The Creeper vs. The Predator

The Creeper vs. The Predator is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features The Creeper from the two Jeepers Creepers movies, and The Predator from the Predator movies, comics and video games.

Description
Ernest Hemingway once said that, “There is no hunting like the hunting of man.” Well, these two would agree wholeheartedly. One make trophies out of people, and the other makes meals out of them!

Interlude
Boomstick: Mankind has always liked to think of itself as the top of the food chain, the ones who hunt, but are not ever hunted.

Wiz: Well, that was never entirely true.

'''Boomstick: Just ask your mega-mega-great-grandfather who got eaten by a saber-toothed tiger. You know, the one who’s last words were “Agh! Agh! Don’t eat me!”'''

Wiz: Well, it wasn’t true back then, and it’s not true now.

Boomstick: One of the great human hunters is the Creeper, the head (he he) antagonist of the Jeepers Creepers movies.

Wiz: And, the other one is the Predator, the main antagonist of the Predator movies.

Boomstick: He’s Wiz, and I’m Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

The Creeper
Boomstick: Every 23rd spring, for 23 days, the Creeper gets to go out into the world and hunt.

Wiz: And what does the Creeper hunt? People.

'''Boomstick: Soylent Green is made out of people! [He he] Actually, it’s not bad. Tastes a bit like chicken.'''

Wiz: Well, the Creeper does not hunt for food. Instead, it hunts for spare parts.

Boomstick: Wiz, I think you better start from the beginning.

Wiz: Well, that’s the problem. At least as of now, we don’t know the origin of the Creeper. What we do know is that the Creeper is at least hundreds of years old, and has a humanoid body that he can regenerate new body pieces by taking similar pieces off of humans.

'''Boomstick: He hunts people down, and through their fear, can smell what they have that he wants. Kind of like me at a smorgasbord.'''

Wiz: No matter how damaged a part of his body is, he can remove it, and regenerate a replacement by ingesting a replacement part. Regardless of what the part looked like when he took it, when it regenerates onto his body, it looks like the part that he lost.

Boomstick: “Ingest,” that means eat, right?

Wiz: Well, it’s not really that clear. After the Creeper had a javelin thrust right through his head, he tore away half of his own head, and then ingested a boy’s head, tore off the damaged head, and sprouted a new head.

'''Boomstick: Holy crap! That’s...just plain weird. Badassed...but weird!'''

Wiz: It appears that the Creeper has a human-derived body, backed up by an apparently indestructible creature that is the permanent part of him. It provides at least the wings and clawed hood structure behind the head.

'''Boomstick: The Creeper does take damage when attacked, and has needed a number of new parts. But, though the injuries slow the Creeper down, nothing has been able to kill him. He’s been run over repeatedly by a car, shot repeatedly with guns, been thrust through repeatedly with a canon-fired harpoon, been blown up with a pickup truck, and had a javelin thrust right through his head, leaving him looking like a life-sized voodoo doll.'''

Wiz: And, interestingly, the Creeper does not seem to bleed, at least not much. Wounds that should have resulted in massive blood loss, resulted in only a little seepage. And, in spite of a vengeful father stabbing the Creeper over and over again, the creature only stopped moving when it ran out of time and went back into its hibernation sleep.

Boomstick: The Creeper is also very strong, much stronger than a normal human, being able to schlep around bodies like they are bags of laundry, and he has powerful wings that allow him to fly at speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour.

Wiz: “Schlep?”

'''Boomstick: Yeah, schlep. What, you don’t know English?'''

Wiz: What I do know is that the Creeper is a formidable opponent for anyone. He often carries a battleaxe, and creates shuriken out of human body parts. He is not to be taken lightly.

The Predator
'''Boomstick: The Predator! A member of an interstellar race of big game hunters. A race that like to go hunting...for humans..'''

Wiz: Known to themselves as Yautjas, these formidable people are high-tech hunters who live for the hunt. Their culture prizes the stalking and killing of dangerous prey

Boomstick: And, they travel across the galaxy, hunting and killing all sort of weird creatures.

Wiz: Yautja’s are tall, standing about seven feet tall and weighing over five hundred pounds. They are very strong, and they are ruthless. They don’t necessarily give a prey a “sporting chance” – which is a human concept – but will often fire from ambush, using their superior technology to take a prey down quickly.

Boomstick: And they are UGLY MOTHER-F...

Wiz: Boomstick!

'''Boomstick: Wiz, have you seen these guys? It’s no wonder they all wear masks. They have a face that not even an alien monster-humper could love!'''

Wiz: Yautjas prefer to hunt dangerous prey, and they take trophies off of each kill. A Yautja maintains a trophy collection to show his worth.

Boomstick: They take the strong and the dangerous, steering clear of human females that are not armed

Wiz: And they have a formidable array of weapons. First of all, the Yautja wear a mask that give them information on their surroundings, and enhance their vision, especially in the infrared end of the spectrum, which they find useful when hunting.

'''Boomstick: And each Predator has a laser canon on his shoulder that interacts with a targeting computer built into his mask. Plus, he carries a wrist-mounted pair of blades that it can extend for hand-to-hand combat.'''

Wiz: And if they are going against particularly dangerous opponents, they have other weapons, such as netguns and all manner of bladed weapons, not to mention many heavy energy weapons.

'''Boomstick: The Predators love a good fight, especially one that they can win, and take a trophy from. They’ll never give a sucker an even break – they don’t believe in sportsmanship the way that humans do, and they love spreading fear and panic. Nothing flips their switch like reducing a strong opponent to a quivering pile of fear...just before they finish it off.'''

Wiz: They are formidable opponents who have been hunting humans for millennia, and they have gotten very good at it.

'''Boomstick: Alright the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all. It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!'''