Sukapon vs. R.O.B.

Sukapon vs. R.O.B. is a What-If? episode of Death Battle, featuring Sukapon from Joy Mech Fight, and R.O.B.

Description
Another retro robo-showdown occurs as R.O.B the robot fights Sukapon from Joy Mech Fight, Nintendo's first fighting game!

Interlude
(Cue: Jim Johnston - Invader)

Wiz: Robots. Built with specific instructions in mind, they are incredible at the tasks they are given. For these robots, said instruction is fighting.

Wiz: Sukapon, the floating-limb fighter.

'''Boomstick: And R.O.B., the robotic operating buddy. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!'''

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win in a Death Battle.

Sukapon
(Cue: Sukapon's Theme)

Wiz: Once, a presumably distant future ago, there were two scientists. Dr. Little Emon and Dr. Ivan Walnuts. Together they worked to create the most spectacular robots the world had ever seen.

'''Boomstick: Yeah... spectacular. What the hell even is this thing?'''

Wiz: Though one day, Dr. Walnuts disappeared with the seven military robots he and Dr. Emon worked together to create.

'''Boomstick: ...So is Sukapon a military robot badass or something like that?? I don't see something like that thing throwing their punches anytime soon.'''

Wiz: Dr. Walnuts later announced his plan to conquer the world. Sukapon, an owarai robot who had been training in the Kansai region, was called back to the lab by Dr. Emon. With no other choice, Emon remodeled Sukapon into a military robot to stop Dr. Walnuts' scheme.

'''Boomstick: Aw hell yeah, now we're getting to the good stuff. But what's owarai?'''

Wiz: Stand-up comedy, essentially.

Boomstick: ...Imagine getting the shit kicked out of you by the robot equivalent of Jerry Seinfeld.

(Cue: Menu Theme)

Wiz: Sukapon was ordered to defeat the seven other robots, and allow Dr. Emon to reprogram them back to their old selves. Sukapon, now with the seven other robots by his side, took on the rest of Dr. Walnuts' robots, each stronger than the last.

'''Boomstick: After their battles with their own doppelgangers, they finally faced off with Dr. Walnuts' last robot, Houou. Also, they fought on the surface of the moon. Fooor some reason.'''

Wiz: After Houou was defeated, Dr. Walnuts attempted to escape in his malfunctioning ship. Fortunately, Dr. Emon was able to rescue Dr. Walnuts from the fate of being stuck on the surface of the moon, convincing him that the events that occured were just a dream.

'''Boomstick: Yeah, I don't think others would play along with that so easily. Shouldn't he be, y'know, sent to prison?'''

Wiz: You'd think. Sukapon is the most basic robot out of all of the fighters in Joy Mecha Fight, showcased in his fighting style. Sukapon's fighting style is basic yet effective. Though he has moves of his own such as the Tondeker, where he throws a copy of his head at you and the Konaniran, where he throws his actual head at you.

'''Boomstick: Sukapon's moveset is mostly comprised of basic kicks and throws, such as the Skapon toss, where he throws his opponent over the shoulder he doesn't have and onto the floor. But he also has his arguably most iconic move, the Skapon Roll where he cartwheels at his opponent.'''

Wiz: Sukapon's Skapon Roll can be preformed as a powerful glowing jump attack when input correctly. With all this in mind, Sukapon is a super fighting robot.

Boomstick: Hey, that sounds a bit familia-

Cut to Sukapon winning a battle in Joy Mech Fight.

R.O.B.
(Cue: Stack-Up: Bingo)

Wiz: The year is 1983. The video game industry is in ruins. If Nintendo was going to make a video game console at a time like this, they'd need a way to convince retailers and consumers that the Nintendo Entertainment System isn't a console, but a toy.

Boomstick: That's where good ol' R.O.B. comes in.

Wiz: HVC-012, also known as R.O.B., was a quaint little robot. What seemed to be an innocent accessory for the Nintendo Entertainment System, R.O.B. held the key to something much more.

'''Boomstick: Of course this was the '80s, so robots were all over the place. Just look at how popular Transformers was! R.O.B. fit right in and became a smash hit.'''

Wiz: Nnnot exactly.

'''Boomstick: Wait, what?! But he's a really cool rooobot!'''

Wiz: R.O.B. didn't exactly sell very well. After all, he only had two games that worked with the accessory. Despite not selling very well on his own, R.O.B. was Nintendo's trojan horse that propelled the NES into stardom, reviving the video game industry once again.

Boomstick: What happened after that?

Wiz: Nothing, really. Outside of a few cameos and appearances in both a Mario Kart game and Smash Bros., R.O.B. has since fallen into obscurity for the most part.

Boomstick: I guess only working with two games will only get you so far.

(Cue: Game B)

Wiz: Right, we should get to talking about those. In actuality, R.O.B. was-

'''Boomstick: R.O.B. was created by some old fart named Professor Hector who made R.O.B. so he wouldn't accidentally get his ass killed by giant pipes or whatever. The end.'''

Wiz: Overly simplified, but yes, that is true. R.O.B. has helped him on many occasions.

'''Boomstick: Like when he fucked up big time and littered his lab with dynamite and weird lizard things named Smicks. R.O.B. operated red and blue gates to help ol' Hector.'''

Wiz: R.O.B. also operated these gates to keep Hector safe while he was... sleepwalking.

Boomstick: Hector built R.O.B. prepared for much more though, equipping him with the robo beam, the arm rotor, the robo burner and the gyros.

Wiz: The robo beam is your standard laser beam that can increase in strength if powered up for long enough, indicated by the light on R.O.B.'s head. The arm rotor is a multi-hitting attack where R.O.B. spins his arms around. Really fast.

'''Boomstick: Robo burner makes R.O.B. flyyy. The gyros are spinning tops that can make opponents... uh, trip I guess?'''

Wiz: These attacks may not seem like much, but it all depends on how R.O.B. uses them.

R.O.B. preforms one of his taunts from the Smash Bros. series.

Intermission
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. It's time to settle this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

Fight!
Sukapon would walk along a bridge in the city, eventually noticing R.O.B.

Sukapon: (Another military robot? I'll check it out.)

Sukapon steps towards R.O.B., using Tondeker. R.O.B. cancels it out with a gyro.

FIGHT!

(Cue: First Battle)

The two jump back, before running back to each other. Sukapon kicks R.O.B. in the face!

R.O.B. then grabs Sukapon's foot, incredibly confused. He struggles to get his foot away from R.O.B.'s grasp.

Sukapon uses Konaniran, knocking R.O.B. back.

R.O.B. spins up a gyro, throwing it onto the floor. Sukapon reluctantly steps on it.

WHRRRRRSH!

The gyro goes nuts, spinning around everywhere with Sukapon struggling to keep balance! Sukapon eventually manages to get a few hits in on R.O.B. on the gyro.

R.O.B. uses robo burner, flying up into the air. Sukapon latches on. Sukapon tries to get a few hits in, but to no avail.

R.O.B. and Sukapon fly over a few buildings, with Sukapon's legs dangling off of R.O.B.'s base. R.O.B. budges Sukapon off as Sukapon falls.

R.O.B. catches Sukapon, planning on dragging his face across the roof.

''Sukapon: Hey, you caught me! Oh wait-''

R.O.B. did just that. Sukapon eventually gets free and dropkicks R.O.B. away!

R.O.B. skids back, almost falling. The two run at each other again, with R.O.B. suddenly stopping to shoot the robo beam.

Sukapon rolls out of the way! Sukapon grabs R.O.B. using the Skapon Toss!

SLAMMM!

R.O.B. flips himself back up as Sukapon runs towards him!

Sukapon jumps at R.O.B. He uses the arm rotor, as Sukapon gets caught in it!

Sukapon and his floating limbs get scrambled from the attack, being flung away!

R.O.B. shoots multiple gyros in between the spaces of Sukapon and his limbs!

Despite R.O.B.'s efforts, Sukapon is able to form back to normal with ease. The gyros fly up into the air as Sukapon hits them towards R.O.B.

R.O.B. is barraged by his own gyros as Sukapon cartwheels into R.O.B. with the Skapon Roll!

R.O.B. has had enough. He's preparing... the diffusion beam!

Sukapon is at first confused.

R.O.B.'s eyes start glowing heavily. Sukapon jumps in the air...

R.O.B. unleashes the diffusion beam as Sukapon preforms a glowing special version of the Skapon Roll!

FLASH!

Nothing but the silhouettes of Sukapon and R.O.B. appear on a blank white background. R.O.B. are still in their Skapon Roll and diffusion beam poses.

Both Sukapon and R.O.B. trickle with electricity.

The white background disappears as Sukapon is flung forwards, defeated.

R.O.B. slowly falls to the ground, his eyes glitching out. Defeated as well.

K.O.!

A small flying saucer with a claw picks up Sukapon, flying away.

A transmission speaks out from R.O.B.

'Professor Hector: R.O.B.! Can you hear me?'

Conclusion
(Cue: BGM 02)

'''Boomstick: Damn! Even though Sukapon didn't win that little fucker sure knows how to fight!'''

Wiz: Although Sukapon had more experience and was more agile than R.O.B., it wasn't enough to win. He did have ways to get around R.O.B.'s gyros and robo beams though, allowing to get his hits in.

'''Boomstick: Both Sukapon and R.O.B. have never fought an opponent quite like each other before. R.O.B. had limbs, which was strange to Sukapon. Sukapon didn't have limbs, which was strange to R.O.B.'''

Wiz: Both of what Sukapon and R.O.B. had over each other were able to cancel out.

'''Boomstick: To be fair, R.O.B. did hold the advantage here. But with Sukapon's fighting capability and flexible body, he could easily jump around R.O.B.'s attacks and wail on him.'''

Wiz: Yet R.O.B.'s durability and strength let him hold out.

Boomstick: Looks like this battle was r.o.b.bed of a victory.

Wiz: This battle is a draw.