The Justice League vs The Avengers

Description
''Marvel vs DC This is the Death Battle everyone has thought about since the dawn of super-teams. The Justice League who bring justice to the world when there is none. The Avengers who avenge the world when it can no longer defend itself. Who will be the last team standing''.

Intro
'''B. Holy Shit! we are actually doing this!'''

W. Yes we are we are doing the biggest Marvel vs DC match up in history but anyway let's begin shall we my old friend Boomstick!

B. Yeah let's fucking do this!

W. Good, Anyway in the world of super-heroes their battles against a villian usually ends with them beating the evil man / woman all by themselves but sometimes Heroes need help.

B. And these two are the first teams you think of when you think Superhero team.

W. The Avengers, The Earth's Mightiest Heroes!



B. And the Mother Fuckin' Justice League, The DC Universes greatest heroes!



W. People have been waiting to see who will win this match so let's not let them wait any longer than they need to since this has been debated since the 90's

B. That's where we come in, He's Wiz and i'm Boomstick!

W. And it's our job to analyze their weapon, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

Captain America:
W. During the years of 1939 to 1945 the Axis Powers fought in a war against the Allies in an attempt to spread their racist and incredibly idiotic belief that their race was the best.

'''B. It was a pretty small event you may have not heard of it, it was called WORLD WAR FUCKING 2! '''

W. But the American Army had their greatest weapon a 6 foot 2 symbol of American pride and Anti Nazism that goes by the subtile name...captain america

'''B. U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! '''

W. Okay...anyway, Captain America wasn't always the star spangeling Avenger, before getting into the war his original name was Steve Rogers.

B. Steve was born to an Irishman named Joseph Rogers and his wife Sarah Rogers, Soon afterward The two emmigrated to America were they settled down and gave birth to Steve.

W. But sadly this happiness didn't last too long since Joseph lost his job and could not find any work. He turned to drinking, becoming an alcoholic, and began abusing both Steve and Sarah.

B. Hey that sounds like Grand Papi Boomstick!

W. Jesus...em..., When 1939 came along Steve was one of the only young boys who actually wanted to fight in the war but sadly he couldn't due to many physical conditions along with him looking like a Starving man!

B. After a while his determination paid off since he got the opportunity to test out an untested super soldier syrum which would turn him into a well...a super soldier.

W. Suprisingly this worked and turned Steve into the icon of America Captain America.

B. Steve really was doing well in the war hell the German army needed to make the Hydra Army just to stand a chance, and he even got himself a nice piece of ass!

W. This all went wrong when him and his sidekick Bucky were trying to stop a bomb-loaded drone-plane, launched by Baron Zemo, when the plane exploded, it appeared that Bucky died but was certain was that it threw Steve into the icy Arctic waters of the English Channel this froze him for decades and somehow didn't die.

B. Decades Later Namor found Steve's frozen body and basically hurled it into the surface in anger, the Avengers found him and basically said "Your the Leader of the Avengers"

W. Well not exactly since he did try and fight back but eventually he became friends with the Avengers and even became their leader.

B. Close enough!

W. Due to the Super Soldier Syrum givin to him years before Cap is quite strong, he can shatter walls with his punches, held up a collapsing skyscraper TWICE!, and he once turned a man's head 180 degrees with one punch which would take over 4000 newtons of force!

'''B. He's also pretty fast since he can casually dodge bullets thanks in his own words seeing faster! Anyway he can even tagged Quicksilver who can run at the speed of light!'''

W. He's also pretty tough too since he can tank some brutal things such as a plane crash, a severe beating by Iron-Man who hit Crimson Dynamo at the same amount of force of a solid steel ball which is insane since Steve took a beating by Tony.

B. He also took one of Gambit's explosions which is pretty strong, He's also not just a pretty face since he has a genius level intellect since he knew he was getting ambushed after noticing small details that no other human would notice.

W. Steve's greates atrobute though is his Bravery and Leadership, he never gives up even when things are pretty bad which means he is great at getting his team ready for a fight and leading them into battle!

B. As we mentioned before Steve can "see faster" and he has a healing factor, which is pretty great since he regenerated from a bullet to the head.

W. Oh and he can't get drunk!

'''B. Wait What! that poor man how does he get past Christmas?'''

W. Most people in these teams can't get drunk anyway, his uniform is pretty tough since it's made out of kevlar which makes it bullet proof but his greatest weapon his famous shield, it's made out of Proto Adamantium and Vibranium which makes it near indestructable, it's so strong that it tanked hits from Odin force Thor without a scratch!

'''B. Oh and even better it can cut off Hulk's head! nuff said...'''

W. But sadly Steve isn't perfect his shield isn't indestructable since it can get destroyed by powerful gods and when it does he's pretty much screwed!

B. And he can die by bullets even with his uniform if you shoot him in the chin or the eye.

W. But still even with all these flaws Captain America is still an instiration to his team and a great leader, and if you mess with him you better start running.

Captain America: ''We must all live in the real world... and sometimes that world can be pretty grim. But it is the [American] Dream... the hope... that makes the reality worth living. In the early 1940's, I made a personal pledge to uphold the Dream... And as long as the Dream remains even partially unfulfilled, I cannot abandon it!''

Thor:
W. Thor Odinson is the son of the all father Odin and the godess Jord, he was born to be the strongest Asgardian in history and to end the Ragnarok Cycle.

B. This guy was born in a Fucking Cave which is awesome and later brought to Asgard to be raised, oh and Odin decided fuck this bitch Jord and married Frigga who pretended to be his mom.

W. It was only decades later did he realize that Frigga wasn't his ma, Anyway, Young Thor was raised along with his adopted brother Loki who Odin found in a battle with the Ice Giants.

B. And like my little brother Loki was jealous of Thor their whole childhood because he knew Thor was loved more, and then the jealousy turned into hatred that then turned into a want to fucking murder his brother, This began the rivalry between the two brother.

W. This lasted for century's as Thor began to get higher up in the list of best warriors in Asgard, until finally he was the greatest warrior in Asgards army slaying many soldiers that appose their land, but sadly Thor Odinson began to become cocky and arrogant.

'''B. And so Odin then said "Fuck off you little brat!" took away his powers and launched him to earth to learn humility.'''

W. Thor was turned into a normal human man named Donald Blake with his memories stripped and his powers removed along with the use of his leg, As Blake, Thor learned the value of humble perseverance in dealing with his injured leg, and he came to care for the sick and dying, first as a medical student, and later as a successful physician.

B. After ten years Odin basically put the thought of going to Norway into Donnie's head, when he arrived he saw a bunch of Aliens which made him run away like a bitch into the same cave Thor was born in, what brilliant writing.

W. That's Stan Lee Alright anyway, Donald was then trapped in the cave and when he smacked a boulder frustration he turned back into his Godly Thor form.

B. As Thor escaped the cavern and drove off the Kronans, And soon after he helped found the Avengers when he beat the shit out of his brother as usual.

W. Thor as a god is very powerful since he, Lifted the Midgard Serpant which is as big as the Earth, One Shotted Abomination, Formed a black hole with his fists by accident and he even pushed the nine realms which is nine universes.

B. He's also pretty fast too since he can swing his hammer at the speed of light, can fly through galaxies with ease, he even flew to the other side of the universe in seconds hell his hammer can do the same.

W. Thor is very durable since he has an extreme resistance to flames even flames from the core of the sun and hell itself.

B. But even then he can survive hits from Sentry, Thanos and an Anti-Matter fused Electro, he fought for forty days and nights and Thor can continue fighting after getting his flesh and muscle torn apart.

W. Abilities wise Thor isn't lacking, he can manipulate the weather with his trusty Hammer, He has Super Human Senses, Like Cap he has a healing factor which is so good it can heal broken bones, has a life span longer than any human and it seems Thor copied Super-Man since he can use utilize his breath to create winds and gusts.

B. He can fly, Control over the Earth thanks to his mom, Matter Manipulation, Life Force Manipulation thanks to his hammer, Memory Alteration and Dimensional Travel.

W. Thor's hammer itself can change weather, create force field, energy projection, Energy Absorption and redirection, Summoning of the dead and the Anti God Blast which can kill immortal beings.

B. Thor's power increases when he wears the belt of power which doubles Thor's Strength and Stamina but when Thor gets really angry he aquires the Warriors Madness which actually inhances all of his stats but sadly it removes his strategic ability.

W. Thor isn't perfect he can be arrogant at times, While he is nigh Invunreable he can still be killed by enough force and like Boomstick said it costs him his sense of strategy.

B. But still even with all his flaws I still wouldn't fuck around with the God of Thunder!

Thor faces a rock monster, which roars at him.)

Thor: I accept your surrender.

(the other bad guys laugh, Thor spins his hammer and smashes the monster to bits.)

Hulk:
W. Robert Bruce Banner is the son of Dr. Brian Banner and his wife Rebecca, although Rebecca deeply loved Bruce, who returned her affection, Brian hated their child.

B. Like most men Brian never wanted kids but he was different because he was an alcoholic asshole who beat his wife and son because he was jealous that Rebecca loved Brian so much.

W. Further, Brian believed that his radiation work had altered his DNA and given him a mutant son which in the Marvel Universe is a really bad thing, anyway, Bruce's life reached a turning point when Brian murdered Rebecca, and was placed in a mental hospital afterwards. After that, Bruce was raised by his aunt and father's sister, Susan Banner, who understood his great pain and rage over his childhood sufferings.

B. Susan this time wasn't an alcoholic bitch and raised Bruce with love and care.

W. This went well for Bruce since he was extremely gifted intellectually hell he was a child prodigy, This intelligence granted him the job at United States Defense Department.

'''B. At this job he met General Ross and his very attractive daughter Betty, and the two eventually fell in love with each other. Banner designed and oversaw construction of the Gamma Bomb, wow what a creative name...'''

W. Well yeah these guys clearly aren't intelligent, back on topic, Banner was present in the instrumentation bunker at the test site for the first underground test detonation of the Gamma Bomb.

B. Suddenly Bruce saw a teenager who somehow got into this testing ground, wow, they really are dumbassess.

W. I told you, eh hem, Banner told his colleague Igor Starsky to halt the explosion but since Igor was secretely a russian spy and done nothing very confident that Bruce would die in the blast.

B. Bruce did definitely saved the teen but before he could get himself to safety the Gamma Bomb went off and incinerated him the end.

W. Well no...Bruce somehow survived and was irradiated with highly charged radioactive particles. Due to an unknown genetic factor in his body, Banner was not killed by the radiation, which instead caused him to frequently transform into the vastly powerful, green-skinned, humanoid monster whom General Ross named "the Hulk.

(Hulk roars and destroys a tank.)

B. This guy is really really strong, like really strong, he has quite a lot of strength feats so let's get this party started.

W. Hulk has easily broken through doors that could survive Nuclear Bombs, which means he can punch harder than 50 Megatons of force, while calm can pull thousands of tons with ease, Held down Warrior's Madness-enhanced Thor with one hand, Tossed Fin Fang Foom to the moon with ease and his strongest feat was when he pulled two tectonic plates together, which weighs a small amount of 45 Quintillion tons!!!

B. While Hulk isn't as fast as he is strong but he is still pretty fast, He can run over 100 Mph and can swim at 90 Mph, Caught artillery fire and threw it back, Tagged Quicksilver who is lightspeed and has easily caught Spider-Man.

W. Hulk is really tough as well, since when he was hit by an attack by Thanos he didn't get any visible injuries, His skin can repel blunt damage, bullets, energy blasts, and explosions, Tanked blasts from Galactus, Got blasted all the way to Thailand by Phoenix Force Cyclops and showed no signs of injury, Tanked planet-busting attacks with ease and Got hugged by someone who's as hot as a star without harm.

B. As for powers he stole from Superman like Thor because he can blow out winds, A healing factor that is strong that he can heal his muscles and skin.

W. And of course Hulk's greatest move is his Thunder Clap which launch shockwaves stronger than hurricanes, But Hulk strongest form is his World Breaker Form which he only enters when he gets really really angry, Hulk gets so strong that he can take on Sentry who has the power of a million exploding suns.

B. But sadly Bruce isn't perfect, Calming him down will lower his strength, and possibly return him to the form of Bruce Banner, Not very intelligent and Weapons made of Adamantium can pierce his skin

W. Despite his flaws if I heard the words Hulk Smash I wouldn't run I already know i'm dead.

Hulk:'' HULK IS NOT AFRAID... HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!!!'

Polls
Which team do you prefer? Avengers Justice League Which team would win? Avengers Justice League