Mewtwo vs. Lucy Diclonius (Elfen Lied)

Opening
Pixie: Ah, science. It’s brought us everything from the computer, to the automobile, to edible panties. But sometimes, science ends up fucking with things man was not meant to fuck with, and the next thing you know, we have a human-hating psychopath with deadly powers on our hands. Like Mewtwo, the most powerful Pokemon ever created.

Spider: Or Lucy, Queen of the Diclonius. I’m Spider.

Pixie: And I’m Pixie!

Spider: And it’s our job to analyze their power, abilities and skills to determine who would win a Death Battle.

Mewtwo
Pixie: Mewtwo was created when Giovanni, the leader of the evil criminal organization known as Team Rocket, used DNA from Mew to form a clone he believed would be the ultimate weapon. He succeeded, but apparently he didn’t do so well with the whole ‘obedience’ thing, because Mewtwo ended up using its awesome psychic powers to blow the ever-loving shit out of the lab it had been held in and escape.

Spider: Before we go any further, I’d like to make it clear that we are only going to include Mewtwo’s canon abilities, feats and moves from the movies. Recover, Psych-up, Me First and all the other moves Mewtwo can only learn in the video-games are not part of canon, and will not be included. If we went by game rules and did let Mewtwo use those abilities, then we would also have to include the limitation of only being able to remember four moves, as well as importing Mewtwo’s in-game fragility and the Power Point mechanic, which would leave Mewtwo unable to use an attack after it had been used a certain number of times.

Pixie:  I don’t think anybody here wants to see that. Besides, Mewtwo’s so badass it doesn’t need those other moves, anyways! Its telekinesis is powerful enough to stop and hurl away a speeding Rhyhorn, move an entire lake underground, and even create a storm powerful enough to destroy all of human society. Jean Grey ain’t got shit on this.

Spider: Mewtwo can also use its telekinesis to fly or create nearly impenetrable barriers for defense.

Pixie: But that’s not all! Mewtwo also has telepathic abilities, which it can use to communicate with humans and Pokémon, and has even demonstrated the ability to mind-control people. It can fly through the air at incredible speeds, and teleport out of the way of attacks.

Spider: An already absurd plethora of powers, but Mewtwo also has the intelligence of a super-computer, and can launch an energy attack called the Shadow Ball, either as a single, powerful blast, or as a barrage.

Pixie: Mewtwo doesn’t get hit a whole lot, but when it does, it shows off some surprising durability, and can easily shrug off being hurled into a stone wall or zapped with electricity. With all of these powers at its command, Mewtwo has done more than enough to live up to Giovanni’s dream of creating an ultimate weapon.

[Clip from Pokémon: The First Movie]

Mewtwo: Behold my powers! I am the most powerful Pokémon in the world!

Lucy Diclonius
Pixie: …Hey, you ever have that one dream, the one where you find a hot, naked girl just lying on the beach? Yeah? Have you gotten to the part where she horribly murders everyone yet?

Spider: Lucy was born a Diclonius, a mutant with pink hair and eyes and small, triangular horns growing out of her head. Like most Diclonius, Lucy was shunned and tormented by her peers, hated for both her appearance, and the deadly powers she had been born with.

Pixie: Because clearly, when you find out that one of your classmates is an incredibly powerful and dangerous mutant, the first thing you want to do is go out of your way to piss them off as badly as possible.

Spider: Lucy was driven to the breaking point when three of her classmates held her arms and forced her to watch as they beat Lucy’s beloved puppy to death. It was then that she first discovered her Vectors.

Pixie: Which is like, telekinesis or something, right?

Spider: Not quite. Lucy’s Vectors are actually a set of four extendable hands that vibrate at such a high speed, they are invisible to the naked eye and can cut through nearly any material.

Pixie: Unfortunately for the kids who had just killed her puppy, ‘nearly any material’ included them. Damn, that’s a lot of blood…

Spider: Lucy committed a slew of murders using her Vectors, and while she was eventually captured and held in a laboratory for a variety of experiments, she escaped.

Pixie: And in a fashion that would make Mewtwo proud, she killed the ever-loving shit out the people who had been holding her captive on her way out. But while escaping, she took a sniper-round to the head, which caused her to develop a cute second personality named Nyu! Because that’s totally how head injuries work, you guys.

Spider: Well, while it is certainly likely that the impact to her brain was a factor, it is possible that Nyu was the result of Lucy’s inner kindness, compassion and love splintering off due to her guilt at the murders she had committed. It’s also possible that the formation of Nyu was a subconscious effort to bury the murderous part of Lucy’s personality so that her only true friend, Kouta, might be able to love her again.

Pixie: In any case, Lucy’s mind is child-like, harmless and docile while in ‘Nyu’ mode. In fact, she becomes so child-like that she has trouble speaking, and mostly just repeats her name over and over again. Hey, wait a second… she constantly repeats her name. She has incredible powers. Her name rhymes with Mew… oh my God! Lucy’s a Pokémon! I’ll bet she’s like, Mewtwo’s long-lost sister or something! They both have stubby white horns, and look! They even have the same taste in helmets.

[Shows a shot of Mewtwo wearing a helmet, then a shot of Lucy wearing a very similar helmet]

Spider: ...No. While Nyu is harmless and rather defenseless, Lucy’s murderous personality will soon take control whenever Nyu is hurt or threatened.

Pixie: Originally, her Vectors could only reach two meters, but they eventually extended to a length of two kilometers, and later, got long enough to reach into space. When she’s not using them to carve people into piles of bloody Carne Asada or hurl random objects with lethal speed and accuracy, Lucy can use her Vectors to block attacks, including machine-gun fire from multiple guns.

Spider: Lucy also possesses super-human durability and an accelerated healing factor. She shrugged off being thrown into a tombstone from several blocks away, and once failed a suicide attempt because her body healed the damage before she could bleed out.

Pixie: Her vectors can also be used to land super-powerful punches, or to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Spider: At her peak, she was powerful enough to tear through an army, and nearly committed the genocide of the human race single-handed, but while she has proven intelligent enough to use nearby weapons and objects to her advantage, she has a few flaws.

Pixie: Her most obvious flaw is that she’s bat-shit crazy. In addition to jumping between cuddly to homicidal at the flip of a switch, kid Lucy was haunted by hallucinations of an older, bandage-wrapped doppelganger of herself, officially dubbed, ‘The Voice of Lucy’s DNA’. She’s also too sadistic for her own good. Seriously, go count the number of times Lucy has a chance to kill someone, but takes too long screwing around and torturing them, and ends up getting interrupted. Of course, a couple of those people ended up becoming best buddies with Nyu and Kouta and the gang, so it all works out for the best, I guess.

Spider: She has shown that she can make more efficient kills when needed, however, and all things considered, Lucy is one of the most terrifying and powerful people to ever walk the planet.

[Clip from Elfen Lied shows Lucy standing over Nana after cutting off all four of her limbs]

Lucy: Are you suffering? Don’t worry… I’ll put you out of your misery.

DEATH BATTLE!
Spider: Alright, our combatants are ready. It’s time to end this debate once and for all.

Pixie: It’s time for a Death Battle!

*    *   *

Nyu wanders through a city, exploring, having once again slipped away from Kouta and her other friends. The weather outside is beautiful, and Nyu walks down the side-walk with a smile, cheerfully calling, “Nyu! Nyu!”

Little does Nyu know, she is being watched by a nearby Pokémon trainer, Ash Ketchum, and his dedicated ally, Pikachu.

Ash looks down at his Pokédex, puzzled. “Weird. There’s no information on it in here. It must be some kind of brand new Pokémon nobody has ever seen before.”

Pikachu cocks its head. “Chu?” it inquires.

The boy smiles and draws a Pokéball. “I’m gonna be the first one to capture it.”

Ash throws the Pokéball, and it cracks Nyu in the head and bounces off. Scared and hurt, Nyu grabs her head and begins bawling.

“Nyu! Nyu!?” she cries, tears dripping from her eyes.

Ash raises an eyebrow. “Huh? The Pokéball must have been defective. Let’s try a Master Ball!”

Pikachu tugs at Ash’s pant-leg and furiously shakes its head. “Pika! Pika pika!” it pleads.

Ash smiles. “Don’t worry, Pikachu. The Master Ball never misses!”

He throws the Master Ball, but suddenly, Lucy takes control over Nyu. A Vector catches the ball a few feet from Lucy’s head. Lucy stares hatefully into Ash’s eyes as her vectors tear the Master Ball into a pile of scrap metal.

Ash swallows, sweat beading on his forehead. “Uh… sorry?”

Pikachu has had enough of this, and dashes away down the street, Ash in hot pursuit.

“Foolish, arrogant humans,” Lucy mutters, sullenly.

Suddenly, Mewtwo floats down out of the sky, looks at Lucy and sends a telepathic message. “Your power is quite extraordinary,” it remarks. “You would make a valuable ally.”

Lucy looks up, baring her teeth, and her vectors slash through the concrete side-walk around her feet, tearing it into large chunks. “I have enough voices in my head already.”

Mewtwo glares and spreads its arms, and storm clouds gather overhead as rain begins to fall. “You’ll regret threatening me. I am the most powerful Pokémon the world has ever known.”

FIGHT!

Lucy hurls a chunk of concrete at Mewtwo, who telekinetically catches it with ease, then hurls it back. A vector slice destroys the concrete before it can hit, and Lucy attacks with a barrage of flying concrete. Mewtwo forms a barrier to deflect the concrete, then counters by hurling a nearby lamp-post, but Lucy’s vectors grab a passing garbage truck and she uses it as an improvised shield. The lamp-post shatters, and Lucy launches the truck at Mewtwo, who calmly teleports out of the way.

Rather than continue trying to overpower Lucy, Mewtwo uses its telepathy… and pauses, unsettled. Something is wrong with this woman’s brain. It’s even darker and more twisted than its own, echoing with a chaotic clamor of voices the psychic Pokémon can hardly understand, and at a more fundamental level, it simply isn’t built like a human’s brain, or even like a Pokémon’s. Before Mewtwo can determine a way to use his mind-control on this strange new brain, Lucy attacks with her Vector, slicing open Mewtwo’s face. The Pokémon cries out in shock and grasps the wound.

Lucy smirks. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I catch you day-dreaming?”

She unleashes a furious barrage of Vector slices, and Mewtwo quickly forms a barrier. The Pokémon staggers under the force of the seemingly endless assault, then teleports into the air, roughly thirty feet behind Lucy. It fires a barrage of small Shadow Balls from its hands, then pauses to gather energy, and launches a much larger blast. Lucy turns around and deflects the barrage, scattering the shots into the ground around her. As the larger blast comes near, she catches it with her vectors. The dark, swirling ball spins and grinds against her vectors, trying to break through, but she slices the energy ball apart and disperses it.

Mewtwo begins flying away, and Lucy uses her vectors to launch herself towards it. Suddenly, Mewtwo turns around, grabs Lucy with its telekinesis, and hurls her down through the roof a store below. Mewtwo folds its arms and slowly descends towards the store-front, watching carefully for any signs of life.

“…How do you plan to kill me if that’s the best you can do?” Lucy calls.

Suddenly, Mewtwo hears a gun inside the store being cocked. It throws up a barrier just as Lucy fires a stolen hunting rifle, deflecting the bullet. Lucy knocks down the store’s front wall with a couple of quick vectors strikes, strides out, smirking, and unloads the rifle into Mewtwo’s barrier. Mewtwo blocks the shots and moves to charge another Shadow Ball, but Lucy presses forwards with another barrage of Vector slices. Mewtwo is forced to cancel its attack and once again focus on maintaining its barrier.

Lucy advances as Mewtwo strains to hold off her attacks, until finally, the barrier gives out, and Lucy jams her Vector through the Pokémon’s skull. Mewtwo’s eyes roll up, blank, its mouth gasping in mute agony as blood and brain fluid run out from the wound. Lucy decapitates Mewtwo, slices off all its limbs and cuts its torso in half.

K.O!

                The rain washes away Mewtwo’s blood, then begins to slow as the clouds part and the sun reappears. Lucy rubs her head and shuts her eyes for a moment, and her smirk vanishes, replaced by a look of child-like confusion.

“Nyu?”

Post-Battle Analysis
Pixie: …BULLSHIT!

Spider: Well, someone was bound to say it.

Pixie: There is no way in hell the most bad-assed Pokemon ever created lost. My childhood refuses to accept it!

Spider: This was by far the closest match we have ever had. Though both of these characters are incredibly powerful, Lucy’s feats reveal that she had an edge in pure power. Mewtwo may have been able to create a society-wrecking storm, but at the height of her power, Lucy was strong enough to cut the planet itself to pieces.

Pixie: So what if Lucy was stronger? Mewtwo was smarter and faster!

Spider: While Mewtwo did have an advantage in intelligence, Lucy’s no dimwit, and has proven that she is capable of taking any advantage her environment provides her. Mewtwo may have had a higher movement speed, but movement speed and reaction speed are completely different things. Lucy used her Vectors to block fire from at least a dozen machine-guns at once. Even a slower model of machine-gun fires at a rate of 300 rounds per minute, or five bullets per second. At the very least, Lucy had to deflect a whopping sixty projectiles per second, all of which were traveling too fast to even be seen by the human eye, and that’s the conservative estimate. Remember, her vectors aren’t the same thing as a force-field. They’re her hands, meaning she had to move them around and individually block every single bullet. For about thirty seconds straight, and this didn’t even seem to tire her. She was easily swift enough to deflect or evade virtually anything that Mewtwo threw at her, and the rate and power of her attacks swiftly wore down Mewtwo’s barriers. While Metwo has survived being electrified and knocked into walls, it is very rarely forced to take direct hits, and nothing suggests that it could survive multiple vector strikes.

Pixie: But Mewtwo can telekinetically throw her! She can’t dodge or block that, right?

Spider: Yes, but Lucy has survived being thrown long distances with no harm done before, and she could likely use her vectors to cushion the impact like a spring, the same way she uses them to jump. Mewtwo’s teleportation and flight gave its a mobility advantage, but considering that Lucy’s vector reach over two kilometers, it wasn’t likely that it’d stay out of her attack range for long.

Pixie: Well, what about Mewtwo’s mind control?

Spider: Mewtwo has only been shown to use mind-control on human beings. Scientists explicitly state that Lucy is no longer a biological homo sapien. She’s not simply insane, or a person with multiple personalities; her brain is so physically different from a normal human being’s that there is no guarantee that Mewtwo would be able to control her. It might have a chance if he was given some time to analyze her, but the speed of Lucy’s attacks and her vicious fighting style didn’t offer that chance.

Pixie: But—

Spider: Before you even mention Mega Evolutions, let me remind you that Mewtwo would only be able to perform those with the support of a trainer who believed in it, while holding a piece of Mewtwonite. Which would be outsider interference.

Pixie (sigh): Alright, fine Lucy wins. I just wish Mewtwo could have pulled itself together.

Spider: The winner is Lucy Diclonius.

Next time on Death Battle!
''A small woman in a business suit steps out of a cab, scowling at an unknown adversary. “Don’t make me angry,” she says, as a green tinge crosses her skin...''

''                Her foe shouts back, “For the Shokan!”''