Talk:Tinky Winky (Slendytubbies) vs Ao Oni/@comment-30408599-20190819154319

That was a pretty good fight overall, & I agree with the outcome, but I'd like to give some suggestions for improvement.

The Fight

The fight is a bit repetitive. It's basically just "Tinky Winky attacks the oni to little effect, the oni throws Tinky around like a ragdoll, Tinky does something effective, rinse & repeat". It also seems like you write in the scenes where someone bleeds a lot. I don't think you need to write in every time someone bleeds, as it starts to get overused & loses its impact (unless of course it was never meant to have any impact, then it'd be fine). Besides that, I found the fight to be pretty well written, with good action, & the winner being left anonymous until the end.

The Results

As for the results, I would suggest learning to do some calculations, cause you have a calc for the Oni's strength, but none for Tinky Winky, which just looks a little unpolished to me. You also mention that the Oni is smarter, but if that's the case, why did he blindly grab that chainsaw? If it's because he's never seen a chainsaw & wouldn't know how to approach it, I think you should mention that in the results. You also say that Oni's intelligence wouldn't help much against Tinky's bloodlust, but I think you should explain this more. Generally, I think a smarter character can take advantage of a crazy character's single-mindedness, but only if that's what their intelligence is catered to. If the Oni's intelligence isn't enough to deal with Tinky's bloodlust, then you should say that instead of saying it "only lasts so long".

One of my larger gripes is with the Tinky Tank. You mention that it's larger & faster, but you assume it's stronger for seemingly no reason. This is where more calculations could've been used to back up your points. Personally, if Tinky Tank is really featless, I would've just said "Since Tinky's base form was strong enough to harm the Oni, even if a little, it'd make sense that his Tinky Tank form is strong enough to contend with, or even surpass the Oni's strength". Another problem I had is with the chainsaw. While I agree that the chainsaw would be an effective weapon against the Oni, I disagree that the Oni has no durability feats. According to Newton's 3rd law, every action has an equal & opposite reaction. When the Oni broke through that floor, he also survived that same amount of force. Think about it like this, that hit broke the floor, but it didn't break the Oni. So he does have a durability feat, but a chainsaw's sharpness & speed would be enough to get through it. Heedless of that, I do think Tinky Winky wins.

So yeah, good job on your fight, hope my critique didn't offend you. Just wanted to give some tips.