Boba Fett vs Khan

Boba Fett vs Khan is a What If? episode of Death Battle

Intermission
Boomstick: Why stick your sword in a girl to get another human being when you can create your very own?

Wiz: The space age in film has taught us that breeding other people via scientific experiments have incredible consequences.

Boomstick: Like Boba Fett, the green-shelled assassin.

Wiz: And Khan, the superhuman sociopath with a vengeance.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle

Boba Fett
Wiz: Boba Fett is unnatural in more ways then one. He was not born into the galaxy, rather, created, as a clone of the fearsome bounty hunter Jango Fett.

'''Boomstick: Not fearsome enough, though. He tended to get a-head of himself...He he he...'''

Wiz: Jango was the one who taught Boba all the skills he knows. Eventually he was known as the best bounty hunter in the galaxy.

'''Boomstick: Complete with the most badass space-suit ever, It is made out of Mandolrion metal. Look, another fan-made meta that is stronger then titanium!'''

Wiz: Okay, I think at this point, it's safe to assume every universe has some metal stronger than titanium. Though, to this one's credit, it's actually a lot heavier, sacrificing mobility for durability. Actually, it can even resists lightsabers!

'''Boomstick: His gauntlets house a flamethrower, fibercord whip, and numerous concussion and stun missiles. But his weapon of choice is his EE-3 carbine rifle, which Fett often cradles like a child. There there, EE. Daddy's here. Killin' time soon.'''

Wiz: That's... creepy.

Boomstick: However, my favorite thing in Boba's bag is his badass jetpack.

Wiz: Which he uses for short-range travel, and to gain a mobility advantage over his foes. Too bad he cant fly on it for long.

Boomstick: The jetpack also has a single anti-vehicle homing missile, because when you've got space for a missile, why not?

Wiz: In short, Boba Fett is a human swiss army knife. He's killed hundreds of criminals, politicians, and Jedi, and battled Mace Windu to a draw when he was only 12 years old.

Boomstick: An accomplishment so manly, it instantly kick-started his puberty.

Wiz: But for all his skill, Fett has one great, inescapable weakness: the Sarlacc Pit. This flaw is so unavoidable, he was knocked into the pit by a blind and physically drained Han Solo while wearing a jetpack.

'''Boomstick: And since Disney bought Star Wars and nixed the expanded universe, this is where Boba Fett's story officially ends. DANGIT! WHY WHY!'''

(*Transition appears*)

Wiz: Well, that's stupid, so here's what happened in the expanded universe!

(*Transition disappears*)

Wiz: Using a combination of his jetpack and blowing himself up, Fett actually escaped the Sarlacc, he later became leader of the Madalorian warriors after the Galactic Civil War, and even held his own against Darth Vader.... twice.

'''Boomstick: While using one of several lightsabers he's taken from his Jedi kills, and that's pretty goddamn impressive, but you know what's even more impressive? The time he trained Han Solo's Jedi daughter so that she could kill an evil all-powerful Sith Lord, who just so happened to be her own brother! Geez. Spoilers. Unfortunately, Fett's greatest weakness still remains that toothy sand vagina.'''

(cue Departure of Boba Fett (Boba Fett's Theme))

Wiz: He has fallen into the Sarlacc a total of three times... three. And the Sarlacc's not exactly running around looking for snacks. It's a friggin' hole in the ground!

'''Boomstick: And again, he can fly! Fun fact: Every year following his escape, Boba Fett returns to the planet Tattooine just to shoot the Sarlacc. In his spaceship. From orbit. He's learned his lesson, he's staying as far away from that shit as he possibly can.'''

Wiz: Fear of teethy holes aside, few have survived once he's set his sights on them. Boba Fett is a whole new meaning of deadly.

Khan
Wiz: The Federation has faced many incredible foes in its infinite goal to explore the universe.

Boomstick: But none of those alien psychos come as bat-shit crazy or as awesome as this guy here.

''Khan: My name. Is. Khan!''

Boomstick: Holy fuck, that gives me chills!

Wiz: Khan looks, talks and walks like a man, but he is another creature entirely. He wasn't born at all. He was the product of a selective breeding or genetic engineering program, based on the eugenic philosophy that held improving the capabilities of a man improved the entire Human race. Augments produced by the program possessed physical strength and analytical capabilities considerably superior to ordinary Humans, and were created from a variety of Earth's ethnic groups.

Boomstick: Yawn, could you say that in English, please?

Wiz: Alright. Khan Noonien Sing was one of over a hundred of his kind bred in laboratories, by scientists trying to achieve breeding the pinnacle of human mental and physical potential. However, when Khan and his people were made aware of their incredible powers, they used them to conquer nearly a third of the Earth as rulers.

'''Boomstick: But, naturally, it wasn't long before the shit hit the fan. Turns out, the people of Earth didn't like the thought of being ruled by psychopaths - even if history had taught them that they should be used to it. '''

Wiz: The human race fought back against Khan's kind and, after a really long war, the humans sentenced them to death. However, Khan managed to escape with seventy-two other of his kind and put them all in suspended animation on his ship, the Botany Bay.

Boomstick: This Khan guy sounds like a real wimp!

Wiz: Anyway, Boomstick....

'''Boomstick: Three hundred years later, the Federation was in its prime. After Spock's home planet, Vulcan, was sucked into a black hole, the Federation started brutally searching space for other races to fight and use as fists and shields. Bastards!'''

Wiz: Khan's ship was discovered and Khan alone was revived. Starfleet Commander Admiral Marcus used his phenomenal intelligence and capacity for brutality and savagery to secretly create vicious new weaponry in preparation for a war with the Klingons...which he planned to start.

'''Boomstick: But, naturally, Khan didn't like being a subcategory of the food chain, and rebelled against Marcus. He smuggled his suspended-animationeded brothers and sisters and quickly became...'''

''Spock Prime: ...the most dangerous adversary the Enterprise ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless...and he won't hesitate to kill every single one of you!''

Boomstick: Sounds like a real laid-back guy!

Wiz: He is anything but. Khan is the ultimate human being in almost every way when it comes to brains and brawn. Though he doesn't look like the Incredible Hulk, he possesses superhuman strength, capable of leaping huge distances, kicking somebody several metres off the ground, or even cracking a human skull in half with his bare hands.

Boomstick: Wait, WHAT THE FUCK!!

Wiz: It's finally happened.

'''Boomstick: Ok, forget everything I said right there. This guy is AWESOME! I mean, that's not something you just do. That's art right there.'''

Wiz: Anyway, the ability to crack a skull open at all means that Khan's bones and joints are incredibly powerful. They are also really durable, meaning he can jump from any height and extremely hard, and he will stand up straight in a matter of seconds. This is attributed to the fact that Khan's bone structure was genetically primed to perfection.

Boomstick: Boring science stuff aside.....

Wiz: I'm not finished yet, Boomstick.

Boomstick: I don't care...

Wiz: Anyway, Khan also possesses incredible brainpower and speed of thought, with an elaborately analytical mind. His brainpower means that he can create an immensely complicated plan that will almost certainly succeed, giving him the advantage in every single way. As a result, he is probably one of the most intelligent men on the planet.

'''Boomstick: Do you have to ruin everything? The whole cracking heads open thing is enough for me!'''

Wiz: Anything that isn't smart is enough for you, Boomstick. As a result of his abilities, Khan has a variety of skills. He is very knowledgeable in science and technology, enough to create a series of dangerous wepaons for space warfare. He is capable of single-handedly piloting a starship bigger and more complex than the Enterprise - which is difficult enough to pilot with hundreds. He is also an expert marksman with almost any conventional firearms, and due to his strength he can carry a cannon in just one hand. This is shown when he wiped out an entire Klingon squadron, including many reinforcements, by himself. In addition, Khan has an extremely precise memory and can process impossible amounts of detail for ages.

Boomstick: His blood is also...really weird.

Wiz: Khan's blood contains very potent regenerative abilities and can even restore a cancer patient - when injected - to full health. This means that, even after a prolonged battle with a series of opponents, he can carry on going for days to come.

Boomstick: This guy's arsenal includes a selection of throwing knives, a teleport device, some pistols and small rifles, a space suit that can survive in a vacuum for days on end...and that's about it.

Wiz: Khan Noonien Singh is one of the most ruthless enemies that Starfleet ever crossed phasers with, and there's no question why.

Khan: You-should-have-let-me-sleep!