User blog:DENSTIFY1/Dedede vs Wario - Blog

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King Dedede vs Wario is a What-if death battle featuring King Dedede from the Kirby series and Wario from the Mario Bros series. It was made by Venom Gia, the Spider, adopted by Arigarmy, and later adopted by DENSTIFY1.

Description
Kirby vs Mario! Of these two 'large' Nintendo greedbags, who's got the stronger stuff?

Intro
(Cue: Invader)

Wiz: Nintendo is fill to the brim of larger than life characters.

Boomstick: Though these two take that idea just a bit too far.

Wiz: And with their black and white thieving introductions, they've left an impact like no other.

Boomstick: King Dedede, the self proclaimed King of Dreamland.

Wiz: And Wario, the scoundrel with a fart of gold.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!

King Dedede
(Cue: The Adventure Begins)

Wiz: The planet of Popstar is a, ‘’relatively’’ peaceful place.

Boomstick: Oh yeah, if your idea of a “relatively peaceful place” is a huge ass star the gets invaded every five minutes, sure.

Wiz: R-right, but it’s never been invaded for long, with the mind of a child and incredible power behind him, the Star Warrior Kirby has always been there to protect his world from devastation.

'''Boomstick: And in his very first outing as the hero of Popstar, he had to undo the actions of a truly horrible creature, who had committed the most horrible act of villainy known to man!... He stole a bunch of food!'''

Wiz: This “villain” would come to be known as the proud penguin monarch, King Dedede.

Boomstick: Hold on, you’re telling me this Santa looking dude is the big bad of the Kirby series?

Wiz: Well not really, while he certainly started as an enemy to Kirby, over the years they’ve grown into rivals who help eachother out when needed, he’s even been described by Nintendo as Kirby’s ‘arch-frenemy’.

'''Boomstick: “Arch-frenemy”? Seriously? Eh, thinking about I probably shouldn’t have expected better from the company that lets a Princess play tennis with her repeated kidnapper.'''

Wiz: Regardless of his questionable friendship status with Kirby, Dedede is still a proud always ready to fight to defend his kingdom, and his pride, and eating habits…

(Cue: Boss Theme Medley)

Boomstick: And when he does start fighting, he’s no slouch either, dude carries a huge ass hammer with him all the time, as well as a buncha spiked balls with eyes he can pull from literally nowhere and toss around just as easy.

Wiz: Dedede’s hammer is much like Kirby’s own hammer copy ability, but with lots of improvements, it’s far longer than the regular hammer Kirby uses, and it’s mechanical upgrades allow it to spin on its end or open up and swing with the speed of a jet engine.

'''Boomstick: He can do more than just swing some mallet around, his inhale is like Kirby’s own inhale ability on steroids! His Super Dedede Jump is like a ground pound on steroids! And his Head Slide is like falling over… On steroids!'''

Wiz: Strangest of all is his ability to fly, by sucking up air he puffs up his body and floats around just like Kirby, which he, and I’m not kidding here, taught himself to do out of spite.

'''Boomstick: Wait what!? How do you angrily learn how to fly?'''

Wiz: I don’t really get it either, though that isn’t all he gained out of his constant losses to Kirby, one day Dedede had decided he had had enough, and challenged Kirby to settle their rivalry one last time, this time he had taken on a new persona: Masked Dedede.

(Cue: Masked Dedede (Triple Deluxe))

'''Boomstick: In his Masked Dedede form, he carries a ridiculous new hammer, this thing can do pretty much anything his first one could, only now it’s made of metal, can give out shockwave attacks, and can fire a barrage of fucking missiles?! How is he doing this? Someone please point me to the Waddle Dee that discovered how to create literal hammerspaces because this is just ridiculous.'''

Wiz: His hammer isn’t the only thing that improved, several of his moves like the Inhale, Super Dedede Jump, and Head Slide are much stronger thanks to this mask.

Boomstick: Mask or not, Dedede is one seriously tough cookie, he can deal damage to Kirby, take hits from him constantly, and even keep up with him and his Warp Star speed wise.

Wiz: He’s taken on foes like Queen Sectonia, Shadow Dedede, Dark Meta Knight, and Magolor, granted the last of those was with help.

Boomstick: Dude was on top of a beanstalk the size of Popstar and it exploded, and he was totally fine!

Wiz: Despite all this, Dedede is far from perfect, he’s extremely overconfident and incompetent, add this onto his clumsy nature and he’s a very predictable opponent to fight against.

Boomstick: Yeah he’s far from the brightest bird in the box, he’s been possessed ‘’six times’’ and stuff like gordos and his jet hammer can actively hurt him if he uses them wrong.

Wiz: Regardless, King Dedede is a proud king and warrior who will always be ready to clobber those who get in his way.

Escargoon: You’re a hero to us all sire!

King Dedede: Aw come now little ol’ me a hero surely you jestin!

Wario
(Cue: Battle Canyon)

(Cue: Ruins (MIDI))

DEATH BATTLE
(Cue: Welcome to Mafia Town)

Castle Dedede

It was just like any other day at Castle Dedede, there wasn’t any planet wide invasion going on or massive event to host, so all the Waddle Dees were either patrolling or sleeping outside the castle.

However, they couldn’t anticipate an unexpected visitor on the lookout for gold…

CRASH!

???: WAAAAA-HAHAHAH!

Bursting through the walls of the castle interior with a huge sack of money, the unexpected visitor revealed himself to be a short, rotund man with strangely muscular arms and a face that exemplifies his despicable personality, the yellow and purple clad thief. Wario.

Using his signature shoulder bash, Wario began to plough through all the Waddle Dees in his path, none of them could stop him.

Word had spread throughout the castle extremely quickly, with one Waddle Dee running as fast as his little legs would allow towards to the castle’s throne room. To find their great ruler fast asleep on the throne.

Wario: Hehahaha! Have a rotten day!

Wario continued his assault through the castle, only to find himself totally lost in a room he swore he’d been in before.

While he stomped his foot in anger, he didn’t notice the two challengers approaching from form behind.

???: Rah reh rehaha!

Wario turned to see a Waddle Dee just like the ones he’d ploughed through a few minutes ago, joined by a much larger bird creature, wielding a large hammer, and grinning at him as if to say "Yeah, you’re not going anywhere".

King Dedede, the so-called King of Dreamland, had came along to deal with this intruder himself.

FIGHT!

(Cue: Train Rush)

Conclusion
(Cue: Trainwreak of Electro Swing)

Who are you rooting for? Dedede Wario Who do you think will win? Dedede Wario What would you rather have? Dedede's hammer Nuclear farts

Next time
"Your eyes deceive you. / An illusion fools you all. / I move for the kill."

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