SCP-682 vs Bowser

SCP-682 vs Bowser is a What-If? Death Battle that is written by Christian Higdon

Description
SCP Foundation vs Nintendo. Reptiles of immense rage, strength, power, durability, and forms go head-to-head, one wanting to rule the world, the other wanting to end it.

Interlude
Wiz: When you think of the phrase "lose your temper", there are a few things you can think of. Monsters, gods, even we humans have gotten furious sometimes.

'''Boomstick: And these two utilize their strength in their fury. In an all out fight though, who would win? Bowser, the king of the Koopas.'''

Wiz: And SCP-682, the hard to destroy reptile. Now, for this fight, we will be using a mix of every Bowser, because it would be unfair for the poor guy if we didn't.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'M BOOMSTICK!

Wiz: And it's our job to anylyze their weapons, armours, and suits to see who would win a DEATH BATTLE!

Bowser
(Cue ~ Bowser's Theme)

Wiz: Bowser, the Koopa King.

Boomstick: Maybe some sort of mixed breed between a turtle and a dragon.

Wiz: Anyway, let's begin with Bowser's arsenal. First he has his Koopa Clown Car, which he can summon at will, and let's him fly, drop huge cannon balls, and smash enemies with a surprising amount of force, as it shakes Bowser's Castle!

'''Boomstick: Then he's even got the Super Bell, which transforms him into Meowser. Meowser is practically invincible, can scale an entire skyscraper, and he can also use his claws, tail, and Flame Breath to hurt enemies! Then, Bowser also carries a total of 5 Double Cherries to duplicate himself.'''

Wiz: But then there's Bowser's strongest piece of arsenal. The Dream Stone. This can grant any wish of Bowser's, and is potentially limitless. Then again, through good thoughts and powerful magic, Peach & Starlow were able to destroy the Dream Stone. But no physical attacks can harm the Dream Stone. Even if it is destroyed however, Bowser can absorb it, transforming into Dreamy Bowser.

'''Boomstick: ...HE'S A F**KING RAINBOW!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! A RAINBOW ISN'T GONNA HURT SOMEONE!!!'''

Wiz: Hear me on this one Boomstick. You'll be surprised! Dreamy Bowser is immensely more powerful than normal, possibly having his power increased hundreds of times over. He can create anything, duplicate himself, use telekinesis, heal himself, block anything with his right arm, and can grow in size. Dreamy Bowser's Flame Breath is also immensely strengthened, as it is much bigger, much stronger, and can even be split into 3 different beams at once! Not to mention Dreamy Bowser can even throw Mario or Luigi around the world in a few seconds, and create giant shockwaves just by stomping the ground.

'''Boomstick: ...HOLY F**KING S**T!!! A RAINBOW IS GOD, KIDS!!! THE MORE YOU KNOW!!!'''

Wiz: Even with all that, Bowser also is a fearless fighter, with many abilities outside of his arsenal.

(Cue ~ Final Battle with Bowser)

'''Boomstick: Bowser's first move is his Flame Breath. His Flame Breath is unaffected by water at all. The only other fire that hot is the sun's, making Bowser's Flame Breath to be around 3.5 million degrees F., and 2 million degrees C.'''

Wiz: Then Bowser's able to fight hand-to-hand extremely efficiently, with moves ranging from his claws, to punches, kicks, ect. Bowser also has his own version of the Star Spin.

Boomstick: '''But let's not forget what Bowser's shell does for him. He's able to curl up into a spiky ball and hit enemies, aswell as climb soft walls, and it's also a great defense.'''

Wiz: Bowser also has some insane feats. For example, he was confirmed as the strongest Mario character, meaning he's stronger than Mario, who lifted 100 tons effortlessly, and Donkey Kong, who punched the moon out of orbit, not to mention he also has his own strength feats. Bowser pulled an island into land so quickly it caused an earthquake, stopped a train, smashed small planets, picked up and threw his castle, a giant robot, and a massive cannon ball enormous distances, and can smash boulders easily. Plus, Bowser can even cause earthquakes by simply walking, aswell as being able to send out shock waves by stomping.

'''Boomstick: But something even more insane is Bowser's durability! Bowser survived being crushed by his castle, smashed by a train, crashed through countless boulders, thrown into a black hole, thrown into the sun, atmospheric re-entry, and a hypernova, all while walking away more salty than hurt!'''

Wiz: And while walking Bowser is slow, while running he can even sometimes outrun Mario, who is FTL, thanks to outrunning black holes. Real ones to. And if that's not enough for ya, he can even teleport! And Bowser has even succeeded in dodging lasers with relative ease. And lightning strengthens him, transforming him into Giga Bowser, a much more powered up version of Bowser that also has elemental properties.

'''Boomstick: And if someone, or something, manages to be to hot for Bowser to handle, he simply becomes Dry Bowser. Dry Bowser is double Bowser's speed and durability, but loses half his strength. Regardless, Dry Bowser can even manipulate his size, giving his strength back. And Dry Bowser's Flame Breath is also 3x hotter than normal Bowser's. And we'll use that to figure out how much heat can Dry Bowser resist, as he is heat resistant. With normal Bowser being fine with the sun, and Dry Bowser's Flame Breath is 3x hotter than Bowser's, which is as hot as the sun, and Dry Bowser can only be hurt by his own flames, meaning Dry Bowser could resist about 3 suns worth of heat. That would equal up to 10.5 million degrees F., and 6 million degrees C.'''

Wiz: Then, when in a critical condition, Bowser's Adrenaline can kick in, which turns him giant and ups all his stats. And with all this, Bowser's biggest weakness still remains his stupidity. Bowser isn't one of those guys that looks for his enemy's weaknesses. As a matter of fact, Bowser prefers brawn over brain.

'''Boomstick: Like a bada**! When your THAT f**king strong, why do you need brains?'''

Bowser: 'GWAHAHA! Great dark hurricane! Seriously, perfect backdrop for an awesome final battle! You really sweet the details! Listen up! Your saying the kingdom will vanish? NOT TODAY! THIS KINGDOM IS ALL MINE! SO YOU VANISH!!'

SCP-682
(Cue ~ Medusa)

Wiz: The SCP Foundation are a group of scientists whose jobs are to protect humanity themselves from oddly-behaving objects or creatures, which they named SCPs. They secure. They contain. They protect.

A record is heard scratching.

'''Boomstick: WAIT A MINUTE! Are you telling me that an adaptive regenerating lizard that hates humanity with a flaming passion's full name is SecureContainProtect-682? What a total f**k-up!'''

Wiz: There are three kinds of SCPs: the Safe class, which are exactly what they sound like. The Euclid class however aren't as safe and act in dangerous ways. But the most dangerous group is the Keter class.

Boomstick: And out of all the Keter-class SCPs, SCP-682, also known as the Hard-To-Destroy Reptile, has to be the worst.

Wiz: As Boomstick said, SCP-682 has a hatred of all life and will stop at nothing to kill his victims in cold blood. What makes him so incredibly dangerous is his ability to adapt to anything that destroys his body tissue. And if that weren't enough, he can quickly regenerate injuries, even if he is reduced to 13% of his body mass.

'''Boomstick: SCP-682 also possesses superhuman durability, or should I say superreptilian durability. He can survive a fall all the way from an airplane.'''

Wiz: SCP-682 can also absorb the biomass of other beings and add it to his own and absorb different types of energy in through his skin.

Boomstick: Another display of SCP-682's impressive durability comes from when he survived eating one pound of potassium cyanide.

Wiz: He even survived being shrouded in SCP-017's shadows, which leaves no trace of its victims. It is even said that SCP-682 is not of one of God's creations.

'''Boomstick: He also the time where he competed against SCP-1548 in a rap battle and won. And that dude is pretty much a galaxy!'''

(Cue ~ SCP-682 Orchestral)

Wiz: And in one instance, SCP-682 was put into a book and was able to kill a monster whose sole attribute was being able to kill him.

'''Boomstick: Holy s**t! That's actually terrifying!'''

Wiz: And SCP-682 was once exposed to a gem which can turn all living tissue to crystal, and he adapted his body to be immune to that before it could turn him to crystal. Oh, and P.S, he became immune to it afterward.

'''Boomstick: SCP-682 can even program a computer just by looking at it! Hell, he even survived the laws of physics being changed to destroy everything and a matter-destroying toothbrush! Jesus Christ! They don't call him the Hard-To-Destroy Reptile for nothing!'''

Wiz: That is true, but SCP-682 actually has weaknesses, and you're not going to believe this: SCP-682 was once... (Snicker) tamed by a little girl-

Wiz and Boomstick burst into laughter.

Boomstick: Is that not the stupidest thing you've ever heard?

Wiz: Hilariously stupid flaw aside, SCP-682 has also lost against SCP-2599 and if his ENTIRE body is destroyed, he's as good as dead.

Boomstick: Not to mention, most of SCP-682's adaption are temporary and will wear off after a few weeks.

Wiz: And despite his intelligence, SCP-682 gets angry rather easily. But regardless of this, SCP-682 is still incredibly dangerous and hard to destroy.

SCP-682: When I break out of this containment, they will regret ever attempting to control me, and I will wipe out every single of them!

Pre-Fight


Wiz: Okay, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!