User blog:The Irish VS Writer/Spider-Man vs The Scout: Both Previews

Spider-Man
(Spider-Man 1 Theme)

Wiz: Peter Parker really wasn't somebody you would expect to be a hero: He was wimpy and he was constantly bullied by the likes of Flash Thompson.

'''Boomstick: Day in day out. This little bitch was either shoved into his locker, Being pushed around the place, Tripped up and all the stereotypical sorts of shit you see all the time in all those shitty 90s movies your mom for some reason keeps watching with you!'''

Wiz: This lasted for years, But it all changed when on one fateful day, Peter and his class went on a field trip and he was bitten by a Radioactive Spider...

Boomstick: Yeah, Yeah we get it he became a wrestler, Uncle died blah blah, Great Power comes Great Responsibility blah blah you know how this shit goes.

Wiz: Many years have passed since Spider-Man swore to respect his Uncle Ben's memory, And Peter has changed from an inexperienced child to a fully grown man with a job, And he had even finally defeated many of New York's greatest villains like The Kingpin, Green Goblin and Venom.

Boomstick: And he hasn't been slouching for all those years and he's deffo gotten pretty damn good at fighting over that time!

(Alive)

Wiz: Spider-Man is really smart for a Teen his age and considered one of the smartest people in the Marvel Universe the same list that his Reed Richards, Victor Von Doom and Iron-Man, Hell he even disarmed a bomb that Reed Richards and Tony Stark couldn't.

'''Boomstick: Apparently he has an IQ of 250 which apparently is very impressive, But to me, it's just a number. What does it mean Wiz?'''

Wiz: A man by the name of Marilyn Vos Savant in the year 1984 scored an IQ of 228 Which means that Spider-Man has an IQ that is a little more than the smartest man in the world.

'''Boomstick: Damn so that means he is smarter than Stephen Hawkings and Albert Einstein? Shit. No wonder he is always welcome to be with The Avengers even though he's just a teenager, You know the team that has The Hulk and Thor in it!?'''

Wiz: That's mainly because of his skills in combat, He's been able to battle Daredevil to a standstill and even surpass him in some of their fights.

Boomstick: And Daredevil isn't some blind guy to laugh at, This guy is the same guy who is a master Boxer, And is a master of Pressure Point combat.

Wiz: Spider-Man just fight up close against his opponents, He usually blitzes his opponents with his Acrobatics and his immense Speed: As he usually manoeuvres through trap rooms with walls that burn someone touches them, And he can get around these with ease.

Boomstick: But even then he's a quick little fucker as he can dodge shots from Iron Man's repulsor blasts which are apparently as fast as light!

Wiz: Though most of Spider-Man's greatest speed feats thanks to the Spider-Sense. Which unlike what most people think it does, In fact, it allows him to see in all directions for any attacks or even poisons and if he's being betrayed, Which comes in the form of a tingle in his skull.



Boomstick: Ohhh I think I might have Spider-Sense Wiz!

Wiz: You Do?

Boomstick: Yeah sometimes when I'm in danger I get a tingle on my di...

Wiz: Fuck Sake Boomstick! That is just too much information for me and I am a fucking scientist! Anyway, Come back next week when we talk about Spider-Man's opponent The Scout!

Scout
(Faster Than A Speeding Bullet)

Wiz: The year was 1850 and the wealthy landowner Zephaniah Mann passed away and he handed over his land in New Mexico to his two sons Redmond Mann and Blutarch Mann.

Boomstick: As brothers do, The two men argued over who owned the land and they decided to do the most reasonable option...To hire nine mercenaries and had them battle over and over again, These guys have the right idea!

Wiz: Don't listen to Boomstick these two are madmen, Anyway, This started the war called: The Gravel Wars! Each Mercenary had their own expertise, The Sniper shot down his foes from quite a bit away, The Engineer built machines used to shoot down any fool who tried to challenge him!

'''Boomstick: The Heavy fucked up people with the biggest gun I have ever seen! Damn, I love this guy's style. And Pyro...'''

(Pyro burns Sniper's face off)

Boomstick: Yeah...that...

Wiz: But even with all of these foes, One of the most fearful classes in the team is just a lanky man who runs around the place swinging a Baseball bat: His name, The Scout!

'Boomstick: Born in Boston Massachusetts, Jeremy'' was the youngest and runt of his eight siblings. Sadly, for him, Jeremy didn't ever make it to the fight as he was way...too slow!'''

Wiz: Yes his name is Jeremy! And so he decided to run and run and run! Everywhere he went, He ran! And soon not only was quick enough to get into the fights he was actually able to be the first man on the scene: And he decided to use these abilities to become a Mercenary.

(Intruder Alert)

Boomstick: And Scout is really damn good at his job thanks to his many abilities that any normal person and even some classes (cough Medic) would die for.

Wiz: Bit of sly talking about Medic but hey let's just keep on going. Scout can not only jump higher and more frequently than every class in the game but he can even do one more, Which easily could allow him to outmanoeuvre any opponent in the game!

'''Boomstick: Trust us! If you put some slow ass Heavy in a fight against a mad jumping Scunt in a room, The jumping Scunt is gonna win most of the time!'''

Wiz: Most of the time!

Boomstick: Scout is really god damn fast like he has dodged shots from a Sentry Gun and it has been said that Scout can run at 22 Miles Per Hour!

Wiz: The fastest man in the world was Usain Bolt who at the World Championships in Berlin on 16 August 2009 ran 100 meters in just a matter of in a record-setting time of 9.58 seconds. Which has been said that it would make him 28 Miles Per Hour, just a little faster than Scout. Putting him at just below peak human speeds.

Boomstick: Damn if I was that fast I could maybe even escape from my Ex-Wife!

Wiz: Boomstick. I saw your wife chasing an Ice Cream Truck! No man in the world can outrun that not even Scout and Usain Bolt.

'''Boomstick: Yeah your right! But a man can dream.'''

Wiz: Anyway, Tune in next week or this time week (Our Writer is a bit obsessive) When we go over the full episode and where Scout will face his opponent Spider-Man!