You Suck At Cooking



"You Suck at Cooking, Yeah You Totally Suck."

- YSAC's Opening Jingle

You Suck At Cooking (also known as Mel and YSAC) is a youtuber who does mainly cooking videos on his channel.

Fanon Wiki Ideas So Far

 * HowToBasic vs You Suck At Cooking (Completed)

Spoiler-Free=

WARNING: ''The following tab will reveal the numbers of wins and losses for the following character. Read at your own risk.''

Battle Record
 * -|Spoiler=
 * Wins: 1
 * Losses: 0
 * Draws: 0

Possible Opponents

 * The Angry Video Game Nerd
 * Filthy Frank

Background

 * Real Name: Mel
 * Age: Unknown
 * Subcribers: 1.1 Million
 * A Master Chef
 * Patented multiple tools like the Shuckatron 6 and Cobless Corn

Weapons and Skills

 * Chopping Skills
 * Can Casually Chop Faster Than The Eye Can See.
 * Can 'Ripple Chop' to easily cut up veggies in one dice.
 * Can 'Auto-Chop' to effortlessly slice objects though this uses more stamina than Normal Chopping or Ripple Chopping.
 * Able to dice an onion 17 different ways.
 * Reality Warping
 * Turned normal milk into feta cheese by simply stirring it.
 * Smashed an onion so hard it turned into black beans and corn.
 * Opened a pepper that had an average tomato in it, opened that up to find a cherry tomato, opened that up to find a tiny can of tomatoes which, when opened, filled his bowl with canned tomatoes.
 * Somehow hacked into an onion using a computer.
 * Turned a watermelon into limes by rolling it against a wall, then proceeded to turn the limes into peas by throwing them against a wall.
 * Somehow fused a turkey sausage and corn by making a turkey mate with a cob of corn.
 * Kitchen Utensils
 * Various utensils including spoons, knives, forks, pans, pots, etc.
 * Karate Skills
 * Claims he's a yellow belt.
 * Karate Chopped an onion in half with ease.
 * Oven
 * Calls it an 'Onion'
 * Can roast things at 3500 degrees fahrenheit, enough to toast walnuts in one tenth of a second.
 * Armplement 5000
 * Keeps several utensils with it at all times.
 * Can be used to keep other weapons too.
 * Knife Belt 7452
 * Carries knives on his belt.
 * Claims it's completely safe to use it.
 * Chainsaw
 * Used to completely cut a butternut squash in half.
 * Tequila and Shot Glass
 * When drinking out of the shot glass, can teleport around.
 * Food Processotron 2.7
 * Basically two knives strapped to a coat hanger and a belt.
 * Can process food quicker than the average food processor.
 * Cutternut Squash
 * A butternut squash with a knife strapped to it.
 * Wooden Dagger and Wooden Gun
 * Carved them himself according to Mel.
 * Pentayam
 * Several strips of yam arranged into a pentagram shape.
 * Can ask Satan for protection, healing and possibly more.
 * Floret of Cauliflower and Jumper Cables
 * When stuck into a person's head, the cauliflower can mess with their mind and possibly destroy it by crushing the floret.
 * Knife Fingers
 * A claw made by Mel to cut up onions.
 * Can perform the Edward Scissorhands for fast, repeated strikes.
 * Can perform the Wolverine for a single, strong slice.

Feats

 * Achieved over 1.1 million subscribers.
 * Has done 73 (currently) recipes with ease.
 * Knows how to dice an onion 17 ways.
 * Casually moved a pan off a burner in one billionth of a second. This is faster than it takes light to move one meter.
 * On average, chops faster than the eye can see with ease.
 * Knows all of the 'Nacho Crimes' and can recite them off by heart.
 * Created the first 'Squash Case' for a banana.
 * Knows how to manipulate the genetics of the brain and corn.
 * Knows exactly where to place things in the salsa spectrum.

Weaknesses

 * Has average human durability, being harmed by hot foods and julienne peelers.
 * Cooking is the center of his life.
 * Abandoned a trip to Mars because his cookies were done baking.
 * He is mainly a pacifist but will draw the line if reached to a burning point.
 * Loves his 'Onion' more than life itself and will do anything to keep it.