Conker VS Duke Nukem

Conker VS Duke Nukem is a What-if? Episode created by Raiando and Tonipelimies, it features Conker from Conker's Bad Fur Day and Duke Nukem from his eponymous franchise.

Description
Rareware VS Id Software, these two badass Video Game characters Duke it out, will the Squirrel conquer Duke Nukem, or will the Human Nuke him out?

Interlude
Wiz: There has been many badass characters in the fiction.

Boomstick: like let's say Rambo, Terminator and many more.

Wiz: And these two are no exception.

Boomstick: Conker: The Fourth-Wall breaking Squirrel.

Wiz: And Duke Nukem: The Alien Ass Kicker.

'''Raiando: We're BACK with Toni!!! Again since that Bandicoot vs. Mudokon battle.'''

Boomstick: He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick.

Tonipelimies: And we are Tonipelimies and Raiando himself.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their Weapon, Armor, and Skill to find out Who Will Win...A Death Battle!

(Death Battle Doors close and open to Conker's Analysis)

Conker (Raiando)
Boomstick: Before Conker was The King of all the land, he was just a normal squirrel who spends his time with his beloved girlfriend: Berri.

Wiz: One day, Conker was in a pub called....Cock and Plucker.

Raiando: What kind of name is that?

Tonipelimies: IDK Rai but Conker was spending his time in there, and he was very drunk, so drunk that he vommitted while he was getting out of the Pub.

Boomstick: He should'a used the bathroom before getting out.

Wiz: Anyway, while Conker was going home, he ended up going into wrong way because he was drunk..again.

Boomstick: And the next day he wakes up and sees he's on the Panther Kingdom and Conker is still Drunk.

Wiz: And then he meets a Talking Scarecrow named Birdie

Conker: Beardy?

Birdie: No..Birdie, I scare birds.

Tonipelimies: Conker tried to get help from Birdie so he go home, but Birdie couldn't help him with that.

Boomstick: Instead, Birdie teached him something called Context Sensitive, with that Conker can pull out an Object out of nowhere, Conker pulls out whatever he needed to get out of his Drunk state.

Wiz: As Conker now goes home, his way is interrupted by a Giant Gargoyles but Conker got rid of em with a Frying Pan.

Boomstick: But his journey to going home wasn't over, Conker met bunch of people from Panther Kingdom and most of them are really annoying for the Squirrel fella.

Raiando: All he wanted was to go home and sleep.

Wiz: Anyway, let's talk about Conker's Abilities.

Powers & Abilites

 * Funny Helicopter Tail Thing
 * Frying Pan
 * Anvil Transformation
 * Hammerspace
 * Fourth-Wall Breaking

Boomstick: Starting off with Funny Helicopter Tail Thing, he can glide around for a short Time with his tail...now where have i seen that before?

(Shows a Gameplay of Sonic 2 where Tails is using his flight)

Tonipelimies: Conker's Frying Pan is one of his Defeault Weapons, he hits his Enemies so hard that makes them flinch.

Raiando: Conker can somehow turn into an Anvil, and crush his foes beneath him.

Wiz: And Conker has the Ability of Hammerspace, in the other words: Context Sensetive, as we mentioned before he pulls out whatever he needs in right time.

Boomstick: Conker has alot of Context Sensetive Items, so we have list a few of them.

List of Context Sensetive Items

 * Plunger and a TNT
 * Flamethrower
 * Butcher Knife
 * Two Submachine Guns
 * Shotgun
 * Crossbow
 * Rocket Launcher
 * Katana

Raiando: Conker is a one tough Squirrel, he was able to kill the entire Tediz army, solo.

Boomstick: He also killed a Giant Living Shit and an Xenomorph named Henrinch.

Tonipelimies: Conker is really fast as he was able to dodge bullets..Matrix style.

Wiz: And was able to outrun Wasps while carrying a Hive.

Tonipelimies: Only downside of Conker is that he's really clumsy sometimes.

(Cue Zombie Villagers rising out of their graves and coming after Conker)

Conker: More Zombies...time for a Double-Barrel Boy...only for last Time.

(Death Battle doors close and Open for Duke Nukem's bio)

Duke Nukem (Tonipelimies)
Tonipelimies: Little is known about the past of Duke Nukem, gaming's manliest man.

''Wiz: Apparently, one day he showed up, started kicking ass and taking names, before he fought off an alien invasion and saved the world. With his newfound fame, he opened up burger joints, casinos, and even scored some women. But there was a problem. The aliens were coming back.''

'''Raiando: So what does he do? He goes and kicks their asses!'''

'Boomstick: He even takes the fight to THEM, going from Hollywood to a Spaceship on his quest to save his babes. Come get some!'

Wiz: Duke is pure muscle, the guy benches 600 lbs, and can tear cyborgs apart with ease.

Tonipelimies: Like Doomguy, he runs faster than rockets, and can even jump on top of buildings.

'''Raiando: And he's one tough bastard to put down. Shrink Rays? Devastator missiles to the chest? No matter. All in a day's work for the Duke.'''

Wiz: For starters, Duke simply uses his boot, which can kick alien and robot ass alike.

Tonipelimies: Those weapons...excuse me, he also uses a small yet effective pistol that fires 24 rounds.

Boomstick: Like Doomguy, he also carries a badass shotgun to work as well!

Raiando: And the Ripper Cannon, a destructive yet, inaccurate at a long range, Chain-gun like weapon.

Wiz: The Pipe Bomb, which detonates after being thrown.

Tonipelimies: And the Laser Tripbomb, a highly destructive set of lasers.

Boomstick: Like all Action heroes, Duke comes armed with an RPG-

Raiando: And a Shrinker, that can take down weak foes by shrinking them, but only for a short time.

Wiz: He comes with a Microwave Expander that expands a part of his opponent's body until it bursts.

Tonipelimies: He also has the Devastator, which is a dual wielded Rocket Launcher that fires like a Machine Gun.

'Boomstick: And...THE FREEZETHROWER!!! WHICH FREEZES YOU AND SHIT BEFORE YOU MEET YOUR BLOODY DEATH IN A BLOCK OF ICE!!!!'

Raiando: THEM WEAPONS!!!

''Wiz: Duke's glasses can make him a douche all day! As he can wear them at night due to Night Vision purposes!''

Boomstick: Along with a jetpack that can last for about two minutes.

Raiando: Duke scored so many babes for him constantly due to him being so fucking sexy!

Tonpelimies: He also served in the Lebanese Civil War, wrote a book about himself and destroyed the entire Cycloid invasion force on the Moon.

Wiz: He went back in time and annihilated the forces of the Nazis and aliens.

Boomstick: I would like to see Hitler being punched in the face by Duke similar to Captain America's first comic cover!

Raiando: But, Duke isn't perfect and invincible yet, he does have a huge ego, and if you dare capture or hurt one of his babes?

Tonipelimies: He...loses his shit.

Wiz: He also lacks any means of armor or protection.

Boomstick: But, Duke has an impressive resume, but can he match that drunken squirrel?

cue Duke Nukem shouting "Hail to the King, Baby!"

(Death Battle Doors close and open to Pre-Fight)

Trivia

 * This is the third time Raiando is a host, first being Luigi VS Sage Harpuia and second being Crash Bandicoot vs. Abe.
 * This is the second time Tonipelimies is a host, first being Crash Bandicoot vs. Abe.