Hannibal Lecter vs James Moriarty

Hannibal Lecter vs James Moriarty is a What-If? episode of Death Battle.

Description
''The Silence of the Lambs vs Sherlock Holmes! The Napoleon of Crime engages in battle with Hannibal the Cannibal! Witness the ultimate showdown between two formidable geniuses in a no-holds-barred duel to the death. Which evil genius shall prevail, and which one shall be let as food for the rats?''

Interlude
'''Boomstick: Villains. They come in so many shapes, so many sizes. D'you know what my favourites are, Wiz?'''

Wiz: The big guys who can kick the hero's ass, who don't have an ounce of brains in them?

Boomstick: How dare you!

Wiz: There have been an array of villains in fiction, but some of the best villains are the ones who are universally smarter than the heroes.

Boomstick: Like Hannibal Lecter, the scariest psychiatrist of all time.

Wiz: And James Moriarty, the nemesis of Sherlock Holmes and the Napoleon of Crime.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Hannibal Lecter
Wiz: Hannibal Lecter VIII was born to Count Lecter and Simonetta Sforza-Lecter, to a wealthy aristocratic family descended from Hannibal the Grim.

Boomstick: He may have been born into power, but that power was soon brought crashing down on his head by one small girl.

Wiz: Mischa Lecter, Hannibal's sister, was one of the few, if not the only friend that Hannibal maintained in his childhood. One day, the lodge they had moved to was invaded by LIthuanians, who held the siblings captive. Lecter survived, but...well...

Boomstick: His poor, dear sister became appetisers for the LIthuanians, traumatising poor Hanny and revoking his faith in God entirely.

Wiz: Hannibal became convinced that the world lacked any justice. One of his first acts on this philosophy was to assault and mutilate any of the bullies at the orphanage that his family's castle had become.

Boomstick: He sounds like the kind of guy you'd always want by your side to make your day just a little bit brighter, doesn't he?

Wiz: Not really. Hannibal Lecter is actually a dangerous psychopath, though it's proven impossible to narrow down what kind of psychosis he belongs to.

Boomstick: Yep, even though Lecter graduated from Lycee as the youngest person admitted to a med school in France, he's still a maniac with no qualms about dishing out violent, bloody justice on those he sees as his enemies.

Wiz: Aided by the fact that Hannibal Lecter is a vastly intelligent individual. With a photographic memory and an almost unlimited understanding of psychology and psychiatry, he was renowned for having a 'savage wit' by his peers.

Boomstick: And when we say 'peers', we're probably putting it mildly, since Lecter is probably the most intelligent man encountered in the books and it seems impossible to even gain a personal advantage over him.

Wiz: Even though Lecter is a small man by some regards, he is actually very strong and not intimidated by larger opponents.

Boomstick: As evidenced by this truly glorious escape scene:

[Shows Hannibal's escape scene in The Silence of the Lambs]

'''Boomstick: Look at it. Just LOOK at it! Isn't that...beautiful?'''

Wiz: You should probably go and see a doctor.

Hannibal Lecter: Good morning.

Wiz: No! Not him! One unique aspect of Lecter's personality is his utilisation of the memory palace, which enables him to remember everything that happens to him. He is also a consummate speaker.

Boomstick: What the hell does that mean?

Wiz: It means that he is capable of controlling people solely with his speech, and can pick a person apart based on one small conversation.

'''Boomstick: Anyway, Hannibal Lecter is pretty badass in a fight. One o the key aspects of his fighting style, or lack thereof, is the act that he is a complete and total animal!'''

Wiz: While capable of being cultured and calm and polite at one point, Lecter seems capable of turning into a vicious enemy when he needs to be.

Boomstick: Hannibal Lecter is one scary son of a bitch!

''Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.''

James Moriarty
Wiz: He is the Napoleon of Crime, Boomstick. He is the organiser of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker. He has a brain of the first order. He sits motionless, like a spider in the centre of its web, but that web has a thousand radiations, and he knows well every quiver of each of them.

'''Boomstick: Wiz, you need to stop reading books and get down to some Walking Dead. It's not doing you any favours.'''

Wiz: Professor James Moriarty is the archenemy of Sherlock Holmes, one of the greatest detectives in all of fiction.

Boomstick: Nobody really knows all that much about this guy and how he came to be the man that he is.

Wiz: Sherlock Holmes tells us that he was born into aristocracy and he became one of the brightest students in London, showing an incredible mathematical faculty and scientific mind. Other than that, Moriarty's past is a total mystery.

Boomstick: What matters is that, one day, Professor Moriarty discovered one thing - criminals are dumb as shit!

Wiz: Recognising his own brilliance and talent for organisation, Moriarty dedicated himself into a life of crime and sought to create a mighty organisation throughout London, with him at the heart of it. He became a phantom,her a deity, an enigma in the eyes of the law, for nobody ever detected him and his pivotal involvement in crime.

Boomstick: Until one man came along.

Sherlock Holmes: (In the guise of a woman) I agree it's not my best disguise.

Wiz: Sherlock Holmes, a consulting detective in Baker Street, delved into an investigation of the criminal underworld, and he realised that there was a subtle hint of organisation behind it. He tracked it to one man, a famed university professor of mathematics, and one of the greatest battles of wits in Victorian literature began.

'''Boomstick: Moriarty soon found out that Sherlock Holmes was one of the few people who could potentially bring him down. Naturally, he got really pissed off at this, and made three attempts on the man's life.'''

Wiz: All three of these attempts were made to look like accidents, but they were also designed to be undetected if anybody suspected Moriarty behind it. Finally, Moriarty confronted Holmes in person.

'''Boomstick: Moriarty threatened Sherlock's life, and the life of everyone he loved, if he wasn't left alone. Sherlock Holmes' only response was ' Screw you, you're going down! ' and Moriarty pursued him across Europe, right up to the Reichenbach Falls.'''

Wiz: There, though the details of the confrontation are a mystery, a climactic showdown took place in which both men fell to their deaths.

Boomstick: Sherlock survived, but it is unknown for sure what happened to Moriarty.

Wiz: Professor Moriarty is one of the most intelligent men in the Sherlock Holmes franchise. He managed to construct and operate a massive criminal organisation that was apparently much larger than anyone truly knew. He is also a master of disguise and anonymity.

'''Boomstick: As far as weapons go, he carries with him a cane that conceals a small gun, a classic Victorian revolver. He is a pretty decent marksman, but he prefers to use his brains rather than rely on weapons that can blast people to death.'''

Wiz: However, when the chips are down and no alternative can be found, Professor Moriarty is no slouch in a fight. He is adept in hand-to-hand combat, despite his advanced age, and he can hold his ground against Sherlock Holmes. He was a Cambridge boxing champion, and is regarded as a very unpredictable opponent.

Boomstick: He doesn't have any obvious weakness.

Wiz: However, his arrogance can be considered a fatal flaw when you think about it. He is prone to overconfidence that he can win.

'''Boomstick: Can you blame him? He's so smart that he eluded the London police his whole life, while operating the biggest criminal network in London.'''

Wiz: Professor James Moriarty is not to be trifled with.

''Professor Moriarty: Let's not waste any more of one another's time. We both know how this ends.''

Pre-fight
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate, once and for all.

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!

DEATH BATTLE
Professor Moriarty enters his study, and a waiter follows after him, placing a roast chicken on his desk. Moriarty begins to dine, but not before realising that the waiter has taken a seat in front of him.

Moriarty: Can I help you?

Waiter: No, sir. I was ssimply waiting to hear if you enjoyed your meal.

Moriarty: I see.

Moriarty curiously studies the meal, but then he realises something - there is a fingernail in the meal. He looks up at the waiter, suddenly tense.

Moriarty: What is this?

Waiter: Chicken, sir.

Moriarty: Chicken?

He holds up the fingernail.

Moriarty: Chickens don't have nails like this.

Waiter: It was'' a chicken, sir. He screamed and cried when I cut him up. What else would you call him?''

The waiter stands up and steps into the light, revealing the face of Hannibal Lecter.

''Lecter: It is truly an honour to meet you, Professor. At present, you are eating one of your more troublesome subordinates. He raped women and butchered children, so I....obliged him with his own work, as it were.''

Moriarty: Hannibal Lecter.

Lecter bows gracefully, and Moriarty reaches for his caner.

''Lecter: I have been looking forward to this meeting, Professor. If you weren't the man you are, we would never have crossed paths.''

Moriarty aims the cane at Lecter from under the desk, and fires. Lecter, hearing the gunshot at the last second, swerves to one side, and clutches the knife on Moriarty's desk.

''Moriarty: You came here to kill me. You just made a terrible mistake.''

Lecter: Not as terrible as yours, Professor.

Fight!

Lecter has his hand in his back pocket, which Moriarty notices.

Moriarty: As I said to an old adversary, it is a dangerous habit to finger a loaded firearm in the pocket of one's dressing gown.

Lecter: Am I wearing a dressing gown, Professor?

Moriarty: No, but as you can see, the advice still applies.

Lecter smiles, clearly impressed, and places a hidden gun on the table, which Moriarty snatches.

''Lecter: You have the advantage, sir. You have two weapons, mine own, and one which you are currently hiding under your wonderful mahogany desk and aiming at my groin. If you will do me the decency of disarming yourself of the latter.''

''Moriarty: As you say, I have the advantage. I will not abandon that advantage so easily.''

''Lecter: Your dearly departed subordinate said something similar. I cut out his lungs and cut them up, eating them myself. His lungs breathed such arrogance to me, and thus he deserved it.''

''Moriarty: I must admit, I never thought we would ever meet. Hannibal the Cannibal. Your reputation doesn't do you credit.''

''Lecter: Both of your reputations, on the other hand, do you credit. The reputation as a renowned professor, and the reputation as a dangerous criminal. Perhaps the most dangerous criminal I have encountered.''

lunges for Moriarty, who swings up his cane from under the desk, knocking the knife out of Lecter's hand. Lecter clutches his wrist briefly, and Moriarty aims at him again. Lecter tears the cane out of his hand and beats him three times with it. Moriarty recoils from the blows, and (in slow motion) focuses on Lecter's exposed stomach. He launches a blow for Lecter's stomach, but Lecter soaks up the blow and swipes his opponent's arm out of the way, leaving him exposed as well. He swings with the cane again, and Moriarty ducks, retrieving his pistol and aiming back at Lecter, who slips behind the desk as Moriarty fires three times, missing. He flees from the room.

Lecter: Run, rabbit, run.

He strides after Moriarty, who disappears into the shadowy side of a corridor. Lecter paces calmly, then closes his eyes and enters his mind palace. The whole world slows down and he notices Moriarty's frame against the wall. He aims Moriarty's cane at him, but Moriarty isn't there: it was a coat-hanger with Moriarty's coat wrapped around it. Moriarty emerges behind Lecter and aims again. He fires, and Lecter ducks, turning around and aiming with the cane. His shot misses slightly, scarring Moriarty's sleeve, and Moriarty glances disapprovingly at the tear in the fabric. He aims again, and Hannibal charges. Time slows down again.

Lecter: ''(In his head) He has fired too many times. He is out of bullets, and he hasn't realised it. Maybe, because this man is afraid of me. That is unfortunate, you would think that a man like Professor James Moriarty wouldn't succumb to fear so easily.''

Moriarty fires and, indeed, is out of bullets, and Lecter slams into him, the cane above his head. Moriarty twists out of the way almost artistically and Lecter hits the wall with a thud. He twists around and swings the cane again, but Moriarty catches the weapon in mid-swing and rips it out of Lecter's hands, beating him back with it.

''Lecter: You have the advantage again, Professor. But, you are scared, else you would have been smart enough to realise that you were out of bullets. Surely, someone as meticulously clever as yourself would be able to count the number of bullets in a revolver?''

Moriarty: And surely someone as focused as yourself would have better aim than you do.

Lecter: Indeed.

Lecter attacks with a hidden knife and Moriarty, suddenly afraid, dodges, swinging wildly at Lecter. He misses by an inch and Lecter seizes him with both hands, throwing him through a door. Moriarty crashes through the door, into the open. He gets up and flees, and Lecter chases after him, a knife in one hand. He catches up with Moriarty, who is clearly fatigued by going through the door. He turns and faces his opponent, arms loose by his side. The two men lunge at each other.

''Moriarty: This man is different from the rest. Worse than Holmes, who had scruples. This man cut up one of my own kind and fed him to me. I have to end this quickly.''

Moriarty dodges Lecter when the man stabs at him with the knife, and lands a blow to the doctor's jaw that rocks him backwards.

''Lecter: Strong. Very strong. And he knows what he is doing.''

Lecter lunges again, but Moriarty hits him seven more times, driving Lecter back further. Lecter catches the eighth blow and headbutts him. Moriarty yells and Lecter grabs him, slamming his knee into Moriarty's stomach. Moriarty staggers back, and Lecter stabs with the knife, going straight for Moriarty's throat.

Moriarty: This is not going well at all!

He slides to one side and notices that a fog is approaching them. He smiles and lunges again, but Lecter kicks his feet from under him and pins him down, only for Moriarty to grapple against his enemy. Soon, Moriarty is the one on top. Moriarty punches him several times and seizes the knife when Lecter tries to use it again. Lecter lets him take it and smiles.

''Lecter: Good form, Professor. I have been defeated. I wonder, will you kill me now? Do you usually do your own dirty work...no, you don't. I recognise the work of other killers whenever you're involved, and you never seem to do the killing yourself. Shameful, even for a man of your cunning and ruthlessness! Kill me, James - I can call you James, can I? - and I will not haunt you any longer. If you leave me to one of your rubes then there is a chance that I will kill them, mince them up and serve them to you, this time not in person. You will not know. There will not be any nails in the meal in which they are served, I promise you. The Napoleon of Crime will fear me, how does that sound?''

Moriarty hisses and lunges with the knife, and Hannibal seizes both arms, plunging the knife-arm into the ground next to him. For a few seconds, the two men are nose-to-nose and Lecter headbutts him. Moriarty slackens on to his back, and crawls into the fog, disappearing. Lecter gets up, noticing some of Moriarty's blood on his collar. He mutters something under his breath and gets up.

''Lecter: Professor...must we continue to do this. I am getting quite tired of you running from me, why don't you face me properly. You came so close a moment ago.''

Moriarty lunges at Lecter from out of the corner of his eye and slams him against a tree. Lecter screams, for his arm has been broken, by the impact, and shoves Moriarty away. Moriarty lunges again, and Lecter lunges with the knife. Moriarty sees the knife at the last second and tries to move away, but his heels skid on the mud beneath him and he collides with the knife. The blade goes straight into his heart. Lecter breathes a sigh of relief and shoves Moriarty away, with the knife still in the Professor's chest. Moriarty is dead.

Lecter: I'm disappointed.

He looks, aghast, at the blood all over his suit now, and stands over Moriarty's corpse. He then notices something that unsettles him - folds in the skin of Moriarty's neck that weren't there before. Lecter takes the knife from Moriarty's chest and cuts at his neck, which cuts away easily. He tears at the skin, which is revealed to be a mask. The man underneath the mask is bald, with green eyes - a completely different person.

Lecter: Interesting.

A figure explodes from behind Lecter, driving a powerful knee into his stomach and a fist into his throat. Lecter, completely caught off guard, staggers back, and Professor James Moriarty stands in front of him, having used a red herring to distract Lecter. Lecter, suddenly concerned that he has been outsmarted, lunges with the knife. Moriarty is ready for him, and grabs his broken arm and twists, causing Lecter to buckle and cry out. Lecter lunges with the knife to MOriarty's knee, and Moriarty traps his wrist between his knees, wrestling the knife free. Moriarty picks it up and raises it above his head. He brings it down sharply, stabbing him in the back of the head. Lecter slackens, and Moriarty lets his corpse go limp.

Moriarty: To your credit, Dr. Lecter, you were a very worthy opponent.

K.O.

Conclusion
'''Boomstick: Holy shit! That was one bloody battle right there, Wiz!'''

Wiz: Hannibal Lecter and Professor Moriarty were both intellectual titans of their time, and dangerous criminals, but in the end it all comes down to how they adapt to their situation.

'''Boomstick: Both of these guys were a little old, and therefore have picked up quite a few tricks in their life. Lecter knew to goad Moriarty into making a mistake, and Moriarty's first instinct was to aim his cane-gun at Lecter before it got physical.'''

Wiz: Moriarty is clearly skilled in physical combat, having been a match for Sherlock Holmes, but Lecter had a wholly different advantage of being an animal in a fight. His wild, savage style was a foil for Moriarty's finesse, therefore Lecter was a potentially better fighter than Moriarty.

Boomstick: However, Moriarty had a plan b: disguise one of his own goons as himself and lie in wait for Lecter to be distracted.

Wiz: Lecter hasn't got an obvious weakness, but once he killed the decoy Moriarty he hadn't expected Moriarty to actually still be alive. He had already been seriously injured in the fight, and had fatigued himself killing the decoy, therefore Moriarty, who had had time to regain his strength, was able to overpower him.

'''Boomstick: Lecter's escape from prison was partly down to the element of surprise, even though he's a pretty strong fighter. The unfortunate thing is that Lecter is used to killing ordinary people, and hasn't trained in killing, and therefore he relies more on savagery than skill. Moriarty, on the other hand, knew to plan further ahead.'''

Wiz: Moriarty discovered that Lecter was stronger than him, and resorted to more dirty tactics, which Lecter didn't anticipate because he knew Moriarty purely by reputation. If Moriarty had been anywhere else, bereft of his resources, then Lecter would have probably beaten him.

Boomstick: In the end, Dr. Lecter got his ass Hann-ded to him.

Wiz: That's just terrible, Boomstick.

'''Boomstick: Shut up, Wiz. The winner is Professor Moriarty.'''