Steven Universe vs Crossbreed Priscilla

Intro
Felicia: Crossbreeds. In real life crossbreeding usually leads to many birth defects and health problems that affect the resulting offspring for their entire lives.

Drake: But nobody making fiction has time to do actually research, so most fictional crossbreeds are fine. Even if they go against everything we’ve learnt about DNA and breeding.

Felicia: Like Steven Universe; the half rock, half human child of Greg Universe and Rose Quartz.

Drake: And Crossbreed Priscilla; the half dragon abomination from Dark Souls 1.

Felicia: Also; since both of them a kind, loving people who just so happen to have atleast one parent that’s a literal war machine, I’ve decided to make them fight to the death.

Drake: You MONSTER!

Felicia: You destroyed multiple kingdoms!

Drake: Yeah; how does that make you any less of a monster?

Felicia: ..., I’m a witch.

Drake: Then why were you offended by me calling you a monster.

Felicia: Ummmm; screw you!

Drake: (Sarcastically) Great comeback.

Felicia: (crying) I hate you.

Steven Universe
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/steven-universe/images/f/f0/Steven_Shield_WD.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/350?cb=20160406110631

Origin Steven Universe

Age 14 years old mentally; younger physically (can controll his physical age); technically over 6000 years old (is his mother)

Gender Male (technically (he is his mother (has become female through fusion)))

Height 3 feet 6 inches; varies with shapeshifting; can become around 7 feet tall with age manipulation

Weight Unknown; varies with shapeshifting and age manipulation

Drake: We haven’t even got to his backstory yet, and I’m already confused! So he is his mom?

Felicia: Yep, it’s a long story, so we’ll explain it when we get there.

Drake: (groaning) This is going to be one of those days.

Backstory

Felicia: Around 6000 years ago an alien race made of crystals invaded Earth to mine it’s resources dry; hollowing out the planet and turning it into an other colony in the process. But one crystal, a rose quartz, had something to say about it.

Drake: Rose Quartz didn’t like watching a planet so full of life be destroyed, so she and a bunch of defective gems decided to rebel against the Homeworld. And they actually succeeded, somehow.

Felicia: Homeworld had every advantage in the war: numbers, technology, training, leadership, and they even had the homefield advantage, because they were the ones who colonized the planet in the first place!

Drake: Unfortunately, only five of the rebels (including bismuth) had survived the war, and the Diamonds, leaders of the Homeworld, had corrupted the remaining soldiers and placed a doomsday weapon into the center of the planet called the Cluster.

Felicia: So for the next 5700 years the Crystal Gems fought these corrupted gems, until one day Rose Quartz met a man who went by the name Greg Universe.

Drake: Greg at this time was a rockstar that traveled city to city. One day when he went to Beach City (which would be like calling New York City, Island City) and played for the town. But since he apparently is terrible at his job, only one person showed up.

Felicia: That person was obviously Rose Quartz. After the show, Greg tried to give her a T-shirt, but she vanished before he could give it to her.

Drake: Determined to fine her again, he went to the beach and followed a talking purple owl (which was just one of the Crystal Gems in disguise) to a cave were he gave the T-shirt to Rose.

Felicia: A little later, when he was leaving the town, he got annoyed at his manager and decided to quit. He kicked the guy out of his van and drove back to the beach where he asked Rose to be his girl.

Drake: Despite technically dating one of her teammates at the time; she said yes to his proposal and married him.

Felicia: Years later, Greg somehow managed to get her pregnant, despite her being a rock with a body made of light.

Drake: Rose Quartz then turned into Steven (because giving birth to him would have apparently been to unrealistic), and 14 years later he finally started to gain control of his abilities.

Felicia: Did that clear any of the questions you had?

Drake: No. I now know even less about him then when we started.

Felicia: I guess it will make more sense when we get to his powers, ablities, and personality.

Drake: I hope so.

Personality

Felicia: Steven is a kind, innocent, and forgiving kid who’s most the time is extremely happy. He’s empathetic to everyone and everything he meets (including his enemies). He tries to think about the positives in life while avoiding the negative, and is pretty emotional. He’s easy to upset and dislike most violence, preferring to talk out his problems rather then fight. He academically is incredibly smart, scoring high grades on his test (and finding his way out of a old gem war death trap), but lacks a lot of common sense (he was the one who activated the gem death trap) due to living mainly with the Crystal Gems most his life. When he gets serious he has been able to think of creative ways to get out of trouble, but most the time he over thinks his problems and usually needs someone else to help him overcome the issues.

Powers and Ability

Drake: As a Crystal Gem, Steven has many powers and abilities he can use in battle. One of these abilities is physical characteristic way above that of an average human being.

Felicia: Steven’s strong enough to pick up stone pillars larger than himself, pick up music equipment that could weight down multiple full grown men, and can push a giant car sized monster made of waffles into a pit of lava.

Drake: He along with the other Crystal Gems were stated to be able to destroy a sentient island that was a tectonic emergency and were shown to beable to demolish an alien warship that could tank multiple island destroying lasers.

Felicia: Steven’s also incredibly quick, being able to run faster than the human eye can see and is comparable to people who can pilot a space ship going near the speed of light through an astriod belt.

Drake: But his biggest strength is his defense. He’s survived being thrown through a stone stadium, had a stone temple explode in his face, and has survived hits from Bismuth (one of the original Crystal Gems).

Felicia: But if his natural durability isn’t enough he always has his mother’s shield, which he can summon at anytime through the use of his gem. With this shield he can block attacks that would normally kill him in a single hit.

Drake: He can use this surprisingly amazing shield to attack people in many different ways, but the one that sticks out the most is it’s ability to disperse projects and summons.

Felicia: And if even his shield isn’t enough to protect him, he can always summon a magic bubble.

Drake: The bubble he summons can protect him from the entire OCEAN falling on top of him!

Felicia: Steven’s also recently gained the ability to summon spikes onto his shield and can use a grappling hook to pull foes into them.

Drake: If you somehow managed to get past all of that, he can always just heal himself using his saliva.

Felicia: He can even resurrect things using his tears, but he can’t do it on command or on himself.

Drake: But defensive abilities aren’t the only powers he has. Due to having his mother’s gem he has phy-to-kinesis; is that a word?

Felicia: Yeah, it means he can controll plants.

Drake: Oh. With his ‘phytokinesis’ he can bring plants to life and have them fight for him.

Felicia: Steven also has the ability to sense people’s emotions. Like when he felt that the corrupted gem in the lighthouse was in pain.

Drake: But those powers pale in comparison to some of Steven’s weirder powers. Like being able to ‘jump good’ like Samurai Jack-

Felicia: -Its actually his ability to float, but I agree with you it’s pretty much a more versatile ‘jump good’.

Drake: With his float power he’s been able to jump thousands of feet into the air within a few seconds and has dodged attacks from holo-Pearls and Jasper.

Felicia: Steven also has the power to shapeshift his body; allowing him to stretch at will-

Drake: -And turn his fingers into cats, like seriously what the hell!

Felicia: Despite being able to that, his shapeshifting isn’t really that good and requires lots of concentration to do.

Drake: Even more worthless is his age manipulation that only effects himself.

Felicia: It also doesn’t really increase any of his physical stats, so it’s really useless.

Drake: But his last and weirdest power is his ability to enter other people’s minds! With this creepy and absurd power he can see your thoughts and memories, and, not even making this up, can prossess people.

Felicia: He has to be asleep to use his mind powers, but he has been shown to be able to go to sleep within a second or two.

Equipment

Drake: We finally have all his powers listed. I hope he doesn’t have that much equipment.

Felicia: All he has is a sword. https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/steven-universe/images/6/6a/Roses_sword.png/revision/latest?cb=20140821235417

Drake: I thought he would have more than a Buster Sword rip-off, but this beauty will do. While this 5 foot monster of a sword may look silly, it’s actually ridiculously powerful.

Felicia: Well technically powerful, it was designed to cut through the light bodies of gems like butter, but never destroy the gem.

Drake: Despite that it’s still been able to cut through aliens like hot butter and redirected an attack that could kill Steven in a single hit.

Felicia: It’s also been used to defeat gems, but since that’s what it was designed to do, it doesn’t really count.

Weaknesses

Drake: I’m guessing Steven has a lot of these.

Felicia: Steven’s in the middle of the show’s climax right now, so this is probably going to be the point where he has the most weaknesses.

List of weaknesses
 * Lacks common sense
 * Inexperienced with most of his powers and sword (this doesn’t apply to his bubble or shield)
 * Has the pain tolerance of an average human
 * Has a huge dislike of fighting
 * Can get to emotional extremely quickly
 * Usually cannot think straight when sad
 * All of his powers are tied to his emotions
 * Most of his powers and abilities aren’t helpful in combat
 * Using his powers tires him out quickly
 * Can’t resurrect himself
 * Runs far slower than he can react

Drake: Holy Hell! That’s a spicy meatball.

Felicia: ..., what the heck are you talking about-

Drake (Dressed as Mario): I’m saying that’s a lot of weak sauce.

Felicia proceeded to tear the costume off and rolled it up into a ball of yarn.

Felicia: Your not going to be needing this; are you.

Drake: I was going to wear it if we ever had Mario fight someone, but that’s probably never going to happen, so let’s just get back to Steven.

Felicia: Gladly; anyways Steven does have a ton of weaknesses, most of which stim from either being in the middle of maturing, living with the Crystal Gems most of his life, or from being mostly human.

Drake: Others like running thousands of times slower than he can react just come from it being a kids show, and for the show to have actual conflict.

Felicia: But despite all of these flaws he’s been able to accomplish many things no other human would be able to.

Feats
 * | Defeated | Bismuth
 * Defeated Jasper when they were fused with | Connie or | Amethyst
 * | Fought Amethyst when both of them were not trying
 * Is far stronger than Sapphire, the latter being able to disperse a city sized cloud by | hitting a baseball
 * Defeated a | ruby when both of them were in a tiny room
 * Held up | Rose Quartz’s Light Canon while it fired
 * Pushed the Together Breakfast Monster into a pit of lava
 * Held a stone pillar bigger than himself with his shield
 * Pushed a boulder two other gems couldn’t
 * His bubble shield survived the ocean falling on top of it
 * Survived a stone temple exploding in his face
 * Survived the vacuum of space for a bit
 * Had a conversation in the stratosphere
 * Survived on an alien planet for weeks (possible months)
 * Found out how to escape a gem death trap, while the other gems couldn’t
 * Caused a pier to fall onto a corrupted gem.
 * Out smarted rubies
 * Bubbled the Cluster

Drake: How many season of Steven Universe is there?

Felicia: Five.

Drake: I’m surprised he has so little feats after 5 season; you really have stretch for a few of these.

Felicia: That’s because the Crystal Gems and the show creator usually like to keep Steven out of harms way. His main weapon is a shield after all.

Drake: He’s also only 14-

Felicia: -Getting back in topic! while he surprisingly doesn’t have that many feats, the ones he has are pretty good. He’s been on hundreds of adventures, as defeat corrupted gems on hundreds of occasions, has come up with complex plans quickly, fought off holo-pearls, and can defeat Bismuth.

Drake: On the other hand some of his other feats just suck, like out smarting rubies. For those who don’t know rubies were established as idiots (yet they tricked the Crystal Gems somehow).

Felicia: But despite all his strengths and flaws you can always count on Steven Universe | to save the day-

Drake: [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PfKUdmTq2MI| -And if you think he can’t. He’ll always find away.]

Felicia: | That’s why the people of this world believe in-

| -Garnet-

| -Amethyst-

| -and Pearl-

Steven: | And Steven!

Crossbreed Priscilla
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/darksouls/images/b/b6/Priscilla.png/revision/latest?cb=20130102193715

Origin Dark Souls 1

Age Thousands of years old

Gender Female

Height Around 15 feet tall

Weight Unknown

Drake: SHE’S SO CUTE!

Felicia: She’s also ridiculously tall; 15ft jeez.

Drake: And, like all dark souls bosses, she has a long and absurd backstory.

Backstory

Felicia: Priscilla backstory is actually a lot more complex then every other boss, because most of it isn’t even in the game.

Drake: When Hidetaka Miyazaki was making Dark Souls 1 he original was going to have a heroine, like the Madien in Black from Demon Souls, be in the game.

Felicia: But he decided that firekeepers would be better, so he change the heroine into a boss.

Drake: She went from being the heroine to being the antithesis to all life in atleast one draft; that’s impressive.

Pre-Fight
Steven and the rest of the Crystal Gems can be seen in the church in Anor Londo. Next to them there is a bunch of people in white robes tied up in Amethyst’s whip.

Amethyst: (groaning) What are we even doing here.

Pearl: Amethyst it’s not like we’re not here on purpose; the warp pad got damaged right before we used it and this is where we ended up!

Amethyst: And whose fault is that-

Pearl: Yours!

Amethyst: How was it my fault!

Garnet: Amethyst, your the one who angered the Wyvern nest.

Amethyst: They shouldn’t have built a nest around our warp pad.

Pearl: (fuming with rage) Amethyst that doesn’t mean you can just destroy their stuff!

Amethyst: Does too.

While Pearl and Amethyst continued to argue, Steven could be seen grabbing a peculiar doll off the floor. It was next to a giant painting of a snowy castle.

Steven: Hey guys look at this.

Pearl: Not now Steven, we’re trying to figure out where we are, so just don’t touch anything-

While Pearl was saying that Steven touched the painting. All of a sudden it started to suck him in head first.

Steven: Ahhhh!

Pearl: Steven!

Garnet and the rest of the Gems grabbed on to Steven, but he quickly slipped out of there hands like he was a bar of soap.

Steven: Ah, Ahhhhh!

Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet: Steven!

Steven: Guys!

Steven fell into a deep dark Abyss for what felt like an eternity before finally passing out.

-later-

Steven: Uggh. What happen?

Steven slouched up, only to see that he was in the painted world of Ariamis.

Steven: Uh!? How did I get here.

Steven remembered the doll he had picked up, and quickly pulled it out of his pocket and stared at it.

Steven: I really need to learn not to touch strange artifacts.

Suddenly a powerful cold breeze blasted into the area, nearly blowing Steven of the bridge.

Steven: Ah! I need to get off this bridge before something pushes me off.

Steven quickly shoved the doll back into his pocket before heading off to the castle.

-a minute later-

Steven: Burr. It’s freezing out here; if I don’t find shelter soon I’m going to freeze to death-

Before he could even finish his sentence, Steven noticed a lit bonfire right next to him.

Steven: Oh, that’s convenient.

Steven sat next to the fire, and once again pulled out the peculiar doll. It felt as cold as the grave, and it was covered in old, dead, white fur. The doll made Steven feel depressed while looking at it, like it’s original owner’s sadness had become one with the it.

Then Steven could feel a sense of content coming from the icy prison that laid before him. He real quickly looked at the icy stone walls of the castle before looking back down at the doll.

Steven: That must be the original owner; maybe they’ll know how to get out of here.

Steven shoved the doll into his pocket and jumped up into the sky, so he could stare into the walls of the castle.

Steven: Ok, so I can see a phalanx, a guy with a funny hat, and-

Before Steven could finish his sentence a demonic crow grabbed onto him and began picking at his eyes.

Steven: Ah!? Ow, ow, ow; Hey knock it off!

Steven bit the crow’s leg; causing it to drop Steven into a ice prison tower below.

-Elsewhere-

Crossbreed Priscilla can be seen standing in the prison tower like she usually does, waiting there for the rest of time. All of a sudden her face was slammed into the concrete at high speeds, while a 3 foot 6 inch kid rammed into her.

Both Priscilla and the young boy yelled out on agony.

Steven: (groaning in pain) Stupid crow.

Steven looked up, and his eyes started to sparkle at what he saw.

Steven: Giant woman.

Crossbreed Priscilla rubbed the back of her head in pain before noticing the little person next to her.

Crossbreed: Who art thou? One of us, thou art not.

Steven: I’m Steven, Steven Universe, and you-

Crossbreed: -Thou dost not belong here! If thou seekest I, thine desires shall be requited not.

Priscilla tightened the grip on her scythe.

Steven giggled at Priscilla’s accent, not noticing her tightened grip on the scythe.

Steven: You talk funny; anyways do you know how I can get home?

Crossbreed Priscilla pointed to the cliff.

Crossbreed: I beg of thee, plunge down from the blank-

Steven: -I’m not jumping down that!

Crossbreed: Then thou art an invader, hurrying to thine death.

Crossbreed Priscilla raised her scythe up and swung it down.

Conclusion
Drake: (holding his mouth) I think I’m going to be sick.

Triva

 * This was supposed to be my fifth (atleast) fight, but it was just to good not to do.
 * I didn’t even know Dark Souls was getting remastered when I thought of this; I just thought the ideal was to good not to do.