User blog:LakuitaBro01.2/Episode 1 of Total Drama Death Battle Fanon Wiki Preview

(The camera sits upon an island with a boat sailing towards it in the distance. Two men are seen standing on a pier watching as the boat comes.)

Boomstick: Can we speed this up?

Wiz: No, we have to build suspense or something.

Boomstick: Well FUCK that!

(Boomstick presses a button that causes the boat to explode, sending twenty four people flying towards the island. They all land in the water in front of the pier.)

Wiz: BOOMSTICK!

Boomstick: Sorry.

(A few limbs land next to the two hosts. Wiz glares at Boomstick)

Boomstick: It’s not my fault that a few contestants decided to stand on the same place the explosives were.

Wiz: Whatever, you guys okay?

(A few contestants are beginning to climb on the dock. The first one to get up on the dock is Para.)

Para: Bow down before you king Para Goomba the Third!

Wiz: I’ll take that as a no.

(The next person jumps onto the pier holding two great whites while explosions go off in the distance he then let’s the sharks go behind him into the water, the twenty-two other contestants screaming in fear.)

Blade: My name… is Blade.

Boomstick: Cool, hope you enjoy using up our budget while you’re here.

Blade: Gladly.

(The next person floats up the pier instead of climbing. He jumps off of the object carrying him, a pencil sharpener.)

Arach: First of all, fuck you, writer. Why’d you have to blow up the ship? Second of all, FUCK YO LOGIC!

(The next person glares at the Fourth Wall Aware. He struggles to get on the pier and when he does, he socks the guy in the back.)

Micky: Why didn’t you carry everyone else up?

Arach: I’m sorry, I should have expanded the size of a FIVE FUCKING INCH PLASTIC PENCIL SHARPENER!

Micky: You floated up on it, why not do that-

Arach: Wow, just because I can do that makes you assume I can do anything? Wow. Fourth Wall-cist.

(A girl crawls onto the pier and stands in between the two and places her hands on both of their chests, holding them back.)

Aqua: Please, don’t fight!

Arach: Whatever, toots, you’re just here because the writer needs an oblivious person.

Aqua: How did you know-

Arach: Magic.

Wiz: Stop arguing, we have to get back to the introductions!

Micky: Yeah, shut up Arach.

(Arach mutters a reply in a mocking tone)

Aqua: Ugh…

(The next contestant climbs up on the pier. He is a little more heavy weight than the others so far.)

Dedede: Sup. I’m Dedede, named after King Dedede-

Para: King? I’m the only king here! EN GARDE-

(Blade elbows Para in the stomach, sending him keeling over into the water.)

Blade: Fucking Kanye West wannabe…

Dedede: Welp, this will go greatly for me…