User blog:MP999/Ridonculous Race Episode 7, Part 2

Don: Welcome back. In case you missed it, Deadpool and Mega Man got really lucky and managed to make it to the second half of the challenge, while everyone else is back playing Pong on legend difficulty. And here they come now!

Deadpool and Mega Man run up to Don, who stands in front of a massive blue glowing wall in the middle of the darkness.

Don: No trip to retro gaming would be complete without a reference to Pac-Man. As the first two to come here, you two will be paired up for this next challenge.

Deadpool: Yo, $5 says he sends us to a killscreen level to get rid of us all and end the race.

Don: And lose most of my paycheque? I beg to differ. You and Mega Man will push a giant piece of fruit through to the end of this maze, where you will receive your next travel tip. Now, different fruits are different sizes, but the larger the piece you get through, the larger your reward for the next challenge!

Deadpool: So, waddya think, Blue Bomber?

Mega Man thinks for a bit and points to a giant Banana.

Deadpool: I was thinking the same thing!

Back at Pong, the contestants are not fairing much better than they did before, and several now have bruises from the high-velocity returns of the super Pong Paddle. Finally, Vegeta steps up to the plate.

Vegeta: All right, cretin, TAKE THIS!

Vegeta throws the racket down and shoots a massive energy blast at the cube, vaporizing it before it reaches him.

Don: Yo, you were supposed to return it to the other side, not send it to the other side.

Vegeta: We’ve been here for half an hour! Just let it count!

Weiss: Aw, the prince of no one’s been reduced to begging?

Don: Actually, he brings up a good point. If for nothing else but to spite the ice queen, Vegeta, you can go ahead.

Vegeta: What?

Weiss: WHAT?

Vegeta: Ha hah!

Vegeta runs off as Satsuki steps up to the plate, but fails miserably to return the serve. Meanwhile, in the maze, Deadpool is struggling to move the giant banana, and Mega Man isn’t doing much to help. When they turn around to see Vegeta closing the gap, Deadpool gets a lightbulb over his head and breaks out his swords. With Mega Man using his saw blades, they dice the banana up into small pieces, scoop them up into Deadpool’s magic satchel, and run off.

Vegeta: At last! Now, what’s the second part of the challenge?

Vegeta smacks the Don box, but it all comes out in Q-bert-ese.

Don: Translated, that means “wait for a partner”.

Vegeta: Hey, weren’t you just over... I flew at the speed of... what?

Slowly, the other competitors manage to (barely) return a serve from the Pong Paddle. Katara is first and teams up with Vegeta, and they enter the maze followed by Goku and Satsuki, Superman and the Inkling, Mario and Vincent, Lucas and Ringabel. Mewtwo also arrives at the maze, but is forced to wait for a partner, and the remaining combatants aren’t doing so well. As Pit fails to use the mirror shield to his success, Weiss is the next one up.

Weiss: I don’t get it! How did that idiot Vegeta manage to do this? I can’t lose to that buffoon!

In her anger, Weiss spawns a giant hand of ice from a glyph, holding a giant ice racket. It smashes the cube back, destroying the Pong Paddle with it. As everyone stares in amazement, they see a faint glow coming from the blackness behind them. A massive wall of numbers and letters approaches them, devouring the darkness.

Naruto: It’s the killscreen! RUN!

The combatants all run as fast as they can from the giant wall of death, and when they all approach the maze, Don pulls a plug from out of the wall and the killscreen disappears.

Don: Thank you all for forcing me to save your lives in the most anti-dramatic way possible. Now, get into the maze and stop breaking the game!

Weiss and Mewtwo begin to head out in their team, but Don stops them.

Don: You, heiress, are getting a half-hour penalty for that.

Weiss: WHAT?

Mewtwo: And that means I can’t go either?

Don: That pretty much sums it up.

Weiss and Mewtwo eye each other in frustration while the other teams gather fruits of various sizes and enter the maze.

Don: The teams are Deadpool and Mega Man, Vegeta and Katara, Goku and Satsuki, Superman and the Inkling, Mario and Vincent, Lucas and Ringabel, Naruto and Pit, and Weiss and Mewtwo. Who will win this a-maze-ing race? Come back soon!