Spike Spiegel vs. Mugen (Samurai Champloo)

Opening
Spider: Shinichiro Watanabe is among the finest directors in anime. Two of his series, Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo, attracted cult followings through their stylized action scenes, gorgeous soundtracks and fine balance of comedy, drama and action…

Pixie: Both topped off by casually badass and fearless martial-artists with shaggy hair-cuts and Steve Blum’s sexy, sexy voice. Spike Spiegel, the Space Cowboy.

Spider: And Mugen, the sword-swinging pirate. I’m Spider.

Pixie: And I’m Pixie!

Spider: And it’s our job to analyze their power, abilities and skills to determine who would win a Death Battle.

Spike Spiegel
Spider: In a future where humanity had spread to planetary colonies across the galaxy, Spike Spiegel, born on Mars, served as an assassin in the Red Dragon Syndicate, alongside his dangerously unstable war veteran friend, Vicious.

Pixie: Wait, who the fuck names their kid Vicious? Wait, better question. Why the FUCK did Spike steal the girlfriend of a guy named VICIOUS!?

Spider: Er… after Vicious discovered that Spike had won the heart of his girlfriend, Julia, he was enraged, and ordered Julia to kill Spike.

Pixie: She didn’t. Instead, Spike faked his death, left the planet, and took up bounty-hunting alongside his punnily-named partner, Jet Black.

Spider: Spike put the skills he developed as an assassin to good use. He practices a peculiar form of Jeet Kune Do (the speed-based striking art invented by Bruce Lee) in which his body becomes very relaxed and fluid, allowing him to easily counter his enemy’s attacks. As a result, his speed, skill and power in hand-to-hand are incredible. He fought on par with a man who was under the influence of Redeye—a drug that grants the user super-speed and reflexes great enough to casually dodge speeding bullets. He also managed to defeat four armed robbers in minutes, and took on and beat an entire team of casino security guards single-handed.

Pixie: Spike even stood up to (and eventually killed) Vicious in close-quarters combat. For the record, Vicious is a swordsman capable of slaughtering a roomful of people in seconds. Spike stood up to that by parrying Vicious’s sword-strikes with a gun. And while we’re on the subject of weapons--

Spider: Spike carries the Jericho 941, a semi-automatic pistol. His aim is enhanced by a cybernetic eye, making him a deadly marksman. He has also used remote-control bombs, as a well as a throwing knife.

Pixie: Also, he can apparently kick your ass with a broken push-broom.

[Clip from Cowboy Bebop: The Movie shows Spike jabbing a broom at Elektra.]

Spike: En garde!

Spider: Though Spike’s demeanor often seems lazy, careless or simply dim-witted, he is actually an exceptionally creative tactician who excels at surprising his enemies by taking daring, unimaginable risks.

Pixie: Plus, this dude can take even more punishment than he can dish out! He has survived multiple gun-shot wounds, being stabbed and thrown out the window of a building, being repeatedly kicked into the air like a hacky-sack by a gravity-defying super-murderer, having his chest crushed, being shot in the chest at point-blank range, and being thrown ''through ''the window of a speeding bullet-train and into the sea. Is this dude even human!?

Spider: Hard to believe though it may seem, yes. Spike is a human, with human flaws and limitations. His martial arts, while great, are not unmatched, as we saw when he was handed a beating by an inexplicably super-fast and skilled poultry farmer. While his durability is great enough to survive incredible injuries, he can still be disabled by gun-shots, falls and the like.

Pixie: He also kinda sucks at bounty-hunting, honestly. Practically every bounty he goes for ends up getting killed before he can get paid. Which would help to explain why he’s so skinny and hungry all the time. But despite all that, Spike is one badass cowboy.

[Clip from Cowboy Bebop]

Spike: Look at my eyes, Faye. One of them is a fake because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I've been seeing the past in one eye and the present in the other. So, I thought I could only see patches of reality, never the whole picture. I felt like I was watching a dream I could never wake up from. Before I knew it, the dream was over.

Mugen
Pixie: The Anachronistic Ninja-Pirate Break-Dancer enters the arena at last!

Spider: Mugen was born on the Ryuku Islands, and joined up with the villainous Mukuro and his gloomy little sister, Kohza.

Pixie: Together, they became pirates, raided passing trade ships and killed a whole shit-ton of people. Mugen ended up leaving the gang and wandering the world in search of bad-asses to test his sword against.

Spider: He eventually met up with Jin (from our previous battle) and Fuu, and served as Fuu’s body-guard during her quest.

Pixie: Which is a pretty nice thing for someone who is as big an asshole as he is to do.

Spider: While it isn’t clear where Mugen received his martial arts training, or if he was technically trained at all, he is a force to be reckoned with in melee combat. Mugen dual-wields a pair of swords, and utilizes break-dance style spin-kicks and flips. He also has a hidden dagger he keeps for emergencies, and wears a pair of steel-plated sandals that can block sword-strikes.

Pixie: I wonder if I could pick up a pair of those from Foot Locker…

Spider:  In contrast to his more conventionally trained opponents, Mugen depends on erratic, unpredictable moves that make him difficult to defend against. This actually works very well. Mugen has single-handedly stomped teams of armed samurai, police-officers and yakuza assassins.

Pixie: He’s also tough enough to survive being slashed, shot, blasted with Ki attacks and getting caught in explosions—twice. This guy just doesn’t quit.

Spider: While Mugen is certainly very fast and deadly in combat, he’s not very intelligent. He repeatedly charges into battle head-long, without any semblance of a plan, even when he has no idea what his opponents are actually capable of.

Pixie: He’s not a complete idiot. He’s actually trained in preparation for an opponent he knew was out of his league, but… that was only because someone had directly told him that the guy he was going to fight had explicitly supernatural powers. While we’re on that topic, Mugen actually figured out how to perform a Ki attack just by imitating the guy who had worked for countless years to be able to do that... and then he never, ever used a Ki attack again. Actually, I take back what I just said about not being a complete idiot.

Spider: Well, it’s possible that Mugen was only capable of using that technique while observing a model.

Pixie: Also, he’s a pretty lousy body-guard, seeing as how the girl he was supposed to be protecting got kidnapped like five times a week.

Spider: But with his incredible speed, agility and willpower, Mugen is not be underestimated.

[Clip from Samurai Champloo]

Mugen: I don’t give a rat’s ass about going to hell. I guess it’s because I feel like I’m already there.

Death Battle
Spider: Alright, our combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all.

Pixie: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!

*    *   *

A strange, bright red craft slowly descends over a small village in Edo-period Japan. As the villagers scatter in terror and awe, the ship, called the Swordfish, lands in the center of town. The hatch pops open, and Spike Spiegel climbs out.

The bounty hunter takes a look around and scratches his head. “Where the hell am I? This place looks… old. Did I pass through a time portal or something?”

Suddenly, a trio of samurai surround him, leering. “The shogun has decreed a strict ban on illegal immigrants,” the samurai in the center snarls, “and the penalty for defying his will is severe.”

Spike cocks an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? How severe?”

“This severe!”

The samurai charges and swings his sword at Spike’s head, but Spike ducks the blow and knocks him out with a quick combination of punches to the stomach, neck and head. As the other samurai follow in the attack, Spike easily evades them, then puts them down with two quick round-kicks.

Spike wipes his brow and smiles. “Jeez. People in this era aren’t very friendly, are they?”

Just then, Mugen approaches, grinning evilly. “Say… those are some pretty flashy moves you’ve got there. Nice voice, too. Sounds kinda familiar, actually.”

Spike eyes Mugen, cautiously. “Hey, you’re not thinking about pulling anything stupid like those last guys, are you?”

Mugen scowls. “Did you just call me stupid!? Okay, that tears it. You’re going down, you cocky son of a bitch!”

Spike sighs, stretches, and takes his fighting stance. “Well, if you insist.”

                FIGHT!

                Spike rushes forwards and hits Mugen in the gut with a one-two punch. Mugen gasps, but manages to duck Spike’s round-kick, then retaliate with a break-dance kick, clocking Spike straight in the face with his steel-plated sandal, forcing him to stagger back.

Mugen draws his swords and lashes out, but Spike dodges both blades, snaps two round kicks into Mugen’s ribs, then floors him with a spin-heel kick to the head. Mugen shakes off the blow and strikes back with a whirling double-kick, but Spike, now wise to the move, blocks both kicks, then ducks Mugen’s sword-strike. As Mugen goes for a follow-up stab, Spike draws his gun and parries the attack, then fires a round at Mugen’s gut. Mugen dodges, wide-eyed, then kicks Spike in the head and lands a grazing slice to the shoulder.

Spike grimaces, then grins. “You know, you kind of remind me of this really, really angry guy I use to be buddies with. He had a thing for swords, too.”

“Yeah? That’s funny, because you remind me of a real asshole I knew who had a thing for guns.”

Mugen ducks to the right as Spike fires another round, then rushes in with an under-handed slash. Spike side-steps and hits Mugen in the face with a quick back-hand, blocks another slash with his gun and knocks Mugen back with a front-kick.

Mugen, staggers, cracks his neck and spits blood. “That all ya got?”

Spike stares blankly at Mugen for a moment, then gives a fake, dopey smile. “…You know, I just remembered Jet asked me to pick up some bell-peppers from the market. SEE YA!”

Spike turns and dashes off between a pair of buildings, leaving the pirate dumbfounded. “Hey!” Mugen shouts. “Where the hell do you think you’re going!? I ain’t finished killing ya yet!”

He dashes off after the bounty-hunter, who is nowhere to be found. Mugen looks back and forth, then begins walking down an abandoned town street, muttering to himself. Suddenly, a remote-control bomb hidden in a vase near Mugen explodes, bathing his body in flames and smoke. Spike walks out from behind a shop, smiling, and slips the detonator back into his jacket.

                K.—

Suddenly, Mugen emerges from the flames, charred and enraged. A look of absolute horror passes over Spike’s face as the pirate attacks with a flurry of slashes. He dodges and side-steps, but Mugen keeps up the assault. Finally, Mugen slips in a blow, and stabs Spike through the stomach.

Spike hangs his head and closes his eyes, blood dripping from his lips… then smiles faintly, jams the barrel of his gun against Mugen’s forehead, and pulls the trigger.

--O!

Mugen falls over, dead, and Spike pulls the sword out of his stomach. As he stumbles back towards the Swordfish to recover, he looks back over his shoulder, points two fingers at Mugen’s corpse and smiles.

“Bang.”

Post-Battle Analysis
Pixie: See ya, Break-dancing Pirate.

Spider: Mugen and Spike were both incredibly skilled in melee combat. Spike had the edge in speed, but Mugen, with his swords, was better equipped. Spike and Mugen both exhibit incredible durability for human beings, and with his tenacity and unpredictable fighting style, Mugen could have landed a fatal blow if the fight had stuck to close-quarters.

Pixie: Problem is, Spike was too smart to let that happen. Spike’s Jericho and bombs gave him a reliable way to fight from a distance, which Mugen didn’t have, so when Spike realized how dangerous Mugen was up close, he changed tactics, pulled some quick deception and ran for it to gain some distance. Mugen was too dumb and blood-thirsty to see through this ruse, and Spike’s insane durability let him survive Mugen’s attack and finish him off. Spike had his eye on the prize.

Spider: The winner is Spike Spiegel.