Minato Arisato vs Yu Narukami

Pre Episode
Cue Music 1

Rena: Whoop! It's time for the Season Finale marathon! Aren't you guys excited?

Luther: Well, I know I would be if it meant we could finally ditch this busted down HQ.

Nova: We might be able to soon enough! I think the protestors are finally starting to calm down after our last few episodes! You see, I told you starting a blog would be a great idea.

''Alice: It was hardly ground breaking (or even original for that matter) but I suppose we'll give credit where it's due. Now we just have to make sure we don't piss off any more viewers with this marathon.''

'''Theodore: Indeed! Soon we can finally focus on the the true matter at hand! We shall free our employer from his unjust imprisonment!'''

Rena: Oh yeah, I completely forgot Boomstick even existed till now! Is the guy STILL in jail?

'''Theodore: Indeed. I'm honestly surprised his trial didn't start yet, but I assure you, we'll come to our dear friend's aid soon enough!'''

Alice: Well, we can start that as soon as the writer actually comes up with a script for that episode and stops putting it off.

Theodore: Well hey, a legal case simply cannot be planned overnight! It requires hours of dedication, research, and physical training...

'Luther: Physical training?! What are you even-'

'''Theodore: Luther, I have seen your Objection technique and it's simply.... Lacking in every way.'''

Nova: I second that, but I say we start the next episode before we put Luth through boot camp!

Description
This What If Death Battle will feature Minato Jesus Arisato from Persona 3 and Yu Pimptagonist Narukami from Persona 4. (Future What If Episode!)

These silent (most of the time, at least) protagonists are the main faces of the Persona series and for good reason. The Power of the Wild Card (and friendship) is especially strong with these teenagers but whose mentally powered mythological beings will prove superior?

Interlude
Luther: Gee, there sure are a lot of superpowers out there.

'''Theodore: I know, right? There's flight, mind reading, elemental manipulation, salmonella, polio, the possibilities are endless!'''

Alice: I'm pretty sure those last two were diseases.

Rena: Yeah those powers are cool and all, but not as cool as the ability to shoot yourself in the head to summon mythological entities from your psyche to fight by your side!

Alice: Or you could just shatter a tarot card instead.

Nova: Well either way, I'm sure we can all agree that having a whole squadron of those psychic summons is better than one, eh?

'Luther: I know, right? I'd love this kind of power! It even comes with the added benefits of becoming a total chick magnet and exuding swag without having to say a single word! Ah, a guy can only dream...'

Alice: Like Minato Arisato, the Emo Messiah.

Rena: I thought his name was Makot-

Theodore: And Yu Narukami, the Sister Complex Kingpin of Steel!

Nova: My name's Nova, and I'm joined here by... a lot of people this time. It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win-

Rena: A DEATH BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTLE!

'Luther: Alright, now because of the grand scale of this fight and the endlessly customizable aspects of today's combatants, I believe we should set up some ground rules first. For starters, we'll automatically be giving them their best possible equipment, since Persona IS an RPG series.'

''Alice: And naturally, we'll be giving both characters access to their signature Personas, including their first and ultimate Personas. To even things out, we'll give Yu and Minato a specified collection of 8 "auxiliary" Personas, granting them 10 in total.''

Theodore: Oh, and NO OMNIPOTENT ORBS WILL BE ALLOWED! We'd like to make this part especially clear, otherwise this battle would just go on for eternity.

Nova: We've even decided to compile a short list detailing exactly which Personas our combatants will be allowed to use.

Theodore: With the rules finally in place, I believe it's time for us to begin our judgment!

Minato Arisato/Makoto Yuki
Cue Music 2

'''Theodore: Allow me to tell you the tale of a young, silent man who never seemed to have a care in the world... Who would cast aside his mental reservations to become the most heroic-'''

Nova: Oh yeah, didn't you actually serve as that guy's butler before?

Theodore: Wha- I told you, that's a completely different chap!

Alice: Well whatever the case, it certainly never stopped Minato Arisato from being the most emo dude this side of Final Fantasy VII.

Rena: Minato? No, I'm pretty sure this guy's name is Makoto Yuki! Haven't you guys seen the movies?

'Luther: Nah, I know his real name's actually Raidou Kuzunoha. I read it in the instruction manual!'

''Alice: Eh, let me see the manual you're referring to... Yep, this thing was pirated. Hook, line, and stinker.''

'Luther: Dammit! I knew 666 credits was a bad price!'

Cue Music 3

Nova: Regardless of the guy's name, his nonchalant attitude made him the perfect candidate for the role of JRPG main character! Having been due for a transfer to Gekkoukan High School on April 7th, 2009, this would also be the first time Minato encountered the mysterious Dark Hour, the secret 25th hour of the day that occurs every midnight.

Theodore: In a show of what seems to be either pure bravery or outright I don't carenessity, Minato didn't really seem to give two shits about the dark green sky, the coffins littering the streets, or the creepy little kid that made him sign a contract to get into his dorm.

'Luther: I don't carenessity? Is that even a word?!'

Rena: It sure is now! Ignoring the random girl that threatened to shoot his ass upon arrival, Minato unwillingly went to school and made some new friends the next day.

Alice: Social Link Go!

'Luther: A few minor plot points later with some unwelcome stalking camera stalking thrown into the mix, Minato would finally be thrust into some real action! Now cornered on the dorm's rooftop by a grotesque Shadowy beast and his newfound friend too scared to fight back, Minato did the only sensible thing he could think of...'

Rena: HE SHOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD!

''Alice: An hero everybody. An hero.''

''Minato: Per... so... na!''

Cue Music 4

'''Theodore: Having no fear of death, Minato had no problem causing Mass Destruction either. he had awakened his initial Persona: Orpheus, Master of Strings!'''

Nova: I'd probably make a bad string pun at this point, but Orpheus's first summoning didn't go exactly as planned, instead transmogrifying into an even more terrifying Persona that tore everything apart and landed our main character into a week long coma!

Luther: That must have been one hell of a hangover...

Rena: So with the fact that this 17 year old high schooler nearly got himself killed on that faithful night in mind, Minato was coerced into joining a secret organization intended to further investigate the Dark Hour! Now Minato can experience the constant threat of death on a daily basis! And get extra credit for it too!

Alice: I'm sure that sounds like a dream come true.

Luther: Being forced to become the de facto leader of the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad (otherwise known as SEES) not long afterwards, Minato's life would now be changed forever.

Nova: Sure enough, SEES itself was composed entirely of fellow Persona users like Minato himself, but there's something about him that really separated him from the others-

Rena: Oh! It's gotta be the blue hair, right? There's no way that's natural!

Nova: Hey, I resent that-

Rena: Or is it the fact that he lacks people skills, yet still manages to form coherent bonds with others regardless?

''Alice: While those may actually be true for once, Minato's greatest defining factor is the power of the Wild Card. And no Rena, he's not a gambler.''

Rena: Aww...

'''Theodore: The number zero, otherwise known as the Fool Arcana represents infinite possibilities... Tis the void in from which all things begin and end...'''

Luther: In less geeky terms, this basically allows Minato to use as many Personas as he wants.

Theodore: Hey, my speech wasn't finished yet!

Nova: Yeah yeah, we'll make it up to you later. What's really important here is the fact that Minato can freely adjust his battle strategy with the pull of a trigger!

Alice: So with literally every Persona in the book at his disposal, it goes without saying that we should impose some clear limits for this particular fight, as stated earlier.

Rena: Much like his power of the Wild card, Minato is comfortable wielding just about any weapon into battle (but he can't use guns or knives for some reason). But regardless, later appearances have gone on to limit him to the use of a boring old one handed blade. What a letdown.

'''Theodore: Oh, you're not gonna be so disappointed when you bare witness to Minato's ultimate weapon, Lucifer's Blade! An unholy weapon literally crafted from the devil himself! Yes I said from, not by. He literally fused the Lord of Chaos into a sword.'''

Rena: Aaaaaawesome!

'Luther: It was really just a Persona of Uncle Lucy himself, but I'll let it slide. Now there's no denying Minato's great at copying old JRPG cliches, but his Personas are where it's really at!'

Cue Music 5

Nova: As Minato's first Persona, Orpheus is Minato's go-to tool in every battle. It specializes in fire attacks and whacking people over the head with a harp. (I can't imagine that would hurt very much.) It's nothing too special on paper, so Minato will definitely want to swap him out once he's done gauging his foe.

Theodore: Minato will want to keep Orpheus away from electric and dark attacks too, or he'll be feeling extra crispy afterwards.

Rena: But why rely on the boring old harpmeister when you can use your series cute and lovable mascot instead? Jack Frost will not only freeze your heart to the core with it's adorable looks, but it packs a wicked Sonic Punch too!

Alice: But just like any other outdated snowflake, Jackaboy over here will melt under pressure when the time comes for it to meet the flames.

'Luther: Oh, you're just jealous, Allie! Just because you'll never reach Frosty's level of popularity- OW! Not the hair!'

Nova: This all sounds pretty basic so far, so why don't we spice things up with ol' God of Death, Thanatos!

Rena: Wait, God of Death? I'm pretty sure you're thinking about Hades.

Nova: And I'M pretty sure I'm thinking about Thanatos.

'''Theodore: Well let's just say THIS Thanatos isn't exactly the one all you Nintendo fans out there may be familiar with. This incarnation just happens to be the very same beast that emerged from Orpheus at the beginning of the game. Oh, and it's also the manifestation of death that's been lurking around the protagonist's soul since he was around 7-'''

''Alice: Yeah, it's complicated, we get it. (It is a JRPG) The only thing that matters here is Thanatos's viscous fighting style. Armed with a single blade and an array of powerful magic, Thanatos is considered by many to be Minato's true signature Persona. It's not exactly hard to see why.''

Luther: There's no denying the utter badassery of Thanatos's design alone, but it does come at a rather unfortunate weakness...

...

''Alice: ...What the hell was that?! I don't even-''

Rena: Putting its rather lame weakness aside, it's still good to know Thanatos resists physical attacks and reflects darkness! Oh and it can somehow strengthen Minato's stength with his own blade simply by being summoned... I don't get it either.

Nova: Yeah, the God of death's cool and all, but what if I told you Minato can still do better that? How, you may ask? He can summon the goddamn Devil himself to fight by his side! How awesome is that?!

Theodore: Ah yes, Lucifer is undoubtedly one of the most fearsome-

Nova: What? No, we're talking about Satan here, not Uncle Lucy!

'Luther: But aren't they the same dude either way? There's no difference between them!'

...and did you just call him Uncle-

''Alice: I can give you guys the whole mythological rundown later, but as of right now, Satan is a devastating force of Judgment, specializing in another wide array of magic than Thanatos, the ability to restore Minato with every passing turn, and even a complete repellance to light! ''

Rena: But if one Devil ain't enough for ya, Minato's got two of them on his side! Enter Helel, who kind of happens to BE Uncle Lucy himself. Well, at least a past version of himself from a time before YHVH game him the shaft. (And we ALL know that literal yellow bellied bastard is the real villain here.)

'Luther: Let me just get this straight first! SO not only does this verse classify Satan and Lucifer as two separate beings, but now we have TWO versions of the latter running around?! How the hell does that even begin work without making the universe collapse in on itself!?'

Nova: Tis best not to think about it too hard Luth. What's important here is Helel's position as a well rounded tool of destruction! Besides the usual elemental magic, Helel can fully restore Minato's health and... absorb the damage taken from Sword Slashes?

Alice: Oh, that's child's play when compared to his penultimate attack Morning Star, an Almighty blast of epic proportions!

Rena: Did you just say penultimate attack? Do you seriously mean there's more to this badass?!

''Alice: I sure do. By utilizing the power of Helel AND Satan at the same time, Minato can expend all of his remaining SP into the spell Armageddon! All you need to know here is that it's an attack guaranteed to score Minato a victory! (Unless he's fighting the resident optional boss, of course. That would just be too easy.)''

Rena: Yeah, we're not kidding when we say Armageddon is strong enough to one shot ANYTHING short of Nyx or Elizabeth. Oh and the whole using up all of Minato's SP bit? That's not exactly a problem when the skill Victory Cry completely refills his HP and SP after every battle.

'Luther: But hey, despite being the embodiments of Chaos, Helel and Satan here are still weak to ice and wind respectively. (Kind of weird if you ask me. I mean if anything, I'd think they'd be weak to the POWER OF LIGHT!)'

'''Theodore: We're not even done with this guy yet! Just how much crazier could this get, you may ask? Well, why don't we continue this lovely discussion with the almighty Odin Dark!'''

'Luther: Wrong Odin, Theo! In fact, that's not even the Odin you just mentioned!'

Nova: Nah, Minato's version of Odin actually makes use of magic and kind of looks like Doctor Manhattan for some reason. Complete with a convenient censorship cape, courtesy of the ESRB!

Rena: Whatever you wanna call him, the Allfather here is all about tazing people with lightning! That's not even getting into his cheap SP spending and devastating signature skill Thunder Reign, which happens to have a 100% chance of shocking you!

'Luther: Now let me reiterate: Odin's Thunder Reign has a 100% chance of shocking his targets. If I must explain, this is a rather debilitating status ailment that pretty much guarantees that you'll take a critical hit to the face by the next physical attack. proper abuse of this attack will pretty much result in some poor schmuck getting stunlocked and not being able to do anything about it!'

Theodore: And Thunder Reign hurts like hell too, especially when we combine it Elec Amp and Spell Master, two skills responsible for boosting electric attacks by 50% and cutting SP costs in half respectively!

''Alice: There's no denying this god's mastery of the storms, but ironically enough, he happens to be weak to even the slightest gust. I've heard of an Achilles Heel, but this is just ridiculous.''

Nova: At least we all know it'll be a breeze to take Odin down now! Eh? Eh?

Rena: BOOOOO! Get off the stage! And make way for Lord Megatron!

'''Theodore: You mean Minato can call on a Transformer too?! Such incredible-'''

'Luther: Sorry to burst your bubble there bro, but this is actually Metatron, usually known as the voice of God who also happens to represent Minato's intimate relationship with a robot! Damn, what a lucky guy.'

Theodore: Excuse me, did I just hear that right?

''Alice: Why of course. In what is clearly Minato's cannonical romantic relationship, he could only create Metatron through the bond with his robotic superior, Aigis. And by that I mean they metaphorically screwed each other in her room. Because what else could implanting Minato's genetic information into her Papillon Heart possibly stand in for? If any of you out there wish to disagree with such a pairing, then you are welcome to fight with me on the street for it.''

Nova: Psh. Believe what you want. (I'd totally ship Minato with Fuuka instead.)

''Alice: I heard that. You will fight me on the street later today. ''

'''Theodore: Ah, what a duel for the ages! Let us strike down all unjust shippers with the light of judgment! Just like Metatron, coincidentally. But without the blind devotion to a certain yellow headed jerkass.'''

Rena: Just be extra careful trying to use magic on this angel, cause he'll reflect every basic element except for wind back in your face! Oh and did I mention that he casts spells by shrugging and physically attacks enemies with a Nazi salute? Sounds pretty hardcore to me!

'Luther: Just don't get TOO carried away, otherwise you'll get blindsided by Metatron's weakness to being Alone in the Dark. A coincidental similarity shared by our next Persona on the list, Vishnu!'

Nova: This might sound like a bit of a random choice to all you initiated fans out there, but you'll see where we're going in a sec.

''Alice: Vishnu is a pretty well han- I mean rounded Persona that makes use of ice, thunder, and some wicked physical attacks. (Whew, handily escaped that pun.... Dammit.)''

Rena: Special mention goes to God's Hand, which literally drops a golden fist onto it's victim's head! Vishnu's got it's fair share of immunities too, but it'll probably drop dead upon the slightest touch of darkness.

'''Theodore: Now Vishnu may be a formidable Persona on it's own, but it's overall usefulness manages to rise tenfold when we take the seven headed snake Ananta into account! It's more of a support oriented Persona with no actual weaknesses once it learns to absorb wind, but it's true strength begins to arise when it uses the power of teamwork!'''

Luther: You guys might just wanna sit down for this one.

Nova: By combining the powers of both Vishnu and Ananta, Minato can use Infinity to make himself COMPLETELY F*CKING INVINCIBLE! Sure it only lasts for like one turn, but that's a small price to pay for invulnerability of all things!

Cue Music 6

'Luther: You know, having gone over Minato's backstory about a dozen times over, I'm starting to wonder... Are you sure we're not actually talking about the big J himself? I mean, the man's ultimate Persona is MESSIAH for crying out loud!'

''Alice: Ironically enough, Minato's messianic archetypes hardly end there, but let's take some time to analyze his strongest Persona first. Messiah's godly status among Personas is hardly anything to scoff at. It is true embodiment of a jack of all trades, delivering a spectacular offense, debilitating debuffs, excellent support capabilities, and even the ability to... absorb the damage taken from piercing attacks...''

'Luther: Oh ho, so Minato's a big fan of piercing, eh? I guess it only makes sense for such a successful cassanova to- GAH!'

Nova: And if you guys thought you had trouble distinguishing Minato from Jesus already, well Messiah can bring him back to life if he ever bites the bucket mid fight. Oh, he'll passively increase the strength of Minato's magical attacks as well, but that's not as important.

Rena: Really now, with all the raw firepower packed behind a single emo teen, it's pretty damn tough to track down any sort of weaknesses for this guy!

'''Theodore: Well, he DOES share the same weaknesses of every other Persona user I'm sure you've heard a million times by now. He'll feel the all the damage his Personas take, and they'll even be rendered temporarily unusable after enough damage. You know, the usual.'''

''Alice: Well that's not to say his collection of Personas is perfect. After all, many of them have an exploitable weakness that will literally knock Minato on his ass if he gets smacked by one at the wrong time. Even the almighty Messiah isn't immune to this rule, due to it's crippling weakness to darkness.''

'''Theodore: Alas, the powers of light and darkness are a truly terrifying presence in this world. One successful blow is all it takes to send an unsuspecting victim to an early grave.'''

'Luther: Which is why Minato carries a large supply of Homunculus... Homonculuses? Homunculusi? Whatever you wanna call them, these items will sacrifice themselves to ensure Minato won't be seeing the Game Over screen from any unlucky insta kill moves.'

Nova: Oh, but Minato's greatest feats come from the times he fought against EVIL gods! Yeah, more than once! Like that one of time he fought Chronos, the Greek God of Time and the evil half of one of his new friends at the time- it's a long story. Such a long story that he completely forgot about it by the end of the game.

Rena: Nah, we've gotta look even further to find Minato's true potential! And what better example would we find then the time he fought the physical embodiment of humanity's desire for death!

'''Theodore: No dear viewers, we are not exaggerating when we say this. January 31st, 2009 marked the Promised Day, better known as the coming of The Fall. This date was destined to become the end of the world, where the herald of death Nyx would descend to put an end to all life. Knowing they couldn't simply stand there with the knowledge that the world would come to an end soon, SEES rushed to the peak of Tartarus to confront Nyx and put a stop to such an early apocalypse.'''

''Alice: Long story short, Minato had to use the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP to put a stop to Nyx! ''

Theodore: Hey, I was still trying to build that up!

Rena: Sorry Theo, but we've gotta stay within the allotted runtime! So yeah, after enduring wave after wave of punishment from the deity, Minato eventually found the strength to seal Nyx away until humanity could overcome its desire for death! Sounds like a happy ending, right?

'''Theodore: THAT dear viewers, was the strength of the Universe Arcana, a previously undiscovered power that symbolizes both the end and a new beginning. Could we truly ask for a happier ending to this tale?'''

Nova: Yeah it sure was! Until he a died few months later.

'Luther: Huh. what a buzzkill.'

Rena: Yeah, it turns out taking a savage beating and subsequently sealing away the harbinger of death isn't exactly good for you health. Minato managed to keep going for a few months by sheer willpower for a few more months but...

''Alice: In the end, the Emo Jesus died quietly on the lap of his robotic lover. I'd like to think the comparisons should be obvious now-''

'''Theodore: Suck it Optimus! Minato is the one who truly died for our sins! (You're still cool though.)'''

Nova: Okay, technically speaking Minato didn't exactly DIE. He just chose to spend what could very well be an eternity being crucified to act as a physical barrier preventing ANOTHER eldritch abomination from calling on Nyx to bring the fall back!

Theodore: Such heroics are truly to be remembered...

'Luther: And don't forget the guy's love life either! I mean he's clearly slept with like five of his schoolmates, an all powerful elevator attendant, and a freaking robot! This man is my idol!'

'''Theodore: Yeah... Real heroic figure there...'''

Rena: Oh and about that all powerful elevator attendant we just mentioned? Minato's strong enough to fight and kick her ass... all on his own! At the personal request of Elizabeth to engage in a fight that would mean certain death if Minato did anything wrong.

''Alice: By that we mean Megidolaon to the face. For 9999 damage. It just goes to show that even the most uncaring people in the world can become an all loving hero if they really put the effort into it.''

Minato: Cue Footage

Yu Narukami
Cue Music 7

Nova: You know, something interesting has been on my mind lately... Did Minato REALLY die at the end of Persona 3?

Luther: Ugh, here we go again.

Nova: I mean, I can't imagine all his love interests would be happy to find out just HOW many girls he's been dating, right? And Luth, if you were in that man's situation, what would yu do?

'Luther: The hell are you asking me for? I'm not THAT much of a dick! ...And did you just misspell the word you on purpose?'

Rena: Oh, I know what really happened here! Minato actually faked his death to avoid the wrath of his many concubines! He dyed his hair, changed his name, and moved to the country all with the intent of starting his life anew!

Nova: Exactly what I'm getting at, Rena! I knew it all along!

Theodore: Yeah, that sounds like a perfectly sensible theory...

Alice: Except for the part where that's absolute bullshit.

'''Theodore: You guys do realize Minato's still around as the Great Seal, right? *ahem* With that in mind, Yu Narukami is a youth with much more humble origins behind him.'''

'Luther: Yu Narukami? Nu uh, I KNOW his real name is actually Souji Seta-'

.*SMACK!*

Cue Music 8

Nova: Not so fast! Unlike Minato's vague condition, Yu Narukami is this brotagonist's OFFICIAL name, all thanks to the fighting games and animes!

Rena: Aaaanyway, Yu's lived a relatively boring, uneventful life for as long as he's remembered, having to constantly move to different homes and schools because of his unseen parents. But everything changed when he was transferred to the seemingly peaceful town of Inaba.

''Alice: Yes, I suppose the whole Velvet Room drug trip is already a massive neon sign that your life is about to take an abnormal turn. Hell, you could say that turn came the moment he shook hands with that creepy gas station attendant.''

Nova: Fooooooooreshadowing!

'Luther: Supernatural circumstances aside, Narukami here's still a regular teenager like anybody else, so that means high school shenanigans for all! Everything's been going even considering the Hell that is modern day high school, until he started watching too much television. (Never thought I'd say that.)'

Theodore: It seems there's been a strange rumor going about, stating that if you stared into an empty television on a rainy midnight,you'd get to see your one true love!

Alice: And because this is a JRPG, all the local myths and rumors MUST be true, no matter what!

'''Theodore: Why yes, except in this case the Midnight Channel essentially acts as a forecast detailing who's going to die on the next super rainy day, as Yu and his new friends would soon come to realize. I mean, how else could you explain the dead body that just happened to be lying atop a telephone pole?'''

Rena: So with nothing but curiosity in his heart surrounding the day's latest murder victim, Yu did the only sensible thing he could think of... HE JUMPED HEADFIRST INTO THE FREAKIN' TELEVISON!

Nova: Instead of breaking his skull and splattering his brains all over the screen, Yu and his friends found themselves inside the Midnight Channel, otherwise known as the TV World in simpler terms. There, they would come face to face with a pun spewing cartoon bear, an overbearing cloud of fog, and well... Rena, if you would?

Rena: Yay, it's time to talk about murders! Cause it turns out another chick was killed in the exact same way as the last poor schmuck!

'''Theodore: Coincidence? I think not! In an effort to seek justice for those killed by such a mysterious phenomenon, Yu ventured into the TV World once more, but his investigation hit a massive roadblock when the party was suddenly attacked by Shadows!'''

'Luther: Now instead of deciding to become an hero, Yu decided to take a significantly saner approach to defend himself here. Well, as sane as you can get when a tarot card randomly shows up in your hand. Everyone say it with me this time...'

'Per... so... NA!'

Cue Music 9

''Alice: With a simple grasp of his hand, Yu took his first step towards Reaching out to the Truth. He had awakened his initial Persona: Izanagi!''

Theodore: With this new power in hand, Yu would soon become the leader of a ragtag high school Investigation Team dedicated to finding tout the truth behind these mysterious murders!

'Luther: And ooh boy, this Persona really knows how to kick some ass! In its first outing, (in the anime at least) Izanagi effortlessly tore through the entire fake town while trying to destroy an army of Shadows!'

Rena: Its design is undeniably badass, especially with that naginata in hand, but Izanagi's a pretty simple summon all things considered, specializing in wild electric attacks, deadly spear lunges, and a few basic status buffs.

Nova: Just be perfectly aware that Izanagi'll probably fall over upon the slightest breeze. Get it? Cause he's weak to wind?

'''Theodore: Yes, hilarious as always. That said, for a starting Persona, Yu has really gone on to rely on it much more than you may think. You can usually expect it to be the first Persona Yu throws out in a fight, but that's far from the only tool tucked up his sleeves. The TV World is a truly dangerous place, so naturally Yu needs to come prepared with what is possibly the SINGLE greatest weapon in Persona history: The Golf Club!'''

...

''Alice: Yeah that's... cool and all, but Yu realized that a basic slab of metal PROBABLY wasn't gonna be enough to fight off the hoards of Shadows that awaited him, which is why he soon favored the classic two handed blade instead. Katanas especially. Because katanas are just better.''

Rena: *groan* Again with the standard RPG weapon choice?

Luther: Right, well Yu's gonna need more equipment than that to properly explore the TV World, which is why members of the Investigation Team wear a stylish pair of glasses to protect them from the fog within the dungeons they'll come to explore.

''Alice: But looting around all these RPG weapons and armor in public isn't exactly the brightest idea, especially when the main portal to the TV World is in the middle of a popular mall. Which is why, I kid you not, the Investigation Team smuggles their equipment into the TV World by hiding them underneath their school uniforms.''

Rena: Now I can understand how easy it would be to hide a small knife or a compact transforming weapon, but how the hell does everyone manage to hid such crazy shit like two handed katanas, chainmail, and actual freaking schooldesks?! I'm not kidding, there's a guy that uses a schooldesk to slam his enemies in this game! And it is awesome!

Nova: Let's just call it hammerspace and move on.

Alice: More like lazy writing.

Nova: But of course, Yu's true defining feature is the Power of the Wild Card, which we literally just explained like five minutes ago while we were talking about Minato. Cause let's face it, Izanagi alone isn't always enough for Yu to triumph.

'''Theodore: Atlus, if you're reading this, PLEASE do not make Arsene obsolete by the time the secodn dungeon rolls around in Persona 5! It's FAR too badass not to use!'''

'Luther: If Yu really wants to spice up the situation, he can always call upon the ever so lovable Pyro Jack! He's basically Jack Frost's infernal twin brother! From he-'

Nova: What? Pumpkin?! Pumpkin what?! What the fu-

'''Theodore: As the polar (or should I say bipolar?) opposite of the lovable series mascot, Pyro Jack's all about burning his enemies to the ground! He even manages to trump his little sibling with the use of some handy defense buffs and an actual resistance to ice attacks! '''

Rena: And if you're stupid enough to think fighting fire with fire's a good idea here, this Jackaboy'll just eat it up to restore it's own health! Not bad, plumpkin! Not bad at all!

...

''Alice: Uh, Luth? Your line's up next, what's the hold up?''

'Luther: Let me just clarify something, all right? If a Persona is supposed to be the manifestation of your inner thoughts and all that... Oh ho ho, I'm gonna have a field day explaining THIS son of a bitch!'

[http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/megamitensei/images/a/ae/376.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20101119233025 [Cue Picture... Possible "suggestive" footage, so BEWARE!] ]

Theodore: Bloody hell, what the f*ck am I looking at right now?!

Cue Music 10

Alice: What's the matter Theo, feeling a little inadequate, or are you trying to compensate for something?

Theodore: Well, not exactly-

'Luther: Ah, well having Mara as a Persona happens to coincide perfectly with Yu's character! Now you see, while Minato COULD stack up a harem with some careful planning, Yu just says f*ck that, I'ma just round up all the girls I can get my hands on! Ah, this series is simply amazing.'

Nova: And it's pretty damn clear Yu's mere presence is enough to make even the straightest of dudes question their sexuality too!

''Alice: Well, that's what all the Yosuke shippers would have you believe anyway. *shrugs*''

Rena: Hell, Yu actually has MORE potential love interests than our beloved emo messiah, if you can even believe that... But that doesn't mean it won't come around to bite him in the ass when Valentines Day rolls around.

'''Theodore: Right, I suppose it makes sense that Yu would have a Persona that would accurately... reflect such activities. I must say, that is quite a big accomplishment behind his belt.'''

...

Alice: You do realize the carnage you've just started, righ-

'Luther: Yeah, that's the spirit! Come on Allie, you don't have to HARDEN up so much if you don't want to.'

Alice: *Groans of increasing discomfort.*

Rena: Eh, I don't get it. What's REALLY important here is Mara's ability to produce AND absorb heat!

'''Theodore: Indeed, but Mara's true specialty lies in the art of piercing! With its immense power, Mara needs but one thrust to penetrate the frail form of darkness!'''

'Luther: And while we're on the topic, some of those physical attacks are capable of poisoning their targets too! Plus, if you're smart enough with your fusion tactics, you can make Mara shoot off Poison Arrows too! Damn, I'd hate to find out what kind of STDs this thing's carrying.'

Nova: And if any of you guys out there are confident enough to think you beat off this massive beast, well let's just say that's gonna take a schlong time. Cause Mara can straight up absorb physical attacks, and has an extra special affinity for piercing!

Alice: Ugh, these jokes are flaccid, just stop giving them headway already!

'Luther: Ha ha ha! Ah, this just makes me wish we were using the Persona 3 version of Mara instead, who really happened to HATE receiving cold showers! but on the bright side, this one's especially resistant to getting blown off instead!'

Rena: Yeah, this whole section's been kind of confusing as is, but what really doesn't make sense is Mara's weakness to.. light? I don't think I see where that's COMING from.

Theodore: Perhaps she simply prefers a heavier payload?

'Luther: Wait, that giant dick monster is a SHE?! ...Well that's a wooden development.'

Cue Music 11

''Alice: All right if we're all done screwing around in the gutter now, it's time we talked about a much less conspicuous, yet just as deadly Persona. I am of course talking about Alice.''

Nova: Uh, why are you suddenly talking in the third person?

''Alice: I'm talking about the young demonic girl this time, you fool! haven't you ever heard of Alice in Wonderland? If I was a petty android, I'd say off with your head for such insolence!''

Luther: Huh, I didn't know you were such a fan of that work.

Rena: Oh, but THIS version of Alice is much more hardcore than than the Disney character many of you may be familiar with! Cause she'll play 52 card pickup... with the pieces of your face!

'''Theodore: Morbid, but very true. Do not let Alice's petite appearance fool you, as she is very much adept at the art of dark magic. When she's not blasting her foes with wave after wave of Almighty energy, she'll be scoring insta kills with the shrouds of darkness!'''

Nova: This girl gets even deadlier when she whips out her signature attack Die For Me! With it, she drops a rain of card soldiers from the sky with a sixty percent chance of automatically killing her victims. Death by paper cuts is never a pleasant way to go if you ask me.

''Alice: Sixty percent may not sound too accurate too accurate on it's own, but Alice also knows Mudo Boost, which boosts the success rate of her dark spells by 1.5 percent. All right, pop quiz time! Can anybody tell me what 60 multiplied by 1.5 is?''

Rena: Oh, pick me! I know the answer! It's 90! Die For Me now has a ninety percent chance of murdering someone!

''Alice: Conglaturation, this question is correct answer. You have earned a cookie.''

Rena: Yay! *chomp*

''Alice: Now then, let's move on to our next guest! *Cue Sound*''

Luther: Wha- I'M UP, I'M UP!

Alice: No sleeping in class, plebian!

'''Theodore: When the horns of justice sound, it's a telltale sign that the Persona Trumpeter has made it's appearance! And oh boy is this thing a real nightmare for any unfortunate victims that cross its path!'''

Nova: Now Trumpeter's got it's fair share of offensive capabilities, especially when it's devastating electric attacks are concerned, but the real meat lies in its support skills!

Rena: Oh yeah, Trumpeter's claim to fame can be summed up in two words: Debilitate and Heat Riser!

'''Theodore: Rena, that was three words. Four if you count the word and.'''

''Alice: These abilities are responsible for decreasing the stats of the opposition for greatly buffering your own capabilities respectively. And just like in any Megaten game, these status buffs can truly mean the difference between victory and a game over.''

Rena: So yeah, such a wide variety of abilities on a single Persona sounds pretty broken, right? Surely it's gotta have some kind of weakness to balance everything out? Well that's where you'd be DEAD WRONG! This band member has NO weakness!

'Luther: Oh it ain't just that either, as Trumpeter blocks darkness, absorbs ice attacks, and outright reflects electricity and light! Hot damn, somebody at Atlus either screwed up the programming big time or had a deep love for the band club!'

Alice: While we're on the topic of Game Breakers, I suppose now is a better time than any to introduce Yoshitsune, a Persona that many fans consider to be a perfect compliment to the menace that is Trumpeter.

'Luther: Hey look, I think we just found Lobster Lord's long lost cousin! No wonder they're both broken as shit!'

Nova: Huh... Something tells me this isn't just a coincidence. I mean they're both red samurai that can shoot lightning from their blades... YOU DON'T THINK-

Rena: Well Yoshitsune has access to Heat Riser as well, and it's electric attacks are as brutal as ever, but only really needs two moves to kick some serious ass!

Nova: Hey, I was just about to make an earth shattering point-

'''Theodore: It should be pretty clear at this point that Yoshitsune is mainly a physically oriented Persona, which is why it'll use Power Charge to more than double the strength of it's next attack! Combine that with a few status buffs, and all you need to do now is UNLEASH YOUR RIGHTFUL FURY WITH HASSOU TOBI!'''

Nova: Boo, you guys are no fun!

''Alice: What exactly does this attack do, you may ask? Oh, it's only an absurdly powerful multi hitting attack that absolutely shreds the battlefield around it with no regard for mercy! Believe me when I say the damage from a Power Charged Hassou Tobi is absolutely insane.''

'Luther: Oh and just like with Trumpeter, the oversized lobster knight here has no freakin' weaknesses either! he'll resist fire, block any physical attacks, and reflect electricity and light! Oh and look here, we've only just passed the halfway mark on our list!'

Rena: Ooh, I've been looking forward to this! It turns out Narukami here can summon the Devil too! And wouldn't you know it, this one's a massive Game Breaker too!

Alice: Enter Lucifer, the true Lord of Chaos, and arguably the true hero of the entire Shin Megami Tensei franchise.

'''Theodore: Eh, I really don't know about that. I mean sure, the entire Law Faction is a giant sack of genocidal bastards in my book, but Uncle Lucy's not exactly a saint either.'''

Nova: Whatever you wanna think of Lucifer himself, at least we can all agree that SMT Law sucks, right?

Everyone: Aye.

'Luther: Granted, Lucifer's not as much of an egregious powerhouse as our last two Personas, but he still does his job pretty damn well to say the least. He'll naturally learn Mind Charge to amp up his magical attacks and Spell Master and Victory Cry for better SP preservation.'

Rena: Though his main specialization in ice magic is pretty weird if you ask me. If anything, you'd expect the goddamn Devil of all people to be able to manipulate all the POWERS OF HELLFIRE! I mean come on, what's up with that?!

Nova: Eh, if it helps ease your mind a bit, Lucifer doesn't exactly suffer from any weaknesses either. He'll resist physical attacks, block darkness, absorb electricity, and repel light, which he ironically happens to be weak to until he learns the appropriate skill.

''Alice: Well, aren't you in a good mood? In that case, I'd like to ask: Do you remember the guy we had kill your husbando a few episodes back-''

Nova: *grumble* Don't remind me. (I still say that was bullshit though.)

'''Theodore: Seriously, you're still not over that? Anyway, this segway brings us to Magatsu Izanagi. No, despite being a literal recolor of Izanagi, this IS considered to be an entirely different Persona.'''

Rena: Why are you staring at me when you say that?

'Luther: Now ironically enough, this Persona is a representation of the bond between Yu Narukami and... Drumroll please...'

Cue Sound

The serial 'killer the Investigation Team has been chasing after all this time! What a twist!'

''Alice: Granted, Adachi was doing a pretty good job of hiding his crimes until the teens finally managed to come to the proper conclusion. Oh uh, spoiler alert. The bumbling detective was the killer all along.''

Theodore: But never fear, because even under the threat of death, Yu knew that the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP would ultimately prevail over evil!

Nova: Eh, it's more like the memory of a good ass kicking! F*ck you, Adachi! Taste my friendship!

Cue Footage

Rena: Remember kids, violence solves all your problems! That's the story of how Yu basically mugged Adachi in order to gain a new Persona! And believe me when I say that was totally worth it because Magatsu Izanagi is an absolute beast!

Luther: Now while it may be lacking in the whole elemental resistance department, only being able to block insta kill moves and nothing else, this Persona is just as powerful as it was in Adachi's possession.

'''Theodore: Indeed, Magatsu Izanagi has a brutal, yet versatile moveset dedicated to tearing its foes to shreds! Whether it's slamming you with powerful magic or brutally stabbing you with its naginata, getting in this Persona's way is the last thing you'd ever want to do!'''

Alice: Now with that, I believe it's time to move on to the Persona representing Yu's cannonical tsundere love interest, Kaguya.

Nova: Wha- You can't possibly believe that Marie of all people is Yu's canon girlfriend! I mean come on, he's got SO many better choices-

''Alice: The tsundere race conquers all. Your argument is irrelevant.''

Nova: Dammit...

'Luther: Besides, when your girlfriend secretly turns out to be an all powerful amnesiac goddess, what more could you ask for? But with that said, Kaguya is more of a supporting Persona than anything else.'

Rena: It's a bit of a lame reward if you ask me, but Kaguya specializes in quick healing, insta kill light magic with another 90 percent success rate thanks to Hama Boost, and a few decent physical attacks on top of that.

'''Theodore: Even so, Kaguya was actually the Persona used to deliver the finishing blow on the final boss in the Golden Anime. THAT is why you should never underestimate the strength of LOVE!'''

Nova: Wow, that was cheesy. Naturally, this butterfly monster is far from perfect, especially when you consider its weakness to fire. It's super effective after all, since she's clearly a Bug Type. Luckily, Kaguya resists wind and blocks insta kill moves to make up for that.

Cue Music 11

'Luther: Whew, this has been a long analysis, but the end is finally in sight! Why don't we go ahead and skip to the end of the game now?'

Nova: Heeee'res a plot twist! Sure, Adachi may have been the bastard responsible for starting this string of murders and kidnappings, but who REALLY caused this series of escapades and fog to begin with? Why, it's that creepy gas station attendant from the beginning of the game of course!

''Alice: Yeah, remember her? We only ever saw her once, but it turns out she's actually some goddess that wanted to seek out humanity's true desires, which in this case meant flooding the world with fog and having everybody live in utter ignorance.''

'''Theodore: But our heroes simply could not let that happen, so they ventured into the TV World one last time to openly confront Izanami and beat the ever loving shit out of her! Things were going pretty well for our Scooby Doo gang here... until Izanami decided to show her true form.'''

Rena: It was at this point where Izanami started cheaping out and spamming insta kill moves on the entire party, but hey, that's nothing the power of friendship can't stop, right?

'''Theodore: How right you are, citizen! Not one to give up so easily, Yu returned from the brink of death, channeled all the bonds he had created over the course of his journey, and gave rise to his ultimate Persona: Izanagi no Okami!'''

Nova: Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about! As Yu's strongest persona, this new Izanagi is every bit as powerful as you'd expect! It possesses absolute mastery of all the elements, Mind Charge to further amp it's already ridiculous strengths, and Heat Riser to power Yu up even further!

'Luther: But what really cements this Persona's lofty position are its signature moves! Angelic Grace is a passive skill that allows easier evasion against all the regular elements and Myriad Truths... Well...'

Cue Footage

'''Theodore: It was this very move that allowed Yu to defeat Izanami for good, after tanking wave after wave of seemingly lethal blows beforehand if I may add. But unlike our previous protagonist... Yu actually managed to survive all this so he could star in later games in the series!'''

''Alice: That is very true to say the least. And Yu didn't stop his God slaying career there, oh not at all. His other accomplishments include defeating Chronos alongside Minato in Persona Q... only to completely forget the experience because of the status quo...''

Rena: Oh, and remember the all powerful elevator attendant we mentioned earlier? Well Yu managed to take on her big sister alone, and win! He even went on to win a fighting tournament that pitted him against many other Persona users including all his friends and even a few members of SEES!

'Luther: THAT adventure was topped off with a fight against a psychopathic misanthropic swordsman with a love for terrible puns and yet ANOTHER crazy ass God that wanted to screw over the world. And in the latter instance, the only aid Yu required was that of Adachi! Uh, spoiler alert. Again. '

Nova: But we can't forget this dude's wicked dance moves either! We've barely even begun to scratch the surface of either combatant's social lives either... Damn, is there ANYTHING that can stop him?

''Alice: In all honesty, Yu doesn't have many notable weaknesses, though he does share all the same flaws as Minato in that regard, minus the need for an Evoker at least. Really, the only thing capable of conquering the ol' brotagonist here is a nice serving of Mystery Food X!''

'''Theodore: *shudders* Yeah... I'm not kidding when I say a single bite of that abomination is enough to slay a god...'''

Rena: I guess there's only one way to find out, is there? May the best pimp win!

Yu: ''The connections we make give us strength... and we've forged new bonds in this strange world.''

Interlude 2
Nova: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all...

'Luther: Yeah, I think we've spent more than enough time here as is. With all that information out of the way...'

Theodore: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

Pre Fight
'Location: Tartarus? Approaching the top floor.'

Cue Music 12

Today... was a rather dark day to say the least. The mysterious tower Tartarus had abruptly arisen in the middle of the land, denizens of multiple worlds were colliding, and the multiverse as we know it was clearly coming to an end. Nobody knew for sure, but this new incarnation of Tartarus would hold all the answers people seek. Naturally, this meant the start of a new journey and the means to forge new connections with others for many people across the world.

Many souls have clashed, allied, or otherwise crossed paths along the way, but very few have successfully reached the tower, let alone approach the peak. Despite sharing the lofty achievement of reaching the top before anybody else, the two teenagers responsible for this feat were not about to meet with the friendliest of terms. One was a soft spoken, yet big hearted youth with a head of silver hair. The other, an equally devoted, yet somewhat more mature man with a noticeable hue of blue spread across his hair.

"Who are you?" the two of them spoke simultaneously, immediately catching eye of the opposing of one another from the opposite end of the room.

"I'm Yu Narukami... I'm sorry but... Do I know you? You look awfully familiar." the silver haired youth opened up, immediately walking forward to meet the newcomer.

"I... can't say I remember meeting anyone like you before. My name is Minato Arisato, by the way." the opposing teen returned the favor and continued to walk towards the center of the room.

"Sorry. I just can't help this strange feeling I have... But I can assume you're here to find the truth behind Tartarus, right?"

"Right... I'm here to put a stop to this apocalypse too... And I think I know what you mean... Why can't I recall?" Minato replied, only to suddenly grasp his head in an unexpected spike of pain. Yu clearly felt the same, stopping in his tracks to tend to his own mind.

"Ugh! What... is this?" Yu barely managed to stutter his words. The pain in his mind was starting to become absolutely unbearable (no bear pun intended) at this point.

"That's... impossible..." Minato was crouching down at this point, even deciding to swallow a few painkillers from his pockets to help ease the pain as he came to a sudden realization.

"Everything's just rushing back into me as if...You're the boy from the labyrinths, aren't you?"

"Yes, that's it. You know, I really can't believe we forgot about that journey. We made a promise too, right?"

Cue Music 13

"...How are you even alive right now?" Yu suddenly asked with a grim tone.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've heard all about it from your friends. How you sacrificed yourself to become the Great Seal. How you prevented the Fall from coming to fruition. What happened since then?" Yu continued his little interrogation, in dire need for an answer of any kind.

"Look, I'm still just as confused as you are, alright? I don't know why I'm suddenly alive again as if nothing ever happened! All I knew from the moment I saw Tartarus again was that I HAD to get to the top again. But there's nothing here!" Minato snapped, still clutching his forehead as he attempted to make sense of this situation.

"To be honest, I don't know what to do now either... I mean, you'd at least expect to find some kind of eldritch abomination bent on destroying the world in the name of mankind's desires, right?"

Minato let out a quick snicker before responding. "Well, I have some semblance of a plan in mind... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" the blue haired youth questioned as he reached for his trusted Evoker.

"Yeah. You remember what Margaret taught us, right? The clash of two Wild Cards signifies the concept of infinity... Of limitless potential..." Yu responded, reaching for his katana upon confirming the situation he was now in.

"I guess you don't need me to tell you again, huh? Then I hope you're ready to give this everything you've got! Fight as if you mean to kill! To hold back would be nothing less than disrespectful!" Minato firmly warned as he pointed his Evoker at his head.

"I know. There's too much at stake for this to be a friendly spar. But know that I'm not going to let my companions down, no matter what!" Yu reaffirmed his beliefs and stretched out his arm to reveal a blue tarot card in his hand. the bearers of the WIld Card need not require another word to come to a full understanding. All that remains now is a life or death confrontation that will determine the fate of the bonds they hold so dear to their hearts...

Cue Music 14

"IZANAGI!"

ORPHEUS!"

FIGHT!


''QUICK DISCLAIMER: There are no sprites for Orpheus out there so... just pretend Thanatos is actually Orpheus in that pic, okay?''

Upon their master's commands, the two Personas instantly appeared before the combatants, lunging forward to unleash a basic blast blast of fire and electricity. The projectiles met halfway, unleashing a brilliant explosion of red and blue upon contact. With his vision temporarily obscured from the resulting smoke, Yu and Izanagi banded together and lunged forward in an electrifying dash, hoping to catch Minato off guard in the process.

Yet Orpheus was well prepared to handle Yu's initial offense as it brought its harp down on the approaching duo. Sure enough, Izanagi instinctively raised its naginata in self defense upon exiting the explosive cloud, engaging in a bladelock of sorts with the Master of Strings. Minato reached for his own blade and rushed forward to aid his own Persona, but Yu was nowhere to be seen, much to his confusion.

Yu leaped from cover the instant Minato was within range, coming down on his foe with a skillful descending slash. His target was certainly able to parry the blow, but the sudden impact left Minato staggering for a select second. It was the perfect opportunity. With the opposing summoner distracted, Izanagi broke away from Orpheus and triumphantly lunged its weapon into the air, bringing a violent lightning bolt down upon the Master of Strings.

Not only was the bolt a direct hit, but Izanagi had managed to strike Orpheus with its very own weakness. Both Minato and his Persona stumbled back in pain upon receiving the blow, allowing Izanagi to ruthlessly stab Orpheus with its weapon. Yu capitalized on the situation with a swift but true strike to Minato's face with the hilt of his blade. Then with Orpheus literally still in tow, Izanagi threw the Persona off of the naginata, now sending it flying into its own master.

Results
Cue Music

Post Episode
Cue Music Who would you root for in this fight? Minato Arisato Yu Narukami What is your favorite Persona game? Revelations: Persona Persona 2: Innocent Sin Persona 2: Eternal Punishment Persona 3 FES Persona 4 Golden Persona Q: Shadow of the Labryinth Persona 4 Arena Ultimax Persona 4 Dancing All Night

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