Zim vs Crypto

Who will win? Zim Crypto Draw Better? Invader Zim Destroy All Humans Same

Description
''Invader Zim vs Destroy All Humans! When you are tasked to be on Earth got galactic domination, you should be good, or just live there, that could also happen.''

Interlude
Gogeta: Aliens, do they exist, are they a thing, will we ever know. Well not in our lifetimes at least we won't.

'''Nina: BUT WAIT! What if they are living with us right now, ITS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU!'''

Gogeta: Like Zim, the Irken that lives on Earth.



Nina: And Cryptosporidium 139, the furon.



Gogeta: I'm Gogeta and she is Nina and it is out jobs to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills too see who would win in

Nina: A DEATH BATTLE!!!

Zim
Gogeta: The conquerer for humanity, when you think about an alien to do that you think of doomsday. A race so powerful that we would tremble in fear and fall to our knees if we were to even try to fight them thanks to their far more advanced technology with weapons such as lasers and proton missiles. But what if I told you the conquerer of humanity is much closer than we have credit to, you would most likely laugh then I would point you at the race of the Irkens, a usually very intelligent and powerful race.

'''Nina: Yep, the Irkens are a powerful race indeed, with tech so powerful they can take care of a planet almost easily with their advanced weaponry. Unfortunately all great races have their defects, and the Irkens are no different enter Zim, an adorable little guy who right when he gained a collective conscience fell in love with a lifeless and unfeeling robotic arm, but he grew up on his home planet and even went on missions to help his race grow.'''

Gogeta: Yeah remember when we said he was a defect, yeah he was hated by the higher ups named the Allmighty Tallest. Don't worry they hated him for good reason seeing as though he fails all the missions for the Tallests. But don't worry, he put the fires out, or at least made them better so they decided a person of his calibur of skill needs one thing, a mission so daring and stupid that only Zim would be able to do it even on how dangerous that it could be for this Irken.

'''Nina: That or maybe to get away from him because secretly the Allmighty Tallest sent him away to be as far away from him as possible. Ok now that isn't nice, he was in a spacecraft for 6 months, going lightyears away from his home planet, are you sure this guy isn't the bad guy. Ok he didn't know they did that and landed on Earth and moved in a pretty urban city and used his spacecraft to use as his home to live and plot all of the schemes he does.'''

Gogeta: My question is why no one seems to question that there is a new building right next to them that looks like it belongs in some sort of amusement park, people are really dumb in cartoons, which is why the Tallest sent him to Earth, since everyone seems to have the intelligence equivalent to that of a Tapir, I guess it all works out however since Zim can like said before, make all his schemes there with no CIA member going to it and barging the door, making him into a test subject.

'''Nina: I mean it helps Zim in the longrun, with all this free time other than going to school, Zim creates all sorts of weapons all the time with varying degrees of success. However his first goto piece of equipment is his own PAK, an Irken's bread and butter when it comes to fighting, eating, or pretty much doing anything at any time, this is the thing that Zim goes to most when he is in a giant pickle when facing the mightiest of foes, like Dib Membrane.'''

Gogeta: This PAK can form his trademark spiderlegs, which are just the best thing... like ever. These help Zim move around much better than with his dinky little legs, he can move around at superhuman speeds and even climb walls with these, so if he is ever in a 1 on 1 scenario he can easily use these legs to move stealthily throughout the battlefield with ease.

'''Nina: Also with these he can use the arms to smack his enemies around or just literally impale them with the end of the legs, or just y'know saw you to death with the rotating toes that thing has. Jesus this thing has so many little gizmos and gadgets on the legs alone you would think that the legs are his best gadgets and simple of course. They are only the icing on this PAK.'''

Gogeta: Not only can these legs do all of the stuff we mentioned before, but it also has built in laser cutters, that can even cut straight through metal, imagine what that can do to someone's skull? Also it can be used as a shield to protect him from attacks that he cannot see coming in time. But like said before, the Spider Legs are only one thing that this PAK can do.

'''Nina: It has a portable jetpack that lets Zim fly through the air, just incase there are missions that require to get that high, but does not need his spaceship. This jetpack is extremely fast, he can easily move across a planet sized space station in seconds, this feat easily clocks in at Massively Hypersonic speeds, so good luck even catching Zim with this jetpack.'''

Gogeta: In this PAK there also lies a nifty little backpacks he can store his personal belongings in. There are also some nightvision goggles incase that Zim were ever in that sort of situation, however maybe his most prominent weapon is the ray guns that can extend out of the PAK, which are use to guess what? Blast his opponents down if they were ever to try to kill him, which is hard already seeing how fast his jetpack truly is.

'''Nina: Also the PAK acts as a second brain for Zim, say if Zim's mind were to be shut off, the PAK will actively make it so he is back up. Unfortunately however, an Irken needs their own PAK to survive, without it an Irken only has 10 minutes to live, so if it were destroyed, yeah sorry unless he can engineer a new PAK for himself, Zim is dead. At least the PAK knows this and will actively protect itself so it does not get harmed in any sort of way.'''

Gogeta: But there is more in Zim's arsenal than just his PAK, like his own personal SIR unit, a little robot helper that is made to support and help their Irken master. Zim recieved Gir, and like himself, it is a defect of a SIR unit, seeing how it is literally useless in all sense of the word. He is insane, impulsive, and probably mentally challenged, and is one of the main causes on why Zim's plans always seem to fail.

'''Nina: Ok he is not all useless, he does have his uses, like blowing shit up! Due to how impulsive and reckless it is, he will not hesistate to use his full arsenal if given the chance. This arsenal includes entire missile launchers, miniguns, regular guns, laser beams. Also he is capable of flight that even exceeds the speed of light so yeah, useless my ass!'''

Gogeta: He also has a pair of pants! No seriously, it is a pilotable pair of pants that Zim can call at any point and uses to stomp the shit out of his opponents. I guess a pair of pants would work as a wepon if it is a mech like this, but come on, we all love the fact that it also has laser blasters on the legs, 2 each respectively. Only if this pair had a dick laser, then this weapon would be pure perfection.

'''Nina: We are forgetting about the Megadoomer X-3 Combat Stealth Mech... we'll just call it the Megadoomer. This giant mech is chock full of missiles and laser blasters. But maybe it's best ability is the cloaking device, however Zim himself is not cloaked in the mech. It also has a super finisher beam that takes all the energy out of the city he is in, however never fired it. Only if this thing had a sustainable method of powering itself, because this thing literally needs to be plugged in an outlet to work.'''

Gogeta: Zim may be a genius with many great gadgets and gizmos, but one thing he does not have is any common sense, I mean the guy is one of the main reasons why he fails all the time. He really does suffer like Brain, from Pinky and the brain, two smarties that want to take over the world but are so damn incompetant on what they are doing they easily get distracted and just fail.

Nina: Don't forget that this guy is also very arrogant, and that really doesn't help when he never thinks his plans throughly and just fails cuz he is too ignorant to his own fucking incompotence, seriously, this guy needs to go to a school that doesn't have a snake teacher.

Gogeta: I guess it doesn't matter when you are durable enough to be submerged in the sun... TWICE!! Also he is durable enough to tank an explosion that leveled out an entire city... albeit he barely survived and was on the outskirts of the blast. Whatever he is an alien dedicated for world conquest, and even if he sucks, he is still gonna try, for better or for worse.

Crypto
Gogeta: It was the year 1959, aliens were nothing but a fragment of most people's imaginations, that was until a mysterious UFO that was being piloted by a mysterious alien crashed down. The alien is what we like to call Cryptosporidium 136, and not much is known about this alien, other than the fact that he is an exact clone of the Cryptosporidium lineup, however he was found out by the American Government and was captured to interrogate in case there were more of these pests.

'''Nina: He ventured to find out where this alien is, with the help of his advisor Orthopox, Pox for short. Through their teamwork they managed to face against the the army of the world, and even trick the planet that Cryptosporidium was the president of the United States, don't worry he at least promised that he would build a great wall around the planet to keep the alien invaders out.'''

Gogeta: Hell, he was so good at hiding the fact that he is an alien that he tricked the entitre planet for 10 years straight, however Russia decided not to be completely idiotic and decided to just bomb the mothership, killing Orthopox in the process, thank goodness however he made a holopox unit for just this occasion, it is pretty much a device made by himself so he in the case of his death he will still live on as a hologram.

'''Nina: So Pox and Crypto ventured out once AGAIN to take down Soviet Russia and other horrors they happen to find in this adventure. Hell he even managed to get a hot KGB girlfriend in the process when they discovered Crypto was one of the few Furon remaining that actually had genitalia, don't ask us all we do is the research on characters, we actually don't make the stories that we analyze.'''

Gogeta: However this Crypto crashed his saucer into a fucking casino during a drunk accident and he died right there. So enter Cryptosporidium 139, btw Crypto from the first game died, we don't know how he fucking died he just did, well this time he needs to venture out and stop the one person who is trying to ruin his damn life, and finally! We can go over this aliens amazing arsenal cuz oh my god, is it glorious.

Nina: