Boomstick

Boomstick is one of the two hosts of the show Death Battle.

Fanon Quotes

 * IT'S FREAKING SUNKERN!! (Telling Wiz that Magikarp is actually the second weakest Pokemon)


 * Because what better way to take care of bullets or shrapnel than a couple volts? (on Cole MacGrath's healing abilities)
 * Not that it makes this happy little accident any less awkward. (on Jin Kazama falling onto his cousin Asuka's chest in her ending)
 * Wait, Wiz! The pole-dancing is totally vital! (on Kasumi in Dead Or Alive: Xtreme 2)
 * What the hell is he even trying to say? That they have something up in their butt? (on Liu Kang's gibberish during his trademark bicycle kick)
 * ...but of course his gosh-darned cocky-honor...ness just had to get in the way. (on Scorpion not teleporting his enemies to the Netherrealm in all of his fights)
 * And I thought Deathstroke not regrowing his eye didn't make any sense. Good thing Inuyasha didn't cut off anything important. (on Sesshōmaru's healing factor]]
 * I don't know many people who don't know of this guy. I mean, he's weak, he's got a ponytail, and he's even got a martial arts outfit like Ryu and Ken's... but in PINK! (Describing Dan Hibiki)
 * He's Jack Thompson's worst nightmare! (Referring to Trevor Philips)
 * Oh, and did we mention this guy has some pretty wacky eyebrows? (Referring to Lord Brevon in Lilac's analysis)
 * Where can I find that database robot thing? Is there a password? Is it "Boomstick is awesome"? (Wanting Lilac's Giant robo-dragon)
 * Well, two questions - one, who was his wife? Cuz that must have been a lot of sex they had. And two... why do they all look so creepy? (Asking about the Tracys)
 * Three questions, now - what does Super Mario have to do with puppets and these machines? TV really confuses me sometimes. (Expanding on his questions about the Tracys)
 * Maybe it's Thunderbirdium? (Taking a stab at what the armour of Thunderbird 2 is composed of)
 * How the hell does that work? Does she have some kind of McDonalds or Burger King in that Dream World of hers somewhere?? (Referring to Madotsuki's Fat Effect)
 * And he blew up a lot of that base. Michael Bay would be proud. (On Omega destroying Eggman's base in the Team Dark intro of Sonic Heroes)
 * I'm not a health expert, but that doesn't sound like a healthy eating plan. (Referring to Gaston's diet)
 * I understand the kind of misunderstanding when it came to Kirby, but come on now, this girl's young, she's got a sweet smile and she's got hair that makes her look like she got ejected from a Taffy machine! (Describing Compa)
 * But get this - she also gift wraps BOMBS! I don't even--what is it with these kind of characters being psychopaths?! (Referring to Amy Rose gift-wrapping bombs as a trap attack in Sonic Battle)
 * YES! MORE! MORE ASS-KICKING GUNS! (In the zone with Chains' arsenal)
 * Captain Planet would be proud. Or mortified. Maybe both. (On Star-Lord's Element Gun)
 * It's like Super Smash Bros with more violence... and without the use of thought. (Explaining Pandora's tribe fighting one another under the influence of the spirits of SIn)
 * Damn a missile launcher and a mini-gun and they're wielded by a badass chick. Now I would wonder if I can have them? (When talking about Noel Vermillion's Bolverk being able to transform into Thor and Fenrir)
 * You mean she has a Personally! (When Wiz started to talk about Aigis's Persona)
 * Instead of Guile's simple bicycle kick movement, he opts for a more complicated front-flip forward somersault kick... thing. And then he kicks... again. So... yeah. (Attempting to describe Charlie Nash's Flash Kick)
 * Man, I wish I could use a Crossfire Blitz in real life. I'd probably win a lot more bar fights. (Wanting Charlie Nash's Crossfire Blitz)
 * Anyway, by the age of six, he was involved in a plan to BLOW UP THE LOCH NESS MONSTER! Talk about starting your life on a high! (On The Demoman's backstory)
 * I don't get why he wants it back, though. It's about 10 or 15 feet tall and is essentially a monster! That's not gunna fit in his eye sockets! (On The Demoman wanting his eye back despite the fact that it turned into Monoculus)
 * I'm surprised these people even have legs left. (On the Rocket Jump and Sticky Jump techniques for The Soldier and The Demoman)
 * Why the hell would they disallow marriage and sex?! No wonder Skywalker wanted to join the Dark Side! (On the Jedi rule and its unfortunate effect on Anakin Skywalker)
 * Of course he would be burnt like a steak. Mustafar's a volcanic planet, it's not like SPF-25 is going to prevent that. (On Anakin Skywalker's burns following his defeat to Obi-Wan Kenobi on the planet Mustafar)
 * He can choke me to death without even touching me AND know all my secrets? Better steer clear of this guy! (On Darth Vader's telepathy)
 * Worst. Day care. Ever. (Summarizing the Umbrella Corporation's Wesker children project)
 * It's canon to me, okay?! (Raving about how he ships Maka Albarn with Soul Eater)
 * Sonic vs. Ruby confirmed, guys. The hype is real. (After Wiz calculates Ruby's speed)
 * Yep - apparently Adeline felt that her son being unable to speak - despite being, y'know, ALIVE and not killed by the guys who kidnapped him - was enough to warrant Slade losing an eye. Guess he can join the pirate club with The Demoman now. (On how Deathstroke lost his eye)
 * I still wonder if it closes when he's trying to take a piss... (On Deathstroke's armour)
 * This is sounding suspiciously like the backstory of RoboCop... (On Monsoon's backstory)
 * I get it... because Monsoon is a monsoon, Mistral is mist, and Sundowner is... uh... the sun going down... I guess? (Attempting to match up the names of the Winds of Destruction with their original names)

Fanon Post-Match Puns
SPOILER WARNING!

'''The following section reveals the outcomes to some What-If? Death Battles. Turn away if you don't want them to be spoiled.'''

You have been warned.
 * Scorpion should have known better than to stare.
 * Jin gave it his all, but in the end, he lost his head. The one on his neck.
 * Liu Kang gave a hole new meaning to close match, but then Ryu snapped.
 * He gave Sesshōmaru a good fight, but in the end, Bakusaiga was Vergil's Downfall.
 * Looks like Link gave Mario a heart attack. Literally!
 * Amy just got Compa-letely destroyed!
 * Trevor was set to take the win, but Dallas stole it right from under his nose!
 * ''Looks like Aigis just couldn't stand up against Kusanagi
 * Looks like Ant man was crushed
 * Now that's what I call a Sonic Boom!
 * Vader just gave Wesker the splits!
 * Kirito just lacked the proper Exsphere-ience!
 * I Mado-kan't comprehend the outcome of this battle.
 * This battle was quite smashing.
 * Jeff's just such a KNIFE guy.
 * ''What was the hardest part of this battle for Hiccup and Toothless? The ground!
 * Colette's looking a little im-pale there.
 * It's all ogre now.
 * Renji may be dead, but he lives on in Spear-it.
 * Mewtwo's chance of victory was a No Cell.
 * Goku never Kamehame-had a chance.
 * Vash the Stampede? More like Vash the Stam-pieces!
 * Morrigan sealed Dark Pit's fate... with a kiss.
 * This battle was a Kirby-stomp.]]
 * A moment of scythe-lence for Ruby?
 * Glacius was doing awesome... then he froze up. 
 * That was one "hack" of a fight!
 * Franklin's death sure was Overkill!
 * Maul was winning, but Vader forced him to lose!
 * Slade was so good, Monsoon couldn't pull himself together!