Pikachu VS Chuck (Pokemon VS Angry Birds)





Description
These yellow and speedy warriors of nature will clash in a fight for superiority.

Interlude
(Cue Wiz and Boomstick)

Wiz:When you think about monsters you probably think of hideous and ginormous creatures born from the depths of hell, but what if I told you that a monster can simply just be a cute animal?

Boomstick: Oh I believe it, friggin squirrels are such a pain in the ass.

Wiz:Like Pikachu, the electric mouse and starter Pokemon of Ash Ketchum.

Boomstick:And Chuck, the yellow canary and speedster of the Angry Birds.He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.

Wiz:And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle?

Pikachu
(Cue Little Root Omega Ruby) The lifestyle of a Pokemon trainer was one that every kid yearned for, especially once they reached ten years old.Once that lucky number of age was reached, they would choose their companion Pokemon at their side.And that dream was in Ash Ketchum’s head.

Boomstick:Until his sleepy ass showed up late and all the starter Pokemon were taken.

Wiz:Well except for one electric mouse Pokemon who would be Ash’s only chance at being a Pokemon trainer this Pokemon was:Pikachu.

(Pikachu electrocutes Ash)

Boomstick:Huh,something tells me that they weren’t exactly buddy-buddy at the start.

Wiz:Far from it, Pikachu didn’t like Ash at first, but after the boy’s heroic attempt at protecting Pikachu from a group of Spearow, he warmed up to Ash and soon, trainer and Pokemon became best friends and would travel the world to prove that they were the best like no one ever was.

(Cue Rival theme Omega Ruby)

Boomstick:And Pikachu had the stats and moves to prove it.Being an electric mouse, he had the perfect cute appearance but he was certainly not cuddly as he has many electrical abilities that can be  quite shocking hehe.For starters he has thunder which can shock an area good, especially if covered in rain, but the signature move is definitely the thunderbolt which shoots an even more powerful electrical blast which can actually paralyze you 1/10 times.The electro ball is a ball of pure electrical energy which can damage more the faster you are, so its pretty good agains’t speedsters who give hits and run away, the next move is the quick attack which uses Pikachu’s blazing speed to its fullest potential and can even intercept extremely fast attacks, then we have the iron tail move which somehow turns Pikachu’s tail into a sharp iron weapon that might as well should be a sword, he can also slow down targets and leave them electrified with the electric web, and for some real heavy guys who need a lesson in pain, Pikachu can overload his body and run at freakishly fast speeds to create the majestic volt tackle!

Wiz:On top of that he can even electrocute himself with thunder to create thunder armor which is absolutely the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of I mean seriously how does electricity, an energy that can easily be phased through even work to supposedly increase your strength and durability?!

Boomstick:Shut up and let the mouse electrocute himself!Anyways Pikachu also has improvised some techniques like the air roll which helps move away from dangerous hits in midair.Now with all this power, Pikachu definitely was able to not only hold his own but go beyond what a normal Pikachu can actually do because surprisingly, these electric mice are pretty average in comparison to most pokemon.

Wiz:But Pikachu proved he was anything but average, he’s strong enough to bash through military grade steel and solid stone which would require over 56,000 psi, can survive the explosion of a helicopter and a hit from Mega Lucario’s aura sphere which is capable of taking down Tyranitars which can take down entire mountains which we have stated would require 60 megatons of TNT, was fast enough to keep up with Poliwrath who is capable of reacting to the doom desire which is basically sunlight (which is about 60% the speed of light), was skilled enough to take down legendary Pokemon like Regice, was able to electrify an entire stadium which would require multiple Kilowatts of electricity,can clearly attack at the speed of lightning and he was smart enough to create improvised moves with the help of his trainer Ash.

Boomstick:Damn and this is a mouse the size of a new born baby! Why does Nintendo keep making cute things so deadly?!

Wiz:Who knows Boomstick but even then Pikachu’s best power is not some overpowering amount of strength or speed but rather his determination and friendship with his trainer which has gotten him out of the tightest of jams, most of the time.

Boomstick:But unfortunately Pikachu won’t be having Ash to save his ass and we can avoid all that lame friendship garbage.

Wiz:Speaking of lame, Pikachu despite his absurd power isn’t without flaws, because despite being a strong opponent, he is still a glass cannon and too much damage can leave him unable to fight, plus if he absorbs too much electricity he can be overtaxed and eventually even die if he is overcharged for too long, plus even with his smarts, he is clearly more tactical with Ash around and without him it can be hard to come up with the best decisions.

Boomstick:But aside from that, its gonna take a lot to take down the cute and adorable monster that is Pikachu!

(Pikachu charges his volt tackle and rams through a giant robot)

Chuck
(Cue Angry Birds epic main theme)

Wiz:Piggy Island is a strange place filled with many many green pigs who might have swine flu who are on a delicious quest for some eggs that were unfortunately for them, protected by the most dangerous creature of all:Angry Birds.

Boomstick:Wait a minute, I thought Piggy Island was just a land with only pigs and the birds lived on another island.

Wiz:No that’s just because of some shitty movie that didn’t give a damn over its source material.

Boomstick:That explains why my brain basically farted itself to near death.

Wiz:No that’s probably because of your alcohol indulgence, seriously I found 2,000 cans in one room, how do you not even die?

Boomstick:Like that dog from Duck Tales once said:SHEER WILLPOWER!

Wiz:Well first off, weirdo, and second, back to the combatant.Ehem, while the birds certainly have amazing talents in each department, there was one who definitely had a speedy edge amongst the flock and that bird was a yellow canary named Chuck.

Boomstick:Chuck? Lame, sounds like the name of a lead singer of a washed up boyband.

Wiz:Well aside from the name, Chuck would later prove that he was a worthy defender of eggs and a fighter of swines with his impressive and weaponized superhuman physique.

(Cue Angry Birds Battle for Piggy Island)

Boomstick:Now that sounds familiar, but anyways there are dozens of iterations of Chuck, such as the classic one from the first game to the one in the movie, but for this one we will be using only the feats in the games and their closely tied media including spin-offs that don’t go too beyond what has been proven by main series canon.Anyways Chuck’s superhuman physique is certainly one worth noting in just about any category such as his impressive strength, his ridiculous durability and most importantly, his cartoonish speed.

Wiz:All these things are just barely scratching the surface of what Chuck has in store, with the years he has been defending the eggs and doing other crazy things in his lifetime of taking down pigs. He’s got access to a growing potion, a magical earthquake, a blaster pistol and shotgun, a cloning unit, a thermal detonator, a rapid firing aim droid, a rocket car, a transformer mode when given energon which grants him shields, high end explosives, an EMP, a car form, and he even has a targeting antenna which is kind of redundant given that he can control his movement without it, and magical spells.

Boomstick:Step aside Wiz, I think one week of playing DnD has taught me the ropes of what’s coming up.Chuck has a wide variety of spells and moves that while they mostly revolve around the element of electricity, they also come with other things.He can create thunderstorms, acid rain, can heal his wounds with healing rain, can use electricity to counterattack others after being damaged with a shield of electricity, can directly summon electricity to shoot at his opponents, and can even eliminate someone’s status effects.Wow’ that is a lot of useful magic for a bird that’s pretty short.

Wiz:Wow, I can’t believe you actually went through the entire list of spells pretty accurately, maybe we should play more often, but then again on the seventh day you strangled me for you accidentally killing yourself in a-

Boomstick:DON’T REMIND ME OF POOR BOOMY!

(Cue King pig and his manic minions)

Wiz:Okay, Jesus I can’t do anything with you.Well anyways, Chuck is an experienced fighter all around and has been through thick and thin over the years.He’s strong enough to bash through solid wood without a sweat, can survive ginormous TNT explosions and can scale to Red who survived the explosion that leveled Pig City which to completely destroy a city of the size of Pig City, would require well over 15 Megatons of force.

Boomstick: On top of that he is ridiculously fast.While the official site states that he can run up to 100 mph, that is SEVERELY lowballing his capability as he has been shown to go so fast that the time around him seems to slow down by 50% of its actual speed, and for some real numbers, he can go so fast that he sets things on fire and can even go as fast as a plasma ion itself judging by the light he shines when traveling in his lazer bird form which if we compare it to that one time Wiz and I sent a middle fingered hand into outer space (don’t ask), that would clock in at about 200,000 Mph assuming he is being propelled by plasma ions, that’s Mach 260 by the way which is half the speed of a lightning strike and also guess what, he is so agile that he actually dodged lightning which goes at over mach 499, jesus how does this bird not turn into mush from his own speed, I mean being a poultry scientist and all, I should know that birds have straw thin bones and if human bones can’t survive does speeds than what chance do chicken bones have?

Wiz:Well my best guess is that Rovio probably followed my instructions and mutated these birds into super soldiers, or some other shit.But Anyways don’t be fooled because for all his speedy greatness, Chuck isn’t without flaws, for instance unlike a brilliant scientist like myself, Chuck is anything but a strategist, probably due to the fact that he is a bird, in other words he is literally bird-brained and is so stupid that he was fooled away from guarding the eggs by his own reflection or when he didn’t notice that there was a backdoor while bashing a gate, on top of that while he may be durable and fast, his durability does have limits and his strength is rather inconsistent as sometimes he struggles to even break stones and metals and at his very best he can barely crack or dent them much in some cases.And plus he can be extremely reckless and immature on top of already being plain stupid, but even with all his flaws and downsides, Chuck is one brave bird who is willing to risk it all for the eggs.

Boomstick:If somebody messes with his feathered companions, someone is going to pay the consequences.

(Chuck covers the eggs in a blanket from the rain and gives Red and umbrella, but Red is electrocuted)

Chuck:Oops

Preparation
Wiz:Alright the combatants are set and we’ve run the data through all possibilities!

Boomstick:Its time for a Death Battle!

Death Battle
In an unknown forest, a shock of lightning can be seen hitting an array of bottles, shattering them into electrified pieces.The lightning is revealed to have been from none other than the electric mouse Pokemon:Pikachu.

Ash:Okay Pikachu, good job now let’s try-

Suddenly Ash is interrupted by a rustling in the trees that seems to be approaching the duo fast.

Pikachu:Pika?

Ash:What the hec-

The rustling finally ends and it reveals a fast vehicle charging at blazing speeds.The car misses Pikachu but rams right into Ash, sending him flying and landing on the ground with a hard thud.The car finally stops after crashing straight into a boulder, when the dust clears, it reveals a yellow bird in the driving seat of the car, dazed but without a scratch from the crash, the same couldn’t be said for the car however, which was totaled and in shambles.The yellow, cone-shaped bird gets out of the car and examines the damage, including an unconscious Ash, burnt up grass, and an array of knocked down trees.

Chuck:Uhhhh, oops.

Pikachu checks up on Ash, and after checking on his unconscious state, sparks start to fly as he spots the causer of his trainer’s injuries.As Chuck checks on his surroundings, he finally spots the electric Pokemon in front of him and begins to panic as Pikachu charges his thunderbolt.

(Cue Battle of birds and polkabilly porks)

Pikachu: Pika-Chuuuuuu!!!

Pikachu shoots his thunderbolt directly at Chuck, but Chuck dodges upward, jumping out of the thunderbolt’s electric fury.Chuck lands on the side of the wreckage.Pikachu prepares another thunderbolt but Chuck intercepts with a quick charge tackle to the face, sending Pikachu flying a few meters and onto the ground.Pikachu gets up quickly and just in time to avoid a lightning strike from Chuck’s wand.

Chuck: Wazzah!

Chuck shoots more lightning strikes but Pikachu manages to avoid each one with grace.Getting impatient, Chuck charges a powerful bolt and shoots while Pikachu shoots an electro ball, the two electrical attacks clash, but the ball overpowers the blast, surprising and hitting Chuck head on.Chuck is electrocuted and burnt from the electro ball, but stays standing.Chuck summons the clouds for a healing rain and pulls out a growing potion, increasing his size.Chuck charges at Pikachu like a bullet train but Pikachu prepares his iron tail and clashes it with Chuck’s beak.The struggle lasts for 2 seconds before Pikachu overpowers Chuck and sends him toppling to the ground with a front flip iron tail smack.

(Cue King Pig and his manic minions)

Pikachu gets back on the ground while Chuck is dazed from the blow.Pikachu charges his electricity again for a thunder while Chuck recovers with healing rain.

Pika:Pika Pika Chuuuuu!!!

Pikachu throws a thunder at Chuck while Chuck shoots chain lightning to counter.Chuck Capitalizes and uses this opportunity to shoot Pikachu with his trusty blaster. The bolt hits Pikachu in the stomach and knocks him back.Chuck twirls his gun in joy and shoots two more shots, but Pikachu uses quick attack to maneuver past the shots and tackle Chuck.Pikachu charges but misses Chuck at the last second which Chuck attempts to capitalize with another shot but Pikachu is faster to the hit as he turns and hits Chuck straight on, sending him flying into a tree.

Chuck:Ow!

Pikachu:Pikachu!

Pikachu scratches his head and charges up for another thunderbolt.Chuck panics and throws a thermal detonator at Pikachu who shoots the thunderbolt, hitting the grenade and creating an explosion and smoke.Pikachu covers his eyes from the smoke while Chuck pulls out something shiny before being taken by the smoke.After it clears...Chuck has suddenly gained a metal body and a rocket blaster.

Pikachu:Pika?

Chuck:Hahaha!

Chuck joyfully dances with his new body before turning his face into a scowl and aiming his blaster at Pikachu.Chuck shoots a barrage of rockets which Pikachu attempts to avoid as best as he can, but Chuck suddenly gets in close and delivers a downward punch on Pikachu’s head, a knee to the stomach, and finally a roundhouse that sends Pikachu onto the ground.Pikachu gets up panting and prepares an Electro ball while Chuck simply stands there unamused.Pikachu opens fire with his electro ball but right as its about to hit, Chuck crushes an energon cube and activates his shield.Pikachu looks surprised while Chuck simply yawns, stretches and shoots a rocket that hits Pikachu right before he lands.Pikachu lands hard on the ground and begins to wheeze from the pain while Chuck simply gloats and dances.

(Cue Perfect Match 2:Adrenaline Rush)

Pikachu finally gets up and prepares his Iron tail technique. Chuck notices and tries to activate his shield again but it turns out that he used up the last of his energon. Pikachu gets closer and just as he is about to hit Chuck, Chuck activates his shock shield and it clashes with Pikachu’s iron tail. Pikachu lands a crunching hit on Chuck’s chest plate while the electricity of the shock shield courses through Pikachu.The hit knocks down Chuck and sends Pikachu backflipping in the air and landing effortlessly on the ground.Pikachu is shocked a little by the electricity of the shock shield but is soon absorbing the electricity and smiles.

Pikachu:Pikachu!

Pikachu electrifies a net and launches it at Chuck, ensnaring him in electricity and slowing him down.

Chuck: Ow, Grrrrr!

Chuck struggles with the web and attempts to break free but its too late as Pikachu charges his quick attack and hits Chuck with so much force that it knocks him out of his Transformer suit.Pikachu doesn’t stop his assault as he keeps tackling Chuck over and over until he finishes his combo with an iron tail hit straight to the head, grounding Chuck on the ground.Pikachu lands on the ground and prepares his electricity for another attack to finish the fight.Chuck gets out of the hole battered and beaten and notices Pikachu charging his electricity.Chuck finally unleashes his anger and charges his own body with electricity and activates his bandana, readying for his own tackle.Finally after a few seconds of charging, the two yellow animals charge at each other at full speed and strike each other with so much force that the shockwave produced from the hit causes a few trees to be knocked back.

Chuck:Wah wah Wazzah!

Pikachu: Pika Pika Pika Chuuuuuuu!!!

Pikachu and Chuck are head to head and both of them try to overpower one another with sheer speed and brute force, fire and electricity start to erupt from where they are standing and the ground beneath them begins to cave in.Pikachu and Chuck glare at one another and their rage at each other just increases as the struggle continues.Chuck keeps his blazing speed going with a burning rage while Pikachu’s lightning fast pace and shocking anger fails to submit. Chuck tries to overpower Pikachu by using a duplication spell to double his charge, but Pikachu rather than being overwhelmed simply keeps going with strong determination. Chuck finally snaps and shocks Pikachu repeatedly with a dancing spark, initially it starts to wear down Pikachu and Chuck starts to laugh at his lead...Until Pikachu smirks and his speed increases to the point of being a mere blur to even Chuck’s superhuman reaction time.Chuck and his double keep going with their charge but the electricity and overwhelming force they are handling becomes too much for them to handle and finally Pikachu tackles through Chuck, electrocuting him fatally to the point that Chuck disintegrates in an agonizing scream.The hit causes an electrical explosion from the small crater and the light blinds the scene.After the light clears, the only living thing left in the crater is Pikachu, wounded and burnt, but alive.Ash finally wakes up from his unconscious state and looks in panic as he sees a crater in the ground a hundred meters away from him.He checks it to see his yellow mouse buddy alive but injured.Pikachu gets out of the crater and lands in Ash’s confused arms.Ash and Pikachu both look at the camera.

Pikachu:Pika

Ash:What the heck did I just miss?

KO

Aftermath
Pikachu and Ash are seen now in a town, eating hot dogs while Chuck’s burnt headband and top feathers are seen in the crater.

Results
Boomstick:Damn, these animals are definitely not so cute anymore to me.