User blog:Fllflourine/Luigi vs Bugs Bunny

Description
''Bugs Bunny is relaxing one day... until a young Green Plumber by the name of Weegee Luigi stumbles upon his abode, terrorizing the local citizens! Can Bugs Bunny eke out a victory?''

Interlude
Wiz: Ugh, why are we doing this?

'''Boomstick: Shut your yapper, Wizard! Or the Weegee King will get us! I'm just kidding, we must observe these guys in their NATURAL ENVIRONMENT! Two of the greatest Toonforcers to ever exist in fiction! I mean, one toonforcer against The One Who Stands Still!'''

Wiz: Ok, okay.

Wiz: Ugh... here goes.

Evil Craig: BUGS BUNNY, THE LOONEY TUNES FUCKING MASCOT.

Jocelyn the Intern: and "Weegee" Luigi, the one who stands still.

Boomstick: Here's my Death Battle Crew, and it's all of our jobs to--

Wiz: Analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a... Joke Death Battle. (~Bugs Was Here)

Bugs Bunny
'''Boomstick: SCREW THE BACKSTORY! Let's go to the main juic--'''

Wiz: Since the year 1939, the practically legendary character that is Bugs Bunny has starred in 175 films and numerous TV series, but the most famous show that he appeared in was none other than Looney Tunes. Voted the best animated character of all time for several decades, this carrot munching Bunny was first conceived of in 1937...

'''Boomstick: And then they just HAD to hunt down Porky! Oh my favorite Looney Tunes Character!'''

Wiz: Nevermind...

Bugs Bunny literally leaps out of the cartoon drawing that he was set on, and punches out his own cartoonist animator.

Boomstick: Now THAT is what I call BADASS.

Wiz: Bugs is one of the more unusual characters that we have ever researched. While he may resemble, look, and act like your typical gray and white carrot loving rabbit, he has performed far greater feats than one may have thought up from a mere bunny.

'''Boomstick: YEAH! He has one of the most powerful superpowers in all of fiction... TOON FORCE.'''

Bugs lays down a Beyond Dimensions 5^65060 Omni-Hyperversalnovaton block of compressed Collapsed Antimatter at a random Omniverse's house

'''Boomstick: Wow, that's all you need to see. Toon Force is formidable becuz...'''

Wiz: Cartoon Physics, aka Toonforce, is a frequently seen ability in fiction. It varies wildly by user, but Bugs is one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful Toonforcer in all of fiction. With it, he can simply reality warp to starkingly new heights, even becoming the writer of his own story in the process.

''Bugs Bunny: Eh... Whats up, Doc? (Bugs stares at the screen with a Multi Omniverse sized Drill)''

Boomstick: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

"Weegee" Luigi
Evil Craig: Look who's this! Luigi!

''Jocelyn the Intern: Catch, Craig! Or you'll get turned into a Weegee!''

Jocelyn immediately puts the glasses on her as Evil Craig catches it, wearing it just in the nick of time as Luigi performs a Death Stare at them.

Jocelyn: He almost got you there.

Evil Craig: Yeah, I (BLEEP)ing know! Anyhow, let's get to the POINT!

''Jocelyn: Luigi is one of several Star Children, alongside his brother Mario, both young plumbers in New York City... Until they went through some pipe shenanigans and finally they ended up where they are now, in the Mushroom Kingdom through a transuniversal pipe...''

Evil Craig: That doesn't even make any fucking sense! (flips over a table)

''Jocelyn: Luigi has become Nintendo's almighty God after he defeated King Boo and stole his power of nothingness right under him... literally. With it, Luigi is able to do absolutely nothing, which results in the opponent frantically trying to rush at him over and over, only to fail horribly and miserably, usually into an endless abyss''

Evil Craig: That sounds pretty cheap to me! A reason to HATE IT! So there you have it, Luigi's brief backstory, and his legendary doing nothingness!

Intermission
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all...

Evil Craig and Boomstick: TIME FOR A FUCKING DEATH BAAAAAAAAATTLE!!!!!!!!

Joke Death Battle!
(Cue Libera me From Hell)

It was one quiet morning, in one quiet village. Bugs Bunny had successfully, albeit with overkill, defeated his newest opponents Kami Tenchi and the One Above All, as the both of them were left in the background, dead, in smoldering craters that would dwarf any Omniverse.

Bugs of course, was still sitting on the village of omniverses as he continued to eat his carrot, as he literally pulled it from thin air, and began to chow down on it.

Bugs could see one figure in the distance however, one green plumber, standing proud and standing tall he was, clad in overalls and earthen green colors, just standing there like a bump on a log.

His name was...

Weegee Luigi.

The Bunny began to wave his... hand towards the guy in the distance who was like a bajillion yottalightyears away, only for nothingness to return to him.

"Eh, what's up doc?" Bugs had finished the last bit of his vegetable dessert, as he swallows it, very curious about what the other guy is doing.

He was still doing absolutely nothing.

"Hey there! I'm a nice person, unless of course, you piss me off." Bugs remarked on Luigi's ability to just stand there. However, Bugs had begun to feel a shred of rage flare within his heart, and it had begun to swell to heaven piercing levels... and a green flame soon BURSTS around the rabbit, in a cry of determination, of the Omniversal Spirals, he was prepared for BATTUL.

"I signed up for an exercise class at the Infinite Dimensional School of Omniverse Kicking Martial Arts, but I was told to not only wear loosely fit clothing, but tone down my scale as well. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with!" Bugs ranted as he continued to radiate a green aura of pure hyperenergy.

...

There was nothing, not a single move from Luigi.

"Sometimes, I'm afraid of the things my mind can come up with on the spot!" Bugs continued to speak in hopes of Weegee replying to his talking.

"I know this defies every law in Physics and beyond, but I never studied Law to begin with, I mean, just look at me, look at you." Bugs lectured him.

...

Nothing...

Bugs readied his fists and his entire arsenal of on hand, grilled and packed Floridas that were also dipped into the krustiest and krabbiest grease that he could find, as well as his trusty pen and pencil and eraser, but not only that, he readied his entire stockpile of magic satchels, numbering in the multi infinites.

This was going to be one hell of a fight, and one hell of a party.

FIGHT!
Bugs would walk over to the One Who Stands Still, with a couple of his Floridas on one palm, and a Paintbrush on the other.

"Easy there, I just need to make a good drawing out of this..." Bugs commented as he began to put stickers on the Floridas, pasting them onto Luigi, and then proceeded to paint Luigi in a Red tint.

"Ah, much better."

"Trouble with this design is that everybody is out to paint everybody else. I mean, why can't everybody just be an artist like me?"

Bugs dons a painter's beret, complete in red and black stripes.

"So your still arean't moving, arean't you?" Bugs continued to place his eyes on the apparent statue of Floridas and Red. He was still not even budging, not moving a single molecule as he stood flat on a layer of Omniverses.

"I can help you with that" Bugs pulls out a wrench that completely towered over the both of them as if they were the smallest of bacteria, and attempts to apply it to Luigi to fix him. As the tool connects with the plumber, it instantly broke, sending fragments everywhere that moved faster than the speed of fast, destroying whole realities in their wake and ruining the canvas that they fought on.

A Lightbulb of Comprehension and Total Understanding suddenly flashed on the Absolute Bunny's head, as he takes the frozen stature that was the brother of Mario and himself right out of the drawing canvas that they were on, and into the "real world", which absolutely dwarfed the spaces of Omniverses and places beyond Omniverses that they were on before like, like, they were just big.

Bugs pulls out a huge block of TNT that ruptured the house they were in on itself, as they accidentally cracked apart the planet they were just on, forcing them to :jump: to the moon for "safety".

The camera zooms in, at a very tiny indeed tag on the block, saying...

"9^999999999999999999999^infinity^infinity^infinity^infinity^infinity^infinity^infinity... Infinites of TNT, and eh... What's up, Doc?" Bugs pointed at him, Doctor Luigi, who continued to stand there doing nothing.

...

Luigi was still doing absolutely nothing, but with all the time in the world, Bugs continued pulling out clones of infinite TNTs at him, all wired to detonate all at ONCE!

And so they did, in an explosion that shakes the very fabric of REALITY and what the very thing they stood on stood for: the Ground!The TNT's smoke soon cleared after a period of time, only for Bugs to quickly and handily pour some water on Father Time.

It did absolutely nothing! Zero effect! Nill! This was Total Zero!

He then set up two cloning machines, pulling them right from under his back. One was set to Goku, the other to Superman.

They began to churn out clones of said characters as they began charging straight at the one who does nothing, barraging him with endless punching at speeds only light can dream of. Gazillions of punches over and over and over were landed in volleys, bursts, constant fire, whatever on the one who does nothing, from every direction, kamehamehas, heat rays, and tossed planets were hurled at the Weegee.

Bugs then set up two more cloning machines, one was configured to Saitama, and the other for well, more Saitamas.

They then came out of those devices in droves, degrees of infinity no less, as they began to abstract punch the Luigi. A huge cloud of smoke that dwarfed even the Solar System and the surrounding Milky Way, as well as the entire Virgo Supercluster had manifested very soon after the Saiyans, Kryptonians, and Super Humans were pounding on Luigi from every direction.

Bugs Bunny commented, "Gee, ain't I a stinker?" A nearby Moon scatters in all directions at impossibly fast speeds! Because, one guy managed to ruin it, and he punched the Mooon!

(Cue Death by Glamour)

More and more continued to come out of the machines in the infinites, no, omni infinites, but then... just as a Superman was going to march out from a machine...

BRRRZZZZTTTT

It had stopped working! Was it a 404 error? Bugs had more tricks up his sleeve of course, but hey, at least one more Superman joined the fight, and he infinite mass punched the Luigi too!

The smoke kept accumulating until it spread across galaxies, and then superclusters and then the universe as everything was covered in gray.

The infinites upon infinites of legions of superheroes continued wailing at the One who Stands Still, continueing their attack, their offense. It was brutal, but they kept doing it over and over, even though the first Goku fell into an Abyss in Space... somehow.

And then a Superman, and then a Saitama. They had begun to fall into Bottomless pits, fatigued as they are from all the relentless punching and kicking and attacking and serious punching and serious headbutting and serious laser beams, and they were faltering by the masses into seemingly out of nowhere pits. The universal+ smoke was soon clearing, but not for long, for, as the final superhero began to land his final punch before tripping into a random hole in the ground, the whole cloud dissipated into nothingness.

HE WAS STILL STANDING! OH MY GOD!

Bugs pulled out a jack in the box that said "Hyper Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann"

It plopped open, and out came out a gigantic mech that outsized the very universe and beyond, even reaching into other universes accidentally. Taking the temptation, the HTTGL, under Bug's pilotship, began to form a gigantic drill out of nowhere that outsized the place they were fighting in.

"FLOWER DOC... BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK" Bugs flew at the Weegee in a flash with his bright white and shiny silver gray finish Mecha that broke open galactic eggs as it continued to fly towards Luigi anticlimatically slowly.

Finally, he managed to impact him, but the drill just cracked open like the egg it was.

Bugs was still not frustrated, as he perserveres.

Bugs then pulls out some spare Floridas out from the back of his hand, and starts throwing them one by one at Luigi. One misses it's mark, and destroys some Omniverses in the distance.

(Cue Saitama vs Genos)

(Cue Clowning Around)

(Cue Before my Body is Dry)

(Cue Sorairo Days)