User blog:Lnsanitation/Mr. Clean vs Saitama

Mr Clean vs Saitama is a 'WTF-If?' Death Battle pitting Mr. Clean from the Procter & Gamble Commercial series of the same name against Saitama from the Manga and Webcomic "One Punch Man."

Description
Both are renowned the world over for their deeds and skills, their great physique, and their lack of hair. Who will come out on top in this East vs West battle of the baldies?

Opening
Wiz: Hairless heroes who want to make the world a better place, albeit in different ways, and while possessing much more power than anyone around them

Boomstick: and few do it better than these two.

Wiz: Mr. Clean, Procter & Gamble's top cleaning expert.

Boomstick: And Saitama, the One Punch Man.

Wiz: Since there's only ever been one Mr. Clean, we're sticking with the source material for both fighters... I still can't believe we're doing this.

'''Boomstick: Me neither, but they're too late to stop us now. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick'''

Wiz: and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

Mr Clean
Cue "Dragon Ball Xenoverse OST - Track 02"

Wiz: In the year 1958, American company Procter & Gamble needed a hero to help lift them to the top of the Household Cleaning Industry.

'''Boomstick: And Mr. Clean did it in just six months! But before he became the clean-cut mascot we all know, he was a boy. He... wasn't all that impressive back then.'''

Wiz: Surprisingly enough, he's got some strange powers. With a wave of his hand he can create a bottle of his trademark cleaning solution, out of thin air. These bottles are somehow virtually unbreakable despite being made of plastic.

Boomstick: He's got the charisma to win over nearly any woman.

Wiz: And whether man or woman, his mere presence seems to bring joy to those around him. Even so much that they spontaneously break into song!

Boomstick: People all over the world love him because he can save them a lot of money when cleaning tough surfaces.

Wiz: He's got a fantastic punching technique, and over the years he hasn't appeared to age. Cue "Street Fighter 5 OST - Balrog"

'''Boomstick: Mr. Clean can teleport at will, and disappear and reappear in a puff of smoke. His reflection can magically appear in any surface, which he can of course reach out of.'''

Wiz: And if a surface isn't clean enough for him to appear in, Mr. Clean can clean it, from the inside until it would work for him. He can also reach his arms out of bottles of his cleaning solution, and even has the ability to unleash lightning from it, manipulate reality, or move the bottle around. ANY Bottle.

'''Boomstick: Mr. Clean is fast enough to be in millions of places at once, can grant people the ability to create life with a mop or rag. He can even grow to an enormous size, pull the sun out of the sky with his bare hands, and hug it without breaking a sweat, and while smiling.'''

Wiz: Further note on his speed, Mr. Clean is capable of cleaning a whole house and everything that's in it... in just one minute. The largest house in the world is the Anilla in Mumbai, India at 400,000 square feet of floor space, just to do the floors in that time would require Mr. Clean move at 959,999.04 feet per second, or 654,544.773 miles per hour, 853 times the speed of sound.

'''Boomstick: That's just for the floors! Accounting for walls and ceilings it could be much, much faster.'''

Wiz: But he doesn't come unarmed, he has a whole line of useful equipment.

'''Boomstick: Like the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, which looks like a sponge, but cleans like magic. It can clean all kinds of surfaces with water alone, but he's not coming with water alone because he's got all kinds of concentrated cleaners. These cleaners are highly toxic and doubles his cleaning power and come in Lemon, Gain Original, Febreeze Meadows and Rain, and Dawn.'''

Wiz: They can even come equipped with spray nozzles. He's also got the Magic Eraser Extra Power Mop. Are.. are we really doing this? This isn't a joke?

Boomstick: The Extra Power Mop is four and a half feet long, has a padded grip, and its sturdy contruction makes them confident enough to offer a lifetime limited warranty.

Wiz: Can.. can we just get this over with?

Mr. Clean winks and gives a thumbs up.

Saitama
Cue "One Punch Man OST - Violent Acts"

Wiz: Before Saitama became the Caped Baldy, he was but a man. Out of work, rejected, and with no real joy in life.

'''Boomstick: Until one day he saved some weird looking kid from a crab monster, and he realized his true calling... kicking ass!'''

Wiz: Saitama wanted to become strong, the kind of hero who could save the day, defend otherwise defenseless citizens, and defeat monsters with a single punch.

'''Boomstick: To accomplish this, Saitama trained his body to its limits, doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and running 10 kilometers EVERY DAY. He didn't even use an air conditioner in summer or winter, this was to train his mind. To keep up his strength Saitama ate three meals a day, with only a banana for breakfast.'''

Wiz: Even when his body felt like it was to its limit and about to break, he kept going. It was when he lost all his hair that he knew he has become strong. Cue "One Punch Man OST - Tense"

'''Boomstick: Saitama can shatter swords with his teeth, kill monsters made of water... somehow. He can punch the air and destroy vast landscapes, punch a mole guy into the sky, defeat the Sea King, who was toying with other heroes, and deflect Boros' Planet Buster Beam, a blast capable of destroying the surface of the planet... with one punch. Hey, Wiz.. wouldn't you think something called the Planet Buster Beam would.. I dunno, bust the planet?'''

Wiz: I would, if it weren't explicitly stated by Boros himself to be surface level.. and Although Boros wasn't defeated with the first punch, a serious punch did away with him. Saitama's tough enough to be kicked to the moon with very little damage and completely no sell almost everything before that

Boomstick: Except cats.

Wiz: Right... except cats.

Boomstick: He's fast enough to catch Speed of Sound Sonic's weapons and dodge the lightspeed slash!

Wiz: Well, it probably wasn't actually the speed of light, but is at least a massively hypersonic speed.

'''Boomstick: Saitama can dodge close range blasts, and leave an after image that Genos tries to fight. He can side hop so fast he looks like he's in thousands of places at once, effortlessly.'''

Wiz: He can see long distances in the dark, easily passed all physicals required to be a hero.. though he just barely passed the written exam. He does however need to eat and breathe but CAN survive in the vacuum of space.

'''Boomstick: But when you're that much more badass than everyone around you, those weaknesses may be negligible. Hell, an opponent that adapts to any foe couldn't figure out how to fight him! Saitama is the strongest of the S Class Heroes, the Hero Association, and possibly... the world, but does he have what it takes to punch his way to victory against Mr. Clean?'''

Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

Fight
Cue "Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time OST - Shop"

Saitama walks into a store and sees a giant sale sign. He smiles, seeing one last bottle of Mr. Clean cleaning solution for half price. Saitama reaches for it, but another hand grabs it at the same time. The camera zooms out, revealing the hand to be that of Mr. Clean. They lock eyes and Saitama glares at him. They tug back and forth, fighting for control of the bottle.

Mr. Clean: I saw it first.

Saitama: Ok.

Mr. Clean tries to pull the bottle from Saitama, who is still holding on. Mr. Clean pulls harder as a tiny Mr. Clean reaches out of the bottle, trying to pry Saitama's fingers off the bottle.

Saitama: What the..?

Cue "One Punch Man OST - Raise a Fist"

Saitama casually slaps him in the head, sending Mr. Clean flying through the wall of the store into the parking lot. Saitama takes his prize to the counter and begins to check out. Mr. Clean stands up, seeing dirt on his shirt and narrows his eyes at Saitama.

Mr. Clean: My mother gave me this shirt!

Saitama: Oh.

Mr. Clean: Don't talk much, huh? Well how about I clean up your attitude?

Saitama shrugs, starting to walk out the door. Mr. Clean teleports behind Saitama and kicks him in the back, knocking another hole in the store as Saitama rolls through a parking garage, sending vehicles flying. He climbs out unscathed. Saitama's eyes again lock with Mr. Clean's.

'''Saitama: You're still conscious? You really are strong.'''

FIGHT!

Mr. Clean pulls out his Magic Eraser Extra Power Mop, spinning it like a bo staff as lemons and flowers fly from the mop head. He teleports in front of Saitama, swinging the mop. Saitama catches the handle with his teeth, shattering it before throwing a normal punch. Mr. Clean sidesteps it, punching Saitama in the ribs and kicking him several times. After a few kicks, Saitama grabs Mr. Clean's leg and lands a normal punch, knocking him several stories up into a skyscraper with a glorious explosion. Mr. Clean leaps back out onto the street.

Saitama: Are you done?

Mr. Clean: I haven't even begun.

Mr. Clean generates a bottle of cleaner, punching it at Saitama.

Mr. Clean: My bottles are unbreakable!

Saitama throws a semi-serious punch, destroying the bottle with the force of his punch.

Saitama: Ok.

Mr. Clean charges at Saitama who stands still waiting for him. Their fists collide and they match each other with a furious display of punches before eventually the energy is too much and blows them both back.

Saitama: (thinking) He's still standing?

Saitama: Serious punch.

Saitama launches Mr. Clean high into the sky, parting the clouds with his shockwave with his punch and starts to turn around.

Saitama: Well, I guess that's that.

Cue "One Punch Man OST - BATTLE!"

Mr. Clean winks at Saitama from the reflection of a window. Saitama turns around, but sees nothing. Mr. Clean teleports in front of him, catching him with a knee to the stomach, and teleports into the air after Saitama. He kicks him hard and slams him back down, leaving massive craters in the road as several cars roll over trying to avoid the chaos.

Saitama throws a flurry of consecutive punches, Mr. Clean dodging them with his teleportation and again teleports behind him. Saitama anticipates the move and elbows backward, catching Mr. Clean in the stomach and sending him flying. Saitama runs after him at breakneck speed, punching him again explosively. Saitama's face seemed to change from anger to excitement as Mr. Clean recovered from the punch.

Cue "Dragon Ball Xenoverse OST - 17"

Mr. Clean throws a punch at Saitama that launches him into a different timezone. Saitama crashes hard into the moon, pushing it back slightly and adding a new crater to the moon. Saitama quickly starts holding his breath and jumps back toward the planet, Mr. Clean runs toward him as well. They are no longer in a city.

Saitama: Serious Punch.

Saitama's punch buries Mr. Clean deep below the earth's surface, carving the planet's crust from flat plains into something like the grand canyon. Mr. Clean grunts as he is knocked below. Saitama lets out a sigh. Mr. Clean, beneath the dirt examines his outfit, which is filthy and torn. He begins grinding his teeth together as his face begins to turn red. Mr. Clean teleports back in front of his opponent.

Mr. Clean: Dirt... DIRT! I HATE... DIRT! Now you've done it! I am going to clean up your act!

Saitama: Serious-

Mr. Clean vanishes in a puff of smoke, and Saitama's forehead becomes shiny and clean as it is thoroughly shined from the inside. Mr. Clean appears in the shine on Saitama's head and starts punching him. Mr. Clean reaches his arms outside of Saitama's head and grabs his nose, twisting it.

'''Saitama: Ouch! Hey! Cut it out!'''

Saitama smacks himself on top of the head to try to get the muscular bald man out of his head shine. Mr. Clean teleports in front of him, spraying Saitama's face with a spray bottle of Mr. Clean as Saitama screams and slams his eyes shut, trying to blink the chemicals from his eyes. Mr. Clean teleports around him, punching and kicking from several different directions as Saitama blindly throws his fists around.

One of the punches connects and Mr. Clean is sent hurdling to the moon himself, and is launched clean through it as the moon splits right down the middle.

Saitama rinses his eyes in a nearby river.

'''Saitama: (Thinking) This.. is this.. what I've been looking for? Is this the fight I've been dreaming of? ''' Cue "One Punch Man Theme Song"

Mr. Clean grabs both halves of the moon, one in each hand and hurls them like frisbees at Saitama. Saitama's face changes from joy, to looking totally serious.

Saitama: Serious Punch!

Saitama punches the first moon half back with precision, redirecting them toward his opponent. Mr. Clean catches them, tossing them away as the split moon is thrown into the sun. Mr. Clean teleports in front of Saitama, punching him into the upper atmosphere. With nothing to stop him from drifting into space Saitama takes a deep breath, blowing himself back with his highly trained lung muscles. Saitama sees his opponent and pulls back his fist for a punch.

Saitama: SUPER Serious...

Mr. Clean: Inaudible growling

Saitama: PUUUUUUNCH!

The view switches to x-ray camera, revealing the skeletons of the two combatants as Mr. Clean flexes his arm, readying himself for the punch. The music suddenly cuts as Saitama's fist hits the dense muscle.

Cue "Mr. Clean Jingle"

Mr. Clean winks as Saitama's fist bones are filled with cracks that run all the way to his shoulder, shattering his arm. Saitama's eyes widen as he grabs his shattered arm, screaming. Mr. Clean returns a punch, sending Saitama flying high into space. Saitama sees he's heading toward the sun and puts his arm up to block it, when Mr. Clean appears behind it, having grown to sizes much larger than the star.

Saitama: What!?

Mr. Clean: I will show you TRUE POWER! NOTHING can overcome the cleaning power of Mr. Clean!

Mr. Clean grabs Saitama, squeezing him in his fist and grabs the sun with his other.

Saitama: Ser-

Mr. Clean slams the sun into Saitama, squeezing them together between his giant hands as the sun consumes the One Punch Man. Saitama's face seems to warm up, looking happy and fulfilled as he is atomized. Mr. Clean returns to his normal size, looking at the massive destruction the fight had made on Earth. He pulls out his magic eraser, looking at it.

Mr. Clean: Looks like I've got a lot of cleaning to do...

KO!

Outcome
Cue "Chrono Trigger OST - The Last Day of the World"

Boomstick: What just happened?

Wiz: While Saitama may have held the edge in experience, and have much better striking feats, Mr. Clean's powerset is well... crazy. Mr. Clean is more versatile, can attack from almost anywhere.

'''Boomstick: Even from on top of Saitama's head. But Wiz, I thought Saitama broke his limiter and withstood a black hole?'''

Wiz: While it's true, he did officially break his limiter, but that doesn't necessarily translate into infinite strength, and not only was that filler, like most black holes in fiction, it behaved nothing like a real one. It's.. just not reliable. Even with that, it.. wouldn't change much.

'''Boomstick: You mean it wasn't even close? But... but my one punch! Everything's so casual!'''

Wiz: As of now..? Not really. The one punch rule has been broken by the series itself, and Mr. Clean's feats are ALL very casual as well. He's never even appeared dirty. I mean he casually manhandled the SUN! It's kinda like the Guts vs Nightmare situation all over again.

Boomstick: With Saitama playing the role of Nightmare.

Wiz: Saitama is clearly above and beyond the natural limits set by his universe, but when you really compare the enemies he's faced to other universes, they stop seeming so impressive.

Boomstick: Take it easy on the kid, he's just one season old!

Wiz: It really came down to Mr. Clean displaying feats above and beyond Saitama as he currently is. At least he finally found the fight he's been dreaming of.

Boomstick: Looks like Saitama got taken to the cleaners.

Wiz: The winner... is Mr. Clean.

Boomstick: ...Really?

Wiz: I don't like it either, Boomstick.

'''Boomstick: Want to grab a beer? I could really go for a beer after this'''.

Wiz: You know what? Why not. Let's go.

Mr. Clean Advantages/Disadvantages

+Teleportation

+Versatility

+Casual Star Level

+Durability

+Totally Unpredictable

+Can attack from inside surfaces

=Speed

=Yet to display an upper limit

-Lacking in striking feats

-Less Fighting Experience

-Majority of Cleaning Based Arsenal is less than useless against someone like Saitama

Saitama Advantages/Disadvantages

+Much more experience

+Casual Planet Surface to possibly Planet Level

+Faster, Explosive Punches

+Is powerful enough to render most of Mr. Clean's weapons useless

=Yet to display an upper limit

=Speed

-Only has brute force going for him

-Overconfident

-Less Versatile

-Less consistent durability

Poll
Who did you want to win? Mr. Clean Saitama

Do you agree with the results? Yes No Not sure I hate you