Yukkuri (Touhou Fandom) vs Pikmin (Nintendo)

This is the fifth fight made by Alice (AKA LuckyEmile). It is a battle between two armies of small creatures, one made up of smart, tactical ones, and the other made of a bunch of idiots. Look forward to it!

INTERLUDE
Wiz: When you think about the size of the planet, or the universe, you can’t help but to just feel… small. Luckily for us, we aren’t the smallest things there are. Boomstick: You’re probably gonna find a load of bugs which, compared to you, are super-puny. However, it’s not just bugs that are small, there are other creatures: but these ones pack quite a punch! Wiz: Like Pikmin, the small half-plant half-animal tactical army creatures...

Boomstick: ...and Yukkuris, those odd head-like things that you will most likely be tortured.

Wiz: It’s our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to see who would win… A death battle!

Yukkuris
Wiz: In the world of Gensokyo, anything can happen… And this is not limited by food becoming living organisms.

Boomstick: Wait, what? That’s just weird… and how do they even become heads? Wiz: No one quite knows the origins of the Yukkuris, but it is theorised they evolved from a bun left out and untouched. These organisms then multiplied and diversified, developing many, many different types, mimicking the looks of all sorts of people.

Boomstick: So you’re saying there could be some of these that look like us? Dah! That’s weird!

Wiz: Yukkuris have so many types, and such a loose canon, it would make it extremely hard to research. As such, we shall only be taking the “Yukkuri Shorts”, Yukkuri Breeding Observation and Yukkuri Diary, as well as information on the wiki.

Boomstick: We’re also gonna have to cut down on the types, because there is just so many of them!! For this battle, we’ll be using Reimus, Marisas, Youmus, Reimilas, Flandres, Cirnos, Patchoulis and Akyuus. Sorry if one you liked didn’t get in, but these were the most interesting ones we could find without this battle being overly in the favour of these … weird… head… things…

Wiz: To start off, Yukkuris mainly come in two types: normal and ko. A normal yukkuri is just smaller than the palm of a person’s hand, whilst a koyukkuri, which are the equivalent to babies, are about the size of a cherry. Koyukkuris have trouble pronouncing words, but are still born with the innate ability to speak! Yukkuris can be further split by personality, but we shall be using only niceheads for the sake of a working battle.

Boomstick: Yukkuris mainly move by jumpings, however other methods of getting around have been seen. However, yukkuris are slow, so take time to get around. And whilst born with the ability to speak, Yukkuris are actually really pretty dumb, unless modified or of certain types. In fact, their memories are really bad, with parents stating the birth of their young Koyukkuris to have taken place at “time immemorable”.

Wiz: However, this isn’t much of an issue, as Yukkuris only remember what is important to them, such as their children and family. This focus only a few memories allows them to easily sport family members in a crowd of Yukkuris! That’s a rather impressive feat for a creature with a brain made of paste… literally.

Boomstick: Their odd, food anatomy comes to their advantage, however, as this somehow grants them regenerative abilities. The ultimate medicine for a Yukkuri would be orange juice, which can heal any wounds almost instantly! Of course, there are some down sides… Yukkuris can’t swim…

Wiz: It’s not just that, they can’t stay in water or rain, or they will start to dissolve, washed away. Also, their frail bodies make them easily damaged by accidents like falls or getting crushed. So, their body is kind of a double edged sword…

Boomstick: However, arguably the most important feature of a Yukkuri is their accessories, which are usually hats or ribbons. Yukkuris are born with accessories, and they grow to fit them as they mature. Why is this so important? Because everyone will hate them if they lose it!

Wiz: The stupidity of the Yukkuris mean that they cannot even recognise their own family if an accessory is lost. An accessory-less Yukkuri will be seen as a strange, hostile creature, and is attacked on sight. So Yukkuris must keep these on at all costs, which can’t be hard, seeing as most yukkuris are extremely fond of their accessories.

Boomstick: Moving on to the types, the first one is a Reimu! Reimus are your simple type, and go-to Yukkuri. They even got a cameo in Pani-Poni Dash… although that anime does reference everything…

Wiz: The defining feature of these red-ribbon donning Yukkuris is their two hair braids, which are known as “Piko pikos”. Piko pikos can be used as arms, and so in turn can be used to attack. Whilst quite rare, some Reimus have been shown to possess Piko pikos strong enough to punch through walls!

Boomstick: Then we have the Marisas. These two can use their hair as arms, but to a much lesser extent. Instead, they mainly rely on their hats, which they can use a umbrellas from the rains, and even use as boats… Boy, I sure would like to be able to use my hat as a boat…

Wiz: Some Marisa have even been shown to wield wooden swords, although there skill at using it is probably poor. However, the most powerful attribute to Marisas are there “Masta Spark” ability, which they can shoot small beams. This moves us swiftly onto the other magician-type Yukkuris, Patchoulis. These types are asthmatic and physically weak, but more than make up for this with their huge capability for intelligence, being the only Yukkuri type able to read. Patchoulis have also been able to showcase spells, namely the “Agni-Shine!”, which summons a small fire!

Boomstick: However, Yukkuris aren’t stuck to the land. Reimilas and Flandres are two types of winged Yukkuris, which they can use to fly. Whilst usually the predator types, some can be seen to be very friendly to other types. They are also smart enough to recognise Yukkuris without accessories, as shown in “Yukkuri Shorts”, even being able to create accessories through sheer willpower! Remilias have better regenerative powers than most yukkuris, whilst Flandres can regenerate in seconds. Flandre can also shoot the crystals on their wings as projectiles.

Wiz: This also brings us onto Cirnos, another winged type. Cirnos have ice breath, which they can use to freeze foes, and can cool surrounding areas just by being present. However, these are the dumbest type of yukkuri… as if they weren’t stupid enough already.

Boomstick: Youmus are an extraordinarily soft type of Yukkuri. They are very skills at using sticks, knives, scalpels and more as weapons. One Youmu is known as “Katana-san”, who wields a small sword, proving Youmus have access to swords too. They can swipes swords extremely fast, usually creating a blue slice.

Wiz: Some Youmus unfortunately shout out “chinpo”, which we choose not to translate. An impressive feat for Youmus is that one has been shown to casually dodge the sword-swipes: without trying! This leads us to the final type we shall be covering: Akyuus. These types, like Youmus, are prone to using weapons, except Akyuus use tiny hammers instead. Arguably these hammers count towards their accessories, as they are born with them. Akyuus use these hammers to pound foes, leading some to theorise they are sadistic.

Boomstick: But despite how it may sounds, Yukkuris are actually really impressive. With the right care and environment, a yukkuri with a quarter of its body remaining can completely reheal within a matter of minutes!

Wiz: They can even convert radioactive materials into harmless bean paste, although this could wouldn’t always work, as it would most likely kill the yukkuri before being fully converted… Which is perhaps their biggest weakness… Wanting to eat anything and everything, Yukkuris end up eating things which are lethal to them!

Boomstick: This isn’t helped by their weakness to spicy food, or their ignorance… Heh, at least they’ll learn from their mistakes, right?

Wiz: Actually, no… they usually die…

Boomstick: Dah! That’s messed up!!

Wiz: Well, that’s unfortunately the world works for Yukkuris… But their large variety and arsenals show that they are still quite a threat… to small things, anyways…

Pikmin
Wiz: On his way back from a holiday, Captain Olimar was surprised with a crash landed, with his ship, the SS Dolphin, falling onto a planet known as PNF404.

Boomstick: Heh, I get it! PNF404… as in Error 404: Page Not Found! Wiz: Yes… Anyway, with his ship in pieces, all hope seemed lost for him… That was, until he discovered a strange object which he dubbed The Onion.

Boomstick: The Onion was a weird, spaceship-like vessel, which spourted a creature he would soon know all too well: A Pikmin!

Wiz: Olimar was able to command these Pikmins using his whistle, and they aided him in rebuilding his ship and allowing him to return homes…

Boomstick: Only to come back to hoard the planet’s treasure! That’s money-making companies for you. Anyway, the relationship was not one-sided, with the Pikmins also being reliant on Olimar.

Wiz: The main source of attack for a Pikmin is to be thrown, usually by Olimar, to latch onto enemies and bash their heads against it. Well, to be more accurate, whip their stems against it.

Boomstick: Talking of their stems, you may notice that there are different things at the end. The most basic type is a leaf, but it evolves into a bud, and finally a flower as time progresses. This concept of maturity allows the movement speed and task efficiency of the little workers to increase with each stage.

Wiz: Pikmin are also divided by their colours, of which currently only seven are known, being Red, Yellow, Blue, Purple, White, Rock and Winged. Each type has a difference in power, as well as a special immunity.

Boomstick: For example, Reds are immune to fire and flame-type attacks. This ain’t all they got, either, they have a sharp, pointy nose, which they apparently pierce into foes, allowing them to deal more damage than average Pikmin, 1.5 times more, to be precise.

Wiz: Yellow Pikmin have large ears, allowing them to be thrown higher and further. Throughout the series, they have shown a large variety of abilities. Their most notable one to date is the immunity to electricity, which was adapted further to the point where they can conduct electric currents. According to The Ship in Pikmin 2, the static electricity readings were high when around them, further proving this point.

Boomstick: Yellows can also dig faster than other Pikmin, and care able to wield bomb-rocks, which are the Pikmin equivalent of explosive!

Wiz: Moving on to the Blue Pikmin, these Pikmin are able to swim, being the only type immune to water. Whilst they have average statistics, they are currently the only known Pikmin type able to throw other Pikmin, even the large Purple Pikmin!

Boomstick: These Pikmin weight 10 times more than others, and also have the strength of 10 Pikmin! Purples can weigh down airborne foes, and land with a thump which can stun enemies for up to 5 seconds, as well as deal serious damage. They even appear to home-in to targets! Unfortunately, these are the slowest type of Pikmin, most likely due to their weight.

Wiz: On the contrary, White Pikmin are light, and so the fastest type of Pikmin! They have weaker attack power than others, but make up for it with their immunity to poison. They also appear to be poisonous themselves, as upon being eaten, they eject a poisonous fluid to cause instant damage. They also have X-Ray vision eyes!

Boomstick: Rock Pikmin exhibit an immunity to blunt force, being driven into the ground when crushed rather than dying. Being hit by sharp objects means that they will will be knocked back! They can smash through glass, crystals, ice and even armour! However, their rocky bodies mean they can’t cling to foes.

Wiz: And finally we have the Winged Pikmin, which, as the name implies, are capable of flight. These Pikmin are small and fast, but are weak in terms of offense… They usually just stick to lifting objects up, but can be useful against airborne foes. Of course, this isn’t all that Pikmin have…

Boomstick: Olimar is able to hold on to two different types of spray: the Ultra-spicy spray and the Ultra-bitter spray. The Ultra-Spicy Spray is a red-coloured spray, which bloom all Pikmin into Flowered Pikmin, and increase their efficiency. Their maximum speed is on par with a Flowered White, and their power is increased to around 180%! As such, their attack frequency and recovery also increases. However, it has a time limit and will wear off.

Wiz: The Ultra-Bitter Spray is purple, and when used will temporarily turn foes into stone, unable to move. This lasts for around 8 seconds, however. If that wasn’t enough, Pikmin have also been implied to take power-ups, adding more variety to what’s on the end of their stem…

Boomstick: The Hammer Seed grows a sledge hammer on their stems, allowing them to do more damage to enemies. The power-ups also kind of acts as a shield. The Whip Seed causes the stem to grow, letting it extend to longer ranges. When thrown, the Pikmin act like fireworks, with an explosion of colour. The range is increased enormously, allowing attacks to be done from further away without the risk of damage.

Wiz: Lastly, we have the Knuckle Seed, which transforms the stem into leave, making the Pikmin act like bullets. This causes great impact damage… and apparently the Pikmin can perform a Haudoken-like attack…

Boomstick: With all these adaptions for killing, there must be some reason for this genocide, right?

Wiz: Actually, yes. The Pikmin carry the corpses of their fallen enemies back to the Onion to allow them to bring to life more Pikmin. This is how they reproduce.

Boomstick: Hmm, that’s… actually kinda cool. However, the Pikmin do have a limit: there is only so much they can carry. This is perhaps why they rely on tactics and teamwork…

Wiz: It requires a thousand normal Pikmin to carry a one kilogram dumbbell in Pikmin 2, implying a normal Pikmin could only carry one gram. However, we don’t think that does the creatures justice: they can carry enormous things! As mentioned earlier, Blue Pikmin can lift and throw Purple Pikmins, which are 10 times its own weight, with ease. And those are the average type!

Boomstick: Ten times your own body weight, huh? Yeah, that sounds more like it. Unless… like… these guys weighed 0.1 grams…

Wiz: Regardless, the Pikmin have adapted to complete almost any task, and use tactics to solve any problem they face. They have taken down beasts which to them are huge, and then carried the corpse all the way back home… These small guys might just have what it takes to do anything!