feats and abilities.

Roy, the Young Lion


Wiz:       One thousand years past, the war known as the Scouring ran rampant. Before this bloody massacre, dragonkin and humanity lived in peace. That is, until the humans declared war against the draconic beasts. It seemed the humans would win by sheer numbers, forcing the dragons to request the aid of the Divine Dragons.

'''Boomstick:          Who denied them pretty hard. Being the salty bitches they were, the Dragons kidnapped the young Divine Dragon Idenn… wait, how the FUCK does a giant dragon kidnap a girl?'''

Wiz:       Er, don’t think about it too much. Anyway, with the young girl in captivity, the Dragons destroyed her soul, turning her into a Demon Dragon and giving her the ability to summon War Dragons.

'''Boomstick:          Wait, slow down! Why can the dragons destroy souls? How the fuck does that give people summoning powers? WHAT IS A WAR DRAGON???'''

Wiz:       The important thing is that the humans ultimately prevailed, forcing the dragons to flee into the Dragon’s Gate. Now in the present time, the kingdom of Bern suddenly began to invade Sacae and Ilia, leaving them wasting in defeat in a staggeringly quick manner.

Boomstick:          With two counties under their belt, Bern decided to aim for a triple-streak, going after the small country Lycia.

Wiz:       Which happened to be the location of Roy, the son of the hero-Marquess Eliwood of Pherae. Hearing of the incoming attack, Roy joined up with Lycia’s armies in hopes of halting Bern’s assault.

'''Boomstick:          Roy eventually met up with his father in Pherae, reuniting with childhood friend Lilina as well. And Lilina happened to be the daughter of Eliwood’s good friend, Hector. Say Wiz, would you let my son bang your daughter?'''

Wiz:       Of COURSE not! Any offspring you manage to produce is bound to inherit your lack of wit and general decency.

'''Boomstick:          At least he won’t be a nerd…. Nerd.'''

Wiz:       [Sigh] Anyway, Roy would become Eliwood’s replacement, leading the Pherae army in his steed since his father was ill. On Roy’s crusade against Bern, he eventually ended up in the heart of said country searching for the old Divine Weapons used to defeat the Dragons of old. As Bern’s King, Zephiel, was using Idenn to supply his army with dragons, only the Divine Weapons could give the humans a fighting chance.

'''Boomstick:          There were plenty of them, but the best one is the one Roy wields; Wanna know more? Then stay tuned for the full episode of Fire Emblem Battle Royale!'''

Ike, the Hero of Blue Flames
Wiz:       On the Crimean border, a faction of soldiers operate a mercenary group. Their leader is mighty, powerful, and wise. His name is none other than… Greil.

'''Boomstick:          God damn all these bait-and-switches. Why does this happen so much?'''

Wiz:       Greil lead his mercenaries, the er, GREIL Mercenaries, with a strict but honorable way of leadership. Unbeknownst to his troops and children, however, Greil once lived a life as General Gawain, one of Daein’s Four Riders.

'''Boomstick:          Greil was famous and almost unparalleled in his swordsmanship. He trained Zelgius, a promising knight before fleeing with his fiancée Elena.'''

Wiz:       Elena, in possession of Lehran’s Medallion, bore Greil two children; Mist, and Ike.

'''Boomstick:          One day, Greil accidentally touched the medallion, which made him go absolutely INSANE. After slaughtering tons of innocent people, including his wife, he swore to never wield a sword again, and formed the Greil Mercenaries in hopes of living a more humble life.'''

Wiz:       During this time, Daein – the country he once fought for – began to pose a threat to the well-being of Crimea, led by the Mad King Ashnard. Hoping to protect Princess Elincia from Daein, he led his team toward the Crimean capital.

Boomstick:          Until a nightmare from Greil’s past returned for vengeance; the Black Knight, also known as Zelgius.

Wiz:       Wanting to fight Gawain at his full strength, Zelgius offered to him the blade Ragnell. Despite knowing full well he couldn’t defeat Zelgius with his axe, Greil stuck with the double-edged cleave, sticking to his reformed life over his past.

Boomstick:          Well, evidently no one told Greil about the weapon triangle, because he got killed dead pretty hard!

Wiz:       You do know that’s not the right way to say that, right?

Boomstick:          The point is, daddy is dead, and boy, did Ike bawl like a little bitch!

Wiz:       But he wouldn’t remain one for long. Now inheriting his father’s mercenaries, the boy had much to live up to, and fast. With Daein ever approaching, and his father’s final goal left unfinished, Ike struggled to keep up with the fierce expectations held by his peers.

'''Boomstick:          How did he fill such big shoes, you may ask? Well, stay tuned for the full episode to find out!'''

Interlude
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a FIRE EMBLEM DEATH BATTLE!