Dexter VS Jimmy Neutron

Dexter VS Jimmy Neutron is a What-if? episode of DEATH BATTLE!, featuring Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory and Jimmy Neutron from The Adventure of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.

Description
Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon square off in a battle between boy geniuses!

Interlude
Wiz: Not every genius level intellect comes from a grown man. In fact, some brilliant minds can be found in the youngest of people.

Boomstick: And these two nerds are without a doubt among the top tier in their trade.



Wiz: Dexter, the boy genius of Cartoon Network.



'''Boomstick: And Jimmy Neutron, the boy genius of Nickelodeon. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.'''

Wiz: And it's out job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

Dexter
(*Cues: Dexter's Laboratory - Instrumental*)

Wiz: Dexter is an eleven year old boy from the town of Genius Grove. He was born with an abnormally large head, and that had the doctors assume that Dexter was a genius, thus they gave his parents a pair of glasses.

'''Boomstick: Assume!? You don't assume, Wizard!! Have you learned nothing from Game Theory?!'''

Wiz: Luckily, they were right. Dexter turned out to be a genius and he began to create a lot of inventions and study technology from the moment he could crawl.

'''Boomstick: However, a monster in his family repeatedly destroys his inventions. That monster...is Dee Dee.'''

Wiz: Dee Dee is Dexter's older sister, who always somehow destroys anything Dexter comes up with.

Boomstick: But by the time he was 7, Dexter soon discovered a secret, empty room in his house and then had an idea.

Wiz: Dexter would use the secret room to convert it into his own personal laboratory, hiding his inventions from all and creating greater machines to help him study science and further understand the world.

Boomstick: But just when Dexter thought he would finally be able to all of his work in peace, Dee Dee soon discovered a secret entrance to his laboratory and has been messing with his inventions ever since.

Wiz: Definitely not his best day. (*Cues: Cootie Call / Sub-Zero Hero - Dexter's Laboratory: Mandark's Lab?*) Despite his sister's constant interference, Dexter continues to create countless machines and experiments just about every day of the week.

'''Boomstick: This kid also has some pretty crazy abilities. He's faster than a mortal eye can see, strong enough to overpower a large mustachioed woman, and tough enough to take explosions to the face, like every goddamn day.'''

Wiz: As we just covered, Dee Dee generally ends up destroying a good number of Dexter's inventions.

Boomstick: However, some of Dexter's gizmos & gadgets still remain intact.

Wiz: Dexter has a Backwards Belt and Time Expansion Helmet. The former makes Dexter do everything backwards, and the latter has everything around him get stretched in time to 60 times slower than normal.

Boomstick: The teleportation controller allows Dexter to teleport in and out of his lab, and the Animal Atomizer is a device that can turn anybody into any animal, extinct or not.

Wiz: The Monster Potion can transform anybody into a monster and have continuous growth, and consume Toxic Waste to continue increasing in size and strength.

'''Boomstick: But his manliest invention is definitely the Beardatron. This manly glory gives Dexter facial hair so dense, that it can endure stabs from a beard that DESTROYED WOODEN CRATES, AND SHATTERED IT!'''

Wiz: Dexter is also packed with his homemade Major Glory action figures, which are actually pretty strong. They can fly at 1.7 billion miles per hour, fire heat vision hot enough to melt a car, hold up to three children, blow arctic breath that can freeze an entire tree, and utilize a cloaking device to hide from their prey.

'''Boomstick: Batteries not included. He's also got a backpack which can trap ghosts, a wrench that can deflect laser blasts, a pen that can control whoever's name is written on paper, brass knuckles with his name on them, and I kid you not, a shit ton of lasers blasters. Where does he possibly keep all this stuff?'''

Wiz: A really, REALLY deep lab coat...

Boomstick: So, like Deadpool and Dante?

Wiz: Essentially...

(*Cues: What's Buggin' Dexter? - Dexter's Laboratory: Mandark's Lab?*)

'''Boomstick: Yep. Anyway, on the rare ocassion Dexter feels he needs to get serious, he bust out his mech/personal favorite invention, the Dexo-Robo 2000. This baby comes equipped with rocket-fists, a ton more lasers, a PEZ dispenser-style rocket launcher, and it can fly!'''

Wiz: Being so well armed, Dexter has a number of ridiculous feats under his résumé. He's fought against aliens from other planets, unknowingly gave his pet monkey superpowers, fought against a Giant Dee Dee, and has even defeated an entire group of U.S. Navy Soldiers singlehandedly.

'''Boomstick: And he's capable of beating those just as smart as himself. Like his rival Mandark, the one person who strives to be smarter than him, butter utterly fails no matter how hard he tries.'''

Jimmy Neutron
(*Cues: Jimmy Neutron Theme - Bowling for Soup*)

Wiz: Born in the town of Retroville, James "Jimmy" Isaac Neutron is a pint sized boy genius with an unreasonably large head and an unbelievable I.Q. of 210.

'''Boomstick: He's quite literally the smartest little shit in town. He always gets higher grades than anyone in his school and he even got banned from the science fair just so the other kids could have a chance. '''

Wiz: As Retroville's smartest resident, Jimmy is often considered a nerd out of touch, inventing things both in pursuit of science as well as for his own desires.

Boomstick: Neutron's also gone through all sorts of crazy adventures, and it all began with a journey into the final frontier.

Wiz: When he was just 10 years old, Jimmy dreamed about contacting alien life forms and sent a message into outer space in hopes of doing so.

Boomstick: But after he had sent the message into space, he crash landed his makeshift rocket on his house's roof and his parents prohibited him from not only going into outer space, but also the Retroland amusement park.

Wiz: Even then, he still disobeyed them and used his Shrink Ray to sneak out of the house and then went out to hang with his friends in Retroland without his parents ever noticing.

Boomstick: But while little Jimmy was out having fun at the amusement park, some other crazy shit was happening behind the scenes.

''Jimmy: Greetings from planet Earth. I'm Jimmy Neutron and you're an alien life form.''

King Goobot: Oh, what a big head...

Wiz: Aliens from outer space called "Yokians" got ahold of his message, but misinterpreted it into thinking that the parents of Retroville would provide nutrients for their god, Poultra. As a result, the aliens abducted and took them to their home planet, Yokus where they would be fed to their god.

'''Boomstick: But Jimmy was all like "Fuck that shit!" and traveled to their planet, battled their mutant chicken god, saved his parents, defeated their king, and returned home to Earth afterwards. Good job, Bighead.'''

Wiz: After saving his parents from the Yokians, Jimmy began to go on numerous adventures with his friends and invent all sorts of crazy inventions to increase his own popularity and fight off all sorts of threats to Retroville.

Boomstick: Even if they do end up destroying the town more than half the time...

(*Cues: Retroville - Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots - DS Version*)

Wiz: In terms of abilities, Jimmy has a good number of mental and physical abilities. He has shown to be a master in the art of flipping, is a proficient sword-fighter, has a photographic memory, and can survive in the vacuum of space...somehow...

'''Broomstick: How is this possible you may ask? Well...'''

''Sheen: Hey Jimmy, there's always a question I've wanted to ask you. How come whenever we're in outer space we don't gotta wear helmets?''

''Jimmy: Good question, Sheen. And the answer is quite interesting. You see...''

(Carl sings obnoxiously loud while Jimmy explains to Sheen how they can breathe in space)

Sheen: Huh, really?

Jimmy: Mhhm.

Sheen: And how come we don't need oxygen tanks and stuff?

Jimmy: Well...

(Carl's obnoxious singing continues)

Sheen: Fascinating!

Wiz: Well...that didn't explain anything at all!

'''Boomstick: Best not to think about it. Anyway, let's get to the important stuff!'''

(*Cues:  Retroville - Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots - DS Version again*)

Wiz: Jimmy is a genius and a master mechanic. He has built several rockets, combat mechs and has numerous gadgets on hand. Like the Shrink Ray, which as the name implies, can shrink people or objects down to size. It even has a reverse feature which can increase his size to that of a planet.

'''Boomstick: He's even got a Hypno-Beam, which can be used to hypnotize anyone with regardless of their intelligence or sanity, and make them do anything he wants. Oh, the horrible things Jimmy could make his victims do. Oh, and it works even when they DON'T look at it! '''

Wiz: On his own, Jimmy is not very fast, but if he needs to get around, he's got several methods of transportation. 

'''Boomstick: He wears a JetPack on his back, which when set to Hyperdrive, can reach speeds over Mach 250. He also made some technological advancements to his shoes, in which he can use them to hover in the air at 25 miles per hour, as well as break a 10 story fall.'''

Wiz: Along with his Springy Shoes, which allow him to leap great distances with every jump.

'''Boomstick: He's even got a skateboard with rocket-powered flight in case he wants to show off some mad air skills. Man, I wish I had a flying skateboard...'''

Wiz: Jimmy wears a technologically advanced wristwatch that comes equipped with electro magnets, a freeze ray, tractor-beam, invisibility shield, lasers, and anti-gravity disks. It's the perfect multi-purpose tool.

'''Boomstick: Oh, and did we mention that he's also got a lightsaber? Jimmy also carries the Quantum Replay 9000, a remote that can allow him to rewind or replay events, and can also be used for Time-Travel.'''

Wiz: And also a Time Accelerator, which can allow him to make certain events go in slow-motion or fast-forward---handy for speeding up unwanted house parties 5 times faster than normal.

Boomstick: Party pooper...

Wiz: The Oxidation Accelerator is a spray that can disintegrate metal, the mist is equivalent to 200 years of rust.

'''Boomstick: But enough of those, let's get to really cool stuff. The Pain Transference Helmet allows him to transfer his own pain onto another person of his choosing, the Demutation Pellets instantly reverse all past mutations of any living creature, the Cheese Ray turns whatever it hits into, well, cheese...'''

Wiz: The Sonic Voice Cannon emits sonic waves powerful enough to deflect lasers, and the Flux-Field Duplicator can duplicate whatever person or object it takes a picture of and after duplication, the original object will fade into oblivion.

'''Boomstick: But if Jimmy wants to get lethal, he busts out his Robo-Walker. This 12 foot mech comes equipped with heat-seeking missiles, robust kicking legs and a super powerful laser cannon. Oh, and it also has an ejector seat in case he needs to bail.'''

Wiz: Now we know what you're thinking, doesn't that seem too much for Jimmy to carry around? To put it simply, no.

'''Boomstick: Jimmy can bring whatever he wants into battle, thanks to his infinite storage device, the Hypercube. This thingamajig can store literally anything he puts in it. So no gadget is too big for him to carry around. Pretty convenient if you ask me.'''

Wiz: Jimmy's greatest weapon, however, is his own brain.

Jimmy: (Think. Think. THINK!)

(Jimmy visualizes a plan via Brain Blast)

Jimmy: (Brain Blast!)

Wiz: When the situation gets tight, Jimmy can concentrate his thoughts deep into his subconscious, creating a Brain Blast. This ability allows increased creativity, and accelerated rational thinking. Jimmy can use the Brain Blast to find a quick solution to practically any situation.

'''Boomstick: And man, that brain can sure as hell get the job done. Brain Blasting has never let him down.'''

(*Cues: Stage Select - Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots - DS Version*)

Wiz: Jimmy Neutron has done some ridiculous things. With the necessary tools, he can convert an entire amusement park into an interstellar war fleet. Also, I exaggerate nothing when I say he reversed a tornado expanded into space by circling around it with his JetPack.

Boomstick: He's tanked multiple rocket crash landings, made a time travel remote out of prehistoric material, and even survived a fall of well over 10,000 feet without a scratch.

Wiz: He's gone toe-to-toe several advanced alien races, and with the help of Danny Phantom, Timmy Turner and SpongeBob SquarePants, he founded the league of Nicktoons Heroes and defeated the Evil Syndicate.

'''Boomstick: He even invented a gum that allows him to breathe underwater, and has the defeated the Yokian's god, Poultra not once, but twice. This guy really is the smartest kid in all of Retroville.'''

(*Cues: Cutscene 5 - Nicktoons: Attack of the Toybots - DS Version*)

Wiz: However, despite his massive intellect and impressive feats of heroism, Jimmy is extremely stubborn and arrogant to a fault. He often disregards his own safety and rarely ever thinks things through, leaving him in many, MANY bad situations.

'''Boomstick: It's ridiculous, I can't even count how many times Jimmy came up with some sort crazy gadget that's supposed benefit the world and then dropped the ball. I mean, one time, he gave a fast food restaurant an artificial intelligence to make better foods and please customers, and still flopped hard, because Jimmy's dad kept being an ungrateful douche, saying that he prefers eating at Taco Shack and that caused the restaurant to go about destroying any place in Retroville that sells food.'''

(*Cues: Jimmy Neutron Theme - Brian Causey*)

Wiz: Even so, Jimmy understands his faults and is an exceedingly intelligent boy.

Boomstick: And even if things don't go as planned for him, he comes through every time.

Wiz: And that is what Jimmy is all about. No matter how bad the situation may turn out to be, he is always willing to come up with a plan in case things go wrong and has overcome every obstacle in his way.

Boomstick: Even if it's usually his own fault.

Wiz: No matter what the challenge, Jimmy Neutron will always give it his all.

''Jimmy: This is it, people. These crummy aliens stole our parents. It's time to show them what we're made of. We're tough, we're mean! Darn it, we're carbon-based life-forms! Now, who's gonna kick buttocks?''

Kids: The "carbonated" life-forms!

Intermission
Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE!!!



Results
To Be Determined

Poll
Who are you rooting for? Dexter Jimmy Neutron

Who do you think will win? Dexter Jimmy Neutron
 * Note: This poll will be closed after the outcome has been decided.